Without You
by sarcasticbella089
Summary: The sequel to Give Me Everything Tonight. Follow Jesse and Beca and their friends as they navigate adulthood and learn some of life's most valuable lessons. Rated M for adult themes. Jeca all the way.
1. The best of my love

**Welcome back friends!**

 **I am super excited to start another journey with each of you, and hope that you love this story as much as the first. I have many ideas in store, so buckle up, it's about to be a wild adventure. As in all of my stories, please be prepared for lots of Jeca sex, cursing, and possible descriptive scenes. What can I say, Jesse and Beca just can't keep their hands off of each other :)**

 **My Beta, CajunQueen714, is absolutely the best and is my right hand when it comes to this story. Thank you for endlessly bouncing ideas with me and for always supporting me.**

 **Lots of love to each of you! Drop me a review, I would love to hear your thoughts!**

* * *

 _Four years later..._

"Alright, hands at ten and two." Jesse instructed.

Alex looked up at him, totally lost. "Huh?"

"Just...put your hands on the handle bars."

"Oh, well, why didn't you just say so?"

It was a gorgeous Saturday morning in June in Suburban Connecticut. Through out the neighborhood, husbands mowed the lawn, wives read the morning paper, and children ran about, frolicking and playing.

Twenty four year old Jesse Swanson credited himself on being a hands on father. He had been there the moment his daughter came into this world, had gotten up with her in the middle of the night, had spent countless Saturday's with her at the park, and had taken her to her very first Broadway Musical. Yes, he was certainly involved. Alex called upon Jesse just as much as she called upon Beca. And on this particular Saturday morning, four year old Alex Swanson was hell bent on learning to ride a bike without training wheels. Jesse on the other hand, wasn't so sure about it.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? There's no pressure here." He gently insisted once more. But Alex was sure, she wanted to be just like the big kids.

"Yes Daddy, I'm sure." Came the four year olds slightly irritated response. He looked down upon her.

Alexandra Kate Swanson, at four years old, she was 80% Beca and 20% Jesse. With striking blue eyes, and straight, shoulder length, mousy brown hair, she had more drive and determination than most grown adults. Potty training had been practically nonexistent in their lives. A month shy of her 2nd Birthday, Alex woke Beca up one morning, demanded big girl panties, and never looked back. As the first born of Jesse and Beca's inner circle of friends, Alex was wise beyond her years and often spoke like such. Inquisitive, and observant, she was well aware of her surroundings, and often stood back, preferring to observe. Though when the time called for it, she was well equipped with sass and wit, two skills Jesse always reminded her came straight from her mother. Alex did have some of Jesse in her. She had a heart bigger than her body; the child was sweet, kind, and most of all, endlessly loving. Jesse and Beca had yet to raise their voices at her. She knew the rules, and towed the line.

And then came the movies, the endless movies, with Disney topping the list. Beca was convinced she would spontaneously combust if she had to hear ' _Let it Go_ ' sung one more time. Even now in the middle of June, Alex was still asking Beca if she wanted to build a snowman.

But in the end, Alex was a damn good kid, and both Jesse and Beca adored her.

"Daddy just don't let go!" Alex reminded.

Jesse held his hands over hers as he hovered over her. "I'm not going to let go, I promise."

* * *

"Mark, it's 9 o'clock on a Saturday morning, this better be damn good." Beca insisted as she sat in the kitchen drinking her coffee.

"And good morning to you too sunshine!"

Beca rolled her eyes at her boss's cheerful sarcasm. "To what do I owe this honor?"

"So glad you should ask. Listen, we need you in L.A next week Bec. Wednesday-Saturday. You're flying Delta out of LaGuardia at 7am. You should get into LAX around 9:30. We've got you booked at the Hilton."

Beca glanced over at the whiteboard calendar the family shared. Looking over to Wednesday, she already knew what she would find. Jesse was going to be in New York from Tuesday-Friday, meeting with Touchstone Pictures about creating a score for a new upcoming drama.

"Wednesday? No can do, Jesse's in New York with Touchstone next week, I can't leave my daughter."

Mark sighed. "Bec, now you know I hate inflating your ego another notch, but we both know you're the best I've got, and this girl is the real deal. She just got kicked off some reality singing competition, though I'm not sure how..."

His voice faded into the background as Beca looked over their most recent family picture.

Rebeca Mitchell-Swanson was an up and coming music producer with Columbia Records. At just 24 years old, she had made more connections than most people ever would in their entire lifetimes. She had already worked with Pharrell Williams, Adele, and Calvin Harris. She was quickly making a name for herself in the music industry; and while she was a force to be reckoned with, the average American Citizen walking the streets hadn't the slightest clue who she was. And this, was exactly how she preferred it, producing music was her gift, and she loved the anonymity it provided.

"...We need to hit this hard Bec, I want her before anybody else realizes how good she is and snatches her up. I'm pulling out all the stops for this and I need _you_ to seal the deal. I get the whole work/family life balance thing, but it's not an option right now. Hire a babysitter, call on family, do whatever it is you need to do. But your talented ass is on that plane Swanson."

"I can't believe you let go!" Alex screeched as she ran into the house.

"You told me to!" Jesse called after her, running in right behind her.

"And you listened to me?!"

Turning her head, Beca took note of her daughter, knees scraped and bloodied, tears streaming down her face.

"Mark, I gotta go." Beca explained, hurrying to get off the phone.

"LA Beca, Wednesday!" He reminded.

"Yes, okay, fine, I will be there, goodbye!" Hanging up the phone, she looked over to her husband and daughter.

"He let go!" Alex cried as she quickly ran over to her mother and jumped into her arms, dripping blood onto Beca's Barden T-shirt and Soffe shorts. Beca turned to face Jesse as she she stroked Alex's hair.

"You let go?" She questioned, shocked at the accusation.

"He let go!" Alex reiterated, hitting the statement home. Jesse sighed.

"Excuse me, but might I have a second to give my side of the story?" He questioned, hoping for a chance to defend himself.

"I'm listening." Beca answered as she walked into the bathroom for the Neosporin and Band-Aids.

Placing Alex down on the toilet seat, she grabbed the medical supplies as Jesse stood in the doorway.

"She was doing beautifully, riding like a champ, when she asked me to let go. And of course I said no, I told her I promised that I wouldn't let go." He began.

Sitting on the toilet, Alex screamed out at the feel of rubbing alcohol on her knees. Blowing cool air over it to help ease the sting, Beca whispered soothing words to help calm her down.

"But _your_ daughter is stubborn and determined, she insisted that I let go. I asked five times, and every single time, she told me to let go, so I did. And she did great! Until she had to stop, which she couldn't." Jesse explained.

Beca grabbed two _Frozen_ band-aids, and gently applied them to Alex's knees.

Jesse bent down beside his young daughter. "It gets easier each time sweetheart, we just gotta stick with it."

"We? You already know how to ride a bike, I'm the one doing the work." Alex insisted.

Jesse sighed and glanced up at Beca who was trying to hide her laughter. "This personality right here, this is all you." He reminded her.

* * *

"I talked to Stacie this morning." Beca said, leaning up against the sink with her coffee mug in her hand. "She wants Alex to be her Flower Girl." Beca said it in a way that Jesse knew meant there was more to the story, but he couldn't understand what.

"Oh come on, you _had_ to know that was coming. It's great, and Alex is gonna love it."

Beca glared at him.

"I'm missing something here. What am I missing?"

"Jesse, Stacie's wedding is in Disney World. I am not taking Alex there, not this young. Hell, I don't even want to go to Disney World. I'm still trying to figure out how Stacie, of all people, has a Disney Obsession."

Jesse scoffed as he popped a bagel in the toaster and grabbed the cream cheese out of the refrigerator. Turning to face her again, he sighed. "Bec, our daughter is the most mature four year old I know. If anybody can handle Disney, it's her. Come on, we can't not take her. If she found out we went without her, she'd never forgive us. It's Disney World, the Princesses, the rides, the Castle, she's going to have a blast."

"You and I agreed, no Disney before she turned five."

Jesse paused, remembering back on the conversation. "True, however, that decision was made before she developed a personality. Alex is more mature and in control of herself than any other four year old I know. She's not spoiled, she's not bratty, and she doesn't have horrific tantrums. Bec, I think she can handle this. One week. You, me, and Alex. I promise I will make it a great trip. Trust me on this."

Beca sighed. She knew Jesse was right. She knew that Alex would have an incredible time and that she was only digging her heels in because she could.

"Okay, fine, she comes with us. But we lay ground rules...right now."

"Of course."

"We are _not_ buying everything in sight; we are not _doing_ everything in sight. And, she has to take naps...period."

"Alright warden, I'll present her with your list of demands and get back to you." Jesse joked.

Beca shook her head. "You're irritating when you get your way."

"Well dollface, you're the one who married me." He reminded her, leaning in for a kiss. Smirking at him, Beca stuck her tongue out.

"Oh, I almost forgot, we're going to need to find someone to watch Alex Tuesday night to Friday night."

Jesse grabbed a butter knife out of the drawer and began to smear the cream cheese. "What, why? I thought you had that covered. I'll be in New York, and I know we gave Greta the week off, but you'll be here."

Greta, Alex's nanny, had been with the family since Alex was three months old. And, after four years of helping them care for their daughter, she was a much needed and much loved member of their family. But this upcoming week, she was in Cape Cod, vacationing with her husband, children, and grandchildren.

"Yeah, about that, Mark called earlier. There's some new chick they want to sign to the label, and they want me to make the pitch. I leave for LA Wednesday morning, and I'll be back Saturday night."

"They can't get someone else? You're not the only producer Columbia has."

Beca sighed. "But Mark says I am one of the best. Dude, I tried to get out of it but he wasn't having it. I have to go."

"Alright, well, Greta's out, and my parents leave for their cruise tomorrow morning."

"Dad's doing that summer abroad teaching program in London, and there's no way in hell I'm about to leave my child with Sheila for more than a few hours." Beca added.

"I'm sure Chloe and Luke won't mind. Stacie and Scott, Ashley and Michael, Jess and Benji, we've got plenty of options. We can ask around tomorrow at the bar-b-que." Jesse reminded her. Beca nodded her head in agreement and walked over to pour herself another cup of coffee when she heard the dreaded music bellowing in from the livivng room.

 _"Do you wanna build a snowman_

 _Come on, let's go on and play."_

Beca stood at the counter, her back towards Jesse as her hand gripped the coffee pot. "Jesse..."

"I'm sorry, she insisted. I tried, really, I was selling Mulan hard, but...Frozen won out."

In the Swanson household, Frozen always won out.

* * *

Beca and Jesse had what most would call a very healthy, active sex life. Beca remembered back to when she was pregnant with Alex, and how she worried that the sex would somehow be different after a baby. And, in a way, it was. They learned to be quieter, to be quicker, and more creative. But still, every time was still as good as the first time. After four years of marriage, the young adults could still barely keep their hands off of each other, and it wasn't uncommon for them to be making love up to six times a week. Beca was beginning to think she was going to give Stacie a run for her money. One Saturday afternoon while out with the girls, Beca finally spilled the beans after being pressed hard about her sex life. Aubrey spat her water everywhere, Chloe nearly choked on her Martini, Stacie winked, and Fat Amy scoffed, making a comment about always having to watch out for the quiet ones. Awkwardly, they all turned to Lily and stared.

Coming out of their bathroom after removing her make up and getting ready for bed, Beca found Jesse settled in bed working on a crossword puzzle. Feeling her presence, he lowered the paper and found her standing at the edge of the bed in a gray, silk negligee with lace trim, and slits up the sides. Raising her eyebrows suggestively, she climbed into the bed and crawled over to Jesse, straddling his waist and staring down at him.

"Damn." It was all he could think to say as all the blood left his brain and made its way down south.

Beca smiled, bringing her face mere inches from his. "You like what you see?" She whispered, her breath cool and tingling on his face.

Jesse nodded his head. "Oh yeah." He whispered, before leaning up to her and allowing his lips to connect with hers. The kiss was soft yet passionate, and she tasted of cool mint after having just brushed her teeth. His hands ran along her gloriously smooth legs and up to her thighs.

"No panties." He happily sighed against her lips.

Beca smiled into the kiss. "Why bother, they were just going to get wet again. One less thing to wash." She softly explained. She could feel him growing harder beneath her at the sound of her words.

Jesse groaned as she began to rock her hips against his, kissing his lips and holding his arms on either side of his head.

"Mmm...baby, don't stop, that feels incredible." He whispered as he freed his hands to pull her negligee up and massage her ass. Breathing heavily, Beca continued to move against him, pulling on his lower lip with her teeth, and breathing him in. The foreplay was intense, and she knew it wasn't going to take long for her to achieve her first orgasm of the night. The thought of having an explosive, toe curling, eye rolling, orgasm made her more aroused by the second.

"Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!"

Alex's cries rang out in the darkened room, signaling an imminent end to their activities.

Beca groaned. "No, not now, not now."

Jesse released her lips and began kissing up and down her neck as she sat up. "Maybe she'll fall back to sleep." He whispered, as his tongue lavished attention upon her. They both knew it was a shot in the dark. Beca moaned as she fisted his hair.

"I told you Beauty and the Beast was a bad idea, I told you she'd have nightmares." She whined.

"It's Beauty and the Beast, it's a classic." Jesse defended, his mouth showing no sign of stopping anytime soon.

They knew one of them had to get up and check on Alex. It was rare that she awoke in the middle of the night, so they knew something was definitely wrong. But that didn't stop Jesse's wandering hands from pulling Beca's straps down, allowing him better access to her breasts. The more he kneaded, pinched, and pawned at her, the more she moaned and rocked her hips.

"Jesse..." She sighed. It was a mix of pleasure and frustration.

"I'll go check on her, I'm going." He said, his lips returning to hers. Beca pulled back, breathing heavily and looked down at his erection.

"And explain that? It's okay, I'll go. I'll be back in ten minutes, just give me ten minutes."

"Ten minutes?" He questioned, his lips continuing to kiss hers.

"Ten minutes." She breathed against him, not ready to pull away yet. They were far past the point of no return, but what choice did they have?

His hands went to the back of her head, running his fingers through her hair. He moaned deeply, and Beca whimpered. She was right on the edge, one quick move an eighth of an inch forward, and she was there. But she couldn't, she felt too guilty and selfish. Alex's cries increased, calling out for her specifically, and Beca felt like a horrible mother for not immediately going to her. Finally, she climbed off of him. Her breathing was erratic, her chest flushed, and her body feeling like jelly. Readjusting her negligee, she ran her fingers through her hair and tried to relax her breathing.

"I can do this, I can do this." She assured herself as she grabbed her robe. It was time to switch into Mommy gear.

Across the hall, the room was dimly lit. A _Frozen_ night light casted a soft glow as Alex sat up in bed crying. Surrounded by stuffed animals, dolls, and pillows, the little girl looked impossibly tiny in the full sized bed.

"Baby it's okay, I'm right here, I'm right here." Beca assured her as she made her way into the room and over to her. Alex grabbed ahold of her mother's neck and climbed into her lap as tears streamed down her face. Struggling to breathe, she buried her face in her mother's neck.

"I've got you baby, you're safe, I promise. Mommy's right here."

"What t-t-took you so l-l-long?" Alex cried.

Beca paused briefly. "I was helping Daddy with something." Yeah, helping, that was one way of putting it. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Alex nodded. "The Beast, he had red eyes, and he was chasing me. I'm too small and I couldn't run fast enough."

Beca sighed and rubbed her daughter's back soothingly. She knew it had been a nightmare.

In typical Jesse Swanson fashion, he had been introducing Alex to what he called "Classic Disney" movies and getting her love of movies started as early as possible. Beca knew her daughter would of course love Belle, as the four year old had a mild obsession with princesses and fairy tales, but she worried about how she would react to some of the darker scenes. Jesse, however, assured her that she would be fine and that he would talk her through those parts and explain that it was just make believe. Yeah, she saw now how well that had worked out.

"He was going to eat me." Alex continued, still gripping Beca's neck tightly.

"No, baby, beasts don't eat people." Beca said soothingly. Alex lifted her head.

"What do they eat, then?"

Beca thought about it for a minute. "They eat cheeseburgers, and french fries." She said, matter of factly. Alex giggled, seeming to calm down a bit.

"Alright sweet girl, you need to try and go back to sleep. It's still the middle of the night and we have a full day tomorrow at Aunt CeeCee's and Uncle Scott's." Beca explained, laying her back down into the bed. Alex adored Stacie, though when she was first learning to talk, could never seem to pronounce Stacie, it always came out instead, CeeCee, which Stacie loved, so the name had stuck.

"Don't leave me!" Alex begged, her big blue eyes full of fear and staring back at Beca. "Where's Daddy? I wanna sleep in your bed."

Jesse and Beca were adamant when it came to rules regarding sleeping arrangements. In the four years since Alex had arrived, she had slept in Beca and Jesse's bed just one time, when she was three years old and had come down with a horrible stomach virus and couldn't stop vomiting. Beca had felt horrible for her, and couldn't bare to be away from her. Other than that, the child slept in her own big girl bed, in her own big girl room. It was made clear from the beginning that Alex would not sleep with them. As much as Beca would have loved it at times, she knew if they started that habit, it would take years to break it. Luckily, Alex was extremely good about sleeping through the night, so it had never been a problem.

"Daddy's sleeping sweetie." Beca fibbed. "He's in his bed, and you're in your bed. But you'll see him in the morning."

"Please stay with me, just until I fall asleep. What if the beast comes back? I _need_ you Mommy." Alex pleaded. Beca was a sucker when it came to her daughter's heartfelt pleas, and she couldn't turn her down. Tucking her back under the covers, Beca laid next to her. "Okay, it's alright, I'm not going anywhere." She assured her. "Close your eyes, I'm right here."

Alex rested her head on Beca's chest and wrapped her arms around her waist. Beca kissed her forehead and softly stroked her hair soothingly. Beca was raising her daughter to be independent and self sufficient, but she had to admit, she loved these moments when they cuddled up together.

Jesse laid in bed, twiddling his thumbs. Glancing over at the clock, it was 11:35PM. Over twenty minutes since Beca had left the room. Sighing, he pulled back the covers, threw on a pair of sweatpants and made his way to check on his girls. Walking across the hall, he peaked into his daughter's room which was softly lit up in pink and purple from the night light.

Adjusting to the light, his eyes finally settled on the bed to find Beca and Alex, curled up against each other, fast asleep.

Jesse smiled as he stood in the doorway and witnessed one of the most beautiful sights he'd ever seen. Beca's body was wrapped lovingly and protectively around Alex's tiny body. Alex's head rested peacefully on her mother's chest. Their breathing was even and perfectly in sync. He didn't have the heart to wake her. While he wanted her in the worst way, he knew she needed her sleep. In the morning, he knew she would apologize before telling him that's what he got for allowing Alex to watch _Beauty and the Beast_ when she specifically told him not to.

Before leaving the room, he pulled the blankets a little higher and kissed both of them on the head. As he walked out, he whispered, "I love you both. Sweet dreams my angels."

Gently, he closed the door so he wouldn't disturb them, then walked across the hall to their bedroom. He climbed back into bed and turned the light off, glancing over at their family picture on the nightstand. Jesse had everything he wanted in life, and despite the challenges that parenthood brought, he loved this journey.


	2. My precious one

**A big thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. I hope you love it as much as I do!**

 **Bekah-Thank you for staying up with me til the wee hours of the morning bouncing ideas and for never giving up on me :)**

* * *

Beca shifted slightly as her body began to wake up. Bright light flooded into the bedroom through the blinds as the birds chirped away on a beautiful Sunday morning.

Opening her eyes and adjusting to her surroundings, Beca looked around. Alex was fast asleep, cradled against her chest, breathing in and out softly. Glancing over at the clock, it was 6:34AM.

Shit, she had fallen asleep.

Slowly and nervously, she peeled Alex off of her, careful not to wake her; it was still far too early for her to be awake. She kissed Alex on the forehead then slowly she made her way across the room, taking one last peek at her sleeping daughter before quietly closing the door.

When she entered their bedroom, Jesse was fast asleep and apparently hadn't missed her very much since he was sprawled out across the bed haphazardly. It was rare that they slept in separate beds but when they did Jesse always managed to take up the entire bed.

With the covers half over him, she watched as he slept in just a pair of boxer briefs. His bare back was exposed and she marveled at his defined muscles.

She slowly crawled from the foot of the bed to the center and straddled Jesse. She thought it would be enough to wake him, but no such luck. He sucked in a deep breath as Beca's hands rubbed his back. Slowly, his eyes fluttered and opened fully. He lifted his head and turned to look at her.

"I told you not to let her watch Beauty and the Beast." She reminded him as she placed light butterfly kisses on his back.

Jesse quickly flipped over and Beca lowered herself onto his stomach as they came to lay in the exact same position from the night before. Jesse gave her his signature Swanson smile, and then began running his hands up and down her legs.

"Okay, I can admit it, you were right."

Beca sighed happily. "Ahh, the three words every woman dreams of hearing from her man."

Jesse laughed, and adjusted more fullly to being awake, his thumbs rubbing circles on the tops of her thighs.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep last night." She apologized genuinely.

He shook his head. "It's okay, really."

Smiling, she took his hand and pulled him up out of the bed. "Come on, I need a shower, and I can make up for last night..."

* * *

Alex climbed out of bed and wandered sleepily to her bathroom to potty, brush her teeth, and wash her hands and face. "Mommy!" She called as she made her way down the hall, her feet pitter pattering against the hardwood floor. Pausing as she stood before Jesse and Beca's closed bedroom door, she heard her mother's phone ringing. Alex knew the rule about not being in her parent's bedroom by herself but debated the situation. She could hear the shower running, and decided that if she didn't answer the phone, no one would. Pushing the door open and walking in, she walked over to the nightstand on her mother's side of the bed and noticed her grandmother's face lighting up the screen.

"Hi Mimi!" She answered cheerfully. Julie paused for a moment, temporarily caught off guard when she had been expecting Beca to answer.

"Hi sweet girl! How are you this morning?" She asked, adjusting to having her granddaughter on the phone.

Alex made herself comfortable as she climbed up onto the bed and settled into the pillows. "I'm good, I miss you!"

"I miss you too angel. Listen, is mommy available? I just need to talk to her real quick." Julie asked. Alex looked around the room. Clothing was discarded on the floor, books were on the nightstand, and there were a pair of jeans laid out on the bed. But nope, no mommy. So, she made assumptions.

"No, she's in the shower."

"Oh, okay then, no worries. What about daddy? Is he around?"

Alex could hear what sounded like crying, or possibly laughter, coming from the bathroom, and both Mommy and Daddy talking. She shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm pretty sure he's in the shower with her." She answered simply, causing Julie to laugh.

"Okay then, that's fine. When one of them comes out, will you have them call me and Pop?" She asked. Alex agreed, she told her Mimi that she loved her, and hung up the phone, then climbed out of the bed. Walking over into Beca's walk in closet, Alex ran her tiny hand over the clothes she could reach. She was amazed at the sheer amount of clothes and shoes her mother owned. While she had yet to figure out exactly what her mother did for work, she looked up to her, and dreamed of being just like her when she grew up.

Alex walked back out of the closet, closing the door behind her. Deciding that she was hungry, she made her way downstairs into the kitchen. She persued the contents of the pantry trying to decide what she wanted. Finally deciding on powdered donuts, she grabbed the bag and closed the pantry door before making her way to the fridge. Her favorite organic chocolate milk was conveniently located on the door.

Satisfied with her breakfast, she carefully made her way back upstairs to her parents room. Sitting on the center of the bed, she put her straw through the carton of milk and pointed the remote at the tv. She knew her favorite show, Sofia the First, was on Disney Jr at this time. Alex was all snuggled in with her breakfast when Beca came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel with Jesse closely trailing behind her. Noting Alex in their bed, Beca was startled, and jumped, nearly dropping her towel to the floor.

"Alex!"

Alex's blue eyes looked up to meet Beca's, and she apologized for being in the room, explaining the phone call, causing Jesse to become visibly embarrassed. Beca looked at him.

"Does this mean were going to have to explain to your parents that Alex didn't get here through osmosis?" Beca deadpanned, causing Jesse to roll his eyes.

"Babe we've been married for four years, I'd be more concerned if they thought we weren't having sex." He answered.

Alex looked up. "What's sex?"

Jesse and Beca glanced at each other. "A conversation for another day." Beca replied. "Come on baby, get up, we gotta get dressed. By the way, donuts and chocolate milk is not a suitable breakfast, so be thinking of what you want mommy to make you."

"But...it's 'ganic!" Alex defended.

* * *

"Can we listen to the Fuck you up song?" Alex asked. Jesse nearly crashed the car as Beca began coughing heavily when her coffee unexpectedly went down the wrong way.

The trio was headed to Stacie and Scott's for a barbecue, and Beca was looking forward to spending the day relaxing with her closest friends.

"The _what_ song?!" Jesse practically screamed.

Alex for the life of her couldn't understand why her question had caused such a commotion. "The Fuck you up song. You know, Uptown fuck you up, uptown fuck you up." She sang.

"Funk! Funk, baby girl, not Fuck. Funk." Beca immediately corrected.

"Oh, yeah, that one!"

Jesse adjusted the stereo as he glanced over to Beca. "She's four, shouldn't she be listening The Wiggles or something equally as irritating?"

Beca chuckled softly. "But then she wouldn't be our daughter."

Pulling into the driveway of Stacie's Stamford, Connecticut home, about a thirty minute drive from Jesse and Beca's, Alex was anxious to get out of the BMW. Truth be told, the Swanson family was not hurting financially by any stretch of the imagination. And though they made a point to not live an overly extravagant lifestyle, Beca's BMW CRV had been a gift to herself when she realized she had finally made it in her career; and that car, was her second baby. And while Jesse drove a Volvo, which was equally as nice and just as comfortable, they both preferred the BMW.

"Aunt CeeCee!" Alex yelled as she wiggled out of Beca's arms; running to Stacie the minute her tiny feet hit the ground.

"Hey baby girl!" Stacie called out as she kneeled down and opened her arms wide.

Alex quickly jumped into her loving aunt's waiting arms. She wrapped her arms and legs tightly around Stacie's neck and waist, causing her to choke a little. When she was finally able to peel the little spider monkey off her she realized what shirt Alex had on. It was the " _My awesome_ _Aunt and I got in trouble today_." shirt that Chloe had bought for her.

Alex had far too many pseudo Aunts to have a single favorite, but Chloe was her Godmother, and Stacie and Beca worked together. Stacie was one of the best hair and makeup artists Columbia had. Alex simply loved and lived for the days when she got to go to work with Beca because it meant an afternoon of playing dress up with Aunt CeeCee. Alex had a tighter bond with the two aforementioned women if for no other reason than she saw them more than the rest, but each of her Aunts had an impact on her upbringing. While Jesse and Beca were responsible for her care and well being, their friends were extremely close and involved.

Chloe taught Alex all about fashion and shopping. She loved to spoil her with shopping trips in the City, mani/pedi's and all the things her parents told her she couldn't have. Stacie's love and passion was hair and makeup, even if Beca and Jesse said Alex was too young for it. Still, Alex loved sleepovers with Aunt CeeCee because she would allow Alex to get into her makeup kit and play with sparkly eye shadows and lip glosses, foundation and blush. This, of course, was their little secret.

Aubrey was the resident broadway guru. She was always getting Alex tickets to new shows and what was even more exciting was the time when Aubrey was able to score backstage passes. Alex's squeals alone were more than 'thank you' enough.

Amy was all about teaching Alex to "Kick ass and take names." She often reminded her that she was a special little girl, and not to let anyone push her around.

Ashley, the school teacher, was always on hand to color with Alex and work with her on her letters and numbers. With Ashley's help, Alex would be on her way to advanced classes as well as the gifted and talented program at the local elementary school. Alex was special, and picked up on things very quickly. She was smart as a whip, and just as quick too.

Cynthia Rose bestowed upon Alex a strong sense feminism and killer dance moves while Jessica worked with her on singing. Last, but most certainly not least, came Lily, who was more than happy to share with her her love of yoga and meditation.

Each woman had a purpose in her life, and each woman was loved intensely and admired by Alex. With these women in her life and in her corner, Alex was sure to be a force to be reckoned with. Beca and Jesse often said that they weren't sure the world was ready for the tiny, whirling, dervish.

"Hey Becs, did Mark call you?" Stacie asked as everyone made their way into the house.

"Yeah? I have to be in LA next week for some new talent they want to sign." Beca answered as she sat their bags down on the counter.

Stacie smiled. "That makes two of us. They wanna shoot a music video, so they need me for hair and makeup. You and me girl, were flying first class to LA. I told Mark to save some money and just book us a room together."

Beca was thrilled at the news. She hadn't been looking forward to spending most of the week alone. Her days were spent producing music and running after her very active four year old, so the idea of a quiet trip to LA was a little more than she could handle especially since she wasn't entirely sure that she wanted to be away from Alex for an entire week. Her mind immediately wandered to all of the things she was going to miss. Yes, Beca Mitchell-Swanson had turned into _that_ mom.

She and Stacie quickly began talking excitedly about all the things they were going to do. Beca's one request was that they make at least one trip to In N Out Burger. She wanted one of those juicy bacon cheeseburgers so bad that she could already smell the grease. Stacie took her iPhone out of her pocket and made a list of all the different things they wanted to see and do. They were going to make the best of the time away.

Jesse and Scott looked at each other nervously. "Our girls, together, in Los Angeles. Well this is gonna be great." Jesse mused as he took a sip of his beer.

"No shit dude!" Scott said. "Whose turn is it to have bail money ready?"

Stacie and Beca both rolled their eyes. Stacie was quick to remind the guys that she had calmed down quite a bit since leaving college, and was a mature, grown woman, months away from becoming a wife.

After catching the bouqet at Beca and Jesse's wedding, Stacie hadn't been the next to get married. As a matter of fact, she hadn't even been the second or third. Weddings seemed to be a constant theme since Beca and Jesse had gotten married.

In June 2014, Aubrey married Unicyle in a lavish full Catholic Mass ceremony in a historic Manhattan Church before they and their guests set sail through the Hudson river for an all night reception. In September 2014, Chloe wed Luke in a garden ceremony as the beautiful fall foliage set in through Connecticut. In August of 2015, Ashley married Michael in front of two hundred people. Beca's days seemed to constantly be filled with planning for someone's wedding. With Stacie and Scott set to marry in October, and Cynthia Rose having a commitment ceremony with her girlfriend, Callie, in July, that left Lily and Jessica, both of whom had recently gotten engaged, and were just sorting through dates. Yes, they were almost through with wedding fever, but that meant that they were onto the next stage in everyone's lives, babies.

As Beca and Stacie began setting things up outside for the barbecue, the sliding glass door opened and closed and Aubrey Wilken, 7 months pregnant, with twins, walked out onto the deck in a Lily Pulitzer maternity dress, with a covered dish in her hand.

"That better be store bought!" Stacie shouted as she opened umbrellas and set up food.

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is Thank you, Aubrey!"

Stacie smiled brightly. "You're seven months pregnant with twins Aubrey, you should be relaxing with your feet up." She reminded her as she took the dish and set it up on the table.

"Relax? I'm sorry, have you met my wife before?" Uni joked as he made his way out onto the deck with a Corona in hand. Laughing, he kissed Stacie on the cheek as the two exchanged pleasantries.

Before long, the music had kicked on, the grill was up and running, and everyone was together once again.

* * *

"Gentlemen." Bumper began, as he looked around at his "friends" "I have some news."

"What's that?" Michael asked, "John Mayer wants to sign you to his label?"

The guys laughed at Bumper's expense as he rolled his eyes and scoffed. "No. It's better than that, I, am going to be a father!"

Collectively, the guys groaned and muttered.

"Dude what? How?" Jesse questioned, causing everyone to whip their heads at him. "I mean, I get how, obviously, but no, the world does not need another you running around!"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, thank you. But yes, these little swimmers did their job! Big mama over there is due in January. It's going to be awesome and he will of course be aptly named, Bumper jr."

Donald took a swig of his beer. "Right, and when she comes out with a vagina?"

Bumper scoffed. "Duh, Bumpah."

"Dude." Scott pointed out, that's the same exact name."

"No, it's not. It's way more feminine. It's all in the accent bro, ahh...say it with me now, Bump-AH!"

For the rest of the day, Jesse could not get the image of Amy and Bumper together out of his head.

* * *

Beca deadpanned as Amy held up an ultrasound. "Amy, please tell me that's an echocardiogram."

"Beca! Hello, you of all people should recognize an ultrasound when you see one!"

"Oh God..."

"What kinda sick twisted shit is this?" Cynthia Rose questioned.

Lily glanced over. "I once delivered a baby gorilla in Vietnam, would you like me to be your obstetrician?"

"Oh come on you guys, you certainly didn't react this way when blondie told you she was knocked up!" Amy groaned.

"That's because Aubrey's...Aubrey. She could raise a Duggar size clan with her organization skills." Jessica pointed out. Aubrey's eyes widened as she put her hands on her belly.

"No, no. This is it. Right here. I am two and done, buy one get one free!"

"The way my man shoots his load, I'm hoping for twins myself." Amy said as she winked at Beca.

"And on that note, I'm gonna go grab a water!" Beca anounced as she bounced out of chair.

As she made her way back into the house, Beca nearly bumped into Chloe who was on her way outside.

"Oh, hey, there you are!" Beca exclaimed, as she hugged Chloe.

As the years went on, and as Beca learned to open up and trust, she grew to become more and more loving. Though she still kept herself guarded around strangers, Beca had released her walls around her family and friends, allowing herself to love, and to be loved in return.

Chloe's body was stiff against Beca's, and when the women pulled apart, Beca took notice of Chloe's blotchy face and red eyes. It was evident that she had been crying recently.

"Chlo, are you okay?" Beca asked. Chloe shrugged off her best friend's concern.

"I'm totally fine, it's just these God awful allergies is all. I swear they're going to be the death of me." She explained, faking a smile. Beca wasn't buying it, but didn't want to push her any further.

"Anyway, I'm glad you're here, I wanted to talk to you about possibly watching Alex for Jesse and I this week, I-"

Chloe immediately cut Beca off.

"I can't." She said harshly, looking off to the side. Beca was slightly off put, but she tried her best not to show it.

"Chloe you-"

"Look, Beca, I said I can't, okay! I'm sorry if you and Jesse screwed your schedules up but that's not my fault! We have a million different friends, can you not find someone else?!" Chloe yelled.

Beca was completely unsure of how to react. Chloe had never yelled at her before. Hell, Chloe had never yelled before period. Beca wasn't even sure if she knew how. Apparently, she did. Standing there dumbfounded, Chloe sighed.

"I shouldn't have even come today, this was a mistake. I have to go."

Beca tried to call after her, but it was useless. Chloe was on her heels and back into the house within seconds. Feeling like a complete idiot, she stood on the lawn, staring at the back of Stacie's house unable to move.

Ashley put her hand on Beca's back, forcing the brunette to finally turn around.

"Hey, not to evesdrop or anything, but I kind of overheard. Mike and I can take Alex if you need us to Bec." She offered, not bothering to mention Chloe's outburst. Beca sighed.

"Yeah, that would be great, Ashley, thank you. I was supposed to stay home with her this week, but my boss needs me in LA. I would drop her off Tuesday night, and Jesse would pick her up Friday night."

"Not a problem at all, we'll have a great time."

Beca and Ashley talked more about the week's plans as Amy made her way over with Alex.

"Uhh, Shawshank, little butt here isn't doing so well." Amy cut in. In her arms, Alex was pale and lethargic. Quickly, Beca took her daughter into her arms.

"Baby whats wrong, are you okay?" She asked. Alex shook her head.

"Mommy, I don't feel so good, Aunt Amy gave me too much." She explained. Trying to say more, she gave up and instead began to whimper and cry softly before throwing up all over Beca.

"Oh my God!" Beca yelled, startled by the sudden spewing of vomit.

Horrified, Beca stood still as she tried not to make any sudden moves. Alex was devestated, and began crying out her apologies.

"I throwed up on you Mommy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She softly cried. Beca whispered soothing words as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Somebody help, please, that would be fantastic."

Running over to her side, Jesse gently lifted Alex out of Beca's arms as Beca stood there, covered in vomit. It was in her hair, down her chest, down her back, and all across her clothes. Stacie came over to her side and helped her inside to get cleaned up.

Putting an arm around Amy's shoulder, Cynthia Rose smiled. "Welcome to motherhood Ames, this is only the beginning."

* * *

Beca stood at the doorframe, and watched as Alex slept. After a bath at Stacie's, fifteen hundred apologies, a fresh set of pajamas, and a stern lecture to Aunt Amy for allowing her to have five cupcakes, Alex was feeling much better.

And as Beca stood at the door, watching her child sleep, her heart was heavy.

Four years had seemingly passed in the blink of an eye. Beca thought back to the beginning. She thought back to how it felt to almost lose her, the feeling tugging at her heart strings. Always, in the back of her mind, was the thought that at any given moment, she could lose her. She thought about those first flutters of movement, and her first kicks. Beca remembered the breastfeeding, the sleepless nights, the first time Alex ever smiled at her. Beca had never before been a sentimental person, but motherhood had changed all of that in an instant. Alex was in her every waking thoughts. All Beca wanted was for her to be happy and healthy.

Beca remembered fondly her baby's firsts steps, her first word, and the surreal feeling she gets every time Alex looks up at her and tells her how much she loves her.

Beca would miss her daughter more than anything this week, and as she watched her sleep, she knew without a doubt in her mind, there was no one in this world who could possibly love Alex more than she did, no matter how many times she threw up on her.

Walking over to her bed, Beca pulled the covers up around her and kissed her forehead.

"Mommy loves you Alexandra, always."

* * *

Climbing into bed, Beca laid still, staring up at the ceiling, arms crossed and lips pursed together. Jesse knew she wasn't ready to let this go. Sighing, he put his book down and looked over at her.

"Bec..."

"Why couldn't she agree to keep Alex for ue?" Beca asked, her voice heavy with frustration.

"Babe, I don't know. Maybe she had something come up, maybe she's got something going on that she can't talk to you about." Jesse suggested, trying his hardest to be sympathetic. Beca flipped over onto her side and faced him.

"Chloe tells me everything! She's way more likely to overshare than undershare. For Gods sake, one of the first times I met her was when she barged in on me, naked, in the shower!" Beca huffed. "Jesse, I know what I saw today. Chloe was crying when she got to Stacie's. It wasn't allergies like she tried to get us all to believe. When I asked her to watch Alex while we're out of town, she immediately said no. She never even thought about it. That's unlike her. She usually jumps at the chance to keep Alex for a few days. Something is defintely up." Beca explained.

"I'm sorry she was harsh with you today, I know that's not how she usually is. All I can tell you is to give her some space, she'll come around eventually. Just try and rest Bec, this is not something you should be worrying about. I'm sure Chloe just had a bad day, tomorrow, she'll call and apologize." Jesse said, as he pulled Beca into his arms.

Wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest, she sighed. "I hope you're right."

Jesse turned the light out, and kissed her on the forehead. "Sleep Bec, we'll talk about it in the morning."


	3. Speakers

***Pitch Perfect 3 is officially green lit, and I could not possibly be more excited. We are overdue for more Jeca scenes, and I hope they deliver!**

 **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. When I want to just bang my head against the keyboard and give up, you keep me going.**

 **Bekah, my Beta, none of this would be possible without you. You work just as hard if not harder than me to make sure that everything is perfect. For that, I thank you.**

 **Hope you enjoy it! If you're looking to get in tocuh with more Jeca fans, consider joining us over on Twitter! You can follow me Sarcasticbella**

* * *

Jesse groaned at the shrill sound of the alarm clock going off right by his ear. Six o'clock always came way too early, especially on Monday mornings. Shifting in bed, he could feel the lack of Beca's presence next to him. Opening his eyes, he glanced over to her empty side of the bed; the blankets straightened and the pillows fluffed. He could hear her moving around downstairs, and the smell of bacon began to infiltrate his senses. Throwing a t-shirt on, he headed into the bathroom to brush his teeth before heading downstairs.

Beca stood in the kitchen wearing a pair of tight yoga pants that hugged her lower half in just the right places, and one of Jesse's Treblemakers T-Shirts; her hair was thrown haphazardly into a messy bun. She sipped her first cup of coffee of the day as she happily flipped blueberry pancakes and checked on the bacon.

Sleepily, Jesse made his way down the stairs, and across the house to the kitchen. He stopped briefly to take in the sight of her before walking over and wrapping his arms loosely around her waist. He lowered his head to plant sweet kisses at the nape of her neck as his hands slipped underneath her shirt and rubbed against her flat stomach.

"Mmm...if you make me burn breakfast, I will not be happy." She groaned as Jesse smiled, and rested his head against her shoulder.

"Let's see, it's not _your_ birthday, it's not _my_ birthday, and it's not _Alex's_ birthday, it's not our anniversary; yet you're up at 6am. You don't make blueberry pancakes and bacon for just anything." He pointed out. "So what's the occasion?" Beca smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I just wanted to do something nice for a change."

She turned off the stove, gathered the pancakes and bacon onto plates before making her way to the table. She carefully laid the plates on the center of the table next to the orange juice and fresh fruit that were already there. Jesse made himself a cup of coffee, then collected the syrup and butter from the fridge before joining his wife for breakfast.

They had been married for almost four years. Jesse prided himself on the fact that he knew Beca better than she knew herself. He knew when to push her to talk, and when to just give her some space. He knew her moods, her habits, how she liked her coffee, and had her body perfectly memorized and mapped out. On this particular morning though, he knew she wanted to talk, but he had no idea what the topic would be. Between work, Alex, and life in general, their alone time was usually limited to their bed and the hour or so before they fell asleep, curled up in each others arms. So If Beca was getting up at six o'clock on a Monday to make a big breakfast, it was because she needed to talk about something important.

Beca was quiet, too quiet for Jesse's liking, as she ate her food and sipped her coffee. Jesse took a gulp of his orange juice, dabbed his mouth with his napkin, and cleared his throat. "Alright, come on, talk to me. I know you need to."

She swirled the syrup around on her plate with her fork and smiled. "You know me too well."

Jesse chuckled softly. "It's something I pride myself on. You know you can tell me anything, let's talk."

Beca got up out of her chair and walked over to sit in Jesse's lap. Slightly confused, he welcomed her body into his arms none the less. Beca looked deeply into his eyes as he rubbed her cheek with his knuckles. Leaning forward, she snaked her arms around his neck and captured his lips into a soft kiss.

Pulling back quite suddenly, she cast a quick glance at his plate before stealing his last piece of bacon. As she took a bite, Jesse chuckled and asked "So you came over here just to steal my bacon?"

"Nuh uh" She said, shaking her head before mumbling something inaudible.

"Sorry babe, I didn't hear you. What did you say?" He questioned, causing Beca to sigh.

"I'm thinking about getting my IUD removed." she said once more, slightly louder as she turned to straddle his lap.

The IUD. Beca had it placed at her postnatal appointment when Alex was six weeks old. It was good for up to five years, and luckily, Beca hadn't had any pregnancy scares since. As much as they would've loved to give Alex a sibling earlier on, the timing just wasn't right. They both had careers that they needed to build, and they both wanted Alex to enjoy being an only child for a few years. While there was never a 'right time' to have another baby, Alex was four now and Beca and Jesse were now somewhat settled into their careers. Now seemed to be a good time to broach the subject of adding to their family.

Beca knew it was a big step, and thinking about it only made her more and more nervous. She had never planned a pregnancy before, as Alex just sort of happened unexpectedly. While Beca worried about how she would be able to love two children, and evenly distribute herself, she also missed having a baby in the house. Beca had always longed for a sibling, and she was desperate to give that gift to Alex.

"Hey." Jesse said, taking her out of her thoughts. "I'm ready when you are. I would love nothing more than to see the sweet swell of your belly again. You're the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world."

"Are you sure you're ready for this? Alex is pretty independent, and we would be starting all over again." Beca reminded.

"I'm ready, I remember what it's like, and I'm ready. Are you ready?"

Beca shook her head. "If I'm honest, no, but then I don't think I'll ever be fully ready."

He looked deep into her eyes, willing her to share the rest of what was on her mind. Beca Mitchell-Swanson hated feeling vulnerable and exposed, but she knew that certain conversations were unavoidable.

His hands skimmed along her side, as he rubbed his nose against hers, his lips mere centimeters from hers.

"So, when do I get to give you another baby?" He whispered. Jesse was fully attuned with Beca's body, and he knew she was heating up. Her breathing hitched, and goosebumps danced across her arms.

"I'll make an appointment for after I get back from LA." She answered and Jesse nodded his head before leaning up to meet her lips and kissing her.

He longed to kiss her, always. Being connected with her, was like coming home for him. Pulling on her bottom lip, his hand fumbled with the bottom of her t-shirt, trying to find an opening before finally slipping its way inside to massage her breast. Beca hissed with pleasure. Jesse knew that Beca's breasts were extremely sensitive. If he wanted to get her in the mood, this was the place to start.

"Mmm...we can't...we can't do this right now." She breathed through their kisses, though her body said differently as her hips rubbed against his.

"It's only 6:30 and Alex is still asleep. You know she doesn't usually wake up til 8." Jesse reminded her. He wasn't about to stop this, not now. He wanted her badly, and he knew Beca wanted him just as much. Slipping his free hand inside her shirt and finding her other breast, she closed her eyes as her body betrayed her and the overpowering sensations hit her breasts, her legs, her belly, her core. Okay, maybe she did need this.

"Consider it practice." Jesse groaned as he nibbled Beca's ear.

He lifted her up into his arms. Carrying Beca was like carrying a stack of newspapers, completely effortless. Slowly, he laid her down on the couch, her back hitting the pillows, before throwing his shirt off and climbing on top of her.

Their eyes said everything their mouths could not. They were happy and in love, and they only wanted each other.

Lowering his head down to hers, her hands raked up his bare sides as she kissed his lips with a desperation.

"We don't have much time, so this is gonna have to be quick." She explained, her chest heaving. Jesse's hands reached for her shirt but she stopped him. "No, if she comes downstairs, we're going to have to scramble for clothes. We can explain you being shirtless,me, not so much."

Jesse's lips returned to hers, not in the mood to talk at the moment. He wanted all of her this morning, he wanted to taste her, breathe her, and worship her body. He hated that it had to be rushed.

Pulling her pants off of her body, he could feel her arousal was already beginning to pool. He didn't want to hurt her, or be too rough. It was one of the many reasons they hadn't had many quickies, he hated rushing her and being in her before she was ready. With two fingers, he began to rub slow circles on her clit to warm her body up for his. She buried her face into a pillow to stifle the moan that escaped her lips. He pulled the pillow from her face.

"I wanna see you." He whispered, as he kissed her cheek.

They knew each others bodies, knew which buttons to press, and which sighs meant what. She was vocal, always had been, and Jesse loved it. Unfortunately, having a child in the house often required them to be quiet.

Beca's hips bucked upward, trying desperately to get some friction.

"Are you ready?" He asked her. She nodded her head, and using her feet, pushed his boxers down, there was no question whether or not he was ready. Taking him in her hand, he watched as she pumped him a few times before guiding him into her body.

Pushing into her, he gently bit down on her neck to stifle a moan as Beca's head fell back, exposing more of her neck. His lips trailed kisses up and down, sucking on her pulse point.

They quickly fell into a rhythm, he was pushing hard and fast into her, and she was giving just as good as she got. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him into her as deep as he would go.

Repeatedly, he hit her g-spot, and watched with great satisfaction as he saw her come undone. Her chest and cheeks became flushed, and she could no longer keep her eyes open as she panted heavily, her head swimming with intense pleasure. Reaching down, his fingers returned to her clit to aid her along, knowing it would finish her off.

Suddenly, her eyes flew open, and he could feel her muscles begin to tighten around him. He smiled, feeling a sense of intense pride at what he was doing to her.

Beca's hands left Jesse's side and reached up to her breasts to pinch at her nipples as she came hard, her mouth falling open as she silently screamed.

Though he couldn't see her breasts through the oversized t-shirt she had on, he knew what she was doing, and it was enough to finish him. Groaning into her neck, he spilled into her, feeling totally spent and satisfied. Every time was just as good as the last.

They laid together on the couch, trying to catch their breath. Jesse's head was still in Beca's neck as she began to speak.

"Have I ever told you that you're a cocky asshole?"

Jesse laughed into her hair before lifting his face to look at her. "I'm sorry, did you not like the service I just provided for you?"

She rolled her eyes. "I hate you."

"Really? You hate me, and _that's_ what you just did with me? Damn, I can only imagine what you do for the people you love."

* * *

The couch wasn't exactly Beca's first choice for sex locations, and her legs were seriously paying for it. She laid on top of Jesse, unable to will her body to get up. Her legs were sore in the most delicious way. Laying in silence, he stroked her hair as she sighed in content.

"Who is texting you at 7:30 in the morning?" Jesse groaned as Beca's phone dinged.

Beca huffed as she grabbed blindly for her cell phone and read the text message. "It's Aubrey, she's letting me know she got Alex and I tickets for Aladdin tonight. I would have preferred Matilda, but they had an age restriction, nobody under the age of six."

"Have I told you lately what an amazing mother you are?"

Beca scrunched up her nose. "Mmm, maybe once or twice."

"You're incredible, Alex is damn lucky."

As if on cue, the pitter patter of little feet could be heard coming down the stairs. In a _Frozen_ nightie, and clutching a teddy bear that Lily had gotten her for her birthday, Alex made her way into the living room to find Beca and Jesse dressed and cuddling on the couch.

"Hey there sleepy head." Jesse greeted. Alex, still waking up, silently made her way over to the couch and climbed up, joining her parents.

Beca kissed her forehead and ran her fingers through her hair. Together, the three of them laid on the couch as a family, and for a brief moment, life was perfect.

Jesse wished he could have paused life for just a brief moment. Laying with his wife and daughter, and knowing that he and Beca were soon going to have another one on the way, he was lost in happiness. But alas, life couldn't be paused and Jesse needed to shower and finish up reports before he left for New York the next day.

"Alright girls, as much as Daddy wishes we could stay here forever, I have to shower." He mentioned.

Beca and Alex sat up and Jesse scooted out from underneath. He gave a quick kiss to Beca on the lips and Alex on the forehead before heading upstairs.

Alex turned to face Beca. "Are you going with him?"

"What?"

"Daddy's going to shower, aren't you going to go with him?" She asked again, with the innocence of a small child. Beca chuckled.

"No, not this time, I'm going to shower after Daddy. Come on, you have breakfast waiting and we have a full day planned in New York so we have to get dressed."

Alex raised her arms, motioning for Beca to carry her. As she lifted her daughter up into her arms, Alex wrapped her arms around Beca's neck.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Beca smiled. "I love you too, Alex."

* * *

Beca hated New York traffic, especially in the summer. People were flipping people off, not using blinkers, swerving in and out of lanes, and trying to fly through the George Washington Bridge at 75 miles an hour.

Sitting in the back seat, Alex was working on her Leap Pad, completely oblivious to Beca's stress of trying not to get into an accident.

"Hey, Mommy?" She asked.

Beca took a breath, trying not to stress the traffic. "Yes, Alex?"

"Aunt Chloe is still coming to my dance recital, right?"

Beca paused, not sure how to answer. She still had yet to hear from Chloe since she blew up on her and stormed off, but this was Alex's very first dance recital. Jessica owned a studio in town, and Alex had been desperate to sign up for classes. Beca and Jesse had enrolled her in tap and jazz summer classes to see if it was something she would want to do on a full time basis. The recital was at the end of August, and Alex was chomping at the bit to get her chance on a stage. Whatever Chloe's deal was, surely she wouldn't let it affect Alex in any way.

"Of course she will, Aunt Chloe wouldn't miss it for the world." She answered, trying to convince herself at the same time.

Satisfied with the answer her mother gave her, Alex went back to her game as Beca attempted to navigate through the streets of Manhattan.

Finally making it through the late morning traffic of Madison Avenue, they pulled into the parking garage. Alex watched as Beca pulled a badge out and scanned it through the reader. The large striped barrier went up, allowing the car through.

"Where are we?" Alex asked.

"We, are parking in Mommy's work garage so we don't have to fight for a parking spot on the street." Beca explained as she pulled in and put the car in park.

Columbia Records was located in a skyrise building along Madison Avenue, an area of Manhattan that was always bustling no matter the time of day. Coming out of the parking garage, the sun hit them, and the noise level erupted. Taxi's were blaring their horns, business men yelled at people through their cell phones, musicians played music on the streets, and vendors sold food and drinks on the street corners. Yes, they had arrived in New York, no doubt about it.

"C'mere baby." Beca said as she picked Alex up. The sheer amount of people swarming around them put Beca on edge, and she needed to know she had a good grip on her child.

"Mommy, can I see where you work?" Alex asked.

"Don't you want to go get ice cream and play in the park?" Beca replied, referring to their original plan.

"Yeah, but can we see your work first?"

Though she didn't really want to be going into the office on her day off, Beca didn't see the harm if it was really what Alex wanted to do.

"Sure, let's go to work." She answered.

Walking around the block, Alex looked up at the big building in front of her that seemed to stretch endlessly into the sky. It was massive, and she felt incredibly tiny next to it.

Beca opened the door and walked into the building, the air conditioning hitting them instantly. Putting Alex down, she took her hand and walked up to the security desk.

"Mrs. Swanson, well, I certainly wasn't expecting to see you today." The security guard greeted. An older gentleman, slightly overweight, with white hair and glasses, Dave Ralston was a kind man who had been Columbia's head of security for over forty years. He had met the best of them, and knew everyone on staff by name.

"Wasn't exactly on our agenda today, but somebody wanted to see what I do around here." Beca explained as she looked down at Alex. "But I left my card in the car, can I get a guest pass?"

"Well, absolutely." He said as he wrote one out quickly and handed it to Alex to hold.

"And what's your name sweet girl?"

"Alexandra Kate Swanson." Alex replied, giving her full name. Dave smiled.

"She's a doll Beca, looks just like you."

"Thanks Dave, and thanks for your help. I'll see you again next week when I'm back from L.A"

"I'll be here!" He answered.

Scanning the badge, Beca and Alex walked through security, grabbed their things, and headed into the elevators.

Alex was mesmerized as they walked through the hall. Platinum records lined the walls in glass cases and autographed pictures were everywhere.

"Mommy, is that you?" Alex asked, pointing to a black and white picture of Beca in the recording studio with John Legend. Beca was sitting a chair, with her headphones wrapped around her neck. She and John both had thumbs up. The autograph read _"Beca-Couldn't have done it without you" J. Legend._

"Yeah, that's me." She answered, unable to stop the smile that spread across her face. Beca regarded her job as a music producer for Columbia as one of her greatest accomplishments. She had worked her ass off to get where she was, and though it hadn't been easy, and sometimes required time away from Jesse and Alex, it had been worth it. She may have been the youngest music producer to ever be signed to the company at the tender age of 23, but she had earned the respect of her colleagues. Beca Mitchell-Swanson was one of the best and most sought after producers Columbia had and was known for her ability to blend sounds in just the right way, and push artists to give their best work without coming off as a bitch.

The doors to the elevator opened wide, and Beca had Alex press the button for the 25th floor. As the pings signaled their journey up, Alex tugged on Beca's flower print sweater.

"Mommy, are you a really important person here?"

Beca smirked. "Something like that."

The doors opened and the girls stepped out onto the floor. As it always was, the phone was ringing incessantly.

"Columbia Records, please hold. Columbia Records please hold, Columbia Records please hold."

Haley, Columbia's secretary, was worthless, and Beca was convinced that even Alex could do her job better than she could. Reading the latest Danielle Steele novel, chewing gum, and filing her nails, she barely batted an eye when Alex and Beca walked into the room.

"Columbia Records please hold, Columbia records, please hold..." And on it went.

Beca opened the glass door and walked down the hall hand in hand with Alex.

"Hold the phones! I know that's not you struttin' your cute butt in here on your day off!"

Beca stopped. She didn't even have to see his face to recognize the voice of her flamboyant personal assistant, Damian. Dressed to the nines, in a pair of dark wash jeans, a black vest, black tie, and white button down shirt, Damian was 22 years old, and juggling grad school at NYU while assisting Beca in whatever she needed throughout the day.

"Hold the phones? What else would Haley be doing?" Beca replied, with a smile as she turned around.

Damian rolled his eyes and huffed. "Oh don't even get me started with that one. How that girl still manages to have a job is beyond me. I guess that boob job really payed off. She's lucky Mark goes for blondes."

Mark Lazazzero, Beca's boss, was 54 years old, and on his fourth marriage with a woman barely pushing thirty. And while Beca didn't necessarily agree with his lifestyle, it wasn't her place to judge. Mark was easy to work for, treated her respectfully, and never once tried to hit on her.

"Anyway, you still haven't answered my question, which was ' _what the hell are you doing here, it's your day off.'_ Shouldn't you be spending the day at some spa getting a massage and a mani/pedi?" Damian continued, earning an instant glare from Beca that he should have known was coming.

"Right, of course, you don't do spa's. I'm sure there's a bar somewhere around here with your's, Stacie's, and Chloe's names on it."

Beca rolled her eyes. "Hilarious. If you must know, I'm spending the day with my daughter, thank you very much."

Damian looked down at Alex whose mousy brown hair was pulled into a half pony tail. She was dressed simply in a pair of light purple converse, jean shorts, and a purple flowered shirt.

"This cannot be the one and only Miss. Alexandra, I refuse to believe it." He declared. Alex flashed him a bright smile, loving the attention. "Your mommy talks an awful lot about you, I hear you're pretty special."

"Yup, I am!" She agreed, causing the adults to laugh.

Making their way into her office, Beca went over some paperwork that had been left for her from the week before.

"Hey who's got studio time today?" She asked Damian as she read over things.

"Oh my gosh! I about damn near forgot to tell you!" Damian shrieked. "Queen B herself is in the house this morning."

Beca's eyes widened as she dropped the paper. "Wait, what?! She's here, like _here_ , here?"

"Here, Here. In studio two. I'm sure the little princess would just love to see what a studio looks like." He said, with an added wink.

Beyonce' was, without a doubt, one of Columbia's biggest artists, and it was a huge deal whenever she arrived. While Beca had never formally met her, she admired her a great deal as both a person and a musician.

"Dude I cannot just barge on in there like I own the damn place." Beca pointed out.

"Look, I'm not supposed to be telling you this, but a little birdie told another little birdie who told me that the Queen herself is looking for someone to put together a mashup of her songs for the opening sequence while she's on tour." Damien explained.

"Beca, who do you really think they're going to ask?"

She was shell shocked, her big moment had arrived, and she had one shot to get it right, and with a four year old in tow no less.

"Okay, I can do this. I can so do this." She repeated, trying to convince herself.

"Yes, you can do this. You're Beca effin' Swanson, you've this in the bag." Damian assured her. Beca nodded as she took a breath and took Alex by the hand.

"Oh, and Beca?" Damian called, causing her to turn.

"Yeah?"

"You might want to cover up the hickey on your neck."

* * *

Standing at the window, Beca explained to Alex what was happening.

"This is how people make their music. They go into the studio and sing into the microphone while the producer makes sure everything sounds like it's supposed to."

"What do you do here?"

Beca pointed. "Do you see that man sitting in the chair with all those buttons in front of him?"

Alex nodded.

"That's what mommy does. I make sure that singers have their songs recorded exactly how they should. Or, sometimes, I have to take trips and find new singers to come sing for us, like I have to do this week."

Mark glanced over and saw Beca standing outside. Immediately he motioned for her to come inside. For the first time, Beca would be formally introduced to Beyonce. She had one chance to not completely fuck this up.

"Beyonce', Jay Z, allow me to introduce Beca Mitchell-Swanson, our newest music producer. She's done phenomenal work with Calvin Harris, and just helped complete John Legend's latest album scheduled for release this fall." Mark introduced.

"So nice to meet you both." Beca stated, shaking both of their hands.

"Bec, Beyonce is here working on some new stuff for next year's album." Mark continued.

Off by the sound board, Jay Z talked with Pharrell, working out some lyrics for a new song.

"I don't know if Fuck is the way to go, who knows what the radio is gonna replace that with." Jay pointed out.

"Funk." Alex stated. Horrified, Beca looked down at her. Alex stood there, staring straight ahead, as if nothing had just happened as Pharrell and Jay Z turned around.

"Funk. Mommy says we can't say Fuck." She clarified.

Beca immediately wrapped her hand around Alex's mouth and pulled her in close as everyone broke out into laughter.

"We've just been having a little bit of trouble understanding lyrics to _Uptown Funk_." Beca explained, feeling completely embarrassed. Alex was lucky she was cute and could pull stuff like this off.

Mark turned to face Beca. "Listen, great timing that you're here even though I'm pretty sure I gave you the day off. Anyway, Beyonce and I were just talking about approaching you for a possible mash up."

"I'm looking to have someone compose a mashup for us to be played at the start of my concerts before I come out on stage. I've heard you're the go to." Beyonce added, a beautiful thousand watt smile upon her face.

Beca tried to remain calm, despite the fact that she was standing in front of someone she perceived to be a goddess whose hair, makeup, and clothes were absolutely flawless. "Mashups yes, I-I, yes." She stuttered.

"Beyonce' chuckled. "Well great, do you have a minute to discuss some ideas? I'm sure Blu would love a playmate."

Beca looked over to see Jay Z and Beyonce's 5 year old daughter, sitting in a swivel chair, ipad in hand. Alex of course, didn't need to be asked twice. Walking right up to the girl, she introduced herself, and joined her in the chair. _Frozen_ had just begun.

* * *

Beca tried to wrap things up after thirty minutes of discussion, knowing that today was supposed to be Alex's day. As she gathered her things, and informed Alex they were getting ready to leave, Blu Ivy tugged on Beyonce's dress. "Momma, can Alex come play at our house? I really like her."

"Oh sweetie, that's really nice of you to ask, but I'm sure Alex and her Mommy already have plans." Beyonce gently explained.

It didn't take long for Alex to pipe up. "I wanna play!"

Beyonce smiled. "We would love to have you over, but if you already have plans for the day, it's totally understandable."

Beca could not believe they had just been invited to Beyonce and Jay Z's for a play date. She tried her best not to show her shock. "Well, we have tickets to see Aladdin tonight at six, but other than that, no real plans."

"Wonderful, let me get you our address, we can have some lunch and let the girls get to know each other."

Beca couldn't get her cell phone out fast enough as her hands flew across her iPhone, texting Jesse as quickly as possible.

 _To: That Weirdo_

 _Holy Fuck, Beyonce is here_

His response was instant.

 _From: That Weirdo_

 _Here? Here where?_

 _To: That Weirdo_

 _Columbia. She's in the recording studio_

 _From: That Weirdo_

 _Why are you at work?_

 _To: That Weirdo_

 _Alex wanted to see what I do, little did I know Beyonce had studio time. She's here with Jay Z and their daughter. They just invited us over for a play date._

Beca still could not believe what was happening at the moment.

 _From: That Weirdo_

 _They what?! How did I miss out on this? What's their daughter's name again? Green Envy? Purple Passion?_

 _To: That Weirdo_

 _It's Blu Ivy!_

 _From: That Weirdo_

 _Right, I knew there was a color involved somehow. Dude, this is big, this is life changing! Please make sure our daughter doesn't break anything, I would never live it down._

 _To: That Weirdo_

 _Really? You would never live it down?_

 _From: That Weirdo_

 _Yeah, I guess you would be the one taking the brunt of that. Call me afterwards, I want details!_

 _To: That Weirdo_

 _Will do. Oh, and by the way, thanks for the hickey! Remind me to kill you when I get home..._

* * *

Beca was exhausted by the time they pulled into the driveway at 10:45 that night. After lunch, swimming, and a full hour on the swing set, the girls had to wrap things up if they were to make it to Aladdin on time. Alex was bursting with energy, and already planning her next play date with Blu Ivy.

Aladdin had of course been a hit, and Alex had been mesmerized, but it was a full day. Ten minutes after being placed in her car seat, Alex was fast asleep.

Beca watched as Alex's chest rose and fell evenly. The child was of course precious, but even more so when she was asleep. She looked so peaceful, that Beca hated to have to move her. But as she couldn't spend the entire night in the car, there wasn't a choice.

Alex was completely unphased as Beca unstrapped her and lifted her out. She snuggled into her chest and wrapped her arms around Beca's neck as she carried her inside.

Jesse was in the living room, drinking a beer and watching a movie when she walked in through the garage door. Immediately, he got up and walked over to greet them.

"She must be exhausted." He whispered as he rubbed Alex's back. Beca nodded.

"She fell asleep almost instantly once I got her in the car. I'm not even going to bother to change her, she'll be fine to sleep in these clothes."

"Here, I'll take her, you relax."

Beca certainly wasn't going to pass up the offer, and shifted Alex over to Jesse who was again unphased by the exchange. If the child saw the light of day before 9am tomorrow, Beca was going to be amazed.

Heading up the stairs behind them, Beca made her way into their bedroom to change into a pair of Jesse's boxers and a t shirt she had gotten in Jamaica while on their honeymoon. After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she walked out to go check on Jesse and Alex.

Alex was asleep against Jesse's chest as he sang to her.

 _When you need me, just call my name_

 _'cause without you, my life just wouldn't be the same_

 _If you want me come sunny skies or rain_

 _When you need me, just call my name._

 _If you miss me, I'll be there to brush the sunlight from your hair_

 _I'll be there to guide you when trouble walks beside you_

 _If you need me, I'll be there_

 _And when this dirty world has been cold to you, I got two arms waiting to hold you_

 _And when those mean days come along, we'll stand together and we'll take 'em on._

 _So if you need me, just call my name._

Beca stood at the door frame, listening to the words. In that moment, she knew she had found the greatest man to share her life with and to father her children.

Sliding into the bedroom, she climbed into the bed and curled up next to Alex and Jesse.

"Thank you for being such an incredible Daddy." Beca whispered.

"Aren't you glad you passed up Guetta's offer?" Jesse deadpanned causing Beca to roll her eyes and shake her head.

"I love you, weirdo."

"I love you too, nerd."

Kissing her lightly on the lips, the trio settled in together, falling asleep wrapped up in each other's arms.


	4. Warm Water

**Thank you to everyone for your reviews! It always brightens my day to see that little notification pop up in my email. I devote a lot of time through out the week trying to get these chapters to where I want them, so your compliments are oh so appreciated.**

 **Bekah-What can i say that hasn't already been said? You're amazing.**

 **Enjoy everyone!**

* * *

The questions were incessant for the entire 25 minute drive.

"But who will take me to my dance class?" Alex asked.

"Aunt Ashley will, I've already let her know the day and time." Beca reassured her.

Beca and Jesse rarely had conflicting schedules, which made the need for overnight childcare a rare request. But with Jesse currently in New York meeting with executives from Touchstone, and Beca scheduled to leave for LA the next morning, they didn't have a choice. Alex needed a sitter. As a result, Alex was vying for some semblance of control over the situation, and needing to know exactly how everything was going to play out.

"Who will feed me?"

Beca looked at Alex through the rearview mirror. "What? Aunt Ashley and Uncle Mike will. They are fully capable of looking after you. I promise."

"Will I have my own bed?"

"Yes."

"Do they have ice cream?"

"I'm sure they do."

"Did you pack my nightlight? I'm scared of the dark."

Beca smiled slightly. It was as if Alex thought that her mother had forgotten this fact. "Yes, I packed the nightlight."

"Did you tell Aunt Ashley that I get a story at bedtime?"

"Yes, Alex."

"What happens if I have an accident when I'm sleeping?"

Beca thought it was an odd question for her daughter to ask. "Alex, you've been potty trained for two years. You have never had an accident."

"But what if I wake up at night and forget where the bathroom is? Then I have an accident because I can't hold it. Will Aunt Ashley and Uncle Mike get mad at me?"

"No, they will not get mad at you."

"Oh...did you remember to pack my books?"

Beca took a breath, trying her hardest not to be sarcastic. "Yes, I packed your books. Do you have any other questions?"

Alex shrugged her shoulders, pearing around her carseat to get a better look at Beca. "Just one...where do babies come from?"

* * *

Beca got back into the car and watched as Ashley held Alex on her hip and they waved goodbye. Alex was frowning as she rested her head on Ashley's chest. She fought the urge to call Mark and tell him to go screw himself before scooping Alex up and going back home. Since that wasn't an option, Beca forced herself to go through her mental checklist to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

She had told Ashley and Mike Alex's bedtime and the time she usually woke up in the morning. She informed them of the _'no drinks after 7pm rule.'_ and the fact that too much sugar made Alex an Enigizer Bunny on crack. Beca reminded Ashley about Alex's bedtime routine, her favorite bedtime stories, her fear of the dark, and that she was worried about having a potty accident during the night.

She knew Alex was safe, and that she would have fun. Ashley had explained their plans for the week which included a trip to the water park, the Connecticut Children's Museum, and the Aquarium. Alex was in for a fun three days.

Still, immense guilt washed over Beca, and she found herself once again thinking about her own mother. The mother who had so easily left her without so much as a goodbye. She realized in this moment, that her mother couldn't possibly have loved her. If she had, she never would have left. It was hard enough for Beca to leave Alex knowing that she was safe and well cared for and she would see her again in just four days. And though Beca knew that she wasn't doing it on purpose, Alex hadn't made the goodbye all that easy. _'One more kiss'_ and _'One more hug'_ had turned into five more kisses and five more hugs. She made Beca tell her three times that she would be back, and Ashley had to at last, peel Alex off of Beca, her arms tightly wrapped around Beca's neck. Beca removed her daughters hold on her neck and kissed her hands, officially letting go as she told her one final time that she loved her before walking out the door. The fact that she was having to travel was hard enough, but the fact of the matter was, for four days, Beca would be 2,845 miles away from her child.

She sat in the car, trying to get control of her emotions as the door to the house closed, and Alex was out of sight.

Beca put the car in drive and pulled away as she told Siri to call Jesse. It was an hour drive to Stacie's from Ashley's and she needed something to distract her.

"Hey beautiful." He answered, picking up on the third ring. His voice infiltrated through the speakers of the car. Beca sighed.

"Hey."

Jesse could hear the sadness in her voice. It was one simple word, but he immediately gauged her mood. "You just dropped Alex off, didn't you?"

Beca sighed once more. "Can you do that thing where you tell me what a great mother I am and make my ego ten times bigger?"

He laughed at her request, and her heart melted as she pictured his smile. Damn it, she missed him already even after only a day away from each other.

"Bec, you're an incredible mother, it's one of the things I love most about you. I know you love Alex, nobody will ever love her more than you do. She knows it too, it's why she doesn't like it when you have to travel. But traveling is part of your job, which you are amazing at. It's hard, but you should not feel guilty. Alex is safe, she's with people who love her and care about her. And come Saturday, we'll all be together again. It's for her Bec, remember that. Were able to provide her with an incredible life because of our work."

Jesse always knew the right words to say to make her feel better and his words had soothed her fears instantly. Leaving her child didn't make her a bad mother, nor the fact that she was actually looking forward to being in LA with Stacie and getting a break for a few days.

"Thank you, I needed to hear that." Beca said as she made a left turn and headed south onto the interstate to head to Stacie's.

"You deserve this trip. I know it's for work, but I want you to enjoy the down time too, you're overdue for a break."

Jesse knew how hard Beca worked as she juggled being a full time mother, a full time music producer, and a full time wife. This left very little time for herself. Though Beca certainly wasn't the type to complain.

"Oh, one more thing. No drunken piercings or tattoo's. Unless it's my name on your ass, of which I'm all for."

Beca laughed as she rolled her eyes. "You mean my non exsistant ass?"

Jesse groaned. "Baby you know I love your ass, it's far from non existant, believe me."

God she missed him. Suddenly, dozens of images danced through her head. She thought about their times together. She thought about the way it felt to have his hands on her, how her body turned to jello when he grabbed at her breasts, kneading them, pinching them, sucking them. She thought about the way his hands massaged her ass when she was on top of him. Breathing in deeply, her hand reached up to touch her neck, remembering how it felt to have him shower that part of her body with kisses, knowing it was her weak spot. A spreading warmth filled her body as she remembered the way he moaned against her lips during sex, how his eyes watched her face intently when he would hit her G-spot, making sure she was enjoying things just as much as he was. Lastly, she thought about the way it felt to have his teeth sink into shoulder when he came inside of her.

"Bec, you still there?" Jesse questioned. Immediately she snapped out of her thoughts and tried her best to focus on the road before she got into a car accident from having phone sex with Jesse while driving.

"Babe, as much as I would love to tell you all the things I want to do to you right now, I have to drive." She explained.

He relented, knowing it wasn't a good time. "I love you Beca, call me tomorrow."

Beca smiled. "I love you too Jesse."

* * *

"Becs, have you ever let Jesse enter your back door?" Stacie casually asked before taking a bite of her chicken fried rice. Beca nearly choked as she was mid swallow when the unexpected question was brought up. Taking a swig of her water, she felt herself finally able to breathe again.

"Jesus, Stacie! A little warning would be great next time you have a personal question like that!" Beca nearly screamed. Stacie shrugged her shoulders.

The girls were splayed out on the living room floor as they ate their dinner, split a bottle of wine, and listened to the demo of the girl they were offering a recording contract to.

"No, we've never done that before, nor do I have any desire to do so anytime soon."

Beca did not consider herself to be a prude, she was more than willing to experiment with Jesse in the bedroom. Despite this fact, both Jesse and Beca agreed, anal play was something neither of them had an interest in exploring.

"I read this article in Cosmo the other day about it. I suppose it's worth giving it a shot, if for no other reason than to say I've done it."

Beca grimaced. "There are many things I would allow Jesse to do to me, shoving his dick up my ass is not one of them."

The front door opened, and Scott walked in sporting his scrubs. "Wow, clearly I picked the wrong time to walk into my own house."

Beca blushed profusely as Stacie busted out laughing. Dropping his bag on the floor, Scott walked over to give Stacie a kiss. After a twelve hour shift in the emergency room, he was exhausted.

"So, anal sex and chinese food, you girls really know how to party." Scott laughed as he made his way into the kitchen.

Stacie rolled her eyes before taking another bite of her food. "Oh please, like you and the boys don't talk about sex over beers and whatever game is on."

Pulling a plate out and preparing his dinner, he chuckled. "Of course we do. Unless of course Bumper's in the room. There are just some things a dude should not be telling another dude."

Beca nodded her head as she took a sip of her wine. "Believe me, it's even worse with Amy. I feel your pain."

* * *

Beca was exhausted as she fumbled with the Keurig, desperate to get some caffeine in her body. She glanced over at the clock, 4:45 in the morning. Shit! It wasn't even the ass crack of dawn. The black liquid trickled down into the cup, breaking the silence as it filled the kitchen with the aroma of vanilla. As she waited for the coffee to finish brewing, Beca went over things in her head, making sure she had everything she needed. The recording contract was securely in her black leather messenger bag, along with her laptop and charger. Her suitcase was fully packed and securely zipped, and in her purse was all the essentials she needed: License, credit cards, phone, charger, headphones, cash, hand sanitizer and gum.

As she pulled the coffee mug from the brew station and began to mix in the creamer, her phone vibrated against the table.

 _From: That Weirdo_

 _She's just a girl and she's on fire. She's got both feet on the ground and she's burning it down. I'm so proud of you Beca, you've got this in the bag. I miss you so much baby, but just know that I'm blown away by your drive and commitment. I love you._

Beca smiled as she read the message. Knowing she had the full support of her husband made this trip that much easier to go on. No matter where Beca's career took her, Jesse was always behind her, supporting her, and encouraging her.

Stacie made her way downstairs and put her luggage by the door before making her way into the kitchen. Fully dressed, and with fresh make up, she was ready to go. Scott trailed behind her sleepily in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt.

Grabbing a mug for coffee, he opened the cabinet and released a long yawn. "Girls, remember, one wrong turn and you can end up in Mexico, Jesse and I have no bail money, Lindsay Lohan is not your friend, and if you run into wife number two, remember to get an autograph."

"Wife number two?" Beca questioned.

"Oh, yeah. Scott and I have this deal where we wouldn't question the other's decision if our celebrity crushes asked us to marry them. I chose Chris Pratt, he picked Rihanna." Stacie informed as she threw a few last minute items into her bag. Scott chuckled.

"Seriously though, enjoy this. You'll kick ass." He assured them.

Beca gathered her things together when they heard a car pull up as Stacie and Scott said their goodbye's.

She opened the door to find a black SUV in the driveway and picked up her suitcase to transport it to the vehicle. Stacie was on Beca's heels with her own luggage which Beca was convinced contained more clothing than one person needed for a week, let alone four days.

The window rolled down.

"Get in losers, we're going shopping." Damian announced, causing Stacie to laugh.

Beca looked between Stacie and Damian. "Dude, what? No, there is no time to go shopping! Our flight leaves in like, 2 hours! Rest assured Stacie has enough clothes and shoes for the three of us. We are not making any pit stops."

Stacie stared at Beca in confusion as Damian put his head down and groaned.

"Really? You married the king of movie nerds and he has yet to make you watch Mean Girls? This is a travesty. No Starbucks for you Glen Coco."

Beca shook her head and scoffed. "I suppose I'll live, I'd much rather be double fisting some screwdrivers right now anyway, so can we get this show on the road?"

* * *

 _"Paging passenger Ella Thompson to gate four, Ella Thompson to gate four, your flight is now boarding."_

LaGuardia Airport was just begining to come alive as the sun began to rise and people around them printed boarding passes and headed in line to check bags. Beca hummed softly as the coffee, still warm, continued to wake her up. She glanced over to a little girl who wore a Doc McStuffins backpack and held tightly to her mother's hand, thinking of Alex. _Sofia the First_ and _Doc McStuffins_ were staples in the Swanson household.

Stacie stood at the kiosk, repeatedly pressing buttons and trying to figure things out. Huffing in frustration, she finally threw her hands up in defeat.

"Here, you try plugging your information in. For whatever reason, this damn thing keeps telling me I'm on a 7am flight to Laramie, Wyoming."

Beca's brows furrowed in confusion. Clearly this was some kind of mistake. Stepping up to the kiosk, she plugged her confirmation code in and waited as the screen pulled up her information.

 _Mitchell-Swanson/Rebeca Grace_

 _First Class_

 _Delta Flight 1842_

 _LGA-LAR_

 _On Time Departure_

 _Begins boarding 6:34am_

Beca stared at the screen. Why the fuck were they on a flight to Wyoming? Mark had been specific when he had called her on Saturday. They were flying Delta and getting into LA at approximently 10am.

Figuring there had to be a simple explination, the girls gathered their luggage and waited in line to talk to an agent. At six in the morning on a random Wednesday, LaGuardia had yet to overcrowd. Beca watched as person after person moved ahead of them in line, until finally, the "next!" that was called out was meant for them.

A tall, dark skinned, clean cut, uniformed Delta employee typed away on the keyboard while never taking his eyes off the computer screen, barely even ackowledging Beca and Stacie as he asked for their tickets. Looking down at the material in his hands, he finally looked up for the first time.

"What seems to be the problem ladies?" He asked. It was evident from his tone that this man neither cared nor wanted to be bothered to help them at that hour of the morning.

Beca was the first to speak.

"Uh yeah, this isn't our flight. We were supposed to be booked on the 7am flight to Los Angeles."

The man went back to his computer as he continued to type in a frenzy.

"Stacie Conrad and Rebeca Mitchell-Swanson?"

"Yes." Beca answered.

"Mm..yeah, nope." The man stated, his eyes still glued to his computer.

Stacie tilted her head in confusion. "What does 'Mm yeah nope' mean exactly?"

"According to this, I definitely do not have you booked on a flight to LA. You're on that flight to Wyoming. Tough luck ladies."

Beca quickly whipped her cell phone out and stepped to the side as Stacie continued to talk with the agent.

"Hello?" Mark's tired and groggy voice answered after several rings.

"What the fuck dude?!" Beca yelled.

Mark groaned. "Beca? Why the hell are you calling me right now, it's six in the morning."

"Yeah dude, it is. Stacie and I are supposed to be on a flight to Los Angeles. Instead were standing at the ticket counter trying to figure out why were booked on a flight to Wyoming."

"What? Wyoming? Of course I didn't book you on a flight to Wyoming. Hold on a second."

She could hear him flick a light on and begin to sit up while simultaniously telling his wife to go back to bed. His typing on a keyboard could be heard in the distance.

"Right here, you and Stacie, booked to fly out on Wednesday, June 18th, from LaGuardia to Laramie. Wait...Laramie?! Oh shit."

Beca sighed. There hadn't been a mistake, just a screw up on Mark's part.

"Fuck. Alright, my bad. What are your options?"

Beca glanced over to Stacie, who was leaned over the counter seductively. "My options are to fly to Wyoming or hope Stacie's body is enough to get us on the 7:30 flight to LA."

"Well, it is Stacie. Lets not rule out option two just yet."

Beca rolled her eyes as she informed Mark that they would figure something out and hung up the phone as she made her way back to the counter. Stacie was working in overtime to try and find a way around the situation.

Stacie was tall, close to six foot. Her legs stretched on for days and her chest had the ability to make grown men weep. In short, there were few situations Stacie's body couldn't get her out of.

Dressed in a plum, one shoulder top, a pair of dark wash jeans, and her Jimmy Choo's, She leaned up against the counter and smiled.

"Look Simon...if that is in fact your real name, I am willing to make sacrificies here. I will fly coach if that's what it takes. Just name your price handsome, we need to be on that flight to Los Angeles this morning."

Typing away at his computer, the man paused briefly to glance up at Stacie's chest before looking at her face. He then returned back to typing. "I'm gay, and judging by that rock on your finger, you're engaged. Let's both save ourselves the embarrassment and quit while we're ahead."

Stacie huffed, feeling slightly offended. Every tactic had been used, there simply was not any room on the 7:30 flight to Los Angeles. Defeated, Stacie and Beca begrudgingly handed over their luggage to be checked. Picking up her carry on, Beca looked at Stacie as they began to make their way to security.

"Wow Stace, I didn't think it was possible, but you finally found a man not willing to rise to the occasion. This is definitely one for the record books."

Wyoming. Beca and Stacie were flying to Wyoming.


	5. Family Traditions

****Disclaimer: There's this thing, called creative license, and it is used heavily through out this chapter. I have absolutely NO hate against the state of Wyoming, I in fact have never been to Wyoming. I can pretty much guarantee that the way I've described the state of Wyoming is nothing at all like what it is. I'm sure it's a very beautiful state. However, for this chapter, I decided to have a little fun. My deepest apologies to any of my readers if I happen to bash your state.****

 **Also worth noting, in GMET, Chloe met her husband, Luke, who had just moved from Georgia to Connecticut for Law School. I completely wasn't thinking when I chose the name, forgetting that people might confuse him with Luke the station manager. If this was a movie, Scott Eastwood would play Chloe's Husband.**

 **Bekah, you're amazing, thank you for never giving up on me.**

 **Enjoy everyone, and please be sure to review, I love hearing from each of you!**

* * *

This was not how he was supposed to respond. In her head he was sympathetic, calming, and said all the right words. Because he was Jesse Swanson, that's what he did. He said all the right things, made Beca feel safe, and always had a plan, always had an answer.

In reality, he was cackling away, right in her ear.

"Jesse!" Beca hissed. "This is so _not_ funny!"

Pacing back and forth, Beca glanced out the window. It was nothing but flat land for miles and miles. Off in the distance, tumbleweeds blew across the plains as the wind begain to pick up and a crop duster flew over a field of corn. Where they even still in the United States?

To say that Laramie Regional Airport was small was a complete understatement. For starters, Delta was the only airline that even flew passengers to and from. The airport had five gates, and were lucky if they saw thirty flights throughout the day. The building was a one story structure with one ticket counter, a rundown McDonald's, a scarcely stocked Magazine Store, and a generic coffee shop. Beca could see every part of the airport from where she stood. It had been a four and a half hour flight from New York to Wyoming. With the time change, it was 9:30 in the morning, and their flight to LA wouldn't leave until noon. Factoring in yet another time difference, the girls were scheduled to touch down at 2pm. Having been in three different time zones in one day, Beca's mind could barely keep up. At this point, time was irrelevant.

"I'm sorry." Jesse apologized, trying to compose himself. "I'm just trying to picture you and Stacie in Wyoming...It's not working. Can I get a selfie of you guys by a tractor or out in a corn field or something?"

His laughter continued in her ear, and she briefly considered hanging up on him.

"Hey, here's a fun fact!" He chirped up again. "Did you know that the city of Laramie has a population of 31,814 people and the entire state of Wyoming only has 584,000 residents? Bec, New York City has like...8 million residents!"

Beca took a seat and glanced over at Stacie, who was reapplying another coat of makeup. She smacked her lips together as she looked in her compact mirror.

"Yeah, here's my own fun fact, when I get home, I'm going to take your list of fun facts, and shove them up your ass!"

Stacie glanced over curiously. "I thought you guys weren't into anal?"

"I'll make this my one and only exception." Beca huffed.

Jesse finally seemed to settle down as they talked about how things were going in New York, plans for when they returned home, and how much they already missed each other despite the fact that Jesse could be a royal pain in Beca's ass. Jesse was headed out the door and off to a meeting when she had called. Having arrived at his location, he told Beca that he loved her, and reminded her to take plenty of pictures.

Hanging up the phone, Beca released a long sigh. She and Stacie were stranded in the middle of nowhere as they waited for their flight to arrive. Pulling out her laptop and figuring she could at least get some work done, Beca soon came to find that there was no wifi available in the airport. She closed the computer in defeat and crossed her arms against her chest.

A chime came in from above, signaling someone was using the intercom system. Beca glanced up at the sound.

 _"Paging Brian Williams, Brian Williams to gate four please."_

The security guard passed by, riding his segway.

"Oh for God's sake Earl, there's twenty damn people in the entire place, I don't even know why we have the intercom system, just use your outside voice!" He chastised.

Raising her eyebrows, Beca found herself totally confused and out of her element.

"Ugh, this is awful, there's not even a bar for us to pass the time in." Stacie complained as she exaimed her nails. "What the hell are we supposed to do for the next two and a half hours?"

"Y'all could go to Hank's."

Beca and Stacie both looked up at the sound of a man's voice.

Across from them, sat a gentleman dressed in blue jean overalls, a plaid shirt, and a straw hat, shelling peanuts, presumably waiting for a flight.

"I'm sorry?" Beca questioned.

"Hank's." He repeated, not bothering to look up. "The bar across the street. Been there since...what's it been now, bout fifty or sixty years I guess."

"It's, um, it's 9:30 in the morning." Beca pointed out. Surely the man had just lost track of time. He laughed a deep bellied laugh.

"Oh honey, Hank's never closes. That crazy old man lives at the bar. He got married in that bar. Matter of fact, his late wife, Bessie, delivered one of their son's on the pool table. He might not be up, but the bar will be, I can damn near guarantee it." The man said as he dropped peanut shells onto the floor.

Beca turned to look at Stacie. Places like this could not seriously exsist. It was the stuff of movies. What the hell kind of backwoods had they been dropped into?

"Bec, if were stuck in Wyoming for the next two and a half hours, we should at least get drunk."

Beca agreed. Gathering their belongings, the girls thanked the man, and made their way out of the airport.

* * *

They weren't even sure it was open at first as they stared at the small, dilapidated building in front of them. The overgrown weeds surrounding the area, blew forcefully as the wind picked up around them. The shutters, badly in need of a fresh coat of paint, hung loosely almost entirely of their hinges. Not a single car was parked in the dirt parking lot, and Bud Light cans had been scattered about. The place looked like Mayberry, and Beca fully expected Opie to go walking by with his fishing pole and tackle box at any moment. She told herself that if Barney Fife was sitting at the bar when they walked in, she was going to get on the first plane out of Laramie; she didn't care where it was going.

Beca rarely wore heels. As she looked down at her sleeveless, maroon colored top and dark wash jeans, she wished at this point that she had gone with her original choice of footwear, flats.

"Why do I have a feeling were going to regret this?"

"Only one way to find out." Stacie insisted as she grabbed Beca by the hand and pulled the door open.

The four men at the bar all turned in their chairs and stared as the wind loudly slammed the door shut behind the girls.

The inside of the bar wasn't fairing much better than the outside. Beca caughed and waved her hand in front of her face as she tried to adjust to the smoke filled haze. In the middle of the room laid two worn, well used pool tables, both of which were missing balls and covered in beer stains. A jukebox, pinball machine, and an ancient Pac Man arcade game lined up in the back. Hank Williams Jr could be heard echoing off the walls of the nearly empty bar.

Beca and Stacie had never felt so out of place in their life.

Standing behind the bar, an older gentleman, who had to be pushing nearly eighty some years old, cleaned a beer glass.

"Can I help you ladies?"

Making their way over to the bar, peanut shells crunched beneath the soles of the girls heels. Stacie cleared her throat as she whipped her loosely curled, honey brown hair behind her shoulder.

"Yeah can we get two cinnamon toast crunch shots and two angry orchards?" She asked as she handed over the company credit card. It was Mark's screw up that the girls were even in Wyoming in the first place. The least he could do was cover their bar tab.

The bartender laughed heartily at their expense. What started as a chuckle, quickly erupted into full blown laughter. The four men sitting around the bar soon joined in. Beca and Stacie looked at each other curiously, not catching on as to what could possibly be so funny.

"Ya'll must not be from around here." He finally answered after he managed to compose himself.

Stacie, Miss. Queen of fashion, looked down at her outfit. From the sunglasses to the clothes all the way down to the shoes, every piece on Stacie's body was a designer label. She rolled her eyes. "Whatever gave that away?"

"Well, for starters, we don't serve liquor, and we don't take credit cards. But..." The man leaned over the bar and lowered his voice. "For twenty bucks, I've got some mason jars of moonshine out in the back of my trunk."

Stacie stood there as she pressed her lips together and thought the offer over in her head. Beca's eyes widened as she glanced between Stacie and the bartender.

"Uhh, the angry orchards will do just fine, thanks." Beca cut in as she handed the man a twenty dollar bill.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" She hissed to Stacie as the man turned his back and reached into a refrigerator.

"Becs, I'm pretty sure I'd drink everclear at this point. I need something strong!" Stacie whispered.

Beca pulled her cell phone out and quickly sent Jesse a text.

 _I have somehow landed into some fucked up backwoods twilight zone. Some dude just offered Stacie and I moonshine...in a mason jar...from his trunk! The only thing this place is missing is some hillbilly strumming a banjo._

In the chair next to them, sat a young man who couldn't have been much older than them. In a pair of blue jeans, cowboy boots, and a plaid shirt, he looked harmless enough. Looking over, he smiled and tipped his hat before spitting chewing tobacco juice into his beer can.

Beca and Stacie both smiled nervously before simultaniously holding up their left hands and pointing to the rings on their fingers.

Beca felt her phone vibrate and looked down to see a text from Jesse.

All it contained was three crying laughing emoji faces. He was so dead when and if she got home.

It was about to be the longest two and a half hours of their lives.

* * *

"I can't believe you let that man give you square dancing lessons!" Beca laughed as the girls made it off the plane and into LAX.

"Hey, when in Rome..."

After a rather interesting experience at Hank's in which Stacie had allowed Mr. Chewing Tobacco to teach her how to square dance and the girls had gone through four beers each, Beca had never been more thrilled to be in California than she had at that moment. The people of Wyoming had been more than friendly. Albeit weird, but friendly none the less. And they certainly did their best to try and make the girls feel welcome. However, the hustle and bustle that the Los Angeles Airport provided was a most welcome sight as watched the hundreds of people running about trying to get to their various locations, the dozens of well recognizable fast food locations, and the many 'free wifi available' signs scattered throughout the airport. The intercom system continuously went off as announcements were made and passengers were paged. It was like they had stepped back into the twenty first century again.

After quickly grabbing the cinnamon toast crunch shots the girls had been craving in Wyoming, they headed down to baggage claim to grab their luggage.

Making their way down the escalator, Stacie immediately caught sight of the big hot pink sign with 'Mitchson/Conrad' written in bold, black, block letters. She immediately burst into laughter at the sight as Beca rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I hate it when he combines my last names."

Stacie laughed. "I mean, in his defense, the man has no patience, and Mitchell-Swanson is a lot to fit on a sign."

They made their way over to the sign that was being held by a five foot two Indian man in a business suit, with a huge smile on his face.

"Ladies! Ladies! So good to have you in Los Angeles! My name is Krishna, it's so nice to meet you both. Tell me, how was your flight?" He asked as he took their bags and escorted them out of the airport. Beca and Stacie simply looked at each other.

"It was definitely interesting." Beca replied.

The sunshine felt amazing on her skin. With the temperature at a comfortable 72 degrees and a slight breeze, the weather was absolutely perfect. After a crazy morning of flights, mishaps, and time changes, (Beca still wasn't sure what the exact time was.) it felt good to finally be in LA and to have the evening ahead of them to relax.

A commotion could be heard from a few gates down as the girls made their way to the car. People were screaming out questions, flashes were going off intensely, and security was trying desperately to get the situation under control. Beca stopped for a second and looked over at the scene, unable to make out who was coming through.

Krishna shook his head. "Celebrities, LAX is full of them. You get used to the chaos of this airport after a while."

Beca nodded her head, feeling once again beyond grateful to get the best of both worlds. Beca got to be apart of the music industry, which had been a lifelong dream, and yet, she had total anonymity. Music producers had huge roles in the industry, but unless you were Pharell, the average citizen would have no idea who you were if they saw you walking down the street. And that was exactly how Beca liked it.

In the parking garage, a black sedan beeped as the car was unlocked and the trunk popped. Placing their bags into the trunk, Krishna shut it and got into the driver's seat as Stacie and Beca slid into the back seats and buckled their seatbelts.

Krishna buckled his seatbelt, turned the car on, and put it into reverse before turning his head back to face the girls.

"LA traffic can be a little crazy, but there is nothing to worry about, I assure you we will all arrive in one piece!"

* * *

Both Beca and Stacie flew forward as the car screetched to a halt in front of the Beverly Hilton.

"Welcome to the Beverly Hilton!" Krishna cheerfully exclaimed as he put the car in park and turned back to face the girls.

Beca clutched at her chest as she tried to regain her breathing and waited for the dizziness to fade. Had she known they were going to be taking a ride on Aerosmith's Rock'n Roller Coaster, she never would have taken the shot back at the airport.

The girls had watched in horror as Krishna's rode rage had turned the sweet and tiny man into a version of the hulk with a mouth that had the ability to make a truck driver blush. As they swerved in and out of lanes, Krishna rode people's bumpers, laid on the horn, and flipped people off left, right, and center. His speed, combined with the constant stop and go, had both girls so dizzy, they briefly considered getting sick into their handbags. Beca had never been a very religious person, but it hadn't taken long before she was praying under her breath and begging Jesus to take the wheel.

As they stepped out of the car, Beca and Stacie were both completely worn out and thanking God for the land beneath their feet.

After checking in at the front desk, the girls headed up to their room. Much to their surprise, Mark, having felt guilty for screwing their flight up, had called and upgraded the girls to a deluxe suite. Upon entering the room, a fresh fruit basket, several bottles of wine, vouchers for massages, and a heartfelt apology note greeted them. After a long and exhausting morning, their posh home away from home for the next several days was more than welcomed.

After unpacking and getting settled in, Beca sprawled out on her bed and called Jesse to let him know they arrived safely while Stacie settled for a bubble bath in the oversized soaking tub. The girls were due to meet with their up and coming artist for dinner that night at seven, but for now, they had plenty of time to relax.

After hanging up with Jesse, Beca laid in the bed, alone with her thoughts.

Beca had felt uneasy leaving for Los Angeles without speaking to Chloe. She and Stacie had both tried to reach out to her, thinking she would have liked to join them on their trip. Though the girls would be busy with work quite a bit of the time, they both had agreed that Chloe would have enjoyed a mini vacation at the beach. But all of their calls had gone unanswered. Beca had left several messages on her voicemail, as well as with Luke. And in the event that Chloe didn't want to actually talk, she sent several text messages. Every attempt to contact her went unanswered. Picking up her phone, she decided to try one last time. This time, calling Luke.

"Hello."

His thick southern voice pierced through her ear. Living on the East Coast for the past five years did nothing to erase his accent. Hearing Luke speak, it was like he never even left Georgia. He had answered the phone so quickly, Beca was momentarily rendered speechless.

"Hello?" He repeated, waiting for a response.

"Luke, hey, it's Beca." She quickly answered.

"Oh...hey Beca."

His voice was timid, and on edge. He had to know that Beca was getting sick of being dodged, of phone calls and text messages that always seemed to go unanswered.

"I was just wondering if I could talk to Chloe. I'm starting to get worried. I haven't seen her since that brief encounter at Stacie's like two weeks ago. I've tried calling, left a whole bunch of messages..."

Luke sighed, and Beca could feel the lump return to her throat as she tried not to let her emotions get the best of her. She just wanted to talk to her best friend and help her through whatever it was that was going on.

"She's uh, she's actually in the shower right now."

Beca shook her head, feeling beaten down and frustrated. "Stop, just...just please stop making excuses for her. Have you even told her that I've been calling?"

Luke became very defensive. "I've delivered every one of your messages!"

"Look, I'm...I'm sorry, I know you wouldn't keep things from her." Beca almost whispered. "It's just that she hasn't returned any of my phone calls and honestly, I don't know what I've done to set her off. I miss her, Alex misses her, she won't stop asking about her."

Beca and Luke sat in an uncomfortable silence for several minutes. If he was honest, Luke wasn't exactly sure what he could tell Beca that wouldn't make Chloe turn on him. Chloe had made it very clear that she did not want anyone other than Luke to know what was going on. Hell, he was barely speaking to Chloe at the moment. At this point, they were more like roommates than husband and wife. The last real conversation they had had was several days ago when they discussed what they needed from the grocery store. If he was completely honest with himself, he was tired of feeling alone in this marriage. He wasn't angry at Chloe, he was angry at the situation. But Chloe pushing him away, pushing _everyone_ away, sure as hell wasn't helping things.

"Luke?"

Luke shook his head. "Yeah, sorry...I'm here."

Beca sat on the bed, trying to make sense of everything. "I'm really sorry to keep bothering you, the whole situation just has me on edge. I just want to know what's going on. If I've done something to upset Chloe, I want to know so I can fix it."

"You're not a bother Beca, you're Chloe's closest and most valued friend." Luke assured her. "She holds you very close to her heart."

"I'm not so sure about that these days." Beca admitted as she whiped the tears from her cheeks. She hated that she was one of those people that cried when the anger and disappointment became too much to handle. "Will you just tell her I called...again?"

Luke sighed. "Of course, I'll let her know."

"And Luke?"

"Yeah?"

Beca blew out a breath as her tears brimmed and continued to spill out. "Can you tell her that I love her? And...that I miss her."

"It'll be the first thing I tell her Beca, I promise."

Luke hung up the phone and rested his hands on the island. Angrily, he looked around the kitchen for something, anything that he could throw. Glancing at the empty glass next to him, he picked it up and slammed it to the ground in a fit of rage, watching as the glass shattered instantly, sending shards outward in every direction. Leaning his back against the island, he ran his fingers through his hair as he fought against the tears. Everything around him seemed to be shattering, and he felt helpless to stop it. The problem they were facing wasn't going to go away anytime soon, and in the meantime, it was tearing apart countless relationships.

In the living room, just a few feet away, the 28x36 framed picture mocked him. Chloe, wrapped up in his arms in that stunning, pure white, strapless wedding dress. They were both smiling as they kissed. He remembered every detail of that day, and how he was positive he had never seen his wife looking more beautiful than she had on that day.

Luke Barnes and Chloe Beale were married on September 19th, 2014. In a garden ceremony, on a beautiful fall evening, they pledged to love each other and walk through life together in front of one hundred and fifty guests.

Her breathtaking light blue eyes, the very first thing Luke had noticed about Chloe, were so filled with love, hapiness, and hope. Her lush red hair was made even more vibrant when paired against the white dress. He couldn't have imagined a more beautiful woman, and his heart swelled with pride on that day, knowing she had chosen him.

With Luke working his way through Yale Law to become a criminal defense lawyer, and Chloe working as an interior decorator, the young couple had a beautiful life ahead of them. Together, the possibilities seemed endless.

Taking another sip of his beer, Luke glanced over at the small desk sandwiched between the refrigerator and the pantry door. The cause of so many fights stared straight back at him.

Half a dozen prescriptions were lined up, various sticky notes were scattered with different reminders, and papers had been haphazardly tossed aside. If there was anything Luke wanted to smash, it was those pills. He wanted them gone, wanted this nightmare they were walking through to be over with already. He wanted to unscrew each cap and watch with great satisfaction as every pill spilled down the drain, never to be seen again. He wanted to tell Chloe he loved her, and that he would make everything better. He wanted to tell her that she was enough for him, he didn't need anything else. He wanted to take a two week vacation with her and never leave their hotel room. He wanted to feed her breakfast in bed, shower with her, worship every inch of her body, he wanted to let her know it had only ever been her. It would always be her.

He wanted.

He wanted.

He heard her footsteps against the stairs as she made her way down. It wasn't long before Chloe made her appearence in the kitchen sporting a white robe complete with a towel around her head. She glanced over at Luke, pressed up against the island, drinking a beer, then cast her eyes down to the shattered glass on the floor.

"What happened?" Chloe asked with absolutely no emotion.

Luke looked over at her, wanting to say everything and yet nothing at the same time. He shook his head. "It's nothing, I just accidently dropped the glass. I'll get it in a second, just don't come near it."

Chloe nodded as she grabbed a glass and poured herself some water. The tension between the two was overwhelmingly aparent with neither knowing the right words to say.

At last, Luke spoke up again. "Hey Chlo?"

"Yeah?" She answered. Chloe was exhausted, he could hear it in her voice, he could see it in her face. Chloe Barnes, the beautiful, optimistic, cheerful, vibrant woman he had fallen madly, deeply in love with all those years ago, had vanished. The stress had taken its toll on her. It stripped her of her joy, her happiness, her optimism, and her love for life. What remained, was a young woman who had become jaded, heartbroken, and depressed. A woman who had closed in on herself, and shut the world out.

"Beca called again."

Chloe sighed. "Okay, thanks."

Turning on her heel, Chloe began to make her way back upstairs to head to bed.

"She told me to tell you that she loves you, and, she misses you."

She stopped in her tracks, her back still facing Luke. The words cut straight through her. She missed Beca too, and she wished that life could just go back to way it was in college. She missed the parties, the competitions, the late nights staying up and laughing with her best friends. But the past was in the past, too much had happened, too much had transpired. It was too late to go back.

Luke twiddled his fingers, so unsure of whether or not to continue talking. But damnit, he was hurting, and he wanted her.

"Chlo?"

"What?" She whispered harshly. He could hear the heartbreak in her voice, and knew she was crying.

"I miss you too."


	6. This is your night

***Sorry for the delay friends, it took me a while to get this chapter where I wanted it, and I'm so glad it's done and over with! I hope the wait was worth it, and that you enjoy it. Please R &R, I love reading your thoughts and ideas!***

 **Bekah-You are my rock. Thank you for caring about this story as much as I do.**

* * *

Had the music always been this loud in the clubs? Or was Beca just getting old?

Lady GaGa blasted through the speakers of the bar as the bartender flipped bottles, boys danced on the table tops, and strobe lights lit up the room in a variety of different colors.

It was Beca and Stacie's first day in Los Angeles, and after the hell of flying for half the day and trying to adjust to multiple time changes, things had finally settled down. Their dinner with blues artist Zoey Kay and her parents had gone over well. After agreeing on terms, and assuring her parents that Beca had Zoey's best interests at heart and would not steer her in the wrong direction, Zoey had signed the contract. At the tender age of fifteen, she took the title of youngest artist for Columbia Records. It was an exciting time for everyone involved.

After dinner, Beca and Stacie celebrated with drinks at one of the rooftop bars. The atmosphere was calm and relaxing as new age music softly played through the speakers. The views of Los Angeles as the sun set were incredible as the sky lit up in vibrant hues of pink and purple. Beca could see the draw and appeal of living out here. The warm breeze blew through softly, causing her to close her eyes and smile contentedly. Today had been a good day. But after a few martini's in the classy, low key establishment, Stacie became antsy, and was ready to let loose and have fun. Thirty minutes later, they found themselves at _Redline_ _s,_ a popular LA gay bar.

Beca had never been in a gay bar before, and wasn't really sure what to expect. But from the moment the girls made their way through the door, she felt at ease. There was no pressure here, and she felt comfortable letting her hair down and being herself. The drinks were good, the music was familiar, the crowd was bursting with energy and happiness, and should any girls approach them, Beca and Stacie just smiled and offered a response of 'I'm flattered, but straight.' and flashed the rings on their left hands.

As the girls danced out on the large dance floor, Stacie was trying to talk to Beca, but she could barely be heard over the music. Beca pointed to her ears and shook her head, letting her know she couldn't hear her.

"SHOT!" Stacie screamed out through the crowd at a level loud enough that Beca could finally comprehend what she was saying. As they made their way through the sea of people, Stacie turned her head back to tell Beca something and as a result, slammed right into a stranger's back, spilling his drink everywhere.

"Oh my gosh, I am _so_ sorry!" She apologized profusely as she bent down and picked up the cup. "Please, allow me to buy you another one."

A young, twenty something, hispanic man wearing a tight, black v-neck tshirt, and a pair of dark wash jeans turned around and faced them. "Oh, no problem, it happens. But if you insist, a Jack and coke please. I'm Tony by the way, and this is my boyfriend Jose."

"Nice to meet you both, I'm Stacie, this is my friend Beca."

Everyone shook hands and introductions were made. As Stacie shuffled forward to try and get to the bar, Jose looked down and gasped.

"Oh my gosh, are those real Louboutin's?"

Stacie looked down at her shoes and smiled before showing off the signature red sole that only an authentic pair of Louboutin's held.

Putting down her credit card, she ordered Tony's drink, and a round of fireball shots as she and Jose discussed designer footwear.

"To new friends and new adventures, cheers!" Tony announced as the four of them clinked their shot glasses and threw them back.

Beca shook her head as the whiskey burned its way down her throat. It was official, she was drunk. Taking her SoCo and Ginger Ale, she quickly chased the shot before they made their way back out onto the dance floor. ' _Barbie Girl'_ began to infiltrate the space causing cheers of joy and excitement from the crowd. Stacie spun her around as the girls began to dance, nostalgia washing over them.

It had been years since she had found herself so uninhibited. Though she was just 24 years old, she was a wife, and a mother. If Beca did find herself drinking, it was nothing more than a glass of wine with dinner or a glass or two in the evening to unwind from a long day. Being in the club, she thought back to her wedding/honeymoon in Jamaica, which was the last time she could remember being this inebriated. Coincidently, that night had also been Stacie's idea. Beca was starting to sense a pattern.

She could feel the alcohol coursing its way through her system. Stacie and Beca had basically been drinking since the moment they stepped on that plane at LaGuardia nearly twenty four hours earlier. Beca paused momentarily, and thought back through the day. She really had been drinking non stop all day and took a moment to think about what she had ingested and wondered if she had eaten enough to absorb it all. There were the two mimosa's on the plane from LaGuardia to Laramie, the four Angry Orchard's at Hanks, the Cinnamon Toast Crunch shot at LAX, the two cosmopolitan's at the rooftop bar, and the SoCo and Ginger Ale she was currently having, along with the shot of Fireball. And now, it was all starting to hit her.

Beca pulled out her phone to check her messages, but there was nothing, just the time stamp informing her that it was 11:04pm. Clicking on her message icon anyway, she scrolled through. It had been three hours since he last messaged her, telling her that he was getting ready for bed and that he loved her.

Fuck, she missed him. After an entire day of non stop drinking and plane rides, Beca wanted Jesse in the worst possible way. They had just had sex on Monday morning after the discussion about her IUD removal, but she wanted him again.

Closing her eyes as she swayed to the music, she thought about how good he made her feel. She imagined his lips on hers and how his hands would feel as they roamed her body. She was desperate for drunken, messy, uncoordinated, intensely hot sex that left her screaming his name. Clearly parenthood, and life in general, had done little to suppress her libido. She was drunk, and horny, and Jesse was over 2,000 miles away.

* * *

Jesse shifted in the king sized bed and opened his eyes. The room was blanketed in darkness, illuminated only by the moonlight streaming in through the windows. Glancing over at the clock, he saw it was only 2am. Getting up to use the bathroom, he washed his hands and checked his phone before climbing back into bed. He had a missed call, a voicemail, and 2 text messages from Beca.

Sitting up, he hit play and listened to the message. He had to concentrate to hear her voice through the music in the background.

" _Hey babe, it's me. Are you awake? It's gotta be like the middle of the night over there. Yeah, you're totally sleeping right now, that's cool. Just...call me, if you can. I really miss you. I love you Jesse."_

She had only called a few minutes earlier, and he realized then that her phone call was more than likely what had woken him up. If it was 2am his time, that made it only 11 in LA. Judging by the background music from her voicemail, she was more than likely out at a bar somewhere. He opened her text message.

 _"Fuck, I'm so drunk right now. I know we just had sex before we left, but I'm dying, I need you inside me. But I'm drunk, and you're 2,000 miles away."_

He was wide awake now. Quickly, he read her second message.

 _"Did I tell you I miss you? Because I do. I also really miss your mouth and all the talented things it can do. All I can think about right now is your hands on my breasts and your head in between my thighs. I miss the way you make me feel, the way you make me scream. Okay...that's all. Sleep well."_

Jesse sat up in bed and stared at the message, eyes blinking, and his mouth open wide in shock.

Beca had been forward with him many times in the past. She initiated sex just as much as he did, and she was certainly not shy in telling him what she liked and what she needed. Whether she needed things rough, slow, a new position, his hands in a certain area, whatever it was, she let him know. After six years together, they were extremely comfortable around each other. Together they had shared deep levels of intimacy. They had seen the best of each other, and the worst of each other, and still woke up each morning a little more in love than they were the day before.

As tired as he was, he could feel the beginnings of an erection. Though Beca was fully capable of taking charge, Jesse had never gotten a text message like this from her. In the four years they had been married, they had been apart about a dozen times due to business, the only other times they were apart was when Beca and the girls took a vacation together every summer. Sure, during those times, he'd get a few suggestive messages, but nothing this explicit. He had to admit, it was a major turn on.

However, this trip in particular was different, Beca was sharing a room with Stacie. If she had been in search of some kind of relief, she was going to be hard pressed to get a moment alone.

Laying back down, he read over the text messages again and blew out a breath. The images of Beca pressed against their bed, gasping his name, her hands gripping his hair as she moaned, wrapping her legs around his head while rocking against his face assaulted his brain. He imagined getting her off two or three times before he climbed on top of her and watched her face as he slid inside of her wet, warm center and brought her to climax once more.

Fuck, he certainly wasn't going back to sleep after this. He immediately texted her.

 _"Holy shit. Where are you? Are you alone?"_

It didn't take long for her to reply.

 _"Currently? I'm in a gay bar listening to 90's dance music and getting trashed. I can be alone though...give me 5 minutes ;)"_

He went into his pictures as he waited for her to call, searching for the one picture he had seen so many times. Pulling it up, his eyes raked over it. Taken two years prior, the picture displayed Beca, posing naked in bed. Her flowing brown hair framed her face, her entire body exposed to him. It was the one and only picture she had ever allowed him to take of her naked, and it had helped him out on many business trips.

Beca's body was incredible, and pregnancy had done little to change that. Her breasts, Jesse's favorite part of her body, were soft, smooth, and perfectly sized. He thought about the way they felt in his hands, and how it was one of her most erogenous zones. Massaging her breasts always got her going. Her stomach, so perfectly flat and smooth, and devoid of any stretch marks. Her tiny waist, her luscious legs. She was perfect, and as always, he was amazed by her, every last inch of her.

Jesse glanced over at the clock, it was now 2:12 in the morning, six minutes after Beca said she would call him.

Fully erect and throbbing now, Beca was all he could think about. He was desperate for some relief. Surely she would call him any minute he continued to tell himself. But as 2:12 turned to 2:15 to 2:18, he became quite restless and downright uncomfortable. Picking up his phone, he called her, but after five rings, it went to voicemail.

Where was she? He had just texted with her fifteen minutes earlier. Her phone couldn't be dead, it would have gone straight to voicemail if it was. Staring up at the ceiling, with his dick standing straight up, he tried calling her again. On the third ring, there was an answer.

"Hello? Watch her head!"

Jesse sat up, slightly confused and feeling his dick deflate a little. "Stacie?"

"Yeah?" Stacie replied, as if her answering Beca's phone was a common occurance.

"Why do you have Beca's phone?"

He could hear people talking in the background, but the noise was softer, they were definitely out of the bar.

"The Beverly Hilton please." Stacie instructed before turning her attention back to Jesse. "Because I'm trying to get your passed out wife into a taxi so we can get back to the hotel. Wait...Jess, it's gotta be like 2:30 in the morning in New York, what the hell are _you_ doing up right now?"

"That's besides the point, Beca's passed out?"

"You wanna do dinner tomorrow night? We'll be at the recording studio all day. Maybe 8 o'clock? Yeah, that sounds good!"

Jesse could tell Stacie was clearly distracted. "Stacie! Focus!"

"Right, sorry! We may or may not have been drinking all day. Sometimes I forget how tiny Beca is. But don't worry, I've got everything taken care of. I'll have her call you in the morning. Night Jesse!"

The call ended, and Jesse sat in bed, looking down at his massive hard on. Well, this was just great. It looked like the only thing in Jesse's immediate future was a cold ass shower.

* * *

Beca stirred in bed as her eyes began to open. It took her several seconds to adjust to her surroundings. A hotel room...right, they were in LA. She could hear the shower running and glanced over at the clock, it was 8am and luckily they weren't due at the recording studio until 11.

Her mouth was dry and her head was pounding. Any memory of the previous nights activities had been erased. The last clear image Beca could envision was leaving the rooftop bar. Had the night ended after that? It didn't seem likely, that would have made for an extremely early night.

She sat up in bed and looked down at her clothes. She wore a pair of gray yoga pants and one of her Bella's t-shirts. Her outfit from the night before was laying near her suitcase. Grabbing for her phone, she quickly opened her messages to see if it would help jog her memory any. She had sent Ashley a text at 8pm telling her she missed Alex, and hoped that everything was going well. Ashley in return sent Beca a picture of Alex fast asleep and snuggled up with one of Beca's t-shirts.

 _"She insisted on sleeping with it. Everything's going great, she went to bed around 9. Will call you tomorrow morning. Love you! xo"_

There had also been a video Ashley had sent her at around 7:30. Alex was sitting on her lap in her pajamas, and Mike could be seen cooking breakfast in the background.

 _"Hi mommy! I miss you. Aunt Ashley says it's too early in California to call you, but you can call us when you wake up. Guess what mommy? I had no accidents last night! I miss you and I can't wait to see you. I promise I'm being a good girl. I love you! Bye!"_

Alex's tiny face pressed into the screen as she kissed it, and Beca thought back to all those sweet, slobbery kisses Alex would give her as a baby. It reminded her once more to make that call to the OBGYN. A tear rolled down her cheek as the video and picture tugged at her heart strings. Beca missed Alex so much that it actually hurt. She missed the snuggles, her giggles, her asking eight million questions a day, her hugs, and her kisses. She knew that Ashley and Mike were taking wonderful care of Alex, but Beca was going to be thrilled when she returned home to her girl.

Going through her other messages, she checked to see if she had text Jesse at all.

Immediately, shock washed over her as her mouth dropped open at the sight of the texts she had sent him the night before.

"Holy shit!" She whispered harshly. Beca had no memory of being this extremely forward and could only imagine what had happened between them after the texts had been sent. It certainly wouldn't have been a big deal if they had had phone sex, they were married after all, but it would have been the first time it had happened. She immediately scrawled out a message.

 _To: That Weirdo_

 _"Hey, good morning. Listen, SUPER important question for you. Umm...didwehavephonesexlastnight?"_

Beca didn't have to wait for long for his response, though it certainly was not the response she was expecting. Opening up the text, all Jesse had sent back were three red angry faces.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" She asked herself. Unsure of what was going on, she got out of bed, walked out to the balcony, and called him.

"Hi there."

His tone was even. Not necessarily flat or angry, but not exactly warm and fuzzy.

"Uh, hi." Beca answered back, feeling completely lost.

"To answer your question, no, we didn't have phone sex. _You_ had phone sex, I had a case of blue balls and a really cold shower."

Now she was even more confused than she was to begin with. Why the hell would Jesse have had blue balls?

"Dude what the hell happened last night? Cuz I'm like super lost right now." Beca informed Jesse, causing him to laugh.

"You sent me those texts Bec, then you told me you would call me in five minutes, then according to Stacie, you passed out."

Oh fuck. She couldn't have. Beca felt her stomach drop at the sound of his words, and guilt immediately washed over her knowing she got him all worked up and then left him high and dry.

"Babe, shit, I am _so_ sorry!" She apologized, knowing that wasn't going to do much.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to have a hard on the size of Texas?" Jesse hissed. Beca paused.

"Well...no, not really."

Jesse sighed. "It's fine, I took care of it, but I would much rather have taken care of it with you on the phone."

Beca took a shaky breath as her stomach filled with butterflies. "I'm sorry, if it's any consolation, I miss you like crazy, and I owe you like...ten blow jobs."

"Bec, you don't owe me anything. It's fine." Jesse assured her.

"I promise I'll make it up to you when I get home. I'd tell you how, but then we'd be right back in the same situation." She explained, unable to erase the smile from her face.

"God, I miss you. I'm about to head into this meeting, but call me later. And please, be careful. I love you baby."

"I love you too, I'll play nicely today. I can't wait to see you. Bye babe."

Beca hung up the phone and made her way back into the hotel room as Stacie was coming out of the bathroom.

"She lives!" Stacie remarked as she dried her hair with a bath towel. Beca rolled her eyes.

"The last thing I remember is that Cosmopolitan. Eighteen year old me is so embarassed that twenty four year old me can't hold her liquor."

Stacie laughed. "I'm pretty sure my favorite part of the evening was when I was changing you into pajamas and as I went to take your pants off you told me to watch where I was putting my hands because you're a happily married woman. Good news for Jesse, he'll never have to worry about you drunk cheating."

Beca smirked, feeling completely confident. "Jesse never has to worry about me any kind of cheating."

Stacie informed Beca that breakfast was on the way up, and that they needed to leave by 10:15. Nodding, Beca grabbed her phone and a towel and headed into the bathroom.

"Oh! And we have reservations for massages at six, and dinner with Tony and Jose at Angelini Osteria at eight."

Beca paused and turned back around. "Tony and Jose?"

"From the gay bar." Stacie reminded her. "Super sweet guys, you'll love them."

Beca nodded awkwardly. "Sure. I look forward to meeting them...again."

Making her way into the bathroom, Beca brushed her teeth, and sat down on the edge of the tub to make her phone call.

"Thank you for calling New Haven Obstetrics, this is Janice, how may I help you?"

"Yes, hi, my name is Rebeca Mitchell-Swanson, I'm a patient of Dr. Ruckman's. I'm calling to schedule an appointment to have my IUD removed..."

* * *

Beca was beyond exhausted as she pulled through the drive thru of Dunkin Donuts for an iced coffee. Caffeine was a given if she was going to get through the rest of the night.

She was exhausted, but she had done it. Beca had signed another singer to their record label, and she was eager to put together what was sure to be an incredible album that would leave people star struck at the sound coming out of a fifteen year olds mouth. Beca wasn't one to be full of herself, but she knew she had done well. The trip out to Los Angeles had been worth getting Zoey.

After three days of recording, dinners out, massages, bars and shopping, Stacie and Beca's flight had taken off that morning 10 minutes ahead of schedule, at 11:55am and flew into Minneapolis for an hour layover, giving the girls just enough time to use the bathroom, freshen up, and get on their connecting flight. After all was said and done, the girls walked out of LaGuardia Airport at 9:15 that night. With a forty minute drive back to Stacie's to pick up her car, and a thirty minute drive home, it was nearing 11 o'clock.

She had done nothing but travel the entire day, and while part of her was desperate for sleep, her hormones had other plans. She knew Jesse would have understood if she said she was tired, and would never dream of pushing her to have sex if it wasn't what she wanted in the moment, but it had been five days, she at least needed one round to take the edge off.

The streets were empty on the warm Saturday night in late June, and Beca made it home in record time as thoughts of being reunited with Jesse swirled through her head and she mustered up what little energy she had left in her.

Beca pulled into the driveway, and put the BMW in park. Finishing off the iced coffee, she put it back in the cup holder, unbuckled her seatbelt, and looked down at her outfit. Wearing a Chambray dress shirt, and a pair of black leggings with sandals, Beca stripped out of her thong and leggings, pulling both pieces of fabric down her freshly shaven legs. She was wasting no time tonight.

Beca grabbed her luggage, locked up the car, and made her way inside the warm and inviting home.

"Jess? Babe, I'm home..."


	7. Kisses Down Low

***Happy Hump day friends! I promise that cliffhanger was worth it, there was no way that could have only been one chapter ;) There is a ton of smut ahead, so if that's not your thing, walk away now. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, it brings such joy to see my work being recognized and appreciated. I hope you enjoy this chapter!***

 **Bekah-You're amazing.**

* * *

She was greeted with silence as she made her way inside the house and put her things down. The lighting throughout the house was dim and the atmosphere was completely calm. Beca was beginning to wonder if anyone was even home.

On the island, in the middle of the kitchen, sat a bouquet of red tulips in a crystal vase. Beca smiled as she picked up the note placed next to it.

 _"To not having to spend another night sleeping without each other. I love you."_

Next to the flowers was a picture Alex had drawn. Two stick figures were holding hands and smiling. In big, chunky letters, Alex had written out the words _"I love you Mommy. xo Alex"_

Beca was thrilled to finally be back home, and appreciated the warm welcome. She could feel her body relaxing as she took in the familiar sights and smells of home. It was going to be wonderful being back in her own bed and sleeping next to Jesse again.

She placed her suitcase at the bottom of the stairs, and made her way up. At the top of the stairs, she found Alex's door cracked slightly. Her _Frozen_ nightlight lit up the room softly, and Beca poked her head in to find her curled up in her bed, fast asleep. Her chest rose and fell evenly with each breath she took. Beca was beyond tempted to pull the covers up around her and kiss her forehead, but she stayed firmly in place near the door, fearing Alex would sense her presence and immediately wake up.

Beca shut her door gently and walked across the hall to her bedroom, still wondering where Jesse could be. Shutting the bedroom door, she sighed. Alex was in bed, so he obviously had to be around somewhere. She was about to step out onto the small balcony to check and see if he was in the pool or hot tub when the bathroom door opened, and he walked out. His hair was wet, and he wore just a towel wrapped around his waist, a trail of steam followed after him. Beca gasped in surprise. The two of them stood and stared, taking in the sight of each other after having been apart for five days.

"I thought you said midnight?" He whispered, caught off guard.

Beca couldn't stop staring, it was all she could do to get herself to talk. "I got in early." She whispered, so softly Jesse barely heard her.

He was intoxicated at the sight of her. Her denim, button down dress barely touched her knees, her legs were perfectly smooth, her flowing, mousey brown hair was beautifully straightened and framed around her face. Instantly his erection started to grow, and he thanked his lucky stars he wasn't wearing any clothes. Beca and Jesse stood in the middle of their bedroom, staring at each other, neither of them moving. Tentatively, Jesse took a few steps forward, closing the distance between the two of them. Standing in front of Beca, still staring, he reached out his hand to cup her cheek. Beca closed her eyes and sighed. And just like that, Jesse was on her.

He pushed her back up against the wall, and instantly, his lips and hands began to roam. Beca moaned softly as Jesse's lips kissed up and down her neck before stopping to suck on the skin at her pulse point. She knew he was going to leave a hickey, but she was too turned on to even care. Her arms wrapped around his neck and fisted his hair as her breathing quickly became heavy.

"Jess..." She whispered breathlessly, "Kiss me."

Immediately, his lips were pressed against her's, his tongue begging for entrance. Beca opened her mouth willingly and moaned lightly at the feeling of having his mouth against hers again.

Jesse lifted her up into his arms and backed her further into the wall as his towel dropped to floor on its own accord. Beca quickly wrapped her legs around his waist, and he could tell she wasn't wearing any panties. Fuck, he needed to be in her immediately, he couldn't wait. He prayed she was starting to get wet as he reached his hand down and slid two fingers through her folds. Beca whimpered against his mouth as the fire in her belly continued to rage.

"Baby, you're so wet already, so wet." Jesse whispered, causing Beca to release another moan.

"I need you, I can't wait anymore, I need you." He begged, feeling slightly guilty that he wasn't giving her more foreplay.

"It's okay, I'm ready." Beca assured him.

He bunched her dress up around her waist, and within seconds, he was pushing himself into her and filling her to capacity. Beca let out a moan as her head fell back.

"Oh, God." She panted. Jesse's mouth closed around her's, trying to stifle her moans.

He knew he wasn't going to last long, not when it was this incredible. Her moans were getting louder and he knew there was no way to keep her totally quiet. The way her nails were raking up and down his back and the way she tried to meet his thrusts even though she was backed up against the wall, was making it extremely difficult for him not to finish before her. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold off and knew he needed to aid her along. His hand slid down, and he pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing slow circles.

Beca nearly bit through her cheek to stop herself from crying out. The extra push was exactly what she needed, and her nails dug into Jesse's shoulders as her body raced to finish. She was so desperate to come it was almost painful.

As his lips returned back to her neck, Beca's legs clung to Jesse's hips, her breathing heavy in his ear. After two more powerful thrusts, she was there, and Jesse could feel her muscles gripping around him, making it harder for him to thrust in and out of her. He looked up at her face, so full of intense pleasure. Her eyes were slammed shut, her neck and chest were flushed, and her mouth hung open as she silently screamed. Seconds later, with a low grunt, he released into her, spilling his warm seed and finally finding his own relief.

Jesse rested his head in the crook of Beca's neck, panting heavily as he recovered from his orgasm. Beca's chest was heaving as she rubbed her hand over the back of his neck. She couldn't have spoken even if she wanted to. Jesse rubbed her hips and she nodded her head as she released her legs and slid down the wall, lying on the floor. He grabbed a pair of boxers from the dresser, and joined her.

"Hi." He whispered, moving stray pieces of hair out of her face.

"Hey." she replied, still trying to come down from her orgasm. "Jesus, we didn't even make it to the bed. I didn't even have time to get fully undressed."

Jesse chuckled. "I'm sorry, did you want me to stop?"

Beca glanced at him, smirking. "Not a chance in hell."

Jesse couldn't help but stare at her as he tried desperately to freeze her image in his brain. Five days apart had been way too long.

"I missed you." He reminded her.

Beca smiled. "I missed you too. No more trips that long, five days was too much."

"Way too much." Jesse agreed as he lightly peppered Beca's cheek with kisses.

"By the way, I made an appointment for Thursday morning at 10 o'clock."

Jesse's face lit up at the prospect of making another baby with Beca.

"That reminds me, Alex asked again tonight about where babies come from, I think it's definitely time to talk to her, we gotta tell her something babe."

Beca sighed. "You're right, we've put this off long enough. I just thought I'd have more time and you know she's not going to accept some bullshit cabbage patch answer."

"No, not _our_ kid. She's too damn smart for her own good." Jesse agreed.

Beca looked over to Jesse and smiled warmly before climbing into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and began to kiss up and down his neck.

"We got lucky with her, I can't wait for the next one." She whispered as she gently nibbled on his ear, her hands grazing his abs.

Jesse groaned. "Yeah? You wanna practice some more?"

Beca nodded. "Mmmhmm, I do." she answered as her lips made their way back to his.

Jesse eagerly opened his mouth as Beca's tongue slipped inside. He had missed this more than he could have ever imagined.

His hands slipped inside her dress as he began to massage her ass, eliciting a low moan from her.

"Definitely existent." He mumbled, thinking back to an earlier conversation when Beca had complained about having a non existent ass.

Beca smiled into the kiss. "Mmm...take me to bed this time."

Jesse pulled back and stared into her deep blue eyes. "With pleasure."

Climbing off of him, Beca took him by the hand and walked over to the king sized bed, with him trailing closely behind her. Pausing before they reached their destination, Jesse locked their bedroom door and smiled at her.

Beca laid on the bed offering all of her body up to Jesse. Crawling up toward her, he pressed his body into her's, and she pulled his lips back onto hers.

Jesse couldn't get enough of her. He was so excited to have her again that his hands didn't even know where to begin touching.

"Four more to go." He whispered against her lips as his right hand caressed her leg and slipped down to find her clit.

Beca whimpered. "Four what?"

His thumb rubbed softly against her clit as he slipped two fingers inside of her.

"Orgasms. I'm going to give you an orgasm for every day we were apart. Making up for lost time of course."

Her head fell back against the pillows as she cried out softly. His words alone nearly made her come again. Releasing her lips, he moved again to her neck as his fingers found her g-spot and began to rub it.

Beca, as a knee jerk reaction, practically screamed out. Her hips were rising off the bed and pushing into Jesse's fingers. As quickly as he could, his mouth was on hers, trying desperately to quiet her.

She whimpered and panted heavily against his lips. "Oh God, Oh God, you make me feel so good." She cried as her second orgasm exploded intensely through her body. Her toes curled, her arms tightened around his neck, and her hips continued to rock as she rode the wave. Beca had just finished off her second orgasm of the night, and she still hadn't even gotten undressed.

Laying back down, Beca ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to regain her breathing.

"Baby, you have got to be quieter, you're going to wake Alex." Jesse whispered as he kissed along her shoulder and worked to unbutton her dress.

"Yeah, maybe you need to be bad at this!" Beca hissed. Jesse paused and looked up at her.

"Really? You really want me to be bad at this?"

"It would certainly keep me quiet!"

He pulled the dress off of her body and threw it to the ground, leaving her in just her lacy black bra. "Looks like we'll have to use a pillow then." He said between kisses.

Jesse reached behind Beca to unhook her bra, but as his hands skimmed her back, he could feel no hooks. Pulling back from her collarbone, He lifted her to the side gently and looked at her back to see if he was missing something.

"Becs, where the hell are your bra hooks?" He questioned, causing Beca to laugh.

"In the front."

Jesse's brow furrowed. "What the fuck? They make bras with hooks in the front? And you wore it tonight? You wear no panties, but a bra that hooks in the front?"

Smiling seductively, she pinched the clasp and it released, spilling her chest out. Jesse groaned heavily as his favorite part of Beca's body was revealed to him once again.

Her nipples were already hardened after all the stimulation her body had been through in the past hour.

Jesse bent down and closed his lips around her left nipple as his hand began to massage her right breast. Pulling, tweaking, sucking, the sensations against her chest were powerful. She gripped Jesse's hair, scratching his scalp as his mouth did amazing things to her body. Being reunited with Jesse once again made her realize just how much she had missed being with him.

Beca and Jesse really were unique in the sense that they rarely fought, and truly did enjoy spending time with each other, in bed and otherwise. On the rare occasions that they were separated, a great deal of the time was spent wishing they were back with each other. The couple was just as in love as they were on their wedding day, perhaps even more so.

Jesse's lips left Beca's chest and began to trail down her stomach, going further and further South until they found their way to her inner thighs. Her stomach muscles began to tighten in anticipation of what she knew was coming next.

"I believe you missed this on your trip." Jesse informed her as he ran his nose along the apex of her thighs before dipping his tongue into her warm wet core. Beca gasped and grabbed for a pillow to muffle her moans as Jesse's mouth was a bit preoccupied. Beca wasn't even sure her body could handle another orgasm, however, much to her surprise, she could feel it building. She wrapped her legs around Jesse's neck as she felt his mouth close around her clit. He gently started sucking before slowly increasing the intensity. Beca gasped when he started sucking harder and harder, all the while his hands pinched her nipples and massaged her breasts. Her back arched as she felt herself closer and closer.

"Make me come, please make me come." She begged, her hands gripping and pulling at his hair. The sight of his head in between her thighs, feasting on her, had her so turned on, she knew she was going to finish any second. Jesse's tongue began to circle and flick at her bud, easily bringing her to her third orgasm of the night. When he heard her ragged breathing and felt her body starting to shake, he closed his lips again, sucking hard, he wanted every last drop of what she had to give. In turn, Beca rocked against his face, her legs wrapping so tightly around his neck she briefly feared he couldn't breathe.

As her climax soon began to slow down, Beca tried to regain her breathing, but it was clear Jesse wasn't going to stop. He wanted her to have back to back orgasms. And while it would have felt incredible and she was beyond grateful, Beca's body was extremely sensitive. Jesse's continued sucking was starting to become painful, and she was having a hard time catching her breath. The sensations were overpowering, making it difficult to put her thoughts into words.

Letting out a high pitched grunt, she gently tried pushing his head away from her center with what little energy she had left in her. She wasn't even sure he would understand that she was trying to get him to stop.

He did.

Instantly he pulled his head back and looked up at her.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, his voice full of concern. Beca shook her head.

"I need to stop." She said, her breathing ragged, her chest flushed an intense red.

He brought his body flush with hers, his knuckles gently caressed her cheek. "Stopping, right now. Are you okay? Did I hurt you at all?"

She shook her head again. "No, it's nothing like that. Just..." She was still finding it slightly difficult to talk. "Really intense. My body is super sensitive and I just need a minute to come down. I'm sorry, I-"

He immediately cut her off. "Hey, no apologies necessary. You don't ever have to apologize for asking me to stop Bec, I don't care how far into it we are. If something doesn't feel right, or you're uncomfortable, I want you to tell me to stop. I don't ever want to push you to do something you're not ready for. All you have to say is stop, or push me away, or grunt, whatever. I'll always stop, I promise."

She nodded her head. Jesse had always been sensitive to her needs. He had taken care of her, loved her, and always made sure she knew she was appreciated. Hearing him tell her that she was always free to stop sex or his sexual advances made her love him even more. She always knew she had that right, of course, but it had previously been unspoken, and up until this moment, Beca had never made an attempt to stop a sex act. She hadn't even said a word, but Jesse instantly stopped what he was doing. It was just another reminder of how lucky she was to have gotten him.

"I love you." She reminded him as she climbed under the sheets.

"I love you too, so, so much." He whispered before leaning down to lightly brush her lips with his. "Do you wanna go to sleep? You must be exhausted." He glanced over at the clock, it was almost one in the morning. He knew she had been traveling all day.

"You're not getting off that easy. I want to feel you inside of me again, I just needed a minute to rest."

His hand rubbed up and down her side. "You sure?"

"Yeah." She whispered, so softly it was barely audible. She pulled his head back down to her so she could kiss him once more.

Things were much slower this time around. It wasn't about lust anymore, it was about love, it was about reconnecting with each other after being apart. As Beca kissed Jesse, her heart beat wildly, her nails scratched lightly against his abdomen, her breathing began to pick up again, she knew he was the only person she wanted to be doing this with. Jesse was the only person she wanted to be this exposed and open with.

Reaching down to collect some of her residual arousal, she coated him with her fluids, causing him to moan against her mouth as her hand ran up and down his rock hard dick.

She then guided him into her, lifting off of the bed slightly as he filled her up.

He looked down at her as she pulled back and rested her head into the pillow.

"You doing okay?" He asked, wanting to hear it from her once more.

"Yeah, I'm okay, you're doing good." She assured him.

Nodding his head, he leaned back down to kiss her as he slowly pumped in and out of her. Her legs wrapped around his, and she massaged his ass, pulling him into her as deep as he would go.

The lights were off this time around, and the moon cast a soft glow against his face. Beca looked up at him and smiled before pulling him down to her once more. She was beyond exhausted, but still, she felt so good. She could hardly believe it, but she knew she was well on her way to another orgasm.

Together, they moaned softly against each others lips, breathing each other in, inhaling each others sounds. It was an emotionally intense session, bringing the two of them closer together, and reminding them how much they missed each other.

"Can I touch you, or are you still sensitive?" Jesse asked.

"It's okay, you can touch." Beca said, her voice confident and sure.

Reaching down, he began to rub, and could feel Beca's nails digging into his back as she hissed in pleasure.

"I'm close." She whispered. Jesse nodded his head, picking up the pace a bit. Not long after, Beca moaned against his lips as her body began to shake with pleasure. Her insides gripped him, milking him, causing him to explode inside of her. He bit down gently onto her shoulder and released a moan before collapsing on top of her, both of them breathing heavily.

It was a night neither of them would soon forget.

* * *

Beca's eyes shot open at the sound of tiny fists banging on their bedroom door.

"Locked? No fair! Let me in! I know Mommy's in there, I saw the BMW in the garage!" Alex yelled.

Sitting up, Beca grabbed the clock on the night table, 6:32AM.

Jesse began to shift in bed. 6:30 in the morning, there was no way this was possible right now. Alex never got out of bed before eight o'clock. Most days it was more like 8:30 or 9 o'clock before she made her way down the stairs.

Jesse and Beca had been having sex and talking the entire night. By the time they finally fell asleep, it was four in the morning. Beca knew she would be tired, but she had expected at least four or five hours of sleep. As it was all she had gotten a measly two and a half hours.

"This cannot be happening right now." She groaned. "Jesse, when the hell did you put her to bed last night?"

"It was 9:30, no earlier than usual, I have no idea how or why she's up right now." He said as he sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes.

"You have got to let her know that 6:30 on a Sunday morning is not a waking hour! I'm running on two and a half hours sleep after a full day of traveling!" Beca reminded him.

Jesse yawned. "I'm sorry, I don't recall you screaming no last night or early this morning...well, except that one time."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly screaming Jesse either! Though God may have been mentioned a time or two."

"Hey! It's me! Alex Swanson, your only child! I want my mommy, I can hear her talking, let me at her, let me at her!" Alex continued to yell.

Beca looked down at herself. "Shit, we forgot to throw pajamas on. We've got to get dressed. I haven't even showered! We've got to distract her. Do something!"

Jesse tried his best.

"Uhh Alex...did you go potty yet?" Jesse called out as he scrambled to throw a pair of boxers on.

"Yes, I peed!" Alex answered back. Jesse grabbed a white undershirt from the dresser throwing it over his head as Beca quickly threw on a pair of panties.

"Did you wash your hands?" He asked.

"Yes...with soap!" She replied.

"Did you wash your face?" Beca asked as she tried to get into a pair of soffee shorts.

"Yes! Just open the door!" She said as she continued to bang on the door.

Beca glanced at Jesse. "Alex, how long have you been up?"

"I don't know, I can't tell time!"

Beca was scrambling to get a shirt on. "Jesse, I'm running out of stall tactics!" She hissed.

"Did you brush your teeth?" Jesse called out.

"Yes and I used mouthwash too! If you don't let me in soon, I'm breaking the door down! Aunt Amy taught me how to _'_ _release da kraken'_ and I'm not afraid to use it!"

Beca sprayed some perfume on her in lieu of a shower.

"Okay, go unlock the door." She told Jesse, feeling as ready as she was going to be. Looking down, she could see Alex's hands reaching under the door.

"Jesse wait!" Beca screamed, causing him to jump.

"What! What's wrong?!"

"Her fingers are under the door." Beca explained.

"Alex, watch your fingers, I'm opening the door." Jesse announced.

The second the handle was pressed down, Alex bolted in, jumping right into Beca's arms. Alex wrapped her tiny arms around her mother's neck so tightly, Beca momentarily couldn't breathe.

Suddenly not caring about anything else but holding her daughter in her arms, Beca showered her with kisses.

"Hi peanut." Beca said as Alex pulled back to look at her.

"You locked me out! I just wanted to love you, and you locked me out!" Alex pouted causing Beca and Jesse to laugh.

"I'm very sorry, Daddy forgot to unlock it before we went to bed." Beca informed her.

"Why did you lock it in the first place?" Alex asked.

"Because." Jesse said as he came over and kissed Alex on the forehead. "Sometimes Mommy and Daddy need some privacy. It doesn't mean we love you any less, just that we need to spend some alone time together."

"It's family day today!" Alex announced, moving on to the next topic.

"It is family day." Beca answered.

Whenever Jesse or Beca traveled, the day after they got back was always reserved for spending time together, just the three of them. It was a time to reconnect with each other, and ignore the rest of the world, shutting off phones, and not dealing with work or anything else.

"Listen though, it's really early, and Mommy has not had time to shower yet. So if you go downstairs, Daddy can get you some breakfast."

"That would be very nice of him, but no thanks, I want to spend time with you. I'll go in the shower with you!" Alex insisted.

Beca glanced at Jesse.

"Come on, you can help me make blueberry pancakes." Jesse insisted, trying to pry her from Beca's neck. Alex's grip tightened.

"I want my mommy!" Alex demanded.

At 6:30 on a Sunday morning, running on two and a half hours of sleep, it simply wasn't a battle Beca was willing to fight. She sighed, giving up.

"It's fine, I'll manage. Come on spider monkey, lets go get changed."

* * *

By two o'clock that afternoon, Beca could barely keep her eyes open. As she sat with Jesse and Alex watching Lilo and Stitch, she was seconds from falling asleep on Jesse's chest. She had been fighting all day to stay awake. It was a good reminder of what those first few weeks with a newborn were like.

Jesse kissed the top of her head. "Babe, why don't you go upstairs and take a nap."

"It's family day." Beca protested, trying her hardest to fight against the exhaustion. She didn't want to disappoint Alex.

"Bec, you can hardly function right now. You need to sleep."

"Mmmhmm" Beca whispered. Jesse continued to stare at her.

"Okay, okay, I'm going, I'll be back in thirty minutes." She finally relented, though Jesse knew once she fell asleep, she would sleep for at least two hours.

Beca kissed Alex on the forehead, and made her way upstairs.

Not even caring that all their bedding was currently in the dryer, Beca grabbed a blanket from the linen closet and fell onto the bed. She knew she would be asleep within ten minutes.

But as she laid there, warm and cozy, she couldn't help but feel someone's presence. Opening her eyes, she saw Alex and Jesse in the doorway.

"I tried." He sighed.

Beca smiled. "It's fine, come on over baby."

Alex crawled up onto the bed and into Beca's arms.

"Where did the sheets go?" Alex asked.

Beca thought about it for a second. "Daddy spilled coffee, so we had to throw them in the washer."

Alex looked up at Jesse. "This is why we don't eat in our rooms Daddy."

"Very true." Jesse said as he laughed. "You okay if I hop in the shower?" He asked, turning his attention to Beca.

"Yeah, were fine, you go." Beca insisted.

Nodding his head, he kissed both girls on the tops of their heads and grabbed a towel before heading into the bathroom.

Beca was about to close her eyes again when she remembered the conversation she needed to have with Alex.

"Hey peanut, I'm glad your here, you and I need to have a talk."

Alex looked up. "We do?"

Beca nodded. "I know you've been asking a lot about where babies come from. It's a very good question, and Mommy just needed some time to think about how to answer. But I'm ready now, and I think it's time that we have this talk."

Beca took a deep breath and thought about how she wanted to start this. She did not just want to write the question off and give an easy answer. Beca wanted to always be honest with Alex and have her know that she could ask her anything. She was going to tell her the facts, but how she was going to present was going to be the hard part.

"Okay..." She began. "When a girl meets a boy, and they fall in love, they-"

Alex cut her off. "Mommy, it doesn't always happen that fast. 'Cause Daddy says that he had to work _really_ hard to make you love him."

Beca couldn't help but laugh. "Good point. Okay, so after a girl meets a boy, and the boy works endlessly to embarrass her and make her fall for his charming ways and good looks, they fall in love." Beca continued.

"I like this story, keep going." Alex piped up again.

Beca glanced down at her. "I will if you stop interrupting me."

"Sorry, keep going."

"So after the boy and girl fall in love, sometimes they might decide that they want to make a baby, because they have so much love between them, that they want to share that love. And so, mommies and daddies, to make a baby, they have a special cuddle that's just for adults. This special cuddle is a way that mommies and daddies show how much they love each other."

Alex was playing with Beca's hair when she stopped suddenly and asked "What kind of special cuddle?"

Beca should have expected that her daughter would want more information than she was giving her, after all, Alex was the Queen of twenty questions. She had an innate desire to learn about anything and everything. Her young little mind was a steel trap and not much got past her.

Beca took a deep breath and thought about Alex. She wasn't at all stupid and she wondered where Alex thought babies came from. It was worth a shot. If nothing else it gave her a little more time to come up with a better answer.

"Well...where do you think babies come from?"

Asking Alex the question would let Beca know how much she knew and how far she should take the conversation.

"I'm just a little kid, but I think babies grow from seeds, like flowers."

Beca was impressed. While Alex wasn't completely correct, she wasn't far off either.

"But does that mean that the garden is in your tummy?"

Beca laughed a little. "Yeah, baby. Why?"

"Cause Sophie from play group's mom is having a baby and her belly is so big it looks like she's gonna pop!"

Alex was quiet for quite a few minutes, and Beca was anxious to know what was going on in her mind. "So you and Daddy made me because you love each other?"

"Yes. I love your daddy very much, even if he did have to work really hard to get me to realize it." She answered. Alex looked back up at Beca again.

Beca and Alex were laying nose to nose when Alex reached her tiny hand to stroke Beca's cheek.

"Are you and Daddy going to make anymore babies?"

It was a hard question, but Beca wasn't about to explain to Alex that she and Jesse were already trying. Who knew how long it would take. "We'd like to. Would you like that?"

Alex shrugged. "Mommy, can I just lay with you?"

"Do you have anymore questions?" Beca asked.

"No, not right now. Right now I just want to hold you." Alex answered.

Beca looked down at her beautiful daughter. "I want to hold you too."

Beca wrapped her arms around Alex, who rested against her chest. It wasn't long before both girls were fast asleep wrapped up in each other's arms.


	8. These Dreams

***I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it was difficult to write, but I believe this is one of my favorite chapters yet. Kleenex warning, grab the tissues!***

 ***DaBoy1994, thank you for what was one of the sweetest reviews I have ever received. Thank you for following me through the journey of Give Me Everything Tonight and Without you. I so appreciate you taking the time to read and review***

 ***To the guest asking about Alex's age, in the world of this story, she's a little over four years old. Her birthday is May 19th, 2013. And yes, she's meant to seem a bit advanced. While Alex does have plenty of opportunities to spend time with kids her own age, the majority of her days are spent with adults.***

 ***Bekah, thank you for always bouncing ideas with me and for loving this story as much as I do.***

 ***Please review, I love hearing from you!***

* * *

 _August 2017_

Beca awoke to Jesse's hands and lips on her, and she could feel his erection poking into her back as he spooned her from behind. Her eyes fluttered as they adjusted to the sunlight peeking through the blinds.

He moved her hair to the side as he kissed along her neck and shoulder while his hand pushed her tank top up and he began to stroke her stomach.

"Good morning beautiful." He whispered in her ear. Beca groaned in response. Her cramps were setting in, and she could tell she was wet between her legs. And not the good kind of wet. Her period was right on time.

She turned to tell Jesse that right now was not a good time when he captured her lips in a kiss, clearly not caring about morning breath. Beca sighed into the kiss. She would have loved nothing more than to have morning sex with her husband, but it wasn't going to happen, she just felt too sick.

Jesse climbed on top of her and settled between her legs. She didn't have the chance to say much of anything. As he continued to kiss her and pull on her bottom lip with his teeth, his hand made it's way down south and attempted to push into her shorts when Beca stopped the advance by grabbing his hand.

"Mmm...Jess, stop." She breathed against his lips.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "What's wrong?"

"I just got my period, and I'm really uncomfortable right now. In fact, these cramps kinda make me want to puke. I'm sorry." Beca explained.

"Shit, babe, I'm sorry." Jesse apologized, climbing off of her.

"It's okay, I just need to get cleaned up."

"Can I get you anything?" He asked.

Beca climbed out of bed and felt gravity bring everything downward. She was going to need a shower.

"Yeah, some ibuprofen and water would be great." She answered.

Jesse kissed her on the forehead. "Be right back."

Beca went into the bathroom to pee and get cleaned up. As she pulled her shorts and underwear down and sat on the toilet, she sighed, then stopped herself immediately.

"Really, it's been a month. Just stop." She reminded herself.

They had only been trying for a month, and deep down, Beca knew it was going to take a while. Though patience had never been her strong point before, she had no other choice. She and Jesse had a discussion after her IUD had been removed about not putting any pressure on themselves. There would be no charting, no looking at a calendar to figure out when ovulation was happening, etc. They would have sex as they normally did, and when the time was right, they would have another baby. She was just about to put a tampon in when the door opened and Alex burst in causing Beca to jump slightly.

Jesse immediately grabbed her and pulled her out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Beca could hear their conversation through the door.

"What's the rule about closed doors in this house?" Jesse asked.

Alex sighed. "Always knock first."

"Exactly. Mommy is in the bathroom, she needs her privacy. You can talk to her when she's done." Jesse reiterated. They had really been working with Alex on what privacy meant, and how important it was to knock when a door was closed.

"But it's dance recital day! What if mommy forgot!" Alex replied, defending her actions.

"Trust me" Jesse explained. "No one has forgotten, you haven't let us."

"Just another day in the life around here." Beca said to herself as she shook her head. She was about to hop in the shower just as her phone rang. Amy was calling.

"Hey Ames." Beca answered.

"Rebeca Mitchell-Swanson!" Amy yelled.

"Amy Allen." Beca replied, unsure of why Amy was using her full name.

"Why in the hell didn't you tell me what pregnancy was really like?!" Amy boomed.

Beca was completely confused. "What? Amy, it's 8:30 on Saturday morning, I just woke up. I'm not firing on all cylinders yet, so I need you to be a bit more specific."

"Amy scoffed. "Yeah, it's 8:30 in the morning, I've been awake for exactly 37 minutes, and I've already peed six times and puked three. The books said this morning sickness shit was supposed to end already! And hell, I wouldn't even call it morning sickness, it's more like all day sickness. My boobs are killing me, I've got horrific hemorrhoids, and half the time, I can't figure out whether I want to screw Bumper sixteen different ways or punch him square in the face for doing this to me. What the fuck is happening!?"

Beca could not stop laughing at Amy's outburst.

"This shit is no joke Flatbutt!"

"Pregnancy Amy, pregnancy is happening." Beca explained.

"Where's my glow, my cute baby bump, and the little kicks? I feel like shit!" She whined.

"Amy, I'm sorry, you just have to give it time. The first trimester is shitty for everyone, hell, I actually threw up _on_ Jesse one time. Eventually it does get better, I promise. The morning sickness will soon fade, and your hormones will adjust. Then, you'll just want to have sex all the time." Beca said as she started to wash her face.

"Oh fantastic, because my libido wasn't already high enough!" Amy complained.

Beca laughed. "I'm sure it was. Listen, are you and Bumper coming this afternoon?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course we are! I might have a barf bag in hand, but we wouldn't miss little butt's performance for the world. I'll see you then Bec."

"Bye Ames."

Beca hung up the phone and finished up with her morning routine before making her way downstairs into the kitchen where Jesse and Alex were finishing up with their breakfast.

"It's dance recital day!" Alex announced, as if anyone could have forgotten. Still, Beca made her excited face just the same as she scooped Alex into her arms.

"It is dance recital day! Are you going to give us your best moves?"

"You know it! I gots it all up in my brain, because I'm super smart!" Alex said, excitement oozing from her voice.

"You _are_ super smart." Beca agreed as she kissed her and set her down.

Alex went to throw her food in the trash when she paused briefly and looked up at Beca. "Everyone will be there to see me, right?"

"Everyone will be there." Beca promised.

* * *

 _Performing Arts Center of Connecticut_

 _1:50pm_

Stacie was talking to Alex as she finished applying her makeup, trying to distract her as Beca paced back and forth. Alex Swanson was an incredibly intuitive child who was constantly watching, and listening, even when people thought she wasn't. Stacie watched as Alex's eyes looked over to where her mother was and followed her pacing. Not wanting her to think anything was wrong, Stacie knew she had to step in.

"So Alex...do you know all of your dance moves?" Stacie asked.

"Duh! I've been practicing all summer!" Alex informed her. "Aunt CeeCee you're gonna watch me right?"

Stacie applied the glitter to her face with a blush stick. "Of course baby girl, I'll be watching."

"And Uncle Scott too?"

"Uncle Scott too, we'll be in the audience. Look at this face, you are the prettiest little girl I have ever seen." Stacie said as she turned Alex around in the chair so she could see herself.

"Where the fuck is she?!" Beca hissed through gritted teeth as Cynthia Rose ran backstage.

Immediately Cynthia Rose put her hands up, as if this was going to calm Beca down. "I don't know." She said, releasing a breath.

Beca threw her hands in the air. "Well somebody needs to find her! For God's sake, Aubrey is here! Connor and Caroline are a month old and she made it. Do you have any idea what Alex is going to do if she finds out her Godmother missed her first dance recital? It's going to kill her. It's going to kill me! I do not want Alex going through that."

Cynthia Rose tried her best to help calm Beca down. "I know, believe me, I know. Come on, let's get a drink of water, and take a breath."

To say that Beca was stressed was a complete understatement. She was hormonal, she was upset, and as Jessica had just come backstage to announce the show was starting in five minutes, she was one hundred percent sure Chloe wasn't coming. Beca was brimming with anger. It was one thing to be upset with her, it was however an entirely different situation to be upset with Alex or to take out her anger on her. She had promised Alex months ago that she would be here today, and she had broken that promise.

Many years before, Chloe had told Beca that she'd never make a promise she had no intention of keeping. Well, today, Chloe had officially broken two promises...and two hearts. Now Beca and Jesse were going to be left to pick up the pieces. Beca had to take a long deep breath and remind herself to be strong for Alex's sake.

Beca walked over to where Alex was sitting in a swivel chair. She was absolutely beautiful. Alex was glowing, and her steel blue eyes sparkled in a way Beca wasn't quite sure she'd seen before. Her hair was up in a perfectly neat bun with red ribbon wrapped around it. Her costume was a bright red sequined leotard with a matching, short red tulle skirt with gold trim. Her first performance was for tap, and then she would need to change for her jazz routine. Beca had never seen her daughter look so grown up before.

She bent down in front of Alex and took her hands in her own. "Hey, I want you to know how proud Daddy and I are, okay? You're going to do an awesome job, and were so excited to watch. Do your best, and don't forget to have fun, okay?"

Alex nodded her head. "I will."

Beca scooped her up into her arms. "I love you Alexandra." She reminded her.

"I love _you_ mommy."

Beca couldn't fight the tear that slipped down her face. Kissing Alex on her cheek, she handed her off to Jessica and walked back to her seat with Stacie.

Jesse could tell Beca had been crying as she sat down next to him, but knew better than to mention it. Instead, he took her hand and laced it through his own before bringing her hand up to kiss it. Beca didn't look at him, she just squeezed tightly.

Alex's tap class was the fourth group up. Jesse geared up the camcorder and Beca took a breath, hoping all went well.

The curtain opened and the spotlights came on as " _It's in his kiss"_ filled the auditorium. Beca didn't even try to fight the tears that brimmed to the surface. Alex was just as confident as always. From the first note, she knew her steps. With a big smile on her face, she followed through with every move she'd been taught, and her expressions were priceless.

Thirty seconds into the song, one of the girls began to cry and ran off the stage. Chelsea, Alex's dance teacher stood behind the curtain doing the dance routine in case the other girls needed help, but as Alex knew exactly what she was doing, they simply followed her.

Jesse had a huge smile on his face as he filmed, feeling extremely proud of his young daughter who always seemed to follow through with anything she put her mind to.

The song ended and the girls took a bow before running off stage.

Jesse turned to look at Beca. "That's our daughter. She's perfect, she's incredible, she's...that was amazing!"

Beca smiled through her tears as she leaned over and kissed Jesse. "That's our girl."

"She's everything I could have asked for and then some." He whispered as he wiped a tear falling from her cheek.

Beca and Jesse's friends were all smiling and congratulating them. Alex had done a phenomenal job.

Three songs later, Alex was back out again with her jazz group, which was slightly more put together than her tap group. while Alex still shined, knowing all her dance moves, the other girls were also on point.

In a layered purple and black sequined leotard, the girls performed to " _Jumpin' Jack Flash"_ Alex stood out though, not because she was Beca and Jesse's daughter but because she smiled her infectious smile, the one that could light up any room.

Halfway through the song, Beca noticed Alex's attention waver slightly as her eyes searched through the audience. Though it lasted for less than thirty seconds, Beca caught it. She was proud that Alex quickly shook it off and was back into the dance without so much as a second thought. Her face was lit up in a huge smile, and it was obvious that Alex was completely comfortable on the stage and in front of a crowd full of people. Beca could tell she was doing something that she loved and believed in.

The show came to an end, and all the dancers took their places on the stage to be congratulated for all their hard work. Alex's first recital had been a huge hit, and Beca and Jesse could not have been more proud as they made their way to the stage to get her.

Alex came running into Beca's arms as soon as she saw her. Beca instantly picked her up and spun her around.

"You did so good, we are so proud of you!" Beca stated, kissing Alex's cheek.

"Listen baby girl, Broadway called, one of their Rockette's broke her foot, think you would want to fill in?" Jesse joked. Alex rolled her eyes at him.

"Daddy, you're so silly! I'm too young to be on Broadway!" Alex informed him.

"Maybe too young now, but I don't know, you could have a future..." Aubrey added with a smile.

Alex was full of energy and excitement. She loved being in the spotlight and having her whole family together. She went from person to person, being showered with love and congratulations. Then, she remembered. Making her way back to her parents, Alex tugged on her mother's dress. Beca bent down.

"Where's Aunt Chloe and Uncle Luke?" She asked.

Beca looked at Jesse, knowing the question was coming, and yet still so unsure of how to answer. She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Jesse picked Alex up into his arms.

"Sweetheart, I'm really sorry, but Aunt Chloe and Uncle Luke couldn't make it tonight." Jesse informed her. Alex's smile immediately deflated.

"Oh...did something come up?"

Jesse glanced over at Beca, who nodded her head. "I don't know honey, we haven't talked with them yet but I'm sure we'll find out soon."

Alex nodded her head. "Hey, Daddy, did you see me tumble?! I did it!"

"You must certainly did!" Jesse's eyes sparkled.

Beca stood there and closed her eyes for a moment. She watched as Alex accepted the defeat and tried to move past it. But as a mother, Beca knew she was devastated.

* * *

"And they lived happily ever after. The end." Beca said as she closed the _Sleeping Beauty_ book. Alex, who was pressed up against Beca's chest, looked up at her.

"I like stories with happy endings." Alex announced.

"Me too." Beca replied, stroking Alex's cheek. "Did you have fun today?"

Alex nodded. "Mmmhmm."

It was a short reply, and the room fell back into silence again as Alex laid on Beca's chest. Beca could hear Alex's breathing and the chirping of the crickets outside.

Beca knew something was off. Bedtime was one of her favorite times of the day, not because it meant Alex going to sleep, but because it was a chance for Beca and Alex to spend time together talking and catching up about the day. Alex, per her usual self, would ask dozens of questions, and chatter endlessly, getting her tendency to ramble from her father. Tonight though, she had little to say. She didn't say one word until Beca finished the story.

"Hey, how about tomorrow, you and Daddy and I go see a show in New York?" Beca suggested, hoping that might cheer her up. Her face lit up at the prospect.

"Can we?" She asked excitedly.

"Absolutely. We'll make a day of it." Beca answered.

Curling up into her covers, Alex smiled.

"Do you know how much I love you?" Beca asked.

"You love me all the way to the moon and back again." Alex replied happily.

"All the way to the moon and back again." Beca whispered before kissing Alex on the forehead and tucking her in.

"Alex, is there anything you want to talk to me about?" Beca questioned. She knew she was upset about Chloe not being at her recital, but other than her question after the show, she hadn't brought the subject up at all.

Alex shook her head. "No, not really."

Beca wasn't about to push the subject. If Alex didn't want to talk about it, she didn't have to. She would talk when she was ready and not a moment sooner.

"Okay then. Sleep well baby, I love you."

She got up out of the bed, turned her light off, and her nightlight on, and made her way out into the hall.

"Mommy?" Alex asked before Beca could walk out of the room.

Beca paused at the door before turning around. "Yeah?

"I can ask you anything, right?"

Alex asked roughly two hundred questions a day and Beca answered every single one of them. Though it could be exhausting at times, Beca wanted to make sure that no matter how insignificant the question, she would always answer it. And, she had a feeling she knew what this question was about.

"Anything." She reminded her as she stood in the door frame. "You can always ask me anything."

Alex was quiet for a few seconds and Beca could see the tears forming in her eyes. "What did I do to make Aunt Chloe not love me anymore?" She asked softly.

Beca's eyes closed instantly as Alex's words hit her like a dagger directly to her heart. Immediately she walked back over to her bed as Alex began to sob. Beca's heart shattered into pieces.

"Come 'mere sweet girl, come 'mere." Beca whispered through her own tears. She pulled Alex into her lap. As Alex buried her face into Beca's chest, her tears soaked her shirt. Beca kissed the top of her head repeatedly as she wrapped her arms protectively around her daughter's tiny frame. She had wished more than anything that she could have shielded her from this pain.

"Alex, look at me please. Look at mommy." Beca insisted. Alex lifted her head and looked into her mother's eyes. "You did nothing wrong, do you hear me? This is not your fault, I don't ever want you to think that. Ever. I don't know exactly what's going on with Aunt Chloe right now, but whatever it is, it is not your fault. Aunt Chloe loves you. She might be going through a really hard time right now, and have difficulty showing you that she loves you, but she does." Beca tried to explain.

"I miss her. I'm sorry she's so sad, I wish I could give her a hug." Alex replied, tears washing down her face.

"I know you do baby, I know." Beca said, wiping Alex's tears away. "Mommy's going to go over and check up on Aunt Chloe tonight and see what's going on, okay?"

Alex nodded her head.

"You be mommy's big, brave girl tonight. Can you do that for me?" Beca asked.

"Yes, I can, I'll be your big girl." She answered.

Beca hugged her tightly. "No one will ever love you like I do Alexandra. Never forget that." She whispered.

Alex's tiny arms wrapped tightly around Beca's neck before pulling back from her and laying back down into the pillows.

"Mommy, will you ever stop loving me?"

Beca tried her best to smile through her tears. "Never. Never ever. You are the greatest gift I have ever received, and I will love you forever and ever. Nothing you could do would make me ever love you any less. I promise. You and I will always have a special bond. Do you know why?"

Alex shook her head.

"Because you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."

Alex smiled, feeling a tiny bit better, and looked over to her stuffed animals, picking up her stuffed Eeyore.

"Here Mommy, will you give this to Aunt Chloe? Eeyore makes me feel better when I'm sad." Alex explained, clutching the stuffed animal.

"Alex, Eeyore is very special to you, you sleep with him every night. Are you sure you want to do this?" Beca checked.

"Aunt Chloe needs him more than I do right now." She said, as she handed him over.

Beca kissed Alex once more. "Try and get some rest sweetheart, I'll be here when you wake up."

They exchanged 'I love you's' once more, and Beca closed the door.

The second she was out of Alex's sight, her emotions came pouring out of her. She had been faced with one of the toughest questions she had ever been asked. To look into her daughter's tearful eyes and have her ask why her Godmother no longer loved her, had torn her apart inside. She wanted so badly to take Alex's pain from her. And for her then to give up her favorite comfort item to someone whom she felt needed it more, proved that at four years old, Alex was more selfless than most grown adults.

Once the sadness began to subside, anger set in. Beca was beyond furious.

Stomping down the stairs, she went straight to the kitchen to look for her keys and her bag. Jesse, who was cleaning up from the dinner party they had had with everyone after Alex's recital, immediately looked up and took in her mood.

He stood and watched as Beca threw papers, searching and searching.

"Damnit Jesse! Where the fuck are my keys?!" She yelled harshly. She was so angry she could barely think straight. Jesse was taken back by her outburst.

He knew she had been upset and preoccupied throughout the evening, but now, she was downright pissed. Sure, Jesse had seen Beca in a bad mood many times throughout the years, but this level of anger was unlike her, he knew something more had to have happened.

"Bec, baby take a breath."

Beca looked up at him. Her hair was disheveled, and her mascara, mixed with her tears, ran down her face.

"Don't call me ' _baby'_ right now. I need the fucking keys so I can drive up to Chloe's and beat her ass!" She yelled.

"Okay, let's talk about this for a minute." He said softly, trying to think of anything to say to her other than 'calm down' knowing that would only upset her more. Jesse had endless patience, and it took a lot to get him to ever even come close to raising his voice. He was calm, patient, and level headed. Over the years, he had defused Beca's anger many a time. And clearly, she was going to need his calming presence to bring her down.

"What happened up there?" He asked.

"Alex thinks Chloe doesn't love her anymore. I had to sit up there for the past ten minutes and watch her cry on my chest because she thinks that she did something to Chloe to make her hate her." Beca explained, her tone still coming out harshly.

Up in her room, Alex could hear Beca and Jesse talking. She laid in bed, unsure of whether to get up or not.

"Mommy told me to be her big girl." She reminded herself, staying put for a little bit longer. She looked over at her stuffed animals.

"Big girls make sure they don't get found." She whispered as she grabbed her bear and quietly opened her door. She hid behind the hallway table and sat down on the floor as she looked to her bear. "We have to be extra quiet, so they don't hear us."

"I know that had to be hard for you to watch, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that Chloe has been acting like a complete bitch and has hurt our family but right now, my main concern is you. Beca, you cannot drive in this condition. You need to be calm and rational before you get in the car and drive for forty minutes." Jesse reasoned, his voice soft and calm.

"Fuck being calm and rational right now Jesse!" Beca's yelling caused Alex to flinch. It was the first time she had ever heard her mother raise her voice.

Jesse's voice was much softer. "Lower your voice!" He hissed. "Alex is right upstairs! I get that you're angry Beca, and we need to talk about this, but our four year old does not need to hear her mother shouting obscenities."

Beca turned away from Jesse, unable to face him as more tears began to fall. She knew she was being loud, and she knew Alex had to be hearing their conversation. But Beca was having a hard time controlling her emotions. Suddenly it all clicked for Jesse.

"This is about more than Chloe not being around." He said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

Beca whipped her head towards him. "This is about that beautiful little girl up there not turning out like me!" She yelled, unable to soften her tone.

"I know what it feels like to be let down by people who once claimed to love you. I know what it's like to lay awake at night and wonder what you did to make them leave. I know what it's like to be angry at the world, and angry at yourself, and shut everybody out because it's all you can do to protect yourself from getting hurt. I want more for her Jesse! She has a beautiful innocence about her now, she's happy! She loves colors, singing, and dancing, and she trusts people without question. Her heart is so full of love, and I don't want that to change!"

Beca's emotions were pouring out of her like a floodgate, and she was powerless to stop them. Once the gate opened, it wouldn't stop. She looked deeply into Jesse's eyes from across the counter.

"I'm her mother. I'm her mother, Jesse." She sobbed as she pounded her fist on the counter. "I'm supposed to protect her."

Jesse watched as Beca fell apart in front of him and the lump in his throat began to rise. He was so unsure of how she would react, but he walked over to her and lifted her chin so he could see her tear stained face. Her tears were flowing like hot lava, it had been years since the last time Jesse had seen Beca so heartbroken and defeated.

Staring up into his eyes, which were also starting to fill with tears, Beca blew out a breath. "I didn't want her to get hurt, I didn't want that for her." She whispered.

Jesse pulled her into his arms. He kissed all along her cheeks, tasting her salty tears, before kissing the top of her head and pulling back to see her face once more.

"Do you know what an amazing mother you are?" He whispered, his thumb wiping away more tears.

Beca shook her head. "Stop, just stop." She said, closing her eyes.

"No, look at me." He said, his eyes so full of concern. Beca's eyes remained closed.

"Beca, look at me."

She finally relented, looking back up at him with tear filled blue eyes.

"I watched you carry her for nine months. I watched you give birth to her. I watched as you breastfed her and changed countless diapers. I have watched you rearrange your schedule so you could spend an entire day with her, or watch her dance class. I've watched as you've given up food because Alex was still hungry, I've watched you get up in the middle of the night to lay in bed with her because she had a nightmare. I've watched as you were thrown up on, and then comforted your daughter before focusing on anything else because she felt guilty about it. I have watched you love our daughter every single day for over four years. Don't you dare, for one second, think that you're not good enough for her. When Alex cries? She cries for you...her mother. When she's sick, she wants her mother. When we went to the movies back in June when you were in LA for business, the very first thing Alex said to me when we walked out of that theater was 'I wish mommy could have been here with us.'"

Jesse cupped her cheeks in his hands, tears streaming down his own face. "If you were to ask our daughter who she loves most in this world...her answer would be 'Mommy.' She thinks you hung the moon just for her."

Beca wrapped her arms around Jesse's neck, and together, they stood in the kitchen, holding onto each other and crying.

He hated this. They were now all in pain. Beca was hurting because Alex was hurting, and Jesse was hurting for both Alex and Beca. It killed him to see her falling apart like this.

He rubbed her back as he held her tightly, breathing in her unique scent. He never wanted to let her go. Instead, he wanted to do anything he could to take her pain away and make her stop hurting. He would do anything for Beca. His love for her was like nothing he had ever experienced in his life. He had never before been so madly, and deeply, head over heels in love with someone. The feeling was indescribable.

It was a good ten minutes before Beca pulled back, visibly calmer. She looked into Jesse's eyes. "I need to fight for her until she can stand up for herself. It's my job as her mother to stand up for her. Please let me do this. I promise I'm okay."

Jesse thought it over in his head. He knew Beca was hellbent on confronting Chloe and wouldn't be able to rest until she did.

"Are you positive you're okay to drive?" He questioned.

Beca nodded her head. "Yes, I'm okay to drive." She answered softly.

Jesse relented.

"Promise me you'll call when you get there. If anything happens to you, I will never forgive myself."

Beca's hands rubbed at his sides. "I promise. I love you." She whispered, before leaning up to kiss him.

"I love you too." He said as he reluctantly let her go.

Beca found her keys, and took one more look at Jesse before closing the door to the garage, leaving him in the kitchen, alone.

He stood there, staring straight ahead, trying to process the emotional upheaval they just experienced. It was very rare that Beca broke down like that. As far as he knew, the only other time he had seen her that distraught, was when they thought she had miscarried her entire pregnancy. By some unexplainable miracle, Alex survived and she was growing and thriving. Miracle was the only way to describle it. Alex was their miracle.

He was left alone with his thoughts, wondering if he should have let her go. He knew she was emotional, and he worried about her current state of mind, and whether or not she would be able to fully focus on the road. It wasn't like Chloe and Luke lived down the street, they were in Cheshire, a town forty minutes north. Beca was going to have to take multiple highways to get there.

Jesse put his head in his hands and sighed. He just wanted her in bed with him, wrapped up in his arms, where he knew she was safe.

When he looked up, Alex was standing against the wall in her Doc McStuffins pajamas, clutching her teddy bear, staring at him. Jesse sighed and walked over to her, bending down to her level.

"Sweetheart, it's late, you should be in bed." Jesse reminded her.

"Mommy was yelling." Alex whispered. Jesse closed his eyes.

"Yes, she was." He answered.

"She was crying, and saying bad words." Alex continued, her voice just above a whisper. The incident had clearly frightened her. Jesse knew that Alex had never heard Beca raise her voice even slightly before.

"I'm very sorry you had to hear that baby. Mommy was very upset, and we should have had the conversation somewhere else, where it didn't bother you."

Alex nodded her head. "Daddy?"

"Yeah, Alex?"

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" She asked.

"Of course you can. Come on, let's go upstairs."

Leaving the rest of the clean up for the morning, Jesse picked Alex up and softly began rubbing her back as he turned off the lights, and headed upstairs.

As he changed into his pajamas, and got into the king sized bed, Alex cuddled up against Jesse's chest and he began to sing her song.

 _"If you need me, just call my name_

 _'Cause without you, my life just wouldn't be the same_

 _If you want me come sunny skies or rain, just call my name_

 _If you miss me, I'll be there to brush the sunlight from your hair_

 _I'll be there to guide you when trouble walks beside you_

 _When you need me, just call my name._

"Daddy?" Alex whispered, her voice heavy with sleep.

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"And I love you Alex, more than you'll ever know."

* * *

Beca pulled up to the house, and simply stared. It was late, and she was already emotionally drained, but she was going to do this. She was going to do this for Alex. It was one thing for Chloe to fuck with Beca's emotions, but Alex's were an entirely different situation.

As she pulled up in front of the house, she called Jesse, just as she had promised. She assured him once more that she was okay and would call him again when she was headed home. Before hanging up, she asked about Alex and was relieved to hear that she was firmly pressed into Jesse's side, sleeping peacefully in their bed. Finally, getting up the nerve to exit the car, she closed and locked the door before making her way up the sidewalk to the front porch. Nervously, she rang the doorbell.

Less than thirty seconds later, the door opened wide.

"We need to talk."


	9. Breathe Me

**Happy Monday friends! I hope you enjoy this next installment!**

 **Please, if you are reading, take some time to review. Hearing your thoughts is extremely helpful and gives me the motivation to keep writing.**

 **This is another tear jerker, keep the tissues handy.**

 **Bekah-Thank you for always being willing to look at countless drafts. I couldn't do this without you.**

* * *

"We need to talk." Beca said, as confident as ever, when Chloe opened the door.

Luke was making his way out of the house, a packed bag in his hand, as he saw Beca standing on the porch.

"Good luck getting her to talk." He scoffed. "She hasn't spoken two words to me. I've just spent the past half hour having an argument with myself. I'm out of here, she's all yours."

Beca watched, her eyes wide, as Luke walked to his truck. She then turned to face Chloe who finished off what remained in her wine glass. Without saying a word, Chloe stepped back and allowed Beca to walk into the house.

Beca was stunned by what she saw when she walked in. While she had never been one to judge, she couldn't help it this time. Beca and Jesse's house wasn't pristine by any standards. Even with a nanny, more often that not, toys were scattered about, laundry was waiting, and there was at least one thing in every single room of the house with a picture of Anna and Elsa on it. The Swanson residence was more than a house...it was a home. Every nook and cranny was lived in. It was warm, cozy, and inviting and Beca preferred it that way. The entire first floor was covered in hardwood floors in case of spills, their walls were lined with family pictures, and their refrigerator was covered in Alex's artwork.

Across town, Chloe earned a living as an interior decorator. Their stately Connecticut home looked like an ad for Pottery Barn. Decorative paintings covered their walls, there were cabinets full of fine china, and everything had a place. The Barnes household was always well kept and put together. But not this time, not today. It was quite apparent that their housekeeper hadn't been there in some time. Beca wondered if she had been fired or if she quit.

Beca knew something was very wrong the second she walk inside. There was dust an inch thick on anything that sat still. The living room looked like a frat house with stale food and beer cans on the coffee table. There wasn't a coaster in sight. When she passed the laundry room, she could smell the stench before she saw the baskets full of dirty clothes. In the kitchen, the sink was piled high with dirty dishes despite the fact that she could hear the dishwasher running. The recycling bin was overflowing with dozens of empty wine bottles and beer cans. On the kitchen island sat a half empty bottle of Moscato wine surrounded by pizza boxes and take out from the Chinese place up the road.

Deciding to look around further, Beca turned to the fridge and was shocked when she opened it to find that except for a few bottles of wine and some beers, it was empty. As she closed the door, there it was under the "World's Coolest Aunt" magnet that Alex gave Chloe...the invitation to Alex's dance recital. The anger bubbled up even more. Opening the pantry door, Beca found a bag of flour, a few boxes of pasta, bread, and a couple cans of soup. She felt like she had just stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone. Chloe Barnes could throw together a party at a moment's notice. The house was always spotless and well stocked. Chloe herself was always put together and dressed to the nines with a full coat of makeup.

Beca turned to look at her. She had clearly been drinking for a while. Chloe grabbed for the bottle, pouring herself another glass when she finally looked up to Beca.

"Wine?"

Beca's face remained stoic. "No, I'm good. I can't stay long anyway."

Beca had never seen Chloe like this. Her beautiful, flowing red hair was dull, dirty, and thrown up in a messy bun, her manicure was chipped, she wore no make up, and she was in pajamas that if Beca had to guess, she had been wearing for a couple days. Beca also noticed that her engagement and wedding rings, as well as the diamond studs she always wore in her ears, were missing.

Looking at her face, Beca could tell that Chloe had lost weight, a lot of weight, and she knew it wasn't from dieting. Chloe Barnes was an absolute walking disaster, and the picture in the living room of her and Luke on their wedding day only served to further point out the dramatic difference. It was all Beca could do not to simply stare at her best friend in horror. Why hadn't Luke called her and told her things were this bad?

Chloe shrugged as she grabbed the glass, emptying the bottle, and made her way out onto the patio. Beca followed behind her.

Chloe leaned up against the railing of the deck, sipping her wine and looking out into the pool.

"What do you want?" She muttered, her back towards Beca.

Beca was in a complete state of shock. She had shown up expecting to have a huge showdown with Chloe. Instead, she had walked into a war zone. Chloe was a stumbling drunken mess, and Luke was walking out on her during a time when she clearly needed him the most. Beca was still furious with Chloe, but as she took in the scene unfolding in front of her, she was also extremely concerned.

"Seriously? What am I-What are you-I'm here because I want you to pull your head out of your ass for five fucking minutes!" Beca yelled, her anger causing her thoughts to jumble all together.

Beca walked over to where Chloe was standing and put her hand on her shoulder. Chloe immediately went rigid and just when Beca thought she was making a little bit of progress, Chloe brushed her off a little more forcefully than she thought.

Beca, completely caught off guard, stumbled backward and when she caught her balance she squared her shoulders, "What the fuck was that for?"

Chloe turned back toward the yard and remained silent, further angering Beca.

"Chloe! Jesus Christ, what the hell is your fucking problem?!"

Chloe shrugged, saying nothing, deciding instead to finish the wine in her glass.

Beca threw her hands up. Now she understood what Luke meant about having spent the past thirty minutes arguing with himself. Chloe left Beca on the patio to go inside and refill her wine glass again. When she finally walked back outside, bottle in one hand, full glass in the other, Beca unleashed her pent up anger.

"Fine, you don't have to say anything, I'll do the talking. I've got a hell of a lot to say." Beca stated, slightly calmer this time.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to organize her thoughts.

"When I went to Barden, I didn't think I wanted or needed friends. I was there against my will and my goal was to make my dad's life miserable because I wanted to be in Los Angeles. I had tunnel vision and saw only what I wanted or needed, not caring about anyone or anything else. Then I met you and the other Bella's...and Jesse. You guys changed my life. I wouldn't be who I am today without each and everyone of you."

Beca looked over to see if Chloe was listening. She wasn't sure so she carried on.

"Then I got pregnant and my world was turned upside down. I never wanted to be someone's mother. Clearly my mother wasn't the best role model, and I didn't want to repeat her mistakes. Kids...they're messy, they're exhausting, they're obnoxious, they take your freedom, they ruin your body. I never understood the appeal of them. When I saw that first positive pregnancy test, I lost it. I still, to this very day, don't know how I got pregnant while taking the pill." Beca took a deep breath before she continued. "All I could think about was how my life was ruined, how Jesse's life was ruined. It killed me inside, that positive test signified the end of my life as I knew it. I thought about abortion, I thought about adoption. I'm not proud of it, but those thoughts crossed my mind several times. I had to force myself to look at that first ultrasound and I cried, I wish I could say I cried tears of joy but I can't because that's not how I was feeling at the time."

Beca did her best not to cry. She did not want to choke out words through her tears, and she had already cried enough. It didn't matter how long it took, she needed to get through this, she needed to get through to Chloe.

"And then came that night I woke up covered in blood." Involuntarily, Beca closed her eyes as the flashbacks of that horrific moment hit her.

"Lying in that Emergency Room as they told me that there was nothing more they could do, I felt my world crumble around me. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be a mother, to grow life, and to feel my child inside of me. Alex is a miracle. You know that she is. Being conceived when I was on the pill, and surviving that partial miscarriage, she's a miracle, _my_ miracle. It took me almost losing her to know how much I wanted her. And the moment that she was placed on my chest after ten hours of labor, I knew I would never love another person quite like I love her. She's...She's not like other children. Alex has a maturity to her that I've never before seen in a child. She's so easy to raise, so easy to love."

Chloe continued to stare out at the pool, her back towards Beca the entire time. Beca didn't even know if Chloe was listening, but she didn't care. The whole point of driving to Chloe's house was to get all of this off of her chest. If Chloe didn't want to listen, that was fine, but Beca needed to be free of everything that she'd been holding in for so long.

"I never wanted to be someone's mother until I met my daughter. And now, being her mother is the greatest joy I have in my life. Alex makes me want to be a better person, she reminds me to not be so bitter and hateful at the world. Because my daughter exists, the world, _my_ world, is a better place. So to hold her in my arms tonight as she cried because she thinks you hate her, and then having to figure out a way to explain that you don't hate her just about killed me. You're Aunt Chloe, you can do no wrong in her eyes and yet tonight you did. You fucked up Chloe and I'm not sure, what if anything, you can do to fix it. She wanted nothing more than for you to be there today to see her dance. And maybe it didn't mean much to you, but in her little world, today was the biggest day of her life. It doesn't matter that twenty people came to watch her dance. What she remembered as she went to sleep, was that Aunt Chloe wasn't there."

Chloe's body stiffened, and she turned to face Beca. "I don't hate Alex."

"Really Chloe? 'Cause I'm starting to think you do. If it's not Alex that you're mad at then it's gotta be me. And where the hell was Luke going with a packed bag?" Beca demanded, feeling so utterly lost and confused.

"Georgia." Chloe answered, as she poured another glass of wine, her voice was void of any emotion.

"Georgia!?" Beca repeated in a state of shock.

Chloe swirled her wine around in the glass. "We had a fight."

"Yeah, Jesse and I have fights too, but he doesn't go running home to Mommy and Daddy in Massachusetts!" Beca retorted.

"We just need a few days apart is all." She explained as she pulled out a chair so she could sit.

"No, he needs to nut up, and you...you need to stop being such a petulant bitch and shutting everybody out! Beca yelled. "You get in one fight and suddenly he's all assholes and elbows to Georgia while you drink yourself into a stupor. That's just fan-fucking-tastic Chloe!"

Chloe was wide eyed as she stared at Beca. This was a side of her she hadn't experienced before.

Beca was feeling overwhelmed as she tried to process all of the information hitting her at once. Something was clearly wrong with Chloe. The Chloe Beca knew and loved would never have been so blase about her husband taking some time away from her. Beca honestly didn't even recognize the person standing in front of her. She was cold and callous. The only thing she seemed to care about was her wine.

Beca glanced at the bottle. "Chloe, I'm just going to come right out and ask , do you having a drinking problem?" Beca questioned. She was trying to find some kind of balance through all this. Beca was so furious with Chloe, but she knew now as she stood in front of her, that there was clearly something big Chloe was fighting. The littlest bit of sympathy slipped into Beca, though her blood was still boiling.

Chloe rolled her eyes. "No, I don't have a drinking problem Beca." She said as she poured yet another glass of wine.

"Well then put the Goddamn bottle down and have a conversation with me without taking a drink every two seconds!" Beca hissed as she got in Chloe's face and pulled the bottle from her. "I've got a four year old at home who cried herself to sleep tonight and damnit I'm demanding a fucking answer!"

Chloe refused to look at Beca as she got back up again and leaned against the deck as the tears started falling again.

"It hurts okay?" She finally answered, giving some semblance of an answer. Beca didn't try to push, she just listened. This was the first time since she got there that Chloe showed any sign of emotion.

"Month after month after month of getting your period. The doctor acting all cheery and telling you to _"Just stop stressing so much and keep trying!"_ And you do. You try every fucking month for over a year, and nothing happens." Chloe continued. Finally, she slowly turned around to face Beca, tears streaming down her face.

"Let me ask you something Beca, I want to have a conversation woman to woman, so don't bullshit me."

Beca's brow furrowed in confusion slightly, she was still trying to process everything. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

Chloe stared at her straight on. "When was the last time you and Jesse made love? Not sex, not a quickie. When was the last time you laid in bed with Jesse and made love to him?"

Beca paused, thinking about it momentarily. Jesse had tried to initiate a session that morning, but she had just gotten her period. And Friday night, she had been so exhausted from such a long week, that she fell asleep by 9 o'clock. She thought back to Thursday night.

It had been a long week at work. Beca had spent a good chunk of it in the recording studio with Zoey as they perfected her debut album. That night, she didn't get home til seven. Jesse had dinner waiting for her. After she ate, and was able to relax for longer than five minutes, he drew her a bath and told her to enjoy the evening, that he would put Alex to bed.

After the bath, where she soaked until her hands and feet started to prune, Beca toweled off, and was about to put some pajamas on when Jesse instructed her to get into bed. Laying on her stomach, Jesse grabbed a bottle of body oil, and massaged her entire body. His hands worked the muscles in her shoulders and her back. He massaged her ass, her legs, and after she turned over, her breasts and stomach. Turning the lights out and pulling the sheets over them, Jesse spent over an hour worshiping her body. His lips kissed every inch of her, his hands touched her in all the right places. He brought her to orgasm three times that night. It was an incredible time together, and she remembered thinking as he thrust in and out of her how in love with him she was, and how good it felt to be with him.

"Thursday night." Beca answered, not giving any further details.

"Was it good?" Chloe asked, her voice cutting through the night like a knife.

Beca was completely unprepared for the question. "Jesus, Chloe! Seriously?! What the hell does this have to do with the topic at hand?" She yelled.

Beca was a private person, especially when it came to matters regarding her sex life. It wasn't that she was prude, far from it, but what Jesse and Beca did in private was exactly that, private. Truth be told, Jesse was incredible. Not that Beca had anything else to compare their sex life to, she had lost her virginity to him, but at the end of the day, Jesse made sure her needs were met. She had a high sex drive, and she never felt unsatisfied. Beca felt it was one of the many reasons their marriage was so strong, they had a vibrant sex life. Having sex wasn't a chore for her. It wasn't something she felt obliged to do just to keep her husband happy, it was something she enjoyed and looked forward to. While Beca was a full time mother, and a full time record producer, she never let herself forget that she was also a full time wife. Beca always made time for Jesse.

"Answer the question Beca." Chloe insisted.

Beca shook her head. "Yeah, it was good. It was good because it was with Jesse. Because here's the thing, sex isn't just about me getting off. Yeah, it's incredible, and Jesse knows what he's doing, but I have sex with him because I'm in love with him, and I want to be close to him. He's not just some guy I fuck because I've got nothing better to do with my time. There's been a handful of times where for whatever reason, I never finished. But it didn't even matter. Because just being with him, being wrapped up in his arms, holding him, kissing him, that's enough for me. Sex is more than having multiple orgasms Chloe. I want to have sex with Jesse to remind him how deeply in love with him I am."

Chloe blew out a breath as she looked up at the sky, trying so desperately to fight an impossible battle against the tears that were falling. "Do you have any idea what infertility does to your sex life?"

"How would I know that Chloe?"

"Fair point...please, allow me to let you in." Chloe took a sip of wine before she began to pace the length of the patio.

"You decide you want a baby, because you're so madly in love with your husband, that you want a family with him. And at first, it's fun, and it's exciting, and in the back of your mind, every time you're together, you can't help but think this might be the time that works. This might be the night we conceive our child. But it doesn't happen. Months and months go by, and it never happens. And at first, you're not concerned. They tell you that there's no need for concern until you've been trying for over a year. But as month after month goes by, with nothing, you start to get concerned. Suddenly, one day you realize, the sex isn't as great as it used to be. Suddenly, sex becomes a chore. 'Cause that's what it is between Luke and I, I don't get to make love to my husband, I have sex with him. Suddenly you realize that the sole purpose of sex is to make a baby. There's so much pressure. You can't get turned on, you can't get the butterflies in your stomach, because you can't get out of your head for even a minute. You're just laying there, praying to God that something about this time is different."

Chloe was openly sobbing as she sat down on the chair, trying to explain all of it to Beca, the pain, the loneliness, and the intense feeling of failure.

"You go to the doctor, you have an app on your phone that tells you the days you're ovulating, you take the pills, you take the shots, and you lose all spontaneity. Everything becomes so calculated and planned. And you're taking your basal body temperature and you're noticing even the slightest changes in your cervical mucus. You become in touch with your body in a way that you never thought was possible and you notice every single slight change. "

Beca sat, listening, as she watched Chloe fall apart and unload. If Beca had to guess, she suspected it was the first time Chloe had ever unloaded.

"In the meantime, you still aren't getting pregnant, and you're forced to watch as slowly, one by one, your friends get the news that they're pregnant. And you feel like the biggest fucking bitch on the planet, because you just can't seem to be happy for them. You know it's not their fault that you aren't getting pregnant, and you know you should be happy, but you just can't. Because all you can think about is how it's not happening to you. Beca, I can't remember the last time Luke and I made love. I don't even know what to call what happens between us. There's no passion. There's no ripping clothes off of each other because were so desperate to be together. We don't light candles and throw on some Maxwell to get ready for an intense session. Infertility has completely wrecked our marriage. We haven't even touched each other in a month. And even when we were touching, it wasn't anything spectacular. It was simply to try for a baby. In and out. No foreplay, no connection, hell the last time I didn't even bother to take my top off. He thrust three times, got off and that was it. We haven't even slept in the same bed in months. It's like having sex with a stranger. Beca, I've seen the way Jesse looks at you. In his eyes, the sun rises and sets on your ass. He is head over heels in love with you, and nothing you do could ever change that. Luke hasn't looked at me that way in over a year. I have failed as both a woman and a wife, part of me wouldn't even blame him for going out and having an affair. Maybe he already has, I don't know what to think anymore."

Chloe sat on the chair, tears streaming down her face, overcome with even more sadness as she tried to explain the pain of it all. She looked up to find Beca in tears.

Beca was horrified. She watched for months as Chloe closed in on herself, and shut everybody out, but she didn't know things were this bad. For someone who hadn't talked for months, Chloe now had a case of verbal vomit. Suddenly, the words and emotions were pouring out.

Beca was terrified to even ask the question, but took a breath and did it anyway. "Have you looked into-"

Chloe cut her off, knowing exactly what she was about to ask. "$30,000 when all is said and done for _one_ round of IVF. Insurance-"

Beca didn't even stop to think. "-Chloe, if money is what's stopping you..."

As angry as Beca was, more often than not, she thought with her heart before her brain. Sure, she was downright pissed with Chloe at the moment. But in her heart, she still loved her, she was still willing to help Chloe if she needed it and if $30,000 would solve the problem at hand, Beca would write her a damn check. All she had to do was ask.

Chloe scoffed. "I don't want money from you Beca! Luke and I are fully capable of handling it on our own."

Beca's eyes were wide as she jumped up from her chair. "Clearly you aren't! Have you taken a look at yourself or your house?!"

"We have the money saved, we just have differing opinions on when we should have the procedure. Because this is it Beca! We have one shot to get this right. Luke and I both have good careers, and we both make good money, but $30,000 is a lot of money, we don't have a hundred grand just lying around. If this procedure doesn't take, we aren't having children. And at this point, maybe that's for the best. This whole situation has torn us apart. Not that you would understand..."

Beca was furious. "Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" She asked standing up and sending the chair sliding out from underneath her.

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Well we can't all have perfect marriages now can we."

There was a tremendous amount of venom in Chloe's voice that Beca had never heard before. And she resented the comment.

"My marriage is not perfect by any measure. It's damn good, but it's far from perfect. And for your information, Jesse and I work hard at it every day. We have fights Chloe! If you think we don't then you're living in some fantasy land! Sure, maybe they're not explosive, and no, the idea of willingly separating even just for a few days has never come up, but we've had arguments before, and it sucks. I certainly don't enjoy fighting with him. But Jesse and I communicate. I let him know the second he's pissing me off, and likewise, he let's me know when I'm being a bitchy pain in the ass. We discuss things right away, we don't let them simmer, and we don't go to bed angry. I don't believe in divorce for any reason other than abuse or infidelity. So when there's a problem in our relationship, we find a way to work it out."

Chloe didn't respond. Staring off, she pursed her lips together, not saying a word.

"I am not going to be made to feel sorry for having a good marriage just because yours is going through a rough patch." Beca said forcefully. You're both so wrapped up in yourselves that you can't see the forest for the trees."

Chloe walked over to pour herself another glass of wine when she lost her footing. Her legs flew out from under her, and she fell, landing straight on her back.

Beca gasped, and went to go help her up, when Chloe pushed her arm away. "I don't need your help. I don't need anything from you, so why don't you just leave already?"

Beca closed her eyes and shook her head. This was not at all how she pictured the evening going. Chloe had been a downright bitch. Beca felt for her, of course, but Chloe wasn't making it easy. She had expected Chloe would have felt at least a little guilty for missing her God daughter's first dance recital, but as it was, she didn't seem to care much at all. She hadn't even asked about Alex...not once. Beca wasn't about to fight an uphill battle, not in the middle of the night anyway. If Chloe wanted her gone, she would go.

"Fine!" Beca put her hands up and walked away, admitting defeat, something she rarely if ever did.

As she made her way through the house, Beca paused and turned to go to the living room. On the mantle, sat the pictures. A picture of each of the Bella's ICCA wins, a picture of Chloe, Luke, Beca, and Jesse when they had first started dating, a picture of Chloe with her bridal party, and, at the very end, a picture of Chloe, Luke, and Alex, from Alex's third birthday. Chloe had a smile brighter than the sun in the picture, and Beca picked up the frame, holding it in her hands, wondering if she would ever get her best friend back again.

* * *

"You didn't have to yell at her like that."

Luke's southern accent came out of nowhere as Beca walked out onto the front porch and nearly jumped out of her skin from shock.

"Jesus! What the hell are you doing here?!" Beca cried out, clutching her chest.

Luke sat in the rocking chair, drinking a beer, and looked up at her. "I live here."

"I know that. Chloe said you were going to Georgia."

"I was. I changed my mind. Funny how assholes and elbows have the ability to run back home just like they can run to Mommy and Daddy."

With that one sentence, Beca realized that he had heard everything.

"Right...anyway, I had every right to yell at her. Just like I have every right to yell at you. To be honest, I don't know who I'm more pissed at, _you_ , or her!" Beca yelled. She wasn't about to let Luke off that easy.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You're just as responsible for this mess as she is! Fuck! I don't even know where to begin! How in the hell could you let her get this bad?! Why did you not call me in the beginning, when things first started going downhill?"

Luke clutched his beer bottle, clearly on the defensive. "She didn't want anyone to know what was going on!"

Beca leaned on the arms of the rocking chair and got right up into Luke's face. "Bullshit! You should have overridden that decision and you know it! Kind of like when I didn't think Jesse needed to know I was pregnant and Chloe called him anyway. In fact, just like that! I am her best friend, or I was at one point. I had every right to know that she was slipping into a horrific depression! Instead, you allowed her to close in on herself and willow away to nothing! She's unrecognizable! And you were going to leave her like this?! She's stumbling around in a drunken stupor, ready to drink herself to death, and you think leaving is the answer? When was the last time she ate Luke? When was the last time she had anything to drink other than wine? How could you claim to love her if you allowed her to spiral so out of control?"

As Beca turned on her heel, Luke stood up and stared at her. He knew he had fucked up. He knew that he was in so far over his head and that he should have gotten Chloe to a doctor when he first started seeing the symptoms of her depression. But he just couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to admit that Chloe was actually depressed. Despite all the symptoms staring him straight in the face, he ignored them all, hoping they would eventually go away. And so, he fed into it, he allowed her to slack off on the cleaning, he allowed her to drink an entire bottle of wine every night, he allowed her to slip and say nothing. He helped her hide the whole thing.

"She didn't want you to know." He whispered, his pain coming right back to the surface.

"I don't give a fuck what she wanted. I had a right to know, I had a fucking right! I am angrier at her than I have ever been, but so help me God Luke, if you don't get her to a doctor, I will. Do. Not. Fuck. With. Me." She stated, standing mere inches from him, completely unintimidated by his 6'4 stature.

Beca turned to walk back to her car when she stopped and turned around to face him.

"I want an honest answer. Have you cheated on her?" Beca asked, not even sure she wanted to know the truth.

Luke looked her dead on. "No. Chloe and I may have a lot of issues to work through, but I am not that kind of man. I have been faithful to her through our entire marriage."

"Well she thinks you have, and I swear, if I find out its true, Chloe will be the least of your worries." Beca spat.

"I love my wife, Beca."

"Then start fucking acting like it."

Beca got into her car and put her hands on the steering wheel, just trying to comprehend everything that had happened over the past several hours.

Chloe couldn't get pregnant and she was not taking it well. As a result, her marriage was in shambles, she had fallen into a complete depression, and was well on her way to becoming an alcoholic. Beca couldn't figure out how she felt about the situation. She was angry at Chloe, she was heartbroken for her, and yet, she was so grateful for her own family. Though she felt slightly guilty, she was happy that she was going home and crawl into bed with her husband and their daughter. Beca was sure she had never appreciated Jesse more than she did in that moment.

It was nearing 2 o'clock in the morning, but still, she called him just as she promised she would.

"Hey babe" He picked up on the third ring, his voice groggy with sleep.

"Hey, um, I'm just calling you to let you know I'm on my way home now." Beca answered.

"Okay, _please_ be careful. We're here waiting for you."

Beca smiled, feeling her heart swell with love and appreciation. He couldn't have known just how much those words meant to her.

"I will. I love you."

"I know...I love you more."

* * *

Jesse could hear the beeping of the alarm as Beca walked in the house. Try as he might, he hadn't been able to stay awake, and ended up falling asleep at some point after she called. He glanced over at the nightstand. It was 3:04am. The alarm was quickly disarmed and reset again. Jesse looked down to see Alex still curled up against his chest looking perfectly peaceful.

Beca made her way upstairs and shut the bedroom door behind her as quietly as she could. Jesse could tell she was exhausted both physically and emotionally, but at least she didn't appear to have cried recently. Tucking her hair behind her ear, Beca walked over to him and bent down to kiss him. Jesse wrapped his arm around her waist as he lightly kissed her once, twice, three times. Beca had to remind herself not to get too heated as she really wanted to be with him. After such an emotional evening, she really needed him.

"You okay?" He whispered hoarsely. Beca nodded her head.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just gonna change real quick."

She walked over to the walk in closet and grabbed a pair of Jesse's boxers and one of his t-shirts. Picking up his t-shirt, Beca brought it to her face and breathed in heavily. The scent of him wrapped around her body helped to calm her immediately. The intensity of her love for her family scared her sometimes. Beca had never had to be dependent on anyone and learning to be dependent was quite the challenge. But marriage and pregnancy had changed all of that. She couldn't have gotten through it on her own, and needed to learn to lean on Jesse for both love and support. Beca swore to herself that she would never forget the look on Jesse's face as she brought Alex into this world. She would never forget the very moment her daughter was placed on her chest. The pain of it all had been so worth it. It may have been little, but Beca was so totally in love with her family.

Climbing into bed, she settled in on the other side of Alex, sandwiching the small child in between them. Jesse reached out his arm wrapping it around Alex, and Beca. So physically and emotionally exhausted, Beca fell asleep almost instantly, so happy to be with her husband and her daughter.

"Jesse." Beca whispered. He turned his head to look at her.

"Yeah?"

"I love you. I hope you know that." She stated, wishing there were more words she could use to express how she felt about him.

"I love you too, Beca. Always."


	10. Smile

**A big Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read and review this story. Hearing your thoughts has been wonderful, and I'm glad so many people are enjoying this.**

 **Things are going to be tense for a little bit, but rest assured, happier times are ahead. Sometimes, life happens.**

 **I hope you enjoy, please leave a review :)**

 **Bekah-Thank you for never giving up on me.**

* * *

Jesse could feel himself being watched. Sure enough when he opened his eyes, he found Alex's piercing blue eyes staring back at him.

"Hi Daddy." Alex whispered.

"Hi baby." Jesse replied groggily as he yawned and stretched. He looked over to see Beca still fast asleep. Her hair covered her face, and her chest rose and fell in a perfect pattern. He swore he could spend all day watching her sleep.

Alex placed her hands on Jesse's chin and rubbed over the growing stubble. "Daddy, you need to shave."

Jesse laughed. "Thank you for the reminder. What do you say you come with me while I shave and we let Mommy sleep in a little bit?" He knew Beca hadn't slept well because he felt the bed shift every time she moved, which was a lot more than usual. Usually, Beca didn't move around a lot, in fact, she was a very sound sleeper and hardly moved at all.

Alex nodded. As Jesse slowly got out of the bed, Alex raised her arms toward him. He smiled and kissed her cheek as he picked her up. Alex reminded him often that she was a 'big girl' but secretly he loved moments like this when she wanted to be carried. He cherished these little moments knowing that it wouldn't be long before Alex didn't want to be held. He hoped it wouldn't be long before he was trying to balance two kids in his arms.

Jesse swayed and hummed in Alex's ear as he made his way to the bathroom. They both stood at the sink to wash their faces and brush their teeth. When she was finished, Alex lowered the lid of the toilet seat and sat down quietly, content just to watch Jesse as he shaved. No matter how many times she'd watched him, she always stared in amazement as he lathered the shaving cream on his face and gently wiped it away with the razor.

Finally, she broke her silence. "Hey Daddy?"

"Hmm?" Jesse muttered, closely paying attention to his reflection in the mirror. He was far too old to be cutting his face shaving.

"You know that word that I'm not allowed to say?" Alex questioned as she got up off the toilet and leaned up against the counter.

"Yeah?" Jesse replied, knowing she was most like referring to the word _'fuck'_

"How come Mommy is allowed to say it?"

Jesse sighed as he wiped off the remainder of shaving cream. He picked Alex up and sat her back down on the toilet as he kneeled in front of her.

"We need to talk about last night." He started. Alex nodded.

In their bedroom, Beca's eyes fluttered as she began to wake up from a fitful night's sleep. She had been plagued with nightmares all night. Upon waking, she was hit with what felt like a hangover from all of the emotions that had run through her system in the last 24 hours. Her eyes ached, her head pounded, and she could tell her face was puffy. As she picked up on the conversation coming from the bathroom, her stomach muscles tightened, and tremendous guilt washed over her.

"The word that Mommy used last night is a grown up word. So from time to time, when grown ups are upset, they use that word to express their anger. There are some words that grown ups can use that kids can't. Last night, Mommy was very upset because Aunt Chloe hurt your feelings and made you sad, and when you hurt, Mommy hurts. Because Mommy was upset, she cried, just like you did. She also yelled and said some words that she shouldn't have said. Mommy didn't mean to scare you though, and I know she's very sorry about it." Jesse explained.

"I am very sorry. I shouldn't have yelled, and I'm sorry for scaring you." Beca agreed as she leaned up against the door frame.

Alex jumped off of the toilet seat and walked over to wrap her arms around Beca's legs.

"I forgive you." Alex said as she looked up into her mother's eyes.

"Thank you." Beca said squatting down to hug Alex. "Hey, why don't you get ready for the day. We need to get moving if were going to spend the day in New York."

"Ok Mommy! " Alex said as she ran out of the room to get ready.

Beca smiled at Jesse then walked out of the bathroom in the direction of the walk in closet for an outfit.

Jesse stood alone, and confused, in the bathroom and called out to anyone who would listen.

"We're going to New York today? When did this happen?"

* * *

Luke sat in the living room folding the last remaining load of laundry while Chloe napped. He had spent the entire morning and afternoon trying to get their house back to what it usually was. The trash had been taken out, the kitchen had been cleaned from top to bottom, candles were lit, groceries had been bought, the carpets had been vacuumed, the dishes were done, and this final basket of laundry was the last that remained of the cleaning. He had hoped the mess of their house would get to Chloe after a while, but it didn't seem to be happening, and he couldn't stand to live like this any longer.

As he glanced around, proud of his work, the silver disk sitting on the entertainment center caught his eye.

 _Luke &Chloe _

_9.19.14_

He didn't know why he was suddenly compelled to watch it, he knew it would only remind him of what they had lost, and how far they had come from the beginning.

Against his better judgement, he got up from the couch and placed the DVD in the player. The forty inch screen instantly lit up with a picture of the two of them. Hitting play, he sat back down to continue with the laundry.

The day was perfectly etched into his brain. He knew on that day, that nothing would ever top the experience of marrying the love of his life.

Every second of the day had been perfect. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, the weather was a perfect 72 degrees, and there had not been one single mishap. Names weren't mispronounced, the cake wasn't destroyed in some freak accident, and Jesse and Beca, the best man and matron of honor gave incredible toasts that had everyone laughing and crying. The day couldn't have been better.

Chloe had never looked more radiant and ravishing as she did that day. She was absolutely glowing.

No one he had ever met had eyes even remotely like Chloe's. Those light blue eyes, the very first thing to draw him in, sparkled and shined with happiness. Her bright, fiery red hair, was so perfectly and elegantly put into an updo. She was absolutely stunning in her lace and beaded white strapless wedding dress. It was so simple, yet classic and timeless and made her look as if she'd stepped right off the pages of the latest Brides magazine. He, of course, knew he was biased, but he was completely convinced that no other bride had looked as stunningly beautiful as Chloe did on that day.

 _"I, Chloe Jacqueline Beale take you, Luke Christopher Barnes to be my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to love and cherish you, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. I promise to be faithful to you and only you until death do us part. This is my solemn vow. And with this ring, I thee wed."_

 _"I, Luke Christopher Barnes take you, Chloe Jacqueline Beale to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to love and cherish you, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. I promise to be faithful to you and only you until death do us part. This is my solemn vow. And with this ring, I thee wed."_

Three years ago, Luke made a promise in front of God, and one hundred and fifty guests. He promised to love Chloe for better or for worse. He had never been a quitter, and he sure as hell wasn't about to start now, no matter how bad things got. It was going to take Chloe walking out on their marriage for things to end and even then he wasn't giving up without a fight. Luke wasn't going anywhere. Though he was extremely frustrated with her and how she was handling their infertility issues, divorce hadn't even crossed his mind.

Chloe made her way downstairs and to Luke's relief, she was actually showered and dressed in something other than pajamas.

Her hair was up in a wet bun, and she wore a satin, solid red halter top with a pair of dark wash jeans. She looked better than she had in weeks. He wondered why she was dressed so nicely. Lately, she had hardly left the house. Her outfit did however bring significant attention to her rapid weight loss. Chloe didn't have weight to lose in the first place. Her face had become quite sunken and boney, and her collarbones jutted out significantly. It was clear to see she needed a belt to keep her jeans from falling off of her.

"Have you eaten today?" Luke asked as he folded a towel.

Chloe rolled her eyes. "What difference does it make?" She muttered.

"It does make a difference Chloe, its 8:30 at night. Maybe you don't care about yourself, but I do."

"I had a bagel around noon. Happy?" She huffed.

Luke finished folding the last towel and set it in the basket. "What can I make you for dinner?"

Chloe picked at her nails. "Nothing, I'm not hungry."

Talking to Chloe over the past few months was like trying to nail jello to a tree. Absolutely impossible and leaving him more frustrated than he was to begin with.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" He asked her. She looked up from her nails with a look of annoyance on her face.

"What?"

"The first time we met. Do you remember?"

She sighed loudly. "What about it?"

"It was May 12th, 2012. You threw a party at your townhouse. It was my first weekend in New Haven, and my roommates at the time were headed to your party. They told me some blonde Australian chick who called herself Fat Amy had invited them to party down under. I, of course, didn't believe them, until I met Amy myself."

Chloe rolled her eyes again as she remembered her friend. "She is something."

"I was in the house less than five minutes when I laid eyes on you. After that, nobody else existed." Luke explained, describing that very first night.

Chloe turned her face, unable to look at Luke, but he could see the tears falling.

"You were wearing this incredible strapless teal and brown dress and a gorgeous chunky teal necklace. Your hair was in curls that framed your face, but your eyes..." He closed his eyes as the memories all came back to him.

"Your eyes captivated me the very first time I looked into them. I was a complete goner. This is going to sound so cliche but you had me from hello."

Chloe scoffed. "How could you possibly remember all that?"

Luke got up and walked over to where Chloe was sitting. He gently brushed his fingers against her neck. "I remember everything."

Chloe closed her eyes. She looked like she was in pain as another tear slipped down her cheek. "I don't want to do this right now." She whispered as she walked off into the kitchen.

Luke groaned, so frustrated at the lack of progress he was making with her. "You don't wanna do what right now? Talk to your husband? You're stuck with me Chloe, you might as well talk!"

Ignoring him completely, Chloe opened the fridge. She sighed when she saw there wasn't a single bottle of wine in sight.

"If you're looking for the wine, were out. I'm sorry that you won't get to use alcohol as a crutch and you'll actually have to deal with your feelings tonight."

She shut the door, shaking her head.

"Chloe...I heard your conversation with Beca last night. We need to talk. Do you honestly believe that I've cheated on you?" He pressed, determined to get her to talk to him.

Tears streamed down her face as she leaned up against the island. "It doesn't even matter anymore Luke. Go ahead, have an affair! I don't care!"

Chloe's contemptuous words cut through his heart like a knife, the pain literally brought him to his knees. Luke had been born and raised in Columbus, Georgia, a city one hundred miles outside of Atlanta. In Georgia, life consisted of God, Family, and Football, in that order, no exceptions. No one, on either side of his family, had ever gotten a divorce, and he damn sure wasn't going to be the first. Luke had been raised to believe that infidelity was as big a sin as murder. His father had drilled into him that cheating on a woman was disgusting and a disgrace to the family. As a man raised with good Southern morals and values, Luke took his vows very seriously. He'd entered into a contract not only with Chloe, but with God and he knew he never wanted to cheat, no matter how bad things were. And yet, his wife stood in front of him telling him she didn't give a shit what he did.

"Do you even want a baby anymore?" He asked her point blank.

Chloe glared at him. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. What the hell are we doing here? These unbelievable fights are over what? Wanting to have a child? Damnit Chloe, we have the money in savings! Why are you stalling on the fucking IVF?! You want to parade around here and have everyone feel sorry for you because you can't get pregnant, yet you won't admit that we have the resources available and you're refusing to use them!"

He had tried. He had tried so hard to be patient with her, but she made it so impossible. Every little bit of love he tried to show her, she constantly wrote off. He was sick of it. He was sick of feeling alone in their marriage.

Chloe shook her head, tears falling. "You're such an asshole." She cried as she grabbed her keys and her bag.

"Yeah, well, you're a bitch, so why don't you just go." He huffed.

The door slammed shut and Luke leaned up against the island, running his fingers through his hair.

"I still love you Chloe."

Every day seemed they broke apart even more. If Chloe didn't start putting an effort into their relationship, he wasn't sure their marriage was going to be able to survive.

* * *

"Out like a light, just like I suspected." Jesse said as he made his way down the stairs.

Jesse, Beca, and Alex had a full, but fun day in New York. The original plan had been to go to a show and dinner, but Alex had different ideas. Jesse and Beca had explained that within reason, the day was her's, and she was welcome to choose the activities they did. Their day had included a full morning at the Liberty Science Center, a trip to the Central Park Zoo, and dinner at Serendipity, where Alex had her very first frozen hot chocolate. It was a family trip they all needed and would remember for years to come.

As anticipated, Alex fell asleep in the car, and didn't put up a fight as Jesse put her into her pajamas and tucked her into bed. They knew she would sleep well into the next morning.

He groaned as he stepped into the kitchen and found Beca already in her sapphire bikini, ready for a relaxing night in the hot tub.

"You're going to be the death of me." He moaned as he wrapped his arms around her. Beca smiled seductively.

"Go get changed so you can come join me."

"I will, I will, I just want a minute to enjoy the view."

He kissed her softly as his hands pushed into her bikini bottom. Beca moaned against his lips as her stomach began to do flip flops. Pulling back, she smiled up at him.

"Hurry up already, I'll be waiting outside for you." She whispered, kissing him once more. She grabbed the baby monitor, should Alex wake up and need them, though the chances were highly unlikely, and with it, a couple bottles of water and two towels.

Jesse nodded his head as he finally released her.

"Oh, hey, do you want me to bring some wine out?"

It was such a simple, harmless question, but Beca immediately froze. Her eyes hardened as she turned to look at Jesse.

"No, no wine." She answered coldly. Jesse looked at her, confused and unsure of what to make of the exchange.

"Okay, no wine. No problem."

* * *

Jesse found her relaxing when he made his way out to the hot tub. Her eyes were closed, her head was leaned up against the headrest, and her back was against the jets.

She opened one eye at the sound of his footsteps getting closer and closer.

Slowly, he made his way in, the steaming hot water enveloping him. They had quite a bit to talk about, as he still didn't even know what had taken place at Chloe's the night before.

But as he sat down and got comfortable, it was clear Beca had other plans. Swimming over to him, she kissed him gently on the lips before straddling his waist.

"Hi there..." Beca whispered, a wicked smile on her face.

Jesse was a bit taken back by her actions, but welcomed them none the less.

Beca wasted no time in letting Jesse know what was on her mind as she pushed Jesse's lips against hers, her teeth pulling on his lower lip as her hands fisted in his hair. Her tongue soon began to push against his lips, asking for entrance. Jesse willingly parted his lips and groaned as he felt her tongue against his. It had been a while since Beca had taken charge, and it was a major turn on for him. Knowing she was so excited that she felt the need to take matters into her own hands was incredibly hot. In the back of his mind, he knew they needed to talk, but his thoughts were becoming hazy. Beca was grinding her hips against his causing him to moan deeply.

"We really should be talking." He groaned between kisses.

"Mmmhmm." Beca agreed, not slowing her movements. "Later."

She pulled back and looked into his eyes as she unhooked the clasp on her bikini top allowing it to release, fully exposing her chest. His eyes widened at the sight of her breasts in front of him. He had seen them thousands of times, of course, but he still couldn't help staring. The water droplets cascaded down her body, her chest was flushed and her nipples were hardened. It was clear to him she was already heating up.

He reached out to connect their lips again as his hands began to massage her breasts causing Beca to moan into the kiss.

Her hands lightly scraped up and down his chest, feeling his defined abs under her fingers. Staying in shape was important to Jesse, and his hard work paid off.

As Beca straddled his waist, kissing him, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about sex. It was the second day of her period, but she was quickly becoming extremely turned on, and was desperate for a release. She wasn't in the mood for romance, or an hour long session, she just really wanted an orgasm...now.

"Babe...I wanna ride you." She whispered against his lips. Jesse pulled back to look at her.

Beca had always been weird about having sex on her period. Jesse continuously assured her it didn't bother him, and that they could always clean up if there was a mess, but as it was, Beca was always firm in her decision. Jesse respected her decision, he was a big boy and could go four days without sex because there was nothing remotely sexy about her shedding uterine lining and cramps that left her almost doubled over. She had never been up for having sex on her period. Until now.

He stared at her, unsure of whether or not he had heard her correctly. Beca nodded her head.

Jesse felt his dick tighten in his bathing suit. He assumed they would fool around in some fashion, but sex hadn't crossed his mind. The thought of Beca using him to get herself off was incredibly hot, and he certainly didn't need much of a warm up.

Beca never took her eyes off his as she stood in front of him and seductively removed her bikini bottom. As she leaned over to place it on the side of the hot tub, she intentionally rubbed her bare breasts on his chest, teasing him before finally leaning in to kiss him. Jesse moaned as she broke their kiss to pull his shorts down, allowing his erection to finally spring free. Maintaining eye contact with him, she threw his shorts out of the hot tub and sat back down on his lap.

His hands slid down to grab at her ass causing her to smile against his lips. Beca knew she would never tire of having Jesse's hands on her.

"Are you ready?" She whispered.

Jesse nodded his head. "Oh I've been ready...go for it."

She sank down on him with no problems, and even with water all around them, he could feel how extremely wet she was. He felt himself buried deep inside of her, and nodded his head, encouraging her movements.

Pulling back until he was almost fully out of her body, she sank back down again, the feeling was incredible. If Jesse was being honest with himself, having Beca on top was his favorite position. He loved the amazing view he got of her as she took control.

He sighed happily, loving how tight she was. Beca had recently begun doing kegel exercises, and he was extremely satisfied with the results.

They maintained eye contact as she pushed herself against him, and he watched as her eyes closed, and she began to pick up her pace.

Jesse's head fell back as he watched her ride him, he couldn't get enough of her. Riding him hard and fast, Beca placed her hands on his chest for leverage as she rocked on top of him.

"Just what I needed..." She moaned, as her mouth dropped open in pleasure. She had been exhausted from staying so late at work, and this was the exact release she was looking for.

"So hot...keep going baby, you're almost there." Jesse encouraged. "Keep riding, you're doing good."

Beca nodded, as she felt her orgasm begin to build. She leaned forward, her clit rubbing more powerfully against Jesse's dick and increasing the sensations causing her breathing to speed up. She moaned heavily as he began pinching her nipples, trying to help her finish.

He knew she was going to come any second. Her hips were grinding against his fast, and she began to whimper and pant. He watched as her eyes closed as the pleasure spread white hot through her body.

"Babe...yes...I'm there...I'm there..." She moaned, and he could feel her muscles contracting against his dick, gripping him, milking him. After a few sharp, deep thrusts into her, he exploded in her. With the incredible view he had of her, it didn't take long for him.

Beca's movements slowed until she came to a rest on top of him, eyes still closed as she tried to come down from the high. Opening her eyes, she found him staring back at her.

"So good." She whispered as she lightly kissed his lips. "So, so good."

Climbing off of him, Beca grabbed for the bottle of water, needing to rehydrate as Jesse grabbed a towel to dry his face and neck.

"You think you're ready to talk?" He questioned, wanting to know what had happened the previous night, yet not wanting to push her.

Beca swallowed and put the water bottle down, screwing the cap back on. Sighing, she settled back in his lap.

"Chloe can't get pregnant...and to say she is not taking the news well would be the understatement of the year." Beca explained. Jesse nodded his head.

"I had thought about that being one of the possibilities."

"Jess..." Beca sighed. "It was a sight you had to see to believe. Chloe's drinking wine like it's going out of style, the sink was full of dirty dishes, there was hardly any food in the house, and the laundry room was covered in piles of dirty laundry."

Jesse sighed at Beca's description. He had known Chloe for six years, and the Chloe he knew would have been horrified to have a drink on the table without a coaster. He could only begin to imagine what Beca had witnessed.

"So that's why you didn't want wine tonight?"

Beca nodded. "She and Luke aren't sleeping in the same room anymore." Beca continued. "Things are really bad right now. Luke's frustrated, and wanting time away from her, and Chloe...Chloe's drunk and depressed, severely depressed. She's refusing any help."

"We're not them. You're not Chloe." Jesse's grip tighten around Beca protectively.

Beca kissed Jesse lightly then buried her face in the crook of Jesse's neck.

"Babe." Jesse sighed, rubbing her back. "I'm sorry you had to see that, and I know it's going to be hard to hear this right now, but you're going to have to learn to love Chloe from a distance right now. Until she's ready to accept help Bec, you're just going to get more and more hurt. Watching you fall apart last night, hearing you tell me you don't feel like you're a good enough mother...it really hurt. I know you love Chloe, we all love Chloe, but until she's willing to accept help, we need to take a step back."

It hurt to hear the words but Beca knew what Jesse was saying was true. She knew in her heart of hearts that she couldn't help Chloe unless she was willing to help herself, but it didn't make the pain of it any easier.

"Bec, look at me." As she sat back in his lap, her eyes found his. He took her face in his hands. "You've been working a lot lately, and you've been worried about Chloe. All this stress isn't good for you." He expressed as he lowered his hands to rub her shoulders.

"I know you're looking forward to getting pregnant again, and all this stress isn't going to make it easier. I know it's going to be hard, but we need to focus on our family right now."

"I know, you're right." Beca agreed.

"Hey, what about if we take a little trip this year for our anniversary?" Jesse suggested, his hands lightly stroking Beca's stomach.

The last time Beca and Jesse had gone away just the two of them, Alex was two. She knew they could definitely use the chance to reconnect, but the chances of getting time off of work were slim to none.

Beca laughed. "Yeah, right. If you think Mark is going to let me off after our ten day trip to Disney World, think again."

"Well, what if you didn't have to take time off? What if we left on a Friday afternoon and came back on a Sunday night?" Jesse offered.

Beca pressed her forehead to his.

"Think about it..." He whispered before kissing her deeply.

Beca pulled back after a few minutes to catch her breath, and settled against Jesse's chest.

"Jesse?" Beca questioned, feeling better about asking the question knowing she couldn't see him.

"Yeah?"

"If I ever got that bad..."

Beca had never been depressed before. Sure, she'd had moments before, but nothing lasting past a few days. Even after Alex was born, she hadn't struggled with postpartum depression. Sure, the adjustment to motherhood was a little rough in the beginning, but Beca adjusted well after the first few weeks.

Jesse immediately shook his head. "You're my best friend, my wife, my lover, and I'd like to think I know everything about you. I can gauge your moods in five seconds. I'd see you slipping right away. And I would do everything in my power to get you the help you needed." He assured her.

Beca rolled her eyes at Jesse's mention of the word _'lover'_. But deep down, she knew his words were true. Jesse would always take care of her.

"Like right now, I can tell there's something else on your mind." He said as he kissed along her neck.

Beca sighed. She couldn't keep a secret from Jesse even if she wanted to.

"Okay...it kind of scares me. I haven't got pregnant yet."

Jesse closed his eyes as he pressed his head to Beca's.

"Baby." He sighed. "Don't do this to yourself. It's only been a month. You are fertile. That little girl upstairs sleeping was conceived while you were on birth control. I'd like to think she's a perfect testament to that."

Beca nodded in agreement. Deep down, she knew she didn't have any issues in regards to fertility.

"This was the reason we decided not to chart when you were ovulating. We agreed there shouldn't be any pressure to make a baby. When you're not so stressed, and my little swimmers figure out where the hell they're going, you'll get pregnant. In the meantime, getting there is half the fun."

Beca scoffed. "You're a weirdo, you know that? I cannot believe you seriously referred to your sperm as little swimmers."

His hands ran up and down her legs tenderly, avoiding the area Beca most wanted him to touch.

"They are little swimmers, and they're much happier being inside of you than they are being inside of me." Jesse whispered, causing Beca to laugh.

Capturing her lips in a kiss, suddenly, there was no need for talking.

* * *

It was a quiet Sunday night in the Yale-New Haven Emergency Room. To be honest, Scott wasn't exactly thrilled to be working. The Sunday night ER shift was the shift every doctor wished to avoid. The biggest excitement of the day had been a kid coming in with his leg broken in two places. If all he was going to be doing for twelve hours was paperwork and sutures, Scott would have much rather have been spending the night at home with Stacie. Though they all knew things were slow, no one dared to say anything. Every medical professional knew one thing to be true, and that was that you never uttered the word _'quiet'_ in an Emergency Room.

Scott sat at the small desk, filling out paperwork as one of his interns came over and sat next to him, eating an apple.

"Don't even think the word..." Scott muttered without taking his eyes off of his work.

He sighed. "Isn't there anywhere I can scrub in? A delivery I can assist with? Come on, there's gotta be something exciting to do around here."

Scott put the pen down and looked over at him. "Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, this right here," He stated, gesturing his hand to a nearly empty Emergency Room. "this is what life is like working the 8p-8a shift on a Sunday night. I hate to burst your bubble but-"

"Alright people, get ready, we've got a car crash victim coming in. The result of a drunk driving accident. ETA five minutes. Who's got room?"

Scott looked up. "I'm open!" He called out in response as he got up and grabbed a pair of latex gloves while mentally preparing himself for what he was about to experience. A serious car accident was a trauma case. There was no way to know what to expect. Broken bones, cuts, bruises, lacerations, organ damage, the possibilities were endless.

Three minutes later, the doors opened wide as the paramedics headed in with a stretcher.

"27 year old female, hit by a drunk driver!" The EMT explained as he rolled her in.

Scott looked down at the young woman. As bruised and cut up as she was, she was still instantly recognizable.

"Lacerations to the face and arms, found unconscious at the scene, hasn't come to as of yet."

She was caked in blood and bruises. Between her red hair, red shirt, and the blood, everything was mixing together. Her jeans had been ripped, her hair was in messy curls around her face, and she was missing shoes.

"BP 85/60 pulse 90."

Scott couldn't stop staring. His eyes were fixated on her. Suddenly it was like he was in a trance. He could hear what the paramedics were saying, he knew she was in critical condition, but he couldn't move. He could barely talk.

"Was there any identification on her?" He questioned hoarsely, his eyes never leaving her. He knew it was her, but he needed to hear her name. It was the only way this would be real.

The EMT looked at him, her license in his hand. "License identified her as Chloe Barnes."

Scott sighed as his eyes closed.

"Dr. Ramsey, where are we taking her?"

Scott stood in the middle of his ER, eyes closed, not moving.

The EMT was confused and knew precious time was being wasted. "Dr. Ramsey, your patient!"

Scott immediately came back to reality.

"Exam three, bring her over. On my count, one...two...and!"

Chloe's body was lifted up onto the bed as Scott's medical training immediately kicked in. He grabbed the miniature flashlight to check her eyes. Her pupils were fixed and dilated, she was unresponsive with shallow breathing, low blood pressure, and a racing heartbeat. Cutting her shirt open, he knew exactly what he would find.

Her stomach was rock hard.

Scott's intern, an eager young kid still working his way through medical school immediately jumped in.

"What can I do?" He asked eagerly.

Scott looked him straight on.

"Three things. Number one, call the OR and tell them we're bringing a patient up from the ER for an emergency splenectomy. Number two, page Dr. Sievers and tell him to meet me in the OR." He instructed as he released the emergency locks on the bed to roll her to the elevator.

"Okay people let's move, every second counts here!"

The intern stood back, slightly confused. "Dr. Ramsey? That was only two things, what about number three?"

Scott looked back as he wheeled Chloe out of the Emergency Room.

"Find my cell phone, and look up Luke Barnes. Tell him his wife is at Yale-New Haven and she's headed into Emergency Surgery."


	11. Author's Note

Dear Readers,

After getting many of the same reviews over the past few weeks, I feel there are some things I need to clear up.

1.) Double updates are next to impossible. I don't just sit down, write a chapter, and post it. A lot goes into writing each and every chapter. Things go from bouncing ideas with friends and fellow authors, to researching those ideas to make sure things are as accurate as possible, to finally writing and sometimes rewriting.

2.) Jesse and Beca are not going to get pregnant overnight. I try to make my story as realistic as possible. Beca has only had her IUD out for one month. It takes time to conceive a baby and even more time to grow a baby. It is an event that will take place over the span of multiple chapters. It would not be realistic to have Beca get pregnant and give birth in the next two chapters.

3.) Many of you feel that Chloe is being way too overdramatic. But unless you yourself have ever struggled with any kind of fertility issues or miscarriages, you cannot know for sure how you would react to the situation. It is a very individual process. Some people recover from the news more quickly than others. There are some women who find it difficult to deal with and lash out as a result. Yes, Chloe is handling it poorly, but when you're dealing with depression, not eating, and drinking quite heavily, you're not in the right frame of mind. Chloe needs time to heal, and most importantly, recover.

4.) Last but not least, not every one of my chapters is going to be happy. Life isn't always happy. People all over the world deal with car accidents, infertility, parenting drama, and broken friendships. While happier times are ahead, I'm building a story line, and it needs to be built upon before moving on to the next parts.

I thank you for reading, and for your honest reviews, there were just a few things I wanted to clarify before moving forward.


	12. Crazy Maze

**Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review, it means more to me than you will ever know. I also appreciated your responses to my authors note. It wasn't geared towards any one specific person, but the responses seemed to be positive, so thank you for your support.**

 **I had hoped to get this chapter out sooner, but it required a lot of research, which took quite a bit of time. It's a bit of a hard read, but I hope you enjoy it just the same.**

 **Love to each of you!**

 **Bekah-Thank you.**

* * *

Beca and Jesse enjoyed quiet evenings at home, especially nights like this one. The sky was clear, the moon was full, the weather was mild, and the stars were twinkling beautifully. It was by all accounts, a beautiful night.

The truth was that they both had very busy, demanding careers, making quiet evenings at home all the more enjoyable. Considering the weekend they'd had, they needed to just relax and enjoy some time together. But the best part about the night was that it was the perfect ending to a not so perfect weekend.

"Admit it, you like the way I work it." Jesse jokingly sang as they laid in the hot tub together.

Beca rolled her eyes as she laughed at Jesse's antics. "You're full of yourself, you know that?"

Jesse scooted closer towards her as he began to lightly kiss her neck. "I certainly don't recall ever hearing you scream stop. You scream many things, stop, however, is not usually one of them." He reminded her, flashing his trademark smile. No matter how many times Jesse had Beca, it was never enough. He always found himself wanting her again and again.

Beca shrugged her shoulders as she took a drink of water. "I have a high sex drive. You just happened to be the first guy to come around."

"Oh! You wound me!" He said as he dramatically grabbed at his chest.

Off in the distance, Beca's phone began to ring. Jesse glanced over at her.

"Is that your booty call?"

"Probably. So many men wanting to satisfy my needs, so little time." She deadpanned.

Jesse chuckled, Beca never, ever missed a beat. She always had a comeback for everything. His smile quickly faded however, when he saw Beca's face.

Furrowing her brow, Beca looked down at her phone in confusion as she saw who was calling. If Luke was calling at ten o'clock on a Sunday night, then something was definitely wrong. It was odd for him to be trying to get in touch with her, especially at this hour.

"Hey Luke." Beca answered.

"Beca...are you busy?"

She could hear the strained attempt to keep his voice even and calm. Luke took a deep breath as he tried not to erupt into panic at any second. Beca listened to the silence coming from the other end of the phone, then briefly looked over to Jesse, who was quickly becoming concerned. She was eerily quiet, and the look on her face was one he wasn't familiar with.

When she finally found her voice, she very quietly and calmly asked, "What's wrong?"

Her body stiffened, as if to protect herself from the news that was coming. But there was little that would soften the blow. Even Jesse's attempts at rubbing her side weren't helping.

"I'm...uhh, I'm at Yale-New Haven." He managed to choke out. The next part was going to be even more difficult to tell her. "Chloe's been in a car accident."

"What?" It was all she could think to say. So many questions ran through her head after his statement, but all she could think to say was 'what'.

Luke tried his best to maintain his composure. His wife was in critical condition and having emergency surgery, and his parting words to her had been _'Yeah well, you're a bitch, so why don't you just go.'_

"Chloe's been in a car accident. Things are not good right now." He explained, trying to compose his thoughts. "The car flipped over, she was bleeding internally, and right now she's in surgery to find the bleed. Her spleen ruptured and needs to be removed if she has any hope of surviving."

Beca grabbed Jesse's hand and squeezed. She felt like she had just been kicked in the stomach and had the wind knocked out of her. All of the color immediately drained from her face and she started mumbling to Luke that she was on her way. When she hung up the phone she felt like she was going be sick all over the concrete, yet Jesse was still completely clueless about what was happening.

"Beca, what's going on? What the hell just happened?"

Beca paused and looked at him before grabbing her towel and standing up.

"That was Luke. Chloe was in a car accident tonight, um...everything's fine. She's in surgery so they can remove her spleen. I have to go be there so..."

Jesse could tell she was in a complete state of shock, and that there was no way she would be able to drive. Even with the hospital just twenty minutes from them, she was in no condition to be getting behind the wheel.

"If she's in surgery, everything's not fine."

Beca grabbed her stomach and looked away. The last time she'd seen Chloe was the night before and they'd fought. They hadn't left things in a good place, and Beca was suddenly regretting some of the things she said. Things she couldn't take back.

"Beca?"

Beca turned to face Jesse, trying not to explode, trying in vain to keep her emotions under control.

"Jesse, she has internal bleeding from an unknown source and her spleen ruptured and has to be removed. I don't know if she's going to make it or not." She hissed.

"What can we do?" Jesse asked, not really expecting to get an answer. "Do you want me to call Greta so we can go to the hospital?"

Alex's nanny, Greta, was a gift to their family, and had helped out in many situations when emergency, last minute child care was needed. Even late on a Sunday night, Beca knew if they called her she would be over in a heartbeat. But she was already scheduled to come over early the next morning, and Beca knew she would be in bed already. She didn't want to disturb her unless it was absolutely necessary.

"No, Greta will be here tomorrow at 7:30. Text Damian and have him rearrange my schedule. Call Stacie, ask her if Scott is on call, and tell her to come get me. I have to go get dressed."

She was running on complete autopilot, and Jesse was starting to wonder if Beca even grasped the gravity of the situation.

"Bec-" She cut him off immediately.

"Jesse, I'm fine. Now's not the time. Call Stacie, text Damian. Do it."

Running into the house, Beca stopped in the middle of the kitchen, and suddenly it was like she had lost all sense. Where was her bedroom? What time was it? What day was it? She couldn't move, she couldn't focus, she could barely breathe.

Snapping back to reality, she forced herself to put one foot in front of the other and move up the stairs one by one until she reached their bedroom.

Beca rushed into the walk in closet, and got a pair of denim shorts halfway up her legs before she realized she wasn't wearing any underwear. Huffing, she pulled the shorts back down, grabbed a pair of boy shorts style underwear, and repeated the process. She then threw on a bra and a solid black racer back tank top.

Beca looked up at the board Chloe had made for Beca when they graduated. It was a collage of pictures of them through the years. There was the picture of them on their very first hood night togther, and each subsequent hood night, Beca's 21st birthday where the girls spent the weekend in Atlantic City, Beca and Chloe at her baby shower, the one Beca was adamant she didn't want. There was the picture of Chloe, Beca, and Alex right after Alex had been born. The picture of Beca and Chloe at Beca's wedding, and in the very center, Beca and Chloe right after their very last ICCA championship.

Beca was hurt, and angry at Chloe, but it didn't take away the fact that she still loved her. Chloe was Beca's very first close female friend. Together, they found strength and support in each other. They also found out they had a lot in common.

Both girls had struggled with Anorexia in their early teens. Beca's mother had left her father when she was just nine years old. Chloe on the other hand, had been raised by her mother, who remained single after her father stole half their money and left when Chloe was just two years old. Beca always knew Chloe was a good person. Despite everything she had been through in her life, she still maintained a heart of gold, and saw the world through rose colored glasses. Chloe always made people feel loved, mostly because she knew what it was like to not feel loved. Unable to look away from the pictures, Beca tried not to pay attention to the nagging question in the back of her head, the one that made her wonder if Chloe had been driving drunk. It gnawed at her relentlessly, until it was suddenly all she could think about.

Time seemed to stand still. She wondered how long it had been since Luke had called. She wondered how much longer it was going to take for Stacie to arrive. Beca was desperate to get to the hospital already, but she knew she was in no condition to drive, so waiting was her only option.

Grabbing her blue and yellow Bella's zip up, she walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs where she proceeded to pace back and forth between the kitchen and the living room. Waiting, Wishing, Hoping. She couldn't sit still, and every time Jesse tried to talk to her, Beca's hand flew up. She was in no mood to discuss much of anything. Five minutes turned to ten minutes, which turned to fifteen minutes. Finally at 10:34, thirty six minutes after Beca received the call, Stacie ran through the door.

Beca immediately looked up at the sound. Stacie's hair was pulled up into a messy bun, she wore no make up, her glasses, a pair of black leggings, and her blue Bella's sweatshirt. Not trusting herself to speak, Beca got up and walked over to her, wrapping Stacie, who was already crying, in a hug. Pulling back, Beca made a comment about grabbing her bag and running into the kitchen.

Jesse hugged Stacie tightly, and thanked her for picking Beca up.

"I tried calling Scott, but he didn't answer." Stacie explained. Beca and Jesse nodded their heads, knowing this were more than likely chaotic in the Emergency Room at the moment. It made sense that he wouldn't answer his phone.

Beca grabbed her things, kissed Jesse, and told him she would call when she knew anything. With that, Beca and Stacie were out the door.

* * *

The drive was painfully silent. Neither of them was in the mood to listen to any kind of music, and finding words to say was proving to be a difficult task. Finally, ten minutes into the drive, Beca sighed. She could no longer keep the thought to herself any longer.

"God, I hope she wasn't drinking tonight." She whispered, her head pressed up against the window, not looking at Stacie.

Instantly, Stacie whipped her head to face Beca briefly before turning her attention back to the road.

"What?! Why the hell would Chloe be drinking and driving?!" Stacie demanded to know, feeling totally confused.

For a moment, Beca forgot that outside of Luke and Chloe, and she and Jesse, none of their friends had been brought up to speed on that drama currently unfolding in Chloe's life. Beca knew it was important for Stacie to know about the infertility, the drinking, the isolation, and the fear Beca felt knowing that if Chloe didn't get her ass in gear soon, Luke was not going to able to stand by any longer.

"Beca!" Stacie yelled. "Why am I just now hearing about this!? We have always had a cardinal rule in our circle that if one of us is in trouble, were all in it together. Scott is an ER doctor, and my father is a Psychiatrist. We out of everyone had tons of resources to pull from. Scott could have gotten Chloe set up with the best fertility specialist this side of the east coast!"

Beca knew where Stacie was coming from, and knew her anger was completely justified. She had reacted the exact same way when she found out about the situation.

"Stacie, I just found out myself last night. After everyone left last night, I went to Chloe and Luke's to confront them. Only then did I find out what was going on. By the time I got home last night, it was after 3am. I was in New York all day today with Jesse and Alex, and then when we got home, Jesse and I spent some time in the hot tub. I was planning on talking to you over lunch tomorrow, I'm sorry." Beca explained.

Stacie sighed. "It's not your fault, I'm just frustrated. We always have supported each other in the good times and the bad. Chloe could-"

She couldn't say the words. She refused to say out loud that there was a chance Chloe could die tonight. Saying it out loud made it a true reality.

"Chloe's in surgery right now, and this whole mess could have been avoided." She cried, shaking her head.

"I know, I'm just as torn up about it as you are." Beca sympathized.

Stacie pulled into the Emergency Room parking lot, and put the car in park, trying to compose herself before they got into the hospital. Beca got out of the car, and waited for Stacie to come around to the other side. As they made their way into the hospital, Stacie took Beca's hand in her's. Beca looked down at the gesture.

"We've got each other, no matter what happens tonight, we'll get through this together. I promise."

* * *

Luke paced back and forth, unable to sit still for more than a minute or two. Every door that opened, every doctor that appeared, provided a small glimmer of hope. A glimmer of hope that was dashed each time he wasn't approached.

He had called her a bitch. Those were the last words she had heard before leaving the house, and if she died tonight, Luke was going to have to live with this fact for the rest of his life. He couldn't understand how they had gotten this bad in the first place. Luke had never even raised his voice to Chloe before, let alone cursed her out. He had nothing but respect for his wife and the woman that she was. But lately, all the fighting, or the lack of fighting really, had gotten to him. He was frustrated, hurt, angry, and above all, Luke felt totally and completely alone.

Part of him blamed himself for the loneliness. They had a huge support system he could have utilized, but he chose not to. He chose to go along with what Chloe wanted, and that decision may very well be what kills her.

Finally having a seat in one of the chairs outside of the operating room, Luke pressed his hands to his lips as the tears rolled down his cheeks and he begged God not to take Chloe from him, not now, not yet.

Scott walked out into the waiting area and sat down next to Luke, putting his hand against his back. Not moving, Luke continued to sit as he stared straight ahead and allowed himself to finally release some of his pent up emotions.

"She made it through surgery." Scott informed him. Luke stopped, and slowly turned his head to face Scott.

"What?" He questioned, not believing the words.

"I just spoke to the surgeon. She's in pretty serious condition, Luke. They had to remove her spleen, she's got three cracked ribs, a broken arm, and some pretty bad lacerations on her arms and face, but she made it through the surgery. The worst is over."

Luke was overcome with emotion after hearing the news. Openly sobbing, he put his head in his hands. He had nearly lost his wife tonight, but by the grace of God she was still with him.

Scott sat next to him, trying to do whatever he could to comfort Luke and give him time to let the news sink in. As Luke blew out a breath and wiped the tears from his eyes, he turned to face Scott.

"I have to know what happened. And...and I need to know if she was drinking." He explained.

Scott nodded his head. "From what I know from speaking with the cops, witnesses placed Chloe at a stoplight on Main at Oak. When the light turned green, Chloe began rolling slowly. At the same time, a nineteen year old kid driving on Oak in a pickup truck blew through the red light at sixty five miles per hour and slammed into the right side of her car. Witnesses say her car flipped twice before landing in the culvert in front of Walgreens. When EMS got there, the car was upside down and filling with water through the broken window. Luke, I don't even know how she's alive right now. The force of the crash should have killed her instantly." Scott's words painted a vivid picture in Luke's mind, and he wondered what some of Chloe's last thoughts must have been. He wondered if she even saw the truck coming.

"The kid? The kid driving the truck?" Luke asked, wanting to know about his condition.

"He died. After the truck hit Chloe's car, he flew through the windshield. He was killed instantly. We do know however, that he had a blood alcohol concentration of .14. With a BAC that high, he had no right being behind the wheel. There would have been severe impact of vision and coordination." Scott informed.

"And Chloe?"

Scott sighed. "Based on the samples of her blood, Chloe's BAC was measuring at .06. Which indicates that she most likely had a drink or two recently, but she was still under the legal limit."

Luke nodded his head, feeling grateful. He knew it could have so easily been her causing the car accident.

"Look, Luke, I gotta ask, man. You and I are friends, and we've known each other for over four years. Stacie and Chloe have known each other even longer. Chloe doesn't drink and drive, I know that. She was under the legal limit, but it was close. Friendship aside, as her attending physician, I need to know if she's okay."

The doors opened, and Luke was distracted by the sight of Beca and Stacie running in.

Stacie ran straight into Scott's arms and hugged him tightly as her tears stained his scrubs. Knowing she was scared and confused, he held onto her tightly as he stroked her back and whispered words of assurance in her ear.

Beca stood, unable to move, as she stared at Luke willing him to tell her that Chloe was alright. . She was trying to prepare herself. If he was about to tell her that her best friend was dead, she was going to need to be strong. She wanted so badly to speak, and to ask questions, but every time she tried to open her mouth, nothing came out. She stood in the hall, and stared, as tears fell silently.

"She's gonna be okay." Luke finally whispered, unable to speak any louder. Beca's eyes closed at the sound of the news, and she finally felt her lungs open up which allowed her to breathe easy for the first time since she got the phone call. Her body began to shake as she gave into her emotions and allowed herself to cry. Walking over to her, Luke hugged her tightly.

"She's gonna be okay." He reassured her. "They had to remove her spleen, she's got three cracked ribs, a broken arm, and some lacerations to her face and arms, but she's gonna be okay."

Beca nodded and pulled back from him, wiping the tears from her eyes. She and Stacie looked as miserable as Luke felt and they had only just arrived.

Luke excused himself to talk with Scott privately. Together they were going to figure out the best course of action where Chloe's medical care and recovery were concerned.

Sitting down in a corner of the waiting room, Luke began to explain everything.

"Chloe and I will celebrate our third wedding anniversary in three weeks. We were married in September of 2014, and by January, she was ready to start a family. More than anything in this world, Chloe wants to be a mother. She loves Alex, that little girl is her absolute joy. Chloe wanted a child of her own that she could love and care for. It was going to be tight, my practice was just getting off the ground and Chloe had just started building her client list. But I knew that we would do fine, and we would make it. So we bought a four bedroom family house. I come a big family, two sisters and three brothers. Chloe grew up as an only child. We both agreed we wanted a big family, we dreamed of the day our home would be filled with the pitter patter of little feet."

Luke sighed as he stood up and looked out the window, admiring the city lights. Those early memories had been incredible.

"We started trying in February. There was no pressure, no charting or keeping records or anything. Chloe went off the pill, and we waited for it to happen. Her periods were just awful after she stopped birth control. She had been on it since she was fifteen to help with her cycle, and I quickly understood why. She would have cramping so bad it would cause her to throw up. For four days out of the month she was pretty much incapacitated. I suggested she go to her doctor to see if there was anything they could do, but she refused. She was convinced she would get pregnant soon and it would no longer be an issue. But she wasn't pregnant. February turned to March, which turned to April, and by August, we still weren't pregnant."

Scott listened quietly, knowing that this was a topic Luke hadn't had the chance to discuss with many people. He wanted him to know they had all the time in the world, and there was no rush to explain everything that had happened.

"In September, she finally went to her gynecologist to see if there was something wrong. Because we had only been trying for seven months, they said there wasn't much they could do. They don't start recommending infertility treatment until you've been unable to conceive after trying for a year or more. They did an internal exam on Chlo, and they did an ultrasound on her uterus. It was then that they discovered the scarring. She had endometriosis, and it explained why her periods were so severe. They told us that having a baby wasn't impossible, but it wasn't going to be as easy as they had hoped. But Chloe was getting her period every month, which was a good sign."

"Chloe," He sighed. "is always so positive and easygoing. She tried to not let it bother her, but I could tell, I could tell she was devastated. It was June of last year when we finally agreed it was time to look into other options. We met with a fertility specialist, and both of us went through extremely invasive testing. Testing that just strips you of your manhood, and leaves you wondering what the point of all of it is. I wanted a baby with my wife, and somehow I found myself in a private room with magazines and videos to help produce a sperm sample."

All of the memories of the previous Summer came back to him, and he closed his eyes, trying to block the memories. Those three months had not been a highlight in his marriage to Chloe.

"We found out in July that Chloe's endometriosis was even worse than what the gynecologist had thought. Additional testing revealed a blocked fallopian tube. The sperm wasn't even getting a chance to meet with the egg. The doctor sat us down and explained that based on the results, we had about a 5% chance of ever conceiving naturally. I watched as Chloe just fell apart. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to witness, especially knowing I couldn't fix it. Once we got home, she didn't come out of our bedroom for five straight days. There was nothing I could do for her and it killed me. I just held her while she cried and tried to remind her constantly that I loved her. That no matter what happened, she was always going to be loved."

He swallowed the lump in his throat as the tears returned. That week after the initial diagnosis had been one of the hardest weeks of their lives. Chloe was getting sick to her stomach and could barely keep her eyes open. He did everything in his power to make sure she didn't slip back into her eating disorder. As he stared out the window, he allowed the memory to sink back in.

 _"Chlo? I'm home" Luke announced after he walked into the kitchen and set his briefcase down. Chloe had been home alone for first time since they received the news, and Luke had been on edge all day. He would have preferred to stay home with her until she was more stable, but he had been working on a big case, and he couldn't exactly tell the courts to put things on hold._

 _Knowing neither of them was going to be in the mood to cook, he called in for a pizza and salad for dinner, and headed up to their bedroom to change._

 _He heard the noise as soon as he walked in, and it froze him in his tracks. The sound of Chloe throwing up was something Luke had prayed and wished for many times, as it would have signaled possible morning sickness. But as he stood there, he sighed, this wasn't morning sickness._

 _The toilet flushed, and the sink quickly turned on. He sat on the bed and waited for her to finish up._

 _Opening the door, Chloe jumped in surprise, not expecting to see Luke. "Jesus! Don't do that to me!" She groaned, her hand clutching her chest. Her bloodshot blue eyes was the first thing he noticed as he looked up at her._

 _"Chloe...I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me. Did you just make yourself throw up? Or is it because of the stress?" It wasn't an easy question to ask by any means, but he needed to know._

 _Chloe folded her arms across her chest and turned her head to the side. Luke knew instantly. Chloe could never look him in the eye and lie to him._

 _"What does it matter anyway?" She mumbled as she climbed back into bed, her back facing towards him._

 _Luke's heart broke at the sound of her words, and he immediately scooted closer to her, wrapping his arms around her and planting soft kisses against her back and shoulder._

 _"It does matter. You matter, your health matters. Baby, I am not going to let you go down this path again. I know you're hurting, but this is not the answer. Don't do this to yourself baby, don't." He begged. Chloe began to sob, and he swore he could feel her heart shattering into pieces._

 _Luke held her tightly as he reminded her over and over again how very much he loved her._

 _"Maybe I should call Beca. She's been through this too, she knows what it's like." He suggested._

 _Chloe was adamant. "NO!" She yelled out. "You're not calling Beca, or anyone else for that matter. I don't want anyone else knowing. You have to promise me Luke, promise me you won't tell anyone. Not about the eating disorder, not about the infertility. Promise me."_

 _"Okay, I promise, I promise won't say anything." He assured her. Chloe nodded her head, seeming to calm down slightly. He kissed her forehead and held her in his arms. He knew he shouldn't have made the promise, he was in over his head._

"I let her decide what happened next. I'm a flexible type of guy, so I was ready to adjust accordingly. I always envisioned myself having a big family, but I was okay discovering new dreams if I had to. I would have been totally fine traveling the world together and spending time with our nieces and nephews. We've all become a family to each other, and between the eight other couples, and my five siblings, I knew we would be plenty busy. But Chloe wasn't ready to give up that easily. We agreed we would take a little break, and in September, for our second anniversary, we spent ten days in Italy. It was by far the most phenomenal trip we have ever taken, and we had an incredible time together. After we got home, the holiday's were in full swing, and so we decided we would start fresh in January."

"The doctor put her on three different types of drugs, and it was basically the beginning of the end. Everything became extremely regimented and planned. She had downloaded an app on her phone that told her when she was ovulating, there were injections she needed to take, we could only have sex on certain days." He shook his head, feeling defeated.

"Everything became cold and calculated. We weren't making love because we wanted to be with each other, we were having sex for the sole purpose of making a baby. And yet, despite all of our efforts, she still wasn't getting pregnant. By April, she was on a downward spiral. Those fertility drugs are no joke, and they took quite a toll on her body. She started gaining weight, she was constantly moody and on edge, and she began having trouble sleeping at night. They suggested IVF as the next step. Come to find out, one cycle was going to set us back $30,000. With that kind of price tag, we had one shot to get it right. The chances of it working were only 25%. The odds terrified Chloe and after that, she just shut down on me. She didn't want anybody to know what was going on, and she stopped going out. She started drinking wine...lots and lots of wine. Of course it didn't start out that way. At first, it was just an extra glass or two at dinner. But slowly, I began notice that anytime I tried to have a conversation with her about the infertility or tried to get her to talk to me, she instinctively would ignore me and pour herself a glass."

"I have watched the collapse of my marriage over the past four months and it's killed me. I love her, God, do I love her. She has put me through hell this year, but I never once stopped loving her. I know the woman I married is in there somewhere, and I will do whatever it takes to get her back. Somebody just tell me what to do, tell me what to do, because I can't keep going through this anymore." He cried. Luke had shouldered the pain of the last year privately, but he was done. He didn't want to deal with this alone anymore.

"You don't have to deal with this alone anymore."

Luke turned at the sound of Beca's voice.

"What do you want me to do? What can I do to help?" Beca asked, needing to feel useful.

Luke ran his fingers through his hair. "If you and Stacie could, run by the house and pack her a bag of clothes. A toothbrush, soap, shampoo, deodorant. And as hard as this is going to be on her, I think we need to end the hormone treatments, so don't pack those. In fact, flush them, please."

Beca nodded in agreement. "Chloe's body needs time to heal, the drugs need to stop immediately if she's going to get better. It may not be what she wants, but I agree, it needs to happen. I support your decision."

"What about counseling? My dad's practice in New Haven is always accepting new patients. They offer everything from individual counseling to marriage counseling to intensive outpatient programs for those struggling with drug and alcohol problems. I don't think Chloe's an alcoholic, but she's definitely using alcohol to mask her feelings. She needs to learn better coping skills." Stacie suggested.

Luke knew it was the truth. Chloe wasn't an alcoholic, yet. But if things continued on the same path, it wouldn't be long before there was another car accident. He knew that in order for things to get better, they would both benefit from individualized therapy, as well as marriage counseling.

"Can you set that up?" He asked.

"Absolutely, I'll make a call first thing in the morning and let you know when they have openings. I know she'll be in recovery for a few weeks, so I can see about someone coming to you guys at first." Stacie offered.

"You know Luke, I'm not saying it would have been easy to come to us with something so personal, but we never would have judged you or Chloe. We would have done everything possible for both of you. This all could have been avoided with one phone call. You had countless resources."

He hung his head and sighed, knowing she was right. I know that now. Hell, I knew it then. I've been beating myself up for days for being so stupid. I should have said something a long time ago." He said, feeling immense guilt for not reaching out.

"We'll help you get through this just the same, were family."

"Thank you." Luke gave her a hug, thankful for her help and for Beca's. It wasn't going to be easy, but at least there was a plan starting to come together.

"Dr. Ramsey?"

A nurse approached the four of them as Beca and Stacie were getting ready to leave.

"Yes?"

"Chloe Barnes, the patient you brought up from the ER? She's awake now."

* * *

He wasn't at all sure what to expect when he walked into the room. He was nervous, timid, exhausted, and yet overjoyed, knowing she was still with them.

Slowly, he pushed the door open and walked into the room, unsure of what he was going to find.

It was quiet. The only noise to be heard was the beeping of the machines, signaling that Chloe was alive. Pulling back the curtain that separated the two beds, he gasped when he saw her.

His heart ached for her. In a hospital gown, Chloe laid in the bed, looking almost unrecognizable. The bed made her look even tinier than she already was.

Her curly red hair was pulled back into a messy pony tail, out of her face. Her skin, normally giving a soft tanned glow, suddenly looked pale and cold. Above her right eyebrow, was a piece of gauze that has been held in place by two bandaids.

Her eyes were dazed and distant, and she had trouble keeping them open. She was just barely awake. Luke looked down to see her right arm in a sling, and the many bruises covering her arms. He could only imagine what her legs looked like.

She was a mess, there was no doubt about it. But she was a beautiful mess, his mess, and despite it all she was alive and no matter what, she would always be beautiful. Luke had never been more thankful for her than he had in that moment.

"You're here." She croaked, her mouth dry, her body aching. Everything hurt, her face, her arms, her chest, her legs. Everything from the top of her head to her toes was in pain.

Luke nodded his head as the tears rolled down his face. "I'll always be here." He said as he pulled the chair by the window towards the bed.

"Luke...what happened?" Chloe asked, not sure if she wanted to know or not. She knew there had to have been an accident, she just prayed it wasn't her fault.

"What's the last thing you can remember?" He asked.

Chloe closed her eyes as she began to cry. Whether from the pain or the memory, she wasn't exactly sure. "You were telling me how you remembered the first time we met. You told me you could still remember the dress I wore that night and you remembered every detail of how I looked." She whispered, trying to think back on happier times.

"You were in a car accident Chloe. A drunk nineteen year old kid ran a red light. You've just had emergency surgery to remove your spleen. You've got a broken arm and three cracked ribs but you're going to be okay." He explained as he took her left hand into his.

"I didn't...Was I..." She could hardly get the words out. Luke shook his head.

"No, you didn't cause the accident. You had alcohol in your system, but you didn't do anything to cause it."

Chloe shook her head as the tears continued to flow. This wasn't the type of person she was, this wasn't how she dealt with her problems and she knew. She didn't want to hurt anymore, she didn't want to be alone any longer.

"Luke...I don't want to be alone in this anymore." She cried. Luke squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes.

"I don't either." He whispered as he kissed her cheek.

Sobbing, Chloe held onto him tightly. "Please help me."

"Always, I will always be here to help you and support you. You don't have to be alone any longer, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

With tears streaming down their cheeks, Luke bent down to kiss Chloe lightly.

"I'm not going anywhere, I love you."

"I love you too."


	13. Flashlight

**I hope you all have enjoyed this story so far, I have lots in store for my favorite family, and I hope you stick around for it. Please leave a review, I love hearing from each of you!**

 **Bekah-I'm beyond grateful for your friendship.**

* * *

It was only 9am, and already Beca knew it was going to be a long day. Jesse had been all kinds of frisky when he woke up that morning, and though she assured him they didn't have time, he promised her it would only take five minutes. When had it ever taken _just_ five minutes? As he began kissing her neck and brushing his hand against her stomach before dipping it into her shorts and running his fingers through her folds, paying special attention to her clit, she lost her willpower and gave in. Thirty minutes and two rounds later, she was scrambling to get in the shower and get ready for the Labor Day party they were throwing at their house.

Beca rubbed her forehead and sighed the moment she heard Alex moving around upstairs. She knew Alex's movements like the back of her hand and could tell this was going to be one of _those_ days. Beca continued to listen as Alex banged around in the bathroom. Alex was not at all a morning person and was usually very quiet, so when she began to stomp down the stairs, it took everything in Beca not to run and hide. For a quick minute, she actually thought about crawling into the cabinet with the tupperware. She selfishly wondered if she could talk Alex into going back to sleep for a while after she'd eaten breakfast.

Beca was leaning over the kitchen island making a short list of the last minute things she needed from the grocery as well as things that needed to be done around the house when Alex walked into the kitchen and wrapped her body around her legs. Beca took a deep breath, this was definitely _not_ going to be a good day.

"Hi baby."

"Ugh..." Alex responded.

Beca tried desperately to remember that Alex was only four years old, and that everyone was entitled to a bad day. "What do you want for breakfast this morning, yogurt and fruit or cereal and fruit?" Beca asked, not looking up from the paper.

Alex whined in response.

"Mommy, it's Sunday. I want waffles." She groaned.

The Swanson's had traditions, and homemade waffles topped with butter and hot maple syrup on Sunday was just one of those traditions. It was little things that made their house a happy home. But it was days like today when they simply didn't have the time, that made Beca think that traditions were silly and unnecessary.

"Alex, I'm very sorry, but we have a lot of people coming over for the party today. I really don't have time to make waffles."

Alex whined, which caused Beca to grit her teeth. It was too early and she hadn't had enough coffee to be dealing with this. Alex was by and large a very even keeled, well mannered child, but when she whined, it was like nails on a chalk board. Alex had her occasional moods, but for the most part, Beca and Jesse took for granted the fact that she was mature, and very rarely threw a tantrum. For whatever reason, the moment her feet hit the floor that morning, she was in an awful mood, and she needed everyone to know about it.

"What if I promise to make waffles on Saturday _and_ Sunday next weekend?" Beca asked rubbing the top of Alex's head, secretly hoping that she would take the bait and cheer up.

Alex shook her head. "But I want waffles today."

Beca tried desperately to hold it together and concentrate on her list, but Alex was rubbing on her legs like a damn cat, and nearly pulled her shorts down as she whined and hung all over her. Grabbing at her shorts, she glared down at Alex.

"Alex!" She said, raising her voice slightly, "Enough!"

"I want waffles!" Alex yelled.

Beca finally stopped what she was doing and took a deep breath as she put her pen down. There was absolutely no way she was going to be able to focus with Alex directly under her. Taking another deep breath, she willed herself to keep her emotions in check. She wasn't about to let a four year old get to her.

"Alexandra, you have two options for breakfast. You can have yogurt and fruit, or you can have cereal and fruit. When you've made your decision, let me know." Beca explained calmly. Alex's shoulders drooped as she began to cry. Instantly, she threw herself to the floor and began to have a massive meltdown.

"I want waffles!" She screamed as she cried and kicked the floor. Beca stood over her with her arms folded as she glared at her daughter who was kicking and screaming and thrashing about.

"I'm hungry, you have to feed me!" She continued to cry.

"Yogurt, cereal, fruit." Beca repeated.

"NO!" Alex screamed as she kicked the kitchen island. Beca had half a mind to immediately pick her up and send her back to bed, without breakfast.

Instead, she stared at her, her lips pursed together, as Alex waited for her to make her next move. Her tear filled eyes looked up at Beca as she continued to whine and sniffle. "Are you done yet?" Beca asked.

Alex laid on the floor and stared back up at her, her eyes filled with tears. "I'm telling Daddy you're being mean to me!" She cried as she got off of the floor and ran upstairs.

"You go right ahead and do that." Beca mumbled as she went back to her list.

* * *

Up in the master bedroom, Jesse had just gotten out of the shower and was about to get dressed when he heard the knock on the door, and Alex crying hysterically.

He quickly put a pair of boxers on and opened the door, finding Alex in her pajamas, her hair a mess, and crying. He bent down to pick her up and ran soothing circles against her back, trying to get her to calm down. Alex's arms wrapped around his neck tightly as she laid her head against his shoulder.

"Baby what's wrong?" He asked as he swayed.

Alex continued to cry. "Mommy's being mean! She won't feed me!"

Jesse couldn't help but laugh. "What?"

"It's not funny!" Alex yelled. "She's going to let me starve!"

Jesse tried his best to keep a straight face. "Give me a minute to get dressed, then we'll go downstairs and get everything straightened out."

Alex agreed and laid on the bed as Jesse threw on a pair of jeans and a button down shirt. He grabbed the bottle of Calvin Klein cologne and applied it to his neck and wrists. After looking in the mirror to make sure he looked okay, he picked Alex up and headed downstairs. Beca was out on the deck opening the umbrellas and putting the cushions on the chairs.

"There _she_ is Daddy! Yell at her!" Alex demanded. Jesse looked over at her.

"Excuse me? _She_ has a name and no, I will not yell at Mommy, it's rude." He explained.

"I've heard you guys yell in your bedroom though!" Alex insisted.

Beca froze and Jesse's eyes went wide.

Jesse blew out a breath as he tried to move on. "Anyway! So what's going on between you two this morning?"

"I told you...Mommy won't feed me." Alex grumbled, her face in a pout.

"Ha!" Beca laughed. "Oh no ma'am, if you're going to go crying to Daddy, you need to tell him the whole story." She insisted.

"I told Mommy I want waffles." Alex said, relenting.

"And I told you that I have far too much to do this morning. There is not enough time for me to make waffles and clean up. I've offered you yogurt or cereal and some fruit...take it or leave it but if you choose not to eat what's been offered, just remember it's a long time til lunch."

Technically, Jesse did have time to make waffles and clean up, but Beca had put her foot down. She and Jesse did not undermine each other and strived to present a united front at all times. If Beca told Alex she couldn't have waffles, then that was the end of it. Jesse stood by and supported her decision.

Sitting down on one of the chairs, Jesse pulled Alex into his lap. "Listen, I'm sorry that you can't have waffles this morning. I know Sunday's are normally a big breakfast day for us, but we're having a party today, and a lot of people are coming over. Mommy and I have a lot of things to do to get ready, and so there's no time for a big breakfast. You're not always going to get your way Alex. If we say no to something, that's it. Throwing a tantrum isn't going to get you your way."

Alex nodded her head and wrapped her arms around Jesse's neck, hugging him tightly. Beca couldn't help but feel a slight bit of frustration and jealousy. As her mother, Beca got all of Alex's moods, good and bad. Alex was far more likely to lash out at Beca than Jesse. Beca tried to convince herself that it was because Alex was most comfortable around her, but occasionally, it still stung.

"Alex, I think you know what you need to do now." Jesse instructed. Alex scooted off of his lap and walked over to where Beca was standing.

"I'm sorry I wasn't nice to you Mommy. I'm ready for breakfast now." Alex whispered as she walked over to Beca.

Beca sighed and tried to shake off the frustration she felt with her as she gave Alex a hug and they headed inside.

* * *

Alex had requested Cap'n Crunch and a bowl of frozen peaches. As she sat at the table eating, Beca knew she had to bring the topic up, but would have felt much better broaching the subject had Alex not been in such a piss poor mood.

"Alex, I want to talk to you about something." Beca began as she sat down next to her.

Beca did not believe that her daughter was spoiled. Their family did not lavish her with gifts at every turn, nor did they give into her every request. Alex got presents for her birthday and for Christmas. Occasionally, if she had been particularly well behaved and asked for something when they were out, Beca and Jesse would allow her to get a small treat. However, what Alex lacked in material things, she more than made up for in attention. She was, after all, an only child. On top of being an only child, she was the first...everything. First child, first grandchild, first Godchild, first niece, etc. As the first, and as a very spunky, cute, and mature little girl, everyone fawned over her. Which was great, except for the fact that at some time, the constant, complete, undivided attention was going to come to an end. And that time was now.

On July 24th, Aubrey had given birth to Connor Matthew and Caroline Grace. Their friends and family were thrilled to have little ones once again. Beca knew that everyone would want to hold the babies and talk with Aubrey and Unicycle about how life with twins was. On top of that, Amy was five months pregnant with her first child, who she had just recently found out was a boy, much to Bumper's delight. Beca knew that she had to prepare Alex for the fact that the spotlight wasn't going to be on her the entire time.

"So, today, Aunt Aubrey and Uncle Matt are coming over with Connor and Caroline." Beca explained.

Alex nodded as she swallowed her cereal. "Yup."

Beca took a breath. "So I need you to understand that you might have to wait a little bit today to talk or play with someone. You have cousins now, and we want to make sure that they get attention as well."

Alex stared at her. "That's fine, I'll still be able to play with Aunt CeeCee." She said, not thinking anything of it. Beca knew she wasn't going to fully understand what this meant until the party was in full swing. And judging by her morning meltdown, Beca wasn't sure quite how Alex was going to respond.

"Mommy, are Uncle Luke and Aunt Chloe coming today?" Alex asked.

"No baby. I wish they could, but Aunt Chloe still needs to rest for a few more weeks." Beca explained.

It had only been a little over a week since Chloe's accident, and there was still a long way to go as far as physical recovery went. Emotional recovery was going to take even longer.

"Oh, good." Alex answered, happily relieved.

Beca's eyes went wide. "Alexandra Kate!"

Alex showed no emotion as she glanced over at Beca. "What? I'm mad at Aunt Chloe!"

Beca and Jesse had tried to explain things to Alex, but it wasn't easy. Four year olds don't exactly understand infertility, depression or drinking problems. Alex couldn't possibly comprehend that the reason Chloe hadn't seen her was because it reminded her of what she couldn't have.

Jesse walked into the kitchen to grab an apple when Beca glanced over at him.

"It's gonna to be one hell of a day."

* * *

"Aunt CeeCee!" Alex yelled the second the tall brunette made her way into the house. Jumping down from the chair, Alex made a mad dash into her arms. Stacie picked her up and hugged her tightly.

"What about the screams of joy when Uncle Scott shows up? I mean, I know I can't compare to the Goddess known as Aunt CeeCee, but I love you just the same." Scott laughed as he came in behind Stacie.

"Scotty!" Jesse yelled exuberantly as he ran into the foyer and hugged Scott tightly, slapping his back.

"Not exactly what I was expecting, but I'll take it."

Everyone was all smiles as they made their way into the kitchen and got caught up on what had been going on over the last week.

Alex's clinginess was as evident as ever as she refused to loosen her grip on Stacie's body. Though Stacie was more than happy to hold her niece, she couldn't help but notice the extra attention she was striving for. Stacie caught Beca's eye and pointed at Alex's back as she furrowed her brow in confusion. Beca shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Your guess is as good as mine", she mouthed.

* * *

The weather was beautiful for a cook out. The sun shinned brightly and a warm breeze swept through the trees as the clouds drifted through the blue skies. While the boys drank beer and manned the grill, the girls relaxed by the pool, sipping wine coolers and chatting.

"Hey who are the Giants playing on Thursday night?" Donald asked as he dropped a lime into his Corona.

"The Colts." Jesse said as he checked on the chicken. "And defense better get their shit together this time. I swear we always end up losing to Indianapolis."

"Bro, it's only preseason." Scott reassured him.

Jesse took a sip of his beer before answering. "True, but pre-season is pretty indicative of how we do in the regular season. And we have sucked the last few years. There's a lot riding on this season."

"I'm just glad you don't support New England, being from Boston and all. I might have had to kick your ass." Unicycle chimed in.

The small talk of football and work continued as the boys drank and prepared the food when Mike cleared his throat.

"Alright boys, it's time for a cheers. Ashley's pregnant!" He announced, his beer raised up.

Instantly the men were patting him on the back and congratulating him.

"She's due March 23rd. Morning sickness has been a bit rough on her, but we're really excited." He continued.

Bumper rested his hand on Mike's shoulder. "Dude, two words, pregnancy sex. That shit is awesome. If you thought trying was fun, just you wait!" He said with a wink. Jesse and Benji rolled their eyes.

Mike glanced over to Jesse. "Is it true? Did Beca want it more when she was pregnant?"

Jesse opened his mouth, but was instantly cut off by Bumper. Which, surprisingly, he was grateful for. Jesse really didn't feel like discussing his and Beca's sex life with his friends. The idea of telling his friends what his wife was like in bed did not sit well with him. He glanced down at the pool area where she was sitting with the girls in her sapphire bikini top and a pair of jean shorts. Talking about her sexual abilities felt completely disrespectful.

"...Amy has this move where she lifts her leg and-"

"DUDE! Amy is my friend, I don't want any images in my head of her doing anything sexual, please and thank you." Scott interjected. The guys sighed in relief and thanked Scott with their eyes.

* * *

"Oh, Becs, I almost forgot, we have lamaze class this Thursday at seven at the hospital." Amy remarked as she sunned on a lounge chair, sipping a virgin pina colada.

Beca's head pulled back in confusion. "Lamaze class?!" She questioned.

"Yeah, you know, _'hee hee hoo, hee hee hoo.'_ I know _you_ pushed little butt over there out with no drugs, but some of us would prefer to be knocked out completely." Amy tried to explain causing Beca to roll her eyes.

"Amy, I know what Lamaze class is, the more important question is why the hell I'm going with you! That's Bumper's job!"

"Why do we call him Bumper?" Alex piped up as she swam around the pool with her floaties.

"Oh, that's because Hat and Unicycle were already taken." Stacie explained, causing everyone but Alex to laugh.

"Bec, it's just a formality in case Bumper chokes in the delivery room. You're the backup coach." Amy insisted, getting back to the question.

"I love you Amy, but I am not going in the delivery room with you." Beca reiterated.

"Fine, but you're still going to classes with me."

Beca rolled her eyes and gave in figuring she didn't have much of a choice.

"Hey, Aubrey, would you mind if I held my niece or nephew?" Beca asked as she looked down to Connor and Caroline who were relaxed in the shade on their playmat.

Aubrey picked up Connor and handed him over to Beca, whose heart instantly doubled in size as she took him in her arms. In his tiny swim trunks, swim top, and hat, he wrapped his hand around her finger and gazed up at her taking a big yawn and blinking. The sweet boy was absolutely precious.

"So, I guess this is as good a time as any..." Ashley began. The girls looked over at her.

"I'm pregnant. We're due March 23rd!" She announced, causing everyone to erupt into squeals of delight. The girls each took turns hugging her and congratulating her. Instantly the questions began of who she had chosen for her OB, how the morning sickness was going, and how she told Mike.

Alex watched from the pool, glaring at the adults. She hadn't gotten much attention since everyone had arrived. No one was interested in watching her dance, nobody would play with her on the swingset, and every time she tried to talk with someone, her mother was reminding her not to be rude and explaining that the adults were talking and she needed to wait her turn. Swimming over to the steps, she jumped out. She was tired of being ignored.

"Mommy, I want to sit in your lap." Alex insisted as she ran over to Beca.

"Baby I'm sorry, but you're sopping wet right now, and I'm holding Connor for a little bit." Beca explained gently. Alex stared as Beca held the tiny baby in her arms and smiled down at him, gently stroking his cheek.

"Why? You're _my_ mommy not his!" Alex hissed. Beca stared at her. Alex had been fine for the past several hours, and Beca was hopeful whatever mood she had been in that morning was over with, but now she could see it starting to return.

"Alex, don't start this. When you've toweled off, I will hold you." Beca whispered softly, trying not to create a scene.

"I want you to hold me now! I don't want to towel off! You need to put baby Connor down _right_ now mommy! _I'm_ supposed to be your baby!" Alex yelled.

Beca leaned in closely and spoke sternly. "Alexandra, this is your last chance. If you can't straighten up, you will go inside. Final warning"

"NO! You're being a meanie head today!" Alex yelled loudly as she stomped her foot. Beca closed her eyes in frustration and embarrassment. She needed a minute to compose herself before she reamed her daughter out. In the mean time, Stacie stepped in.

"Alexandra! You need to apologize right now." Stacie demanded. "You do not call your mother names and you do not yell at her!"

Jesse and Beca had always had an understanding among their friends regarding Alex and whatever future children they would go on to have. Their friends were family to them, and Alex regarded them as her Aunt's and Uncle's. Beca and Jesse had made it clear from the beginning that it took a village to raise a child. Each of them was given the right to verbally discipline Alex and call her out when she was acting inappropriately. It was an extremely rare occasion that Alex ever acted rudely, but Stacie knew if there were ever a time to step in and help discipline, it was now.

Alex whipped her head around to face Stacie. "Leave me alone Aunt CeeCee! You can't tell me what to do!"

Beca was horrified. She didn't have the slightest clue what Alex's problem was, but she was over the attitude.

"She has every right to tell you what to do, do you hear me? You march your butt into the house right this second. Don't test me right now Alexandra Kate!" Beca boomed, the anger boiling up inside of her, like a raging fire.

Alex's eyes were wide as she had never heard Beca yell at her the way she just had. Before she could even move two steps, Beca grabbed her by the hand and she was dragging her up onto the deck and into the house. Jesse could see the aggravated look on Beca's face as they made their way past him.

"Hey, everything okay?" He asked. Beca shook her head as she walked Alex into the house with her.

Stacie was closely behind Beca and Alex, and stopped to talk to Jesse as they went inside.

"Hey, did something happen down there? The last time I saw Beca that pissed, Chloe had made Alex cry." Jesse inquired. Stacie shook her head.

"Dude, I don't have the slightest clue what Alex's problem is today, but good Lord is that child mouthy." Stacie explained.

Jesse closed his eyes and sighed. "Shit. Was she mouthing off again? She was in a mood this morning."

"She yelled at Beca, and then when I stepped in, she yelled at me."

Jesse was embarrassed. He and Beca did not raise Alex to behave this way, and no matter what was bothering her, it was no excuse for her to be disrespectful.

"Stace." He said apologetically, "I am so sorry. No matter what's bothering Alex, it is no excuse for her to be disrespectful. I'll go talk to her." Putting his beer down, he stepped inside to check in on his girls.

Standing Alex in the living room, Beca got down to her level and tried not to completely lose her cool. Beca had never been so embarrassed by Alex's behavior.

"You listen to me right now. I don't know what happened last night, if you didn't get enough sleep, or if you had bad dreams, but this attitude today is unacceptable. Unacceptable! You will not kick things, and you _will not_ raise your voice to me, or Aunt CeeCee, or anyone else for that matter. Is that understood young lady?"

Alex stared at Beca, not saying anything.

"You have shown me that you cannot handle being outside with your family right now, you need to go up to your room and take a minute to think about your behavior." Beca continued.

Alex stomped her foot again.

"No, _Beca_! I'm not going to my room!" She yelled as she stuck her tongue out at her.

Beca was beyond furious. Alex had never behaved this way before. It was rare enough for her to have one tantrum in a day, let alone two. She stood in front of her, trying to manage her anger and think of her next plan of action when she heard Jesse's voice.

"Alexandra Kate Swanson! Upstairs, now!" He yelled.

Alex jumped slightly in surprise, not expecting Jesse.

Jesse was horrified to hear her talking that way to Beca and absolutely was not going to stand for it. When Alex stood there, still not moving, Jesse continued.

"Do you need my help? I said 'Get upstairs'!"

Instantly, Alex responded and Jesse watched as she stomped her way up the stairs, crying.

He then turned his attention back to Beca, his eyes wide.

"What the hell is her problem today?" He asked, hoping she knew it was meant as a rhetorical question.

Beca ran her fingers through her hair. "I have no idea."

"Hey, c'mere." He whispered as he pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly.

"You go back outside with the girls and enjoy yourself, I'll deal with little Miss Sassy Pants."

"Thank you." Beca whispered as she kissed him lightly on the lips.

She walked back outside, and Jesse headed up the stairs to find Alex sitting on her bed. She looked up at the sound of his footsteps. He sat down on her bed and stared at her, she knew instantly he was not happy.

"It is never, _ever_ , okay to yell at your mother like that or to call her by her first name. Do you understand me?" He began. Alex nodded her head.

"Use your words, Alex."

"Yes sir." She pouted.

"I know you've had a rough day, but this type of behavior will not be allowed in this house. Your mommy does a lot for you, and you will always treat her with love and respect. By yelling at Mommy, you hurt her feelings and mine. I'm very disappointed in you right now. If I had spoken that way to Mimi or to one of my aunts, I would have been spanked."

Alex's eyes widened in fear at the thought of being spanked by Jesse. She lowered her head and began to cry.

"Are you going to spank me?" She whimpered.

Jesse shook his head. "No, I'm not going to spank you. But you _are_ going to be punished. There will be no TV for a week, and I'm going to go talk to Aunt Jessica and tell her that you'll have to miss your dance classes this week."

Alex's biggest passion at the moment was dance, she lived for it, and never missed a class. Jesse knew that not being allowed to go was going to hit her hard.

Alex instantly looked up at him, sobbing.

"No! I want to go to dance class! I won't be mean to Mommy anymore. Please let me go to dance class! I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I won't do it again!" She begged. Jesse shook his head.

"You don't yell at Mommy, Alex. And I talked to Stacie, I know you yelled at her too. It is important that you respect the adults in your life. If Aunt CeeCee tells you to do something, you do it. You don't question it. Now, it's time you think about your actions. I'll be back to check on you in a little bit."

"No! Don't leave me alone, Please don't leave me alone Daddy! I'm sorry, I won't do it again!" Alex cried. Jesse got up off of the bed despite her protests and closed the door behind him.

"Daddy! I need you!"

He could hear her crumple to floor, sobbing, and though he wanted nothing more than to open the door again and pick her up and comfort her, he held strong and walked away. Alex was old enough to face consequences and she needed to learn quickly that this type of behavior was absolutely not going to be accepted. Sticking to his guns, he made his way down to the pool, ready to follow through with the discipline.

The girls were lounging, talking more about Amy's and Ashley's pregnancies when Beca saw Jesse.

"Hey, she okay?" Beca asked as he joined the girls.

"Well, no." He began. "Listen, Jess, will you let Chelsea and Kaitlyn know that Alex won't be at dance class this week? It's part of her punishment."

Jessica agreed that she would relay the message as Beca's eyes widened.

"Jesse, can I talk to you?" She asked. "Privately?"

Jesse and Beca had always agreed that when Alex needed to be punished, they would both agree on a punishment together. Instead, today, Jesse handed out a punishment completely on his own and Beca didn't really agree with it.

Walking into the pool house, Beca shut the door behind them and turned around to face Jesse, folding her arms across her chest.

"What's wrong?" Jesse asked, knowing she was annoyed. Beca raised her eyebrows in response.

"Thanks for including me in the punishment making decision!"

Jesse scoffed. "Seriously? You're mad about this?"

"You're damn right I'm mad about this! You cannot take her dance classes away. Dance is her life right now, not going to class will crush her."

"Yeah, well I already told her she wasn't going. I'm not going back on my word. And yes, it did crush her, and she's upstairs crying, but she got off easy. You know damn good and well that if we had done what she did to one of our parents, we wouldn't have been able to sit for a week and our mouths would have been washed out with soap. She mouthed off to you Beca! And she yelled at Stacie! I have never heard our daughter be so disrespectful in her entire life. I want her to learn immediately that her actions have consequences and that type of behavior will not be tolerated."

Jesse was aggravated. The daughter he had raised would never talk to her mother the way Alex had. It made him feel as if he was failing as a father.

"Well we are not our parents! We punish together, you and I agreed upon that long ago. Now she's going to be in an even worse mood, and guess who's going to get the brunt of it? Me! I always get the best of her and the worst of her. You're her Daddy, you can do no wrong." Beca informed him. Jesse shook his head as he leaned up against the bar and looked down at the floor.

"What? Go ahead, say it." Beca insisted, knowing there was more on his mind. Jesse looked up at her.

"You're too damn soft with her. You've been hesitant to so much as raise your voice at her since the day she was born. I don't want our daughter growing up to be a spoiled brat. And if we don't nip this in the bud now, that's exactly what's going to happen. Just because we almost lost her doesn't mean she gets a free pass through life." He admitted.

The words stung. Beca wasn't about to let it show, but hearing his true opinion had a total impact on her. Suddenly she found herself questioning all of her parenting skills and her ability as a mother. She nodded her head, trying her absolute hardest to contain the red, hot anger as it spread through her body and the burning tears brimmed to the surface, threatening to spill over. She refused to let herself cry though. Beca didn't want Jesse to know how much his words had hurt her.

"Look, were being terrible hosts, now is not the time or place for this conversation. So let's just table it for later tonight okay?"

Jesse nodded and tried to put his hand on the small of Beca's back as they walked out, but she quickly pushed it away.

"Do me a favor, don't fucking touch me." She whispered as she walked away from him, not bothering to even look at him.

Jesse sighed, knowing he had hurt her, and feeling immensely guilty about it. Deciding to give her some space, he walked slowly into the house and upstairs to Alex's bedroom. Upon opening her door, he found her crumpled up in a ball on the floor. In her damp swimsuit, she was fast asleep, her cheeks stained with tears.

Jesse felt like an ass for saying what he had said to Beca. Looking at his sleeping daughter, who was having a rough day, he understood it. He hadn't been there when Beca miscarried, he hadn't carried Alex for nine months and given birth to her. Losing Alex was always on Beca's mind. She had come so close to it, that the feeling never really left her. He knew why she struggled with discipline. It didn't make it right, but he understood it. And while he knew it was a subject they needed to talk about, he was wrong for bringing it up now.

Looking down at Alex, fast asleep, he knew there had to be a reason behind her mood, and he felt bad for making a lousy situation even worse. Bringing his body to the floor, Jesse grabbed for a blanket to cover Alex up, and laid down next to her, running his fingers through her hair. He prayed she woke up in a far better mood than she had fallen asleep in.

* * *

Beca continually told herself that this was the last party she and Jesse would ever throw. Though after the minor hiccup of the afternoon, things had calmed down greatly, and Beca found herself in a much calmer mood and ready to talk with Alex again. Making her way up the stairs, she had hoped the two hour break had resulted in a good nap and an improved mood.

Beca opened Alex's door and found her sitting at her desk coloring, still in her _Sofia the First_ bathing suit. Her hair was a frizzy mess from being in the pool and having napped on the floor. Alex turned and looked up at the sound to find Beca standing in the doorway. Her eyes met her mother's for a brief second before she hung her head back down sadly, not wanting to look at her.

Beca walked over to the desk, and sat down on the floor. She looked up at Alex and used her fingers to lift her chin slightly, causing Alex to look at her with her bright blue eyes.

"Hi." Beca started. Alex looked at Beca before handing her a piece of construction paper.

"I made this for you." She mumbled.

Beca looked down at the white paper to see the words "I luv u Mommy. I am sorie I wuz meen." Surrounding the words, Alex had drawn flowers and hearts. Looking over to the table, Beca noticed a paper for Stacie.

Beca pulled Alex down from the chair and into her lap, wrapping her arms around her and kissing the top of her head.

"It's beautiful, thank you. This was a very nice idea, and I'm proud of you for thinking of it."

"I'm sorry I was mean to you." Alex whispered.

"And I'm sorry you had a bad day today and that things didn't go the way you wanted them to." Beca replied. Alex turned her body and rested her head on Beca's chest while Beca rubbed her back.

"Do you still love me? I was very mean today." Alex questioned.

Beca looked down at her young daughter. "I will always love you Alex. You're right, you haven't been very nice today, but that doesn't change my love for you at all. I may get frustrated when you do things I don't like, but I will always love you."

"I love you too Mommy."

"Do you want to talk to me about why you were upset today?" Beca asked, hoping Alex would open up to her.

"I don't want to go to school. I want to stay with you and Daddy. Mommy, I want to be your baby forever. I just want to be with you and do things with you. You were mad at me today. Then Daddy yelled at me too. And when I cried, and told him to stay, he leaved me anyway. Even Aunt CeeCee yelled at me. Nobody loved me very much today, I was just in the way." Alex explained as she tilted her head back to look up at her mother.

Beca instantly felt guilty. She loved her job as a music producer, and loved how it provided for her family, but it was a demanding job. Beca left the house most mornings before Alex was even awake, and usually didn't come home until seven or eight. There was just barely enough time to give her a bath and tuck her into bed. And as she thought back over the day, Beca realized all the the opportunities that she missed. She could have spent time with Alex this morning, but instead, she was frustrated with her clinginess and irritable mood. She could have played with her in the pool, but instead she chose to spend time catching up with her friends. And she could have taken the time to hold Alex on her lap, despite the fact that she was soaking wet, but instead she got preoccupied with holding Connor and paying attention to him. Suddenly, Beca wondered about all the missed opportunities over the years.

"You will always be my baby. I need you to know that. No matter how old you get, or where you go, you will always be my baby, and I will always love you more than anything else in this world. I'm very sorry that I got frustrated with you today, I should have seen that you wanted my time and attention." Beca explained, needing Alex to know that she would always love her.

"Mommy, does this mean I can still go to dance class?" Alex asked, causing Beca to sigh.

"No, it doesn't. You still made hurtful choices today, and you need to be punished for that. I'm sorry, but what Daddy said sticks, no dance class this week." Beca may not have fully agreed with Jesse's decision, but what was done was done. She was going to uphold his decision.

"But it does mean that you can come back downstairs and have some dinner and smores for dessert."

Alex wasn't happy about the decision, but seeing as she had no other choice, she accepted it. Walking over to her closet, she put on a pair of jean shorts, and her Boston University sweatshirt that Jesse's sister Amanda had given her just the week before. Feeling much warmer, she raised her arms and Beca picked her up as Alex rested her head on her shoulder and placed her thumb in her mouth.

* * *

Luke was downstairs doing dishes when Chloe's phone rang. Glancing over at it, he saw Beca's number. He grabbed a dish towel and dried his hands off before picking it up.

"Hey Beca." He answered.

"Oh...hey Luke." Beca replied, slightly confused. Luke laughed at the exchange.

"You called Chloe, I just have her phone down here. She was upstairs sleeping and I didn't want it to disturb her. But she should be up now, I'll go check."

He walked upstairs and slowly pushed the door open. Chloe was awake, and propped up on three pillows as she watched _The Golden Girls_. She turned her head at the sound of Luke.

"Hey...Beca's on the phone, are you up for talking?" He gently asked, not wanting to push her. Chloe smiled and nodded her head.

Luke put the phone on speaker and placed it next to Chloe.

"We miss you!" The girls exclaimed as they all joined in on the conversation. Tears welled up in Chloe's eyes.

"I miss you too." She croaked, her voice still scratchy from sleep. "I'd much rather be out at the pool with you guys than laying in bed all day."

"Hey Red! Be sure to save those drugs if you have any spares left over, I may need them when this human decides to make it's way out of my-"

"AMY!" Jessica yelled, cutting her off.

Chloe strained as she tried to hear Lily mumbling.

"Is that Lily?" She asked.

"Umm...something about acupuncture and sticking needles in your scalp. I wouldn't pay much attention to that." Beca explained.

"We love you Chloe, we can't wait to see you again!" Stacie yelled.

Chloe smiled and said her goodbyes before ending the call and looking over to Luke who was sitting next to her in bed.

He leaned over, capturing her lips in a soft, slow kiss as tears fell down her cheeks.

"I know the recovery sucks, but you're doing good with it. Before you know it, you'll be back on your feet again." Luke reminded her.

"Thank you for never giving up on me." She whispered.

"I said forever, and I meant it."

"Me too."

* * *

Beca was already in bed when Jesse headed up to their bedroom. Immediately he could tell she was still frustrated with him. She refused to even glance at him when he walked in, and it killed him. He hated fighting with her. It was a very rare occurrence, but when it happened, it made him feel absolutely awful. He never wanted to see Beca upset.

After getting undressed and brushing his teeth, he crawled into bed and scooted over to her, wrapping his arms around her.

"If you're looking for sex, you can just forget about it. It's you and your hand tonight." She hissed, not looking at him. Her body was rigid.

Jesse sighed. "I deserve that. I'm sorry for bringing a topic like that up out of nowhere, especially when we had company over."

"Sure." Beca shortly answered. Her arms were folded across her chest and Jesse could tell she was closing in on herself.

"Don't shut me out, please don't shut me out." He whispered.

"You don't know what it's like for me!" She suddenly yelled. Beca hated when she got upset like this and found it hard to control her voice and her emotions.

"You're right, I don't know, because you refuse to ever talk about it with me. So let's talk about it." Jesse countered.

Beca turned her body to face Jesse's.

"I get it, I'm too soft with her, I know that I am. But I also know that I work roughly fifty five to sixty hours a week and barely see her during the week. So you'll have to forgive me for not wanting to spend what little time I do have with her yelling at her and punishing her. The whole reason behind her mood today was that she was feeling unloved. Especially when she begged you to stay with her and you walked away."

Jesse sighed. "She had no right to yell-"

Beca cut him off. "No, she didn't. But it got my attention, didn't it? Even if it was negative attention, it was still attention none the less. That's all she was looking for today, was somebody to hold her and tell her they loved her. I-"

"If she was looking for att-"

"Hey, I listened to you, now it's your turn to listen to me." Beca pointed out. Jesse nodded his head, relenting.

"Yes, you're right, she didn't go about things the right way today. But Jesse, she's four, she isn't always going to have the words to express her feelings. She's apprehensive about starting PreSchool, and she felt pretty unloved today. Yes, I do need to work on my discipline with her, but you could also stand to not let your emotions get the best of you and not discipline when you're angry. It's too late now to change the punishment, if you go back on your word one time, it sets a precedent. But for next time..."

Jesse knew everything that Beca had said was right. Neither of them was the perfect parent, and they could both stand to learn from the other.

"You're right. I do need to learn to not discipline when I'm angry. It's something I will do my best to work on."

Beca smiled. "And I will work on correcting inappropriate behavior with her."

Jesse leaned in and kissed her softly. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?" He whispered.

Beca smiled through the kiss. "I suppose so."

After a few minutes of kissing, Jesse suddenly pulled back from Beca.

"Really random, but can I ask you something?" Jesse questioned, not exactly sure if he even wanted to know the answer.

"What's up?"

"Umm..." Beca could tell he was uncomfortable, and unsure of how to ask what question it was that he needed to ask.

"Jess...whatever it is, just ask me." Beca insisted. Jesse took a deep breath.

"Do you talk about our sex life with the girls?"

Beca was caught slightly off guard by the question, and found herself unsure of how to respond.

"Umm...sometimes? I mean, I don't go around telling them how big you are or what your turn on's are, but we've talked before about how many times a week we have sex, what sex is like in pregnancy, and after the baby is born. But, you know me, I'm a pretty private person. Especially when it comes to our sex life. What you and I do in private is between you and me. Now, Stacie and Amy? They'll tell the whole world about their sex life."

Jesse laughed, knowing exactly how those two could be. He loved them both dearly, but neither of them had any kind of filter.

"Do you talk about our sex life with the guys?" Beca asked, her interest now piqued.

"Mike was asking about pregnancy sex. Bumper pretty much dominated the entire conversation. But after a few minutes we couldn't take it anymore and Scott forced him to switch topics. I would have contributed to the conversation, but as I thought about what to say, I just couldn't." Jesse sighed as he looked at Beca. "Telling my friends, hell, telling _anybody_ what you're like in bed just feels so disrespectful to you."

If Jesse was completely honest with himself, Beca was incredible in bed, and he could barely keep his hands off of her. He loved how present she was during sex. She was vocal, she was focused, and she was just as concerned about getting him off as she was about getting herself off. She knew what she liked, and wasn't afraid to tell him, she could laugh at herself, and she was more than willing to experiment and try new positions. He loved being with her, and couldn't imagine ever being with someone else.

Beca curled up against Jesse as he wrapped his arms around her. She felt safe, warm, and loved.

"I never want to disrespect you, I love you too much. I'm sorry I was such an ass today." He apologized as he lightly scratched up and down her arm. He could see her eyes getting heavy, and knew she had to be exhausted.

"I forgive you, really, and I love you, but right now, I love sleep more." She whispered.

Jesse chuckled as he kissed the top of her head. "Sleep, love. We can talk in the morning."


	14. Restart

**Happy Thursday friends! I hope you enjoy this next chapter, I had a lot of fun writing it. I just realized last night as I was finalizing it, that this is a story that could go on forever. While not really centered around a certain plot, I enjoy getting to explore the lives of Beca and Jesse and their friends. I hope you do too! Please R &R! To my faithful reviewers, your happiness is my happiness, and your words mean so very much to me :)**

 **Bekah-What would I do without you?!**

* * *

Beca Swanson was not a runner. In fact, she hated running. She hated pretty much anything, except sex, that required her to exert enough energy to break a sweat. That was until two years ago when Chloe had somehow convinced Beca to run a local 5k to help raise money for breast cancer research. Beca knew it was for a good cause, and so she sucked it up and started training. In the end, the high she felt when she crossed the finish line was unlike anything she had ever experienced. After the 5k came the color run, then the glow run, and after the fall festival 10k last October in which Chloe, Beca, Ashley, Lily and Jessica ran six miles through the sprawling streets of New Haven, amidst the beautiful fall foliage, Beca had to admit it. She was a runner.

Four times a week, Beca got up at 5am, and ran five miles. Even though it happened to be Labor Day, and she had the day off, Beca still set her alarm and got up to run.

Jesse heard the sound of the alarm go off, and felt Beca begin to stir as her hand reached for her phone to shut off the music. She had allowed herself to sleep in an extra hour, since she really didn't have anywhere to be. However, it was still dark out, and the only real sound to be heard was the chirping of the crickets outside.

Beca attempted to get out of bed, but Jesse's grip tightened on her, his arms pulling her in closer to him.

"You have the day off. Come back to bed." He mumbled, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"I need to run." She whispered. "It's gorgeous outside, and the temperature is perfect." Beca loved this time of year, when the mornings started off with temps in the 50's and she was able to witness the sunrise through the colorful trees and smell the scents of fall. She also had a half marathon coming up at the end of the month, and the clock was ticking. It was important that she kept up with her training.

"Mmm...five more minutes." Jesse insisted. Beca smiled at his half assed attempt to keep her in bed with him. She wasn't fooled by his request for _'five more minutes'._ 'Five more minutes' in Jesse Swanson's dictionary meant sex and having sex meant that she couldn't get her run in before Alex woke up.

"It's not like I'm making you go with me, go back to sleep, I'll be back before you know it."

She climbed out of bed as Jesse grunted. Using the bathroom, she peed, brushed her teeth, and threw her hair up into a ponytail. She then threw on a pair of nike running shorts, a sports bra, a dry fit tee, her socks and sneakers. Grabbing her headphones and ipod, she leaned over and kissed Jesse lightly on the lips.

"Love you."

"Love you too Hilary Swank. Knock 'em dead." He said, smacking her ass.

As she always did, Beca cracked Alex's door open slightly, and found her fast asleep, curled up amidst her blankets and stuffed animals. Smiling, she shut the door gently and released a breath, feeling thankful for a beautiful, sweet, healthy child.

Running was Beca's thing. It was the one uninterrupted hour of the day that she had to herself. For one hour, she wasn't someone's wife, someone's mother, or someone's boss. It was the one chance she had to just be Beca and not have to cater to someone's needs.

Not that she didn't enjoy it, far from it. Beca had worked her ass off to get where she was, and at the end of the day, after working a job she absolutely loved, she got to come home to Jesse and Alex.

Beca couldn't help but smile as she thought about Jesse, who was her complete and total opposite. Never in a million dreams would she have imagined marrying someone like him. Jesse was so chipper, cheerful, and optimistic, but at the end of each day, when she laid in bed, wrapped up in his arms, Beca was always grateful that she let Jesse in.

Her breathing was labored as she stretched into her second mile, and her heart beat against her chest in rhythm with her footsteps. With every footstep against the pavement, Beca was that much closer to her goal. With every run, the pain became a little more bearable, and the results a little more obvious.

It was nearing seven when Beca returned home, and though she would have loved nothing more than to still be in bed, she felt incredibly accomplished, and proud of herself for not succumbing to the comfort of her warm bed and Jesse's warm body.

As she suspected, Jesse was still asleep when she walked back into the bedroom, her body covered in sweat. She pulled her sneakers off and got undressed, throwing her clothes in the hamper, before heading into the shower, ready for the steaming hot water to relax her body.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Beca was making a cup of coffee when she felt Jesse wrap his arms around her waist. He rested his head against her shoulder, breathing her in deeply.

"Mmm..." He mused, "you smell incredible."

Beca smiled. "Well I'm glad you're getting close enough to smell me now and not right after my run."

Jesse chuckled before kissing her shoulder and looking over to the stove where homemade waffles were being made.

"Feeling guilty?"

Beca rolled her eyes. "So sue me. She was hellbent on them yesterday, I felt like it was the least I could do."

"That's because you're an amazing mother." He said as he grabbed a plate and began to make himself breakfast.

"So listen," Beca began as she leaned up against the counter. "I really hope you enjoyed having sex yesterday morning, 'cause that was the last of it for quite a while." She casually mentioned before placing the spoon she used to mix her coffee in her mouth and licking it dry.

Jesse was caught so off guard he whipped his body around and slammed his knee against the island. Grasping it in pain, he muttered obscenities under his breath, as Beca tried her hardest not to laugh.

"I thought you were done being pissed at me?" He hissed in confusion, still holding his knee.

"I am." She explained.

Jesse stared at her. "Then what's the problem?"

"I'm not having sex with you while your parents are here." She answered, before taking a sip of her coffee.

Jesse's parents were driving down from Boston to spend the week with them and help with the transition of Alex starting Preschool three days a week. They were set to arrive that evening.

Jesse's eyes went wide as he stared at Beca. She had to be joking. While he could mostly appreciate her humor, it was way too damn early in the morning for it.

"That's not funny, my parents aren't leaving until Sunday afternoon. It's _Monday_." Jesse reminded her, on the off chance that she might have forgotten.

"I'm not joking. I am not having sex with you until they're gone. I don't need them hearing us." Beca explained.

Jesse cocked his head at her in confusion. "We're married! I hate to break it to you sunshine but they know that we have sex. And they're down the hall, you'd have to be screaming pretty loud for them to hear us. You can be quiet, I know you can." He assured her. But Beca shook her head, holding her ground.

"Alex has heard us before. She may not know exactly what were doing, but she's heard us "yelling" she just admitted that to us yesterday. You and I don't get into all out yelling fights Jesse, it's the next logical explanation. About the only thing that child hasn't witnessed is the sight of us in the middle of sex. Which actually amazes me considering the amount of times we've forgotten to lock the door." She explained. Putting her coffee down, she walked over to where he was standing and wrapped her arms around his his waist.

"I just don't feel comfortable. I'll never be able to get out of my head long enough to finish." She added, looking up at him.

"Okay." Jesse said, nodding his head. He bent down and kissed her softly. Beca had essentially ended the discussion when she told him she was uncomfortable with the idea. They had an unspoken rule between the two of them that they would never pressure the other into doing anything that made them uncomfortable.

Suddenly remembering, Jesse groaned. "Ugh, you're due to get your period next Monday though! It's going to be like...ten days before I get to have you again. This feels like when you eat the last french fry, except that you didn't know it was the last french fry, and you didn't prepare yourself. If I had known that was going to be it for over a week, I totally would have gone for two more rounds yesterday morning."

Beca's head immediately looked up to his. "We didn't even have time for the first two rounds! Wait! How do you know when my period is due?!"

Jesse paused. Shit, he shouldn't have mentioned that. If he wanted to keep his junk, he really should not mention that three months after they started dating, he downloaded an app onto his phone that kept track of Beca's periods. It wasn't to keep track of when sex was off limits, but rather to know when he needed to run to the store for ice cream and brownie mix.

"Umm...uhhh..." He tried to think of anything he could to stall. "You're so beautiful, have I told you that today?"

"And you sound like Amy right now!" Beca smirked as she shook her head. "You have an app on your phone to track my period, don't you?!"

"Purely for knowing when to stock up on the junk food, I promise!" He quickly defended, putting his hands up and leaning against the island.

"Uh-huh...You are so lucky I went for a run this morning. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands. They just don't."

Jesse groaned. "You're so sexy when you quote movies, so sexy."

"You're lucky I love you, nerd." She whispered before leaning up to give him a quick kiss.

"Hey, you know what we should do?" Jesse asked.

"What?" Beca countered as she turned to walk back to her coffee. Jesse picked her tiny body up in one quick move and hoisted her up over his shoulder causing Beca to release a shrill scream.

"Go swimming." He said as he playfully smacked her butt, a huge grin across his face.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! NO!" Beca protested. Jesse couldn't help but laugh as she continued to scream and beg for him to put her down.

"Jesse! If you don't put me down right now, you'll regret it, I swear!" She yelled.

"Oh? Will I? I'm already not having sex for over a week, what else have I got to lose?"

Beca, still hanging upside down, her head facing Jesse's ass, smiled.

"I'll rearrange your DVD collection."

Jesse's smile immediately faded at the sound of her words.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh I would, I would totally dare. Just imagine going to grab _The Breakfast Club_ only to find _Titanic._ And, thinking I would logically place _The Breakfast Club_ DVD in _Titanic's_ case, you'd again be surprised when you opened it up to find _The Blind Side_." Beca threatened, knowing she had him right where she wanted him.

"What are you two doing?"

Beca's eyes darted in the direction of Alex's voice. In the archway of the kitchen, Alex stood in her pajamas and slippers watching Jesse and Beca's interaction.

"Hey peanut!" Jesse said as he placed Beca back down into an upright position. Beca, feeling dizzy as all the blood rushed out of her head, grabbed onto the counter for support.

"Good morning!" Beca said sweetly as she regained equilibrium. Alex's eyes darted back and forth between her parents.

"You guys are so weird." She finally spoke, her voice still heavy from sleep. Glancing over at the stove, she smiled, and her eyes went wide as she quickly became distracted.

"Mmm...waffles!"

* * *

"MIMI! POP!" Alex yelled ecstatically as she ran into her grandparent's arms. Bending down, they both showered their only grandchild with hugs, kisses, and attention.

Bill picked Alex up as they left their luggage in the foyer and made their way into the living room where Beca and Jesse were putting away Candy Land. Alex had been playing with them, but the second she heard the car pull up, she was racing off ready to pounce like a tiger the very second the door opened. Jesse wasn't complaining however, after the fourth time Alex accused him of cheating, he was ready to quit all together. But he wasn't a quitter and he didn't want Alex to be either, even if she did accuse him of cheating.

"Where's my favorite daughter in law?" Julie called out as she came around the corner. Beca smiled and got up to hug her tightly.

"Hey mom." She greeted, feeling so much happiness as the words left her mouth. The day Beca had agreed to marry their son, Bill and Julie insisted upon Beca calling them Mom and Dad, and Beca didn't fight it. In fact, she was thrilled to have another woman she could call 'mom' and she adored the relationship she and Julie shared.

"Hi beautiful!" Bill greeted warmly as he hugged Beca next and kissed her on the cheek. Beca smiled as she hugged him back tightly. "Hi Dad, it's good to see you."

Jesse stood back and watched as his parents showered his wife and daughter with love.

"It's cool, just ignore your only son, I'm totally fine with it." He spoke, his voice laced with sarcasm. Julie smirked as she walked over and enveloped Jesse in a hug.

"Hi sweetheart, how are you?" Julie asked as she hugged her son so tightly she briefly cut off his air supply.

"I'm good mom, really good." Jesse answered honestly. At just twenty four years old, he found himself having everything he could have ever dreamed of.

Julie smiled, knowing how happy her son was. She was beaming with pride as she pulled back from him.

"I know. Your father and I are so proud of you." She whispered.

"Listen, Alex, Mimi and I are _so_ excited to see your dance class this week!" Bill exclaimed as he bent down to her level. Alex's face immediately drooped as she looked toward the ground sadly.

"Oh...right." Alex sighed. Jesse and Beca exchanged a look.

"Did I say something wrong?" Bill asked, unsure of what just happened.

"I'm not allowed to go to dance class this week. Mommy and Daddy grounded me." Alex meekly explained.

Julie looked up at Jesse and Beca. "Grounded? Why?"

Beca looked down toward Alex. "Alex, why don't you tell Mimi and Pop why you can't go to dance class."

"Umm...uhhh...well..." Alex stammered as she stared up at the ceiling.

"Alex..." Jesse pushed, causing her to sigh.

"I was not very nice yesterday. I cried a lot." She said, not going any further.

"And..." Jesse continued.

"And I yelled at Mommy and told her she was a meanie head 'cause she wouldn't hold me. And then, when Aunt CeeCee told me to apologize, I yelled at her and told her to leave me alone. Oh, and I may have called Mommy 'Beca' and stuck my tongue out at her. The end."

Julie and Bill's eyes were wide as they took in the information. It was not like Alex to behave poorly and to act out. Staring down at her, they were at a loss for words. Alex looked back up at them with her big blue eyes.

"I'm feeling very 'prehensive."

* * *

Beca placed the rolls on the table, completing the meal, which consisted of a Caeser salad, Italian glazed chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls, and a chocolate cake with buttercream frosting that Sheila had picked up from the local bakery in town.

It had been quite sometime since both of their families had gotten together, and Beca was quite happy to have everyone under the same roof after so long. Even though her Dad and Sheila were just thirty minutes away, hectic work and life schedules kept them from seeing each other as often as they would have liked. When Jesse's parents inquired about visiting for the week, Beca knew it was the perfect excuse to get everyone together for a meal. She was cutting up Alex's meat when she noticed her father raise his glass.

"To family." He simply said.

"To family." Everyone toasted as they raised their glasses.

They chatted happily about work, Beca's upcoming half marathon, and their family trip to Disney World the following month for Stacie's wedding.

"So how's everyone doing?" Bob asked, referring to Beca and Jesse's friends.

Beca nodded her head as she chewed her food. After swallowing, she wiped her mouth with her napkin and finally had the chance to speak.

"Really good. Like we mentioned, Stacie and Scott are getting married next month, Amy is...well, Amy, but she's about halfway through her pregnancy at this point, so that's getting interesting. We just found out yesterday that Ashley and Mike are pregnant, and due in March. Who else...Oh, Cynthia Rose and Callie got married in July. Benji and Jessica are getting married in December pending any horrific snow storms." Beca couldn't for the life of her understand why Jessica or Benji would want to get married in December in Connecticut, but to each their own. She and Jesse would be there regardless.

"Aubrey and Matt just had their twins Connor and Caroline in July, and Lily and Donald are getting married in June." Jesse added.

Bob chuckled. "Aren't you forgetting someone important?" He asked.

"Sorry?" Beca questioned.

"What about Chloe? What's she up to these days? You didn't mention her at all." He pointed out.

"Oh, right, Chloe...um..." As Beca thought about how she wanted to explain things to everyone, Alex piped in.

"Aunt Chloe's sad." Alex stated as casually as ever, before taking a bite of mashed potatoes.

"She's sad? Why is she sad?" Julie asked.

"Oh...well, her belly is broken, so she can't have any babies. She got really sad about that. Also, she missed my dance recital, and so I cried. Then, mommy got really angry at her. She got so angry, she was slamming doors, and yelling, and saying bad words that I'm not allowed to say. Oh, and then, Aunt Chloe got into a car accident."

Everyone was completely shocked and speechless. It was dead silent in the room as Alex continued right on eating, like nothing had just happened. Beca put her head in her hands as the feeling of total embarrassment washed over her.

"Well, I think now is the perfect time for dessert, does anybody want dessert? I'll go get the coffee started, just...excuse me."

* * *

When everyone was finished with dessert, Sheila brought the dessert plates to the kitchen to be loaded into the dishwasher. Beca took them and began to rinse them in the sink before placing them into the dishwasher. In the living room, Jesse, Bob, and Bill were chatting over beers while Alex sat on the carpet with her coloring book.

"Well, we can at least say our family get togethers are nothing short of eventful." Sheila laughed as she busied herself in the kitchen and helped Beca with the clean up.

"This, is a very true statement." Beca said, smiling.

Beca's relationship with Sheila had evolved quite a bit since Alex's birth. Sheila had been in Beca's life since she was thirteen. Her father had married Sheila two years later, much to Beca's disappointment. The thing of it was, that Beca never really had a reason to hate Sheila. She hadn't busted into their lives and broken up her parents marriage, Beca's mom had left years earlier. Sheila wasn't a bitch, she treated Beca with respect and had tried her hardest to be apart of her life, but just like she had done with everyone else, Beca just shut her out without reason. For so many years, Beca only cared about her music, and absolutely nothing else.

When Alex was born, Sheila timidly entered into Beca's hospital room the day after, hoping to talk. It was the first time the two women had had more than a five minute conversation. Beca handed her newborn daughter over to her stepmother, and immediately began to apologize for her past behavior. Beca had been given the opportunity to have a mother figure in her life, but she had selfishly thrown it away.

Beca was ready to get to know and appreciate Sheila and everything she had to offer, but more importantly, she was ready to allow Sheila a place in her life. She wanted Alexandra to know all of her grandparents, and expressed as such after her repeated apologies. After Beca allowed herself to open up, she found out that she actually enjoyed Sheila's company. And both of Beca's parents adored their new roles as grandparents, doting on their granddaughter every chance they got. As Alex grew up, she grew to love them just as much as they loved her. Beca and Jesse had agreed early on that they wouldn't tell Alex that Sheila wasn't Beca's mother until she was much older. Beca was terrified to explain to Alex that her mother had left her voluntarily, for fear that Alex would think Beca would one day just up and leave her too. So, until Alex was old enough to understand that Beca would never dream of doing something like that to her, they both agreed, she didn't need to know.

"How's Chloe holding up? Was it a bad car accident?" Sheila asked.

"To be honest? She's lucky to be alive. She was hit by a drunk driver at sixty five miles per hour. Her car flipped over several times, and she ended up having to have surgery to remove her spleen."

Sheila's mouth opened wide. "Oh my God!"

She had been concerned when she heard about the car accident, but she had no idea it had been so horrific. "I'm so sorry, is she still in the hospital? At home?"

"She was released Friday morning, and she's resting at home now. It's going to be a pretty lengthy recovery, about four to five weeks, but she's going to be okay, she'll make a full recovery." Beca explained as she placed a dish detergent pod into the dishwasher and locked it up, starting a cycle.

"Can you get us her address before we leave? We'd love to send flowers and some meals. The last thing Luke needs to worry about right now is cooking."

"Of course. I know they would appreciate that. Thank you." Beca stated as she hugged her.

Jesse walked in and headed to the fridge to grab another beer as Beca and Sheila were talking.

"Oh hey, I almost forgot. Um, I really hate to do this to you guys, but I have to bail on dinner tomorrow night. You can order a pizza, or go out or something, but I'm gonna be working really late tomorrow night." Beca explained to Jesse.

Jesse grabbed the bottle opener and popped the cap off. "I thought you said you were going to try and make it home before six?"

" I know, I know." Beca said as she ran her fingers through her hair. "I feel horrible, but Mark called earlier. Rachel Platten is ready to put together her next album and she specifically requested me as her producer. I'm completely open right now, I couldn't say no."

Jesse nodded, understanding last minute needs. "Rachel Platten? That's awesome! What time do you think you'll be home? We could always wait for you." He suggested. Beca shook her head.

"Babe if I make it home before midnight, it'll be nothing short of a miracle. We're gonna try and knock this out in about a week. Mark offered to pay for a hotel for me, but with Alex starting Preschool on Wednesday, I declined. He did give me Wednesday off, but, it's gonna be a long week."

She felt guilty, especially with Jesse's parents in town, but one of the things Beca learned very quickly was that when an opportunity like this knocks, you don't turn it down.

"It's okay. We'll make it work, we always do." He assured her, kissing her on the cheek.

Bob walked into the kitchen and smiled, as he placed his hands on his daughter's shoulders.

"Do you guys mind if I steal her for just a second?" He questioned. Beca began to grow nervous. Even at twenty four years old, and as a wife and mother, she still had the feeling she was about to get a speech from her father.

"By all means!" Jesse answered. Beca glared at him before grabbing her glass of wine.

"I have a feeling I'm going to need this."

* * *

 _"We'll make it work, we always do."_

The word's Jesse had spoken just minutes earlier resonated through Bob's head. He knew it wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation, but it was a conversation that they needed to have. As he chatted with Alex about her trip to the zoo tomorrow, he explained that he knew she would have a lot of fun with Mommy and Daddy. Alex had looked up at him like he had two heads.

"Mommy's not coming to the zoo, silly." Alex answered. "Mommy is only home on Saturday's and Sunday's."

Bob didn't understand.

"Where is she the rest of the days?" He asked.

"At work. She just comes home to sleep." She explained, not even looking up from her coloring book. To Alex, the fact that she didn't see much of her mother during the week was no big deal, it was part of her routine. But it didn't sit well with Bob, and when he overheard Beca and Jesse's conversation in the kitchen, he knew he had to talk to his daughter.

"So, how are you?" Bob asked as he and Beca stepped out onto the deck and sat down on the wicker furniture. Beca sighed.

"I'm good, but...why do I feel like I'm in trouble?" She asked, causing her father to laugh.

"Trouble? You're a grown, married woman, a mother, what makes you think you're in trouble?" He asked.

"Because I know you. You and I usually don't have cutesie little chats about what's going on in each other's lives. Something's up." Beca pressed. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she tried to figure out what he was thinking. He sighed.

"Okay, so I'm a little concerned." He admitted. Beca rolled her eyes and huffed. Yeah, she had seen this coming she thought to herself as she took a sip of her wine.

"Just hear me out, will you?"

Beca folded her arms across her chest. "Go 'head."

"Alex mentioned that she doesn't see you much during the week." Bob began. Before he could get any further, Beca, clearly already on the defense, cut him off.

"She sees me plenty!" She yelled.

Bob raised his eyebrows, not saying a word. He knew she was going to be on the defense, and that she was going to raise her voice. Beca was a passionate person in every aspect of her life. Arguing was no different. Beca didn't back down from a fight, and she always made sure she was heard. After so many arguments with her, Bob knew to remain calm and level headed, no matter how angry she became.

"Okay, so maybe not a ton or anything, but I am home every night to put her to bed and I spend every weekend with her." Beca continued, trying in vain to make the situation sound better than it really was. In reality, she knew she was grasping at straws. Jesse was the one with the cushy 8-5 job, and home every night for dinner. If Beca was lucky, there were two days a week where she made it home before six.

"Beca, your daughter is desperate for your attention." Bob simply stated. "The little stunt she pulled yesterday is evidence of that.

"And I am doing the best I fu-" She cut herself off this time, as she took a breath and calmed herself down. There was no need to fly off the handle, they were just having a conversation. Closing her eyes, she took one more deep breath.

"I'm doing the best I can, okay? I'm not trying to brag, or inflate my ego or anything, but I am in high demand. I'm at the peak of my career, Dad. Do you have any idea what I had to do to get to where I am? There were nights I slept in my office, there were times I didn't see Jesse and Alex for days at a time! But I had a goal, I had a dream, and I was going to do whatever it took to achieve it. Jesus, Dad, I am the youngest producer to ever be brought on at Columbia Records...ever! I literally made music industry history when I was hired. It's a demanding job! I can't just tell John Mayer we have to cut his album short because I need to go read bedtime stories!"

Beca was on a roll. She wasn't going to let her dad make her feel guilty for being a working mother. She could do both, it _was_ possible to have it all. Sure, there were sacrifices that had to made at times, but Beca _loved_ what she did. Her job was meaningful, it was life changing, it made people's dreams come true.

The two of them sat, trying to calm their emotions. Beca turned her head to the side, not able to look her father in the face. He could clearly see that he had upset her.

"Look, I didn't mean to upset you. All I'm saying is, you have a child, and you will never get these moments back. Alex is growing up fast Bec, before you know it, she'll be a teenager that resents you and thinks you made all the wrong choices when it comes to raising her. Have you considered...not working? Jesse is more than capable of supporting all three of you." Bob suggested, treading lightly.

Beca stared at him, unable to believe the words that had just escaped her father's lips.

"Are you kidding me?! That is complete and utter bullshit!" Beca hissed.

"Rebeca Grace!" Bob scolded. His words had little effect on her.

"Not work?! Seriously, not work? And do what Dad, stay home and be Susie Homemaker? Teach ABC's and 123's and bake pies and shit?! That is not who I am, that is not who I have ever been. I _choose_ to work. And it's not for the money, it's for passion. Music is my passion, and it has been since I was two. Having a child does not change that. Maybe you don't agree with it, but it's not up to you. I will not be made to feel guilty for being a working mother. This is who I am Dad, and I'm sorry if you're disappointed!"

"Why did you decide to have Alex?" He asked.

Beca was caught off guard. " _What?!_ " She spewed.

As calm as ever, Bob repeated himself. "Why did you chose to have Alex? You were nineteen years old and a sophomore in college. You could have aborted her, you could have given her up for adoption, but you didn't. You gave birth to her, and you're raising her. Why?"

Beca could not, for the life of her, understand why she was having this conversation with her father.

"Because I love her. Because for nine months of my life, I carried that little girl inside of me. I felt every kick, every move, every hiccup. I went through ten hours of labor to bring her into this world. She didn't deserve to be punished because Jesse and I screwed up. I love Alex, and everything I do, it's for her. My work provides her with everything she needs in this life!" Beca yelled, barely able to contain herself.

Bob shook his head. "Beca, she doesn't want your presents, she wants your presence. You didn't have a mother growing up you-"

"That bitch left me, okay? She made a very conscious, well thought out, decision to leave me. I would _never_ even dream of leaving Alex." Beca cut in. She was not her mother, she would never be her mother, and she needed her father to know that.

Resting his elbows against his legs, he leaned in closer to her.

"Do me a favor, picture your life ten years from now. What childhood memories is Alex going to have with Jesse? What childhood memories is she going to have with you?"

Beca was stunned into silence.

She stared at him straight on, her face in a grimace, before shaking her head and getting up off the wicker chair and heading inside without so much as another word.

Bob sighed as he sat in the chair with his hands cupping his face. At the sound of the sliding glass door, he turned, hoping to see Beca, but found Sheila instead.

"You told her she should quit her job and be a stay at home mother and wife?!" She questioned, unable to process the scene she had just witnessed that she knew she shouldn't have.

"How did you-"

"I was in the kitchen, I could hear her voice through the window. I was about to walk away from the conversation, knowing I shouldn't be eavesdropping, when I heard her begin to yell about not working. Bobby, that's an insult. To think that Beca would just drop everything to stay at home with Alex is ludicrous, and she shouldn't have to. Greta does a phenomenal job here, and Jesse is home by 5:30 every day. I can't believe you could be so closed minded." She said, as she shook her head and walked back inside again.

He hadn't had a chance to explain himself to either his wife or his daughter.

* * *

Jesse stepped out onto the front porch and found Julie sitting out on the porch swing drinking a glass of wine. It was a gorgeous night, and the cool breeze made for the perfect weather. She turned at the sound of his footsteps.

"Okay, I suppose I can see the appeal of Connecticut, maybe it's not so bad after all." She admitted, after years of unsuccessfully trying to convince Beca and Jesse to move to Boston.

Jesse sat down next to her and smiled as he looked out onto the street.

"I knew you'd come around eventually. Beca and I fell in love with Fairfield the moment we discovered it. It's small town charm within reach of city life. The schools here are incredible, there's no need for private school. We love our neighbors, and our community, and each season has something special to offer. It's a great place to raise a family." Jesse informed her. They had only lived in Fairfield for a year, but they absolutely adored the town.

"So, it sounds like Alex had quite the temper tantrum yesterday." Julie stated, bringing the earlier conversation back up again.

"Yeah." Jesse agreed, "It was quite the day."

"Did you spank her?" She asked abruptly. Jesse raised his eyebrows and sighed as he looked at her.

"No, I didn't spank her." He answered, despite feeling like it wasn't any of his mother's business how he and Beca chose to discipline.

"Well why not? It sounds like she deserved it." Julie countered.

Jesse blew out a breath before taking a sip of his drink. He really was not in the mood to be having this conversation.

"Because Beca and I decided a long time ago that spanking would be a last resort and only reserved for very serious offences. So far, Alex has yet to do anything so terrible it would warrant a spanking. Not to mention, it was really hard to want to spank her when she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and asked me in a tiny voice if I was going to spank her. I want my daughter to respect me, not be terrified of me." Jesse explained.

Growing up, he and Amanda had been spanked a handful of times. And, looking back, he probably deserved each spanking. But he and Beca were not their parents, and unless they were beating Alex, how they chose to discipline Alex was no one's business but their own.

"Look, I'm sure you think us taking away her tv and dance classes were no big deal, but in her world...it's been awful. Dance is her life at the moment, and since she started in May, she hasn't missed a single class. So having to sit out for a week is a big deal to her. Further more, Beca and I are both pretty lax when it comes to the TV. I'm sure some parents have rules and time limits, but we really don't. If Alex wants to watch a movie, were all for it. If she wants to watch TV while she's eating breakfast, it doesn't bother us. So going a week with no tv or movies hasn't been fun either. Alex has her moments, but for the most part, she's a very well behaved, mature, and respectful little girl. I'm confident Beca and I are doing something right."

Julie felt slightly guilty for questioning how Jesse and Beca disciplined Alex, and knew she was out of line. Her granddaughter was a very well behaved little girl, and she knew that Jesse and Beca were doing an incredible job of raising her. Despite all of the money surrounding them, they were doing their best to assure that while Alex had every opportunity she deserved, she wasn't spoiled.

"You're right, I was out of line to question it. You and Beca are doing a fabulous job of raising Alex. I know parenting isn't easy by any means, but it's obvious that Alex is very happy and well adjusted." Julie apologized.

"Well thank you, we're certainly trying."

"Speaking of trying, when do you think I'll get more grandchildren?" Julie questioned. "It has been four years after all."

"When Beca gets pregnant." Jesse replied with a smirk as he took a sip of his pumpkin ale. Julie shook her head.

"Obviously. And just when is she getting pregnant?"

"Usually it happens when my sperm fertilizes her egg, so..." Jesse added, feigning ignorance. He wasn't about to tell his mother that he was jumping Beca's bones every chance he got. Things were going to change in a big way for everyone when Beca did finally get pregnant. They were starting all over again. Alex was a completely independent child, she didn't wake up in the mornings until after eight, she was fully potty trained, slept through the night, was able to entertain herself, and had pretty much fully understood what 'privacy' meant. When they put it that way, it became understandable how they were able to have sex five-six times a week as parents of a young child.

But with a newborn, they were going to to soon find themselves in survival mode. There would be little to no sleep, feedings every two hours, constant diapers, hormones, and making sure Alex didn't feel neglected in any way. Jesse figured they might as well have all the sex they could get now, while they still could. It had been about eighteen months after Alex was born before their sex life returned to normal. Not that he was complaining, he was a big boy, and could go without, and he absolutely adored being a father, but it was a lot of work, and required much patience.

"Alright, smartass." Julie said with a smile before sipping her wine.

"Look, Bec and I, we're finally comfortable. College was insanity trying to get through classes and lead A capella groups on top of raising a baby. And while it wasn't a rough time for me finding a job, Beca started from the bottom and worked her way up. Everybody was constantly telling her she'd never make it in the music world, and that she needed to focus on her family. But she didn't listen, and now she's the youngest music producer to ever work at Columbia. We have a nice house, incredible lives, and a phenomenal daughter. Were just trying to enjoy this time in our lives before jumping back into the baby phase again."

"I can respect that. I guess your Dad and I are just really feeling the empty nest. You're off raising a family, Amanda's in her senior year at Boston, I swear I blinked and you both grew up. I'm so proud of the man you have become, there are just no words to express my happiness, I just miss this stage too." She admitted, her eyes welling with tears.

"Mom, you know you and Dad are always welcome here. We love having you guys, especially Alex. Though I think the prospect of a new gift every time you come doesn't hurt either. You can come visit any time, you can take Alex to Boston for visits too."

Julie placed her hand on Jesse's cheek and smiled.

"I love you kid." She whispered before leaning in to hug him.

"I love you too mom."

Jesse pulled back at the sound of the front door opening. He turned to see Beca stepping out.

"Sorry! I didn't realize you guys were talking." She apologized, knowing she had just walked into a sweet mother son moment.

"No need to apologize sweetie, you're fine." Julie assured her.

"What's up babe?" Jesse asked, looking up at her.

Beca pulled her hair behind her ear, something she only did when she was upset or frustrated. Jesse knew she needed to talk with him privately.

"I was just gonna see if you wanted to go for a walk, but if you guys are talking I can-"

"Not at all, it is a gorgeous night, you guys go and enjoy it, I insist." Julie assured them.

"Ah, alright then, well we'll be back. I've got my cell phone on me if anybody needs anything." Jesse said as he got up and took Beca's hand in his.

"We won't, enjoy!"

* * *

The second they were out of sight, Beca pulled Jesse's lips to hers. Slightly caught off guard by the exchange, it took a second for him to realize what was happening. Beca wrapped her arms around Jesse's neck, lightly scratching his scalp. He moaned softly as she opened her mouth and allowed his tongue to slip inside, tangling with hers. Jesse wasn't sure what had happened to prompt this sudden little make out session, but he certainly wasn't going to question it.

Suddenly, Beca broke their kiss and looked up at him.

"Wow, that was...Hi. Are you rethinking your no sex for the week rule? 'Cause this probably isn't the place for it. But if you can wait two minutes, we can totally christen the BMW." Jesse explained.

"No, nerd. I'm still sticking to my guns. I just really needed to get that out of my system." Beca explained as she took his hand and laced her fingers through his. "We can walk now."

"Oh, can we? Great. Well, if you want to get that out of your system again, just go for it, I will never say no." Jesse informed her, causing a smile to spread across her face.

A comfortable silence soon settled between them as they walked through the neighborhood hand in hand admiring the stars and the cool weather.

"Do you wanna talk about it? Or just walk?" Jesse asked, figuring she would not want to get into whatever was bothering her. She sighed as she gazed off to the lake in the distance.

"My dad and I had a discussion. He doesn't exactly agree with my life choices." Beca began.

"And what life choices would those be? The one's that provided you with a six figure yearly salary, a beautiful home, nice car, or incredible family?"

"The six figures. He thinks I work too much and should be spending more time focusing on Alex. He told me that I didn't even need to be working, that you make enough money to support the three of us."

"What?!" Jesse spewed. "What is this...1950? Of course I can financially support the three of us, but that is entirely beside the point. You're not in this profession for the money. Sure it's a huge perk, but you produce music because it's what you love. Beca, you made music history when you got got hired at Columbia Records. You're the youngest music producer like...ever. You have more accomplishments at twenty four years old than most people ever will in an entire lifetime. I would never want you to give that up. Yes, you work a lot, and you're rarely home during the week, but the work you do is incredible. You make people's dreams come true every day."

Jesse was slightly irritated that Bob couldn't see Beca's accomplishments and what an incredible woman she was. How many people could honestly say they grew up to have the job they always dreamed of? Beca was a musical genius, and in very high demand. She was never going to be a stay at home mother who cooked and cleaned and raised the children day in and day out. Jesse never wanted that for her. He never wanted her to waste her talent. Sure, if that was really what Beca wanted, he would have totally supported her. But he knew it wasn't, and he would never dream of holding Beca back from something she wanted. He wanted to support her in every way possible. He supported her career choice, no matter how busy it made her.

"I know, I used the same arguments. He just kept talking about family commitments and not missing out on the important things in life. I just feel like I can't give one hundred percent of myself to both home and work right now. It feels like work gets most of my time while you, Alex, and home get what's left. It just made me really reevaluate things."

Beca had to admit, her dad had a point. She was spreading herself very thin and at some point, it was all going to catch up with her. If she and Jesse really wanted to expand their family, then something had to give. She needed to make more of an effort to be home earlier. There was more to life than work, music, and money. Work could definitely wait, but Alex and Jesse shouldn't have to. Alex was literally growing by leaps and bounds in front of their eyes and if Beca were honest, she didn't want to miss a thing. She didn't want to be 'that' mom. The mom that was always a phone call away, but rarely if ever home. She didn't want Alex to think back on her childhood and say, "Dad was always there for me while mom was at work." She wanted Alex to know she was loved and wanted.

Arriving at the lake, Jesse took Beca's hand and pulled her down to the grass with him. Beca rested her body in between Jesse's legs and rested her back against his chest. Jesse kissed her on the forehead as he wrapped his arms around her tiny frame.

"I will support you no matter what you want to do. If you want to stay at home and care for our children, I'll support you. If you want to take the world by storm and produce mind blowing music, I'll support you. But no matter what choice you make, I want it to be yours and yours alone. This is your life Beca, I don't want you to have any regrets." Jesse explained, suddenly feeling fiercely protective. He had watched, over the past six years, as every single one of Beca's dreams had come true and she proved people wrong left and right. Beca was a powerful and highly respected woman and she had worked her ass off to get where she was. She had sacrificed quite a lot, and Jesse wasn't about to stand by and watch as she threw it all away just to please her father.

Beca leaned up to look at Jesse.

"And that is just one of the many reasons why I love you." She whispered.

Jesse smiled. "I love you too." He whispered as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

Laying together in the grass, the cool breeze cascading against their skin, Jesse realized...

He had never been more happy than he was at this very moment.


	15. Make you feel my love

**Hello my lovely readers!**

 **Sorry this took a little bit longer to get out, but I struggled a bit with how to perfect this chapter, and I refused to post it until I was fully satisfied. So thank you for your patience.**

 **Once again, your reviews and words of encouragement mean so very much. Nothing means more to a writer than knowing that people are reading and appreciating your work. It has been so wonderful getting to know you all. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

 **A big thank you to my beta CajunQueen714...Where would I be without your guidance and patience? If you guys haven't done so yet, please check out her latest story ' _Killing Me Softly'_ You will not regret it!**

* * *

From the moment Beca got up in the morning until the time she went to bed, she worked hard and luckily, she had been blessed with the ability to sleep even harder. So, on the rare occasion that she was awake in the middle of the night, it was usually because she was unable or unwilling to turn off the thoughts in her head long enough to drift off.

Beca laid in bed and watched as the clock turned from ten o'clock to ten thirty to eleven o'clock. She sighed, feeling completely frustrated about the events of the evening. She had to be up in six hours and she was still wide awake. Jesse on the other hand, was passed out next to her without a care in the world. Once he got it in his head that he wanted to sleep, he was out in less than ten minutes.

The longer she laid there the more she thought about the discussion she and her dad had after dinner. She replayed the entire discussion over and over like it was on some kind of loop. Beca knew he didn't mean it at all, but by bringing up her mother, Beca felt as if her dad was comparing her to the woman who had left her so many years before. But Beca wasn't her mother, she refused to be. There had been countless nights after she left that Beca laid awake and wondered what she could have possibly done to make her mother not love her. Was she too much work? Too needy? Too irritating? Beca never did get an answer. Only her father's continued reminders that it wasn't in any way her fault.

Yes, Beca worked a lot, but it wasn't the same. Beca made sure to at least be home every night to put Alex to bed. And as they laid in bed together reading stories and talking about their days, Beca made sure Alex knew she was loved, that she was wanted. Beca always made sure that as Alex closed her eyes each night, she felt safe, content, and most importantly, loved. She never wanted to ever give Alex a reason to question her mother's love for her.

But the more Beca reviewed the discussion in her head, the more she realized her father was right. About working too much that was. Beca was an extremely prideful person, she hated when she was wrong, and she hated even more when she had to admit that she was wrong. But at the end of the day, Jesse deserved more from her. Alex definitely deserved more from her. But they weren't the only one's who deserved more. The more she thought about it, the more she visualized herself like a pie. Each relationship was it's own individual slice and the more she sliced the pie, the smaller the slices became. Chloe was dealing with infertility issues, and falling head first into a horrible depression, Cynthia Rose had just gotten married, Stacie, Jessica, and Lily were getting married, Amy was already halfway through her pregnancy, Ashley's pregnancy had just begun, and Aubrey had just given birth. And Beca was only half present for all of the events. Lately, the only thing that seemed to get one hundred percent of her undivided attention, was, not surprisingly, work. Stacie had joked many times that if she didn't work with Beca, she'd never see her. And while it was meant to be a light, funny comment, there was plenty of truth to it.

Beca thought back over the past few years. It hadn't been an easy road by any stretch of the imagination.

Alex was eight months old when Beca's internship at Columbia began. Three days a week, Beca spent her days gathering coffee orders, delivering lunches, and trying desperately to be heard. By the time she got home at the end of the day, she more often than not fell asleep breastfeeding Alex. When she wasn't at the record label, she was in class, or leading the Bella's.

If it hadn't been for Greta, she wasn't sure how they would have gotten this far or accomplished the things they had. Beca was convinced for the longest time that Alex's first word was going to be 'Greta'. To her total shock and surprise, as Alex played on the floor one lazy Sunday afternoon, she started babbling like she always did when she suddenly uttered her first word...'Mama'. Beca's heart easily grew ten sizes that day.

Though it was hard to believe, there was a point when their sex life was almost non existent. Two times a week was considered good for her and Jesse. Many nights, as she collapsed into bed at the end of the day, Beca would look over at Jesse and grimace, wanting nothing more than to sleep. Lucky for her, Jesse was always understanding, and never pressured her into anything she didn't want to do. However, it didn't erase the guilt she felt over not being more available to him.

Beca twiddled her thumbs as she stared at the ceiling. So much of her life over the past three and a half years really had been devoted to her job. Thinking back on it, Columbia Records was where Alex had taken her first steps...

 _*Flashback Beca's POV*_

 _"Hey million dollar baby." Jesse greeted as he lightly kissed me on the lips._

 _On a gorgeous May afternoon, Jesse and Alex had met up with me in the city to take me to lunch._

 _"Hey prince charming." I replied, unable to hide the smile on my face. In his arms, Alex began to babble and clap her hands._

 _"Hi baby girl!" I said, my smile wide as I kissed her hands._

 _"I just need to grab my bag and I'll be all set to go." I announced. Jesse nodded his head as he placed Alex on the floor and gave her a few toys to play with. I had barely gotten five feet down the hall when I heard his voice._

 _"Beca!" Jesse yelled out. I immediately turned my body in the direction of his voice._

 _"What?!"_

 _But I didn't need an answer. The moment I turned around, I saw what he was seeing. Alex had pulled herself up and was standing there, staring at me. My eyes were huge as I stared back at her. Instantly, I got down to my knees as my arms stretched open._

 _"Alex! Walk to Mommy, walk to Mommy, baby." I encouraged her._

 _With a big smile on her face, she tentatively took her first step, followed by her second. She was taking her third step when she lost her footing and fell onto her bottom. Looking up at me, her bottom lip jutted out and began to quiver._

 _"It's okay baby, try again. Try again for Mommy, sweet girl."_

 _Using her hands to push herself back up again, she stabilized herself and looked back at me. Instantly her face broke out into a smile again and she laughed. With her arms stretched out in an attempt to balance herself, she took four more steps and walked straight into my arms._

 _With tears streaming down my face, I picked her up and smothered her face with kisses._

 _"You walked! You walked all by yourself! Mommy is so proud of you!" I ecstatically gushed. Jesse came over to join us as he kissed the top of my head and rubbed Alex's back. My baby had taken her first steps just two weeks before her first birthday, and I had been here to see them._

Beca glanced over at the clock, 2:14am. Sighing, she finally gave up and pulled the covers off of herself. She wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight, and it was pointless to try.

Standing in the middle of her bedroom, she knew exactly what would take her mind off of things. Beca smiled as she walked over into her walk in closet and closed the door. Turning the light on, she grabbed the step stool and brought it over to the corner of the room. Up on the shelf, lay six different scrapbooks.

As only Jesse Swanson would do, he had made it a point to document every single date he and Beca ever went on. Literally, every single date. He would insist they take a picture to document the night, and would then print said picture and place it in the scrapbook, with the date and the event they attended. And while Beca grumbled and griped every time Jesse said it was picture time, secretly, she was beyond thankful for all of the saved memories.

Standing up on the step stool, Beca grabbed the very first book, which documented their freshman and sophomore years.

Beca and Jesse's very first date had been no small feat. Looking back, Beca realized she shouldn't have expected any differently. Jesse didn't do anything small. On that weekend in April, Jesse had taken Beca to Manhattan and gotten them tickets to see _Newsie's_ on Broadway. They had gone to an authentic Chinese restaurant for dinner, explored the city, and enjoyed the full Broadway experience. That night, Beca lost her virginity to Jesse. That night, she had given him her body, and her heart, and never once did she regret it.

Sitting down on the floor, Beca grazed the cover with her hand.

 _"Every love story is beautiful_

 _but ours is my favorite"_

She opened the book and smiled at the first picture that caught her eye.

In a maroon, spaghetti strap dress, with gold chandelier earrings, Beca leaned into Jesse, who was dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans with a navy blue button down shirt. Both of them sporting huge smiles as Jesse wrapped his arm around Beca's waist, pulling her closer to him.

Beca looked down at the caption beneath it.

 _Saturday, April 28th, 2012_

 _Our first date_

For only having been together for five years, Jesse and Beca had experienced many things together. They had both agreed from the beginning that while dinner and movie dates were nice, they usually craved something a little more adventurous. Though Beca had a fear of flying, she loved to travel. Together, Jesse and Beca had visited ten states so far, including Massachusetts, New York, Vermont, North Carolina, South Carolina, California, Tennessee, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Maryland/Washington DC.

They had explored winery's together, seen countless Broadway shows, taken a dinner cruise through the Hudson River, attended thirty concerts, and despite Jesse's protests, and fears of dying, they had even gone sky diving.

As Beca flipped through the book, she smiled as she traced her fingers over the pictures and remembered those incredible dates the two of them had shared. Though Jesse could be overly perky, optimistic, and full of "fun facts", she truly did enjoy the time they spent together and the many dates they had shared. One thing was for sure, life with Jesse Swanson was anything but boring.

Beca looked down at a picture from the summer before their junior year. As was tradition in the Swanson family, Bill and Julie had invited everyone to spend two straight weeks at their Beach House in Cape Cod for relaxation, the beach, and uninterrupted family time.

On the beach, with the waves crashing around them and the sun setting in the background, Jesse held Beca in his arms and kissed her. They both displayed full smiles.

 _Thursday, July 24th, 2014_

 _Cape Cod, MA_

It may not have helped her to sleep, but the pictures did at least bring a smile to Beca's face and help take her mind off of things.

* * *

Jesse shifted in his sleep, and leaned in closer to Beca, only to realize she wasn't in bed with him. Opening his eyes, he looked over to her side of the bed to find an empty space. Jesse sat up and looked over at the clock. 4:26am.

He glanced over to their bathroom, thinking she might have gotten up to pee, but the door was open slightly, the lights shut off. Jesse rubbed his eyes and got out of bed, throwing his robe on.

He walked across the hall to Alex's bedroom. Peeking in, he saw that Alex was fast asleep in her bed, her body sprawled out and the covers kicked off. Jesse watched as her chest rose and fell with each breath she took. He walked over and gently pulled the covers up over her, tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead before he made his way out and closed the door.

Jesse walked down the stairs trying to think of where Beca could be. The main floor of the house was blanketed in darkness. The living room lights were off, the kitchen lights were off, the study lights were off. Opening the door to the basement, he made his way down thinking she might have been unable to sleep and decided to work out. No such luck. After a full search of the basement, Beca was nowhere to be found. He walked back up the stairs and immediately walked over and opened the door to the garage. Both the Volvo and the BMW were there and clearly hadn't been taken out recently. Turning back around, Jesse looked over to the island. Beca's purse and car keys were lying on the table, untouched. In the mudroom, her sneakers laid in their usual spot.

Jesse was starting to panic slightly, he didn't have the slightest clue where Beca could be at four thirty in the morning. Trying his best to remain calm and not immediately launch a search party, he opened the sliding glass door and looked out into the backyard. Beca wasn't in the pool, nor was she in the hot tub.

He talked himself into searching one more place. If he didn't find her there, he was going to start making phone calls.

Jesse quickly walked over to the front door and opened it, looking out onto the porch swing.

In the moonlight, Beca sat in Jesse's Treble sweatshirt and a pair of leggings, looking through pictures. Her hair was in a messy bun, and a coffee mug was between her legs. Jesse finally felt himself breathe again, knowing she was safe.

Beca looked up at him. "Hey, what are you doing up?"

"I should be asking you the same thing!" He replied, his voice slightly panicked. "I just woke up, not really sure why, but anyway, you weren't in bed so I thought I'd come find you and make sure you were okay. I nearly had a panic attack trying to figure out where you were."

"I'm sorry." She genuinely apologized, feeling bad that she had worried him. "I couldn't sleep and decided to get some fresh air."

Jesse walked over and sat down on the porch swing with her. Beca lifted her legs and Jesse sat down. Jesse began to rub her feet, causing Beca to close her eyes and sigh longingly. She was absolutely exhausted, and the foot rub felt incredible.

Jesse knew something was up. Beca never had a problem with sleeping unless she was stressed about something. If he had to guess, she was taking the argument she had with her dad the previous night to heart. But, Jesse also knew that he shouldn't push things, not at four thirty in the morning. When Beca was ready to talk, she would. Pushing her when she wasn't ready was only going to cause her to close in on herself.

Beca sat up and put down her coffee mug and the scrapbook she had just been looking through. Jesse could tell just by her eyes that she was tired. Had she not had a jam packed schedule at work that day, he would have told her to call Mark and tell him she was coming in late. But she simply didn't have that option, there were simply too many things on her plate.

Bringing her body towards his, Jesse opened his arms, allowing Beca to settle against him.

"Hey beautiful." He whispered as she got comfortable and rested her head against his chest. Beca wrapped her arms around Jesse's waist and Jesse kissed her forehead as his hand slipped under her shirt and lightly scratched her back. Beca closed her eyes in relaxation as she breathed him in. A cool breeze swept across the porch, blowing her hair lightly. She knew if she allowed herself, she'd be asleep in seconds, but she had to be up in twenty minutes. Her chance for sleep had passed. Beca knew she was just going to have to stay caffeinated and power through the day. But in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to stay in Jesse's arms.

"Hey, you know what I realized tonight?" She mentioned, feeling more relaxed than she had all day.

"What's that?" Jesse asked, his hand still scratching her back.

"You and I have _only_ been together for five years. I was looking through our scrapbooks. Our first date was April 28th, 2012. We've been together for five years and five months. It just feels like it's been so much longer than that." Beca explained softly. It really had felt like she had known Jesse her entire life. He knew Beca better than she knew herself. Jesse made Beca feel loved, wanted, and safe. As cheesy as it sounded, he was everything to her, and she couldn't imagine her life without him.

Jesse smiled and looked down at Beca in awe. "I'm so proud, all this time, and I thought I was the only one keeping track of dates around here."

"You are, nerd. I knew the exact date from looking through the scrapbook." Beca laughed, her body vibrating against Jesse's. "I'm good with months and years, days not so much."

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's true, Beca Mitchell-Swanson actually does have flaws." Jesse announced, laughing as Beca playfully swatted at his chest.

"Please." She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I suck at math, I can barely reach anything without a step stool, I'm always early to events, and I'm terribly anti social."

Jesse squeezed her in his arms. "I prefer to call it 'selectively social'" He explained, causing Beca to smile.

Their playful banter soon subsided as a comfortable silence fell over them and they laid together on the porch swing wrapped up in each other's arms. Jesse pressed his nose against Beca's hair as he breathed in the scent of her strawberry mango shampoo. Placing soft, sweet kisses in the nape of her neck, Jesse sighed contentedly. She had lotioned her entire body in her vanilla and brown sugar body lotion. Both scents mixed together, enveloping him. God, she smelled absolutely incredible, and knowing he couldn't have his hands on every inch of her body for at least an entire week just made Jesse want Beca that much more. But he respected her, and knew to keep his hands to himself. Instead, he kissed the top of her head just as the alarm on her phone went off, signaling it was time for her to get ready for work.

Beca shut the alarm off and looked up at Jesse. Her piercing blue eyes staring into his chocolate brown eyes, calling to him. Leaning forward slowly, hoping this was what she was looking for, he pressed his lips to hers. Responding instantly, she turned her head towards his, and melted into the kiss, sighing softly. Jesse's hand rested on Beca's waist as he rubbed her stomach lightly while Beca's hand was in Jesse's hair, pulling lightly as she continued to sigh happily against his lips. Jesse knew he had to pull back soon before the situation got out of hand, but he was so lost in the essence of Beca, so lost in the sounds escaping her mouth, he wasn't sure he could.

Finally mustering up all the will power he could, Jesse forced himself to pull away. Both of their breathing was heavy.

"We have to stop." He whispered, his face mere inches from hers. Beca nodded her head, knowing he was right. Kissing him one more time, she ran her fingers over his chest.

"I love you." Beca whispered, her eyes staring deeply into Jesse's. He smiled,and leaned back towards her, unable to resist kissing her once more.

"I love you too."

* * *

Beca stared at the screen in frustration as she tried in vain to figure out a way to make the schedules work.

"I swear I'm going to kick him in his fucking face the next time I see him" She grumbled to herself.

Beca was well respected at work, and got along with pretty much everyone. Everyone except Jax Hanson, who constantly felt the need to go to battle with her and turn everything into a fight. Jax was less than thrilled, to say the least, when Beca was hired, and hated to see someone so young doing something he had worked his whole life to perfect. He knew Beca was incredible, and he hated her for it. As a result, he fucked her over every chance he got. Today was no different.

"I really don't give a shit if Snoop has some genius idea to make a Christmas album. What is it with everyone needing to make a Christmas album anyway?! If you've heard one Christmas album, you've heard them all. Same ten songs on every damn one of them." She continued, muttering and grumbling as she played around with different time slots. She had Beyonce, J. Cole, and Rachel Platten to get into the recording studio. But because Jax felt that he had seniority, he had kicked Beca's artists off the schedule to accommodate for his own artists. She had half a mind to bust into Mark's office and demand that Jax suck his own dick and since he couldn't do that, he wasn't lucky enough to be that big, then he either stop being a dick, or get fired. But because she wasn't a tattle tale, she was resigned to put her big girl panties on and figure it out on her own.

She continued to work on the Excel spreadsheet when Damian walked in and took a seat in a chair in the corner of her office. Beca barely acknowledged him with a wave as she continued to talk to herself.

"Beyonce takes precedence over everyone, Snoop can just wait, she's still got an hour left in studio B, and if I move J. Cole to two o'clock..."

Damian could tell she was in her own little world at the moment and was paying no attention to anything going on around her.

"So, the Queen stopped by for a visit last night." He casually mentioned as he placed his hands out in front of him and examined his nails.

"Yeah?" Beca replied in a far off voice, not even looking up from her computer. "How did that go?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. We had tea and crumpets, talked about George and Charlotte, and of course the ever present battle for world peace."

"That's nice." Beca said, going right along with the conversation. "If this asshole bumps me up one more fucking time I am marching into his office and shoving my foot up his ass."

"Anyway, Pat's coming over in a few minutes, we're gonna go grab some lunch. Can I pick you up something?" Damian offered.

"Uh-huh, sure."

Beca was so fixated on creating a schedule that worked, that she would have agreed to pretty much anything. Damian was convinced she would have handed over her credit card at that point if he had asked her to.

"Indian food?" He suggested, knowing Beca hated Indian food more than anything. The spices and fiery sauces were all just too much for her taste buds. Usually, she and Stacie grabbed something, but he could tell she was intensely focused and had a feeling she wouldn't eat anything any time soon unless it was brought to her.

"Yeah, that's fine. Whatever you want."

Damian rolled his eyes as he got up from the chair and walked over to her desk.

"Beca!" He finally yelled as he stood in front of her desk. She jumped slightly as the sound of his voice brought her back into reality.

"What's going on with you today?" Damian questioned.

"I'm fine." She shrugged. "Why are you yelling at me?"

"Why? Because your eyes have barely left the computer screen since I walked in here, you asked me how my visit with the Queen went and you agreed to eat Indian food… which you hate. What's up?"

Beca sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. She glanced up to Damian. "Let me ask you something, do you think I work too much?"

Damian pursed his lips together as he folded his hands and brought them to his face. _"This is one of those 'does this outfit make me look fat'_ questions isn't it? I'm screwed no matter how I answer."

Beca rolled her eyes. "Just answer the question."

Damian sighed. "Do I think you work a lot? Yes. Do I think it's your choice? No. You're good at what you do Beca, damn good. That's why you're in such high demand. But, being in high demand means more hours. It's a double edged sword. I know you feel guilty about it. You wouldn't be asking the question if you didn't."

Beca's face softened as she swallowed thickly.

"Knock knock!"

Beca and Damian looked over to the door to see Patrick, Damian's boyfriend standing in the hallway.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything, I can always wait out-"

"Oh, please, don't be silly." Beca said with a wave of her hand. "You guys go, enjoy your lunch!"

"Bye Bec, I'll bring you back a sandwich." Damian said.

Beca smiled. "Thank you."

Turning in her chair, she looked out at the Manhattan skyline. The views of the highrise buildings never ceased to amaze her. Beca Mitchell-Swanson truly had it all, and at just twenty four years old. So why wasn't she happy?


	16. Butterfly Kisses

***I know, boy do I know. I hate that it has taken me so long to update! I just made a cross country move two weeks ago though, and the preparation, time with friends and family, and settling in took up the majority of my free time. I'm so glad to be back though and am ready to continue on with the story. Thank y'all for sticking with me on this. Your reviews provide so much encouragement and it makes me want to give my best work. So for those reviewing, I thank you, it's such a treat to hear your thoughts.**

 **Bekah-Thanks for your endless support.**

* * *

Bill Swanson was a creature of habit. Every morning, without fail, he rose at 5:30am and headed into the kitchen for his morning cup of coffee, the news, and the paper. Regardless of where he was, whether at home or on vacation, routine was routine. And after twenty some years of waking at the same time every day, he didn't even need an alarm, he woke right on time every day.

Today was no different. Opening his eyes, Bill got up out of the bed and made his way into the bathroom. After preparing for the day, he tied his robe and put on his slippers before making his way down the stairs. Julie, as usual, wasn't even phased in the slightest, and slept right through it.

At 5:30 in the morning, Bill certainly wasn't expecting to see anyone, so when he found Alex on the couch playing with her ipad, in the complete dark, he was completely startled.

"Hi Pop!"

"Shit!" He gasped, as his hand flew to his chest. "Alex, sweetheart, what are you doing up right now?!"

Alex sat on the couch, fully dressed, with her backpack on. " _You_ said a bad word, and _I'm_ waiting to go to school!" She announced, with the excitement of any young child on their first day of school.

"I have an idea." Bill said as he bent down to get on her level. "I'll get started on breakfast, why don't you go wake up Mommy and Daddy."

Alex shrugged. "Okay Pop. Oh, I don't need breakfast though!" As she ran off to head upstairs, Bill turned toward the kitchen to find a carton of organic chocolate milk, a case of oreos, and powdered donuts sitting out on the table, crumbs everywhere.

Alex stood at her parents closed door and knocked. As she stood there, she listened for any type of noise, but heard nothing. She decided to knock once more, and again she was met with silence. Figuring twice was enough knocking, she pulled down on the handle and pushed the door open slowly.

The master bedroom was blanketed in darkness. On the giant, king sized bed, Alex could see Beca on the right side, fast asleep. Jesse's head rested against her shoulder, and his arms were wrapped around her waist. Being the considerate person that she was, Alex decided against waking her parents and instead stood, staring and waiting for them to wake up on their own.

After patiently waiting for several minutes, Alex smiled when Beca finally shifted in her sleep, moving against Jesse. Subconsciously, Jesse tightened his arms around Beca before their bodies relaxed once again.

But even in her sleep, Beca could feel herself being watched. Something was not right. Slowly, her eyes began to flutter and open. The very first thing she saw was Alex's face, two inches from her's, staring at her in the dark.

Beca screamed, loudly, as she jumped up in bed, startled and terrified. Not expecting her mother to wake up screaming, Alex began to scream as well. Jesse's eyes shot open at the sound of so much screaming and bolted upright. Beca's hand was clutching her chest as she tried to regain her breath. Alex stood next to her, crying. Seconds later, Julie and Bill came running in.

"What's wrong?!" Julie yelled, thinking someone was being murdered in their sleep by the sound of all the screaming.

Jesse put his head in his hands. His entire family was in his bedroom before the sun even rose, and as he had just been in the middle of an intense dream in which Beca got over her fear of having sex while guests were in the house and was riding him hard and fast, he had to pull the covers up over himself to hide his throbbing erection. Though given the fact that his daughter and parents were in the room, he deflated relatively quickly. Any hopes of having sex of any kind with Beca was now a distant dream.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just wasn't expecting the 5:30am wake up call. _Somebody_ " Beca said, turning to face Jesse. "Though I wont say who, thought it would be a great idea to watch Poltergeist before bed the other night. Waking up to my daughter's face mere inches from mine was just slightly terrifying." She explained as she lifted Alex onto the bed and tried to console her.

"Wow Jess, that's some tent ya got pitched there." Julie acknowledged causing Beca to try and stifle her laughter. Jesse's face turned eight shades of red as he begged to be struck dead right then and there.

"What can I say, that's my boy. We Swanson men got it and know how to work it. Ain't that right son?" Bill chimed in. Jesse had never felt more horrified in his life.

Bill and Julie had always been open with Jesse and Amanda about sex from the beginning. They used the proper terms for their anatomy, and gave the kids many age appropriate talks throughout the years. Jesse thought back to being a thirteen year old boy and hearing his mother throw around words like 'ejaculation' and 'masturbation' like it was nothing. And he could still hear her voice drilling into his head the importance of not being selfish.

 _"Men and women are different when it comes to sex." Julie began to explain._

 _"Mom, please, please stop. I am literally begging you." He would plead as they were in the car, aimlessly driving around, Jesse literally had nowhere to go. It was, no doubt, all a part of his mother's master plan._

 _"Jesse, sit up straight and listen to me. I know it's embarrassing, but I will not have you growing up uninformed or getting unrealistic expectations from the internet. Now listen, a man, is like a microwave, you press a few buttons and he's ready to go. Think of a woman as an oven. She needs time to heat up. Don't be expecting to just dive in becuase you're all set and ready to go."_

 _Jesse sighed heavily as he stared out the window._

 _"Are you listening to me?" Julie asked as she momentarily took her eyes off of the road to glance over at him._

 _"Girls need time to warm up. Got it." He repeated, letting her know he was taking in what she was saying._

 _"You be gentle with her, she is not some toy at your disposal. You check in with her, make sure she's doing okay, you ask anytime you want to do something. If she says no, that's it, end of discussion. No means no. If she's had too much to drink and can't tell you yes or no? That means no. Got it?"_

 _"Yes ma'am."_

 _"Good. One last thing. Take your time. Sex is not a sprint, it's a marathon. Touch, kiss, caress, make sure she is enjoying herself just as much as you are. Sex is not just for you, she needs to get something out of it too."_

 _After she was silent for a few beats, Jesse turned and looked at her. "Please tell me we're done?" He questioned hopefully._

 _Julie glanced over at him. "For now at least."_

As a result of the many conversations his parents threw upon him, by the time Jesse lost his virginity at seventeen, he had a pretty good idea of what he was doing. And though he was grateful to his parents for their many talks, he really didn't want to be having any type of sexual conversation with his parents and daughter in his bedroom at 5:30 in the morning. To be honest, he really just wanted to crawl under the covers and hide from embarrassment. And then, to add insult to injury, Alex piped up.

"A tent? Where? I don't see one. Are we going camping?" Alex questioned as she looked around the room for the aforementioned tent her grandmother had mentioned.

Beca chuckled. "No baby, we're not going camping. Listen, I'm sorry I scared you. But what are you doing up this early?" Beca asked as she rubbed her back.

"It's the first day of school." Alex answered, sniffling.

"Sweetheart, school doesn't start for another three and a half hours." Jesse informed her as he rubbed his eyes."

Finally getting a chance to take a good hard look at Alex, Beca couldn't help but smile.

Beca should have known that Alex would be excited about school. She had insisted that they go to the mall and pick a few new outfits to choose from for the first day. After much deliberation and a full fashion show, complete with accessories, Beca and Alex finally decided on her outfit for the first day of preschool. A flowing magenta dress with blue and yellow flowers around the neckline, and a pair of white leggings to go underneath. It certainly wasn't an outfit Beca would have chosen for herself, but Alex adored vibrant, bold colors. Beca tried her best to let Alex be her own person, even if that meant wearing pink.

However, laying in bed, Beca now realized that Alex had not put on the outfit they had picked out the week before. Beca looked her up and down, shaking her head.

Alex wore a pair of neon green tights with white polka dots, a plum purple corduroy dress, and a brick red, long sleeved shirt. Her black tap shoes completed the outfit.

Looking up at her daughter's face, Beca saw the dozens of hair clips, and what appeared to be a sticky blue substance in her hair. Her face was covered in chocolate.

"Baby," Beca sighed. "Why aren't you wearing the outfit we picked out last night? And what is in your hair?"

Alex shrugged her shoulders. "I changed my mind, I don't want to wear that outfit. And it's toothpaste."

Beca knew they were in for an eventful morning. It was nearly twelve thirty in the morning when she finally walked through the door, and close to one o'clock by the time she collapsed in bed, completely exhausted. Alex was going to need a bath, breakfast needed to be made, and the BMW was overdue for an oil change.

Beca told Alex a bath was in order, and she was ready to get out of bed, when Jesse placed his hand on her back.

"Hey, you had a long day yesterday. Why don't you sleep in for a few more hours, I'll take care of getting Alex ready." He offered, knowing he needed to take his mind off of things completely. Telling Alex he would help her in just a minute, he headed into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face.

"And this is life with just one child, just you wait..." He mumbled to himself as his reflection stared back at him.

Beca hadn't had her eyes closed for longer than five minutes when her phone started buzzing with text messages.

Letting out an audible groan, she opened one eye and blindly swatted for her cell phone on the bed side table.

"If this is Mark telling me I have to come back in, I am going to lose my shit." Beca grumbled. In Mark Lazazzero's world, every minor thing was an emergency and required Beca to rush into his office frantic and out of breath. One morning, Beca, sick of running up and down hallways multiple times a day, finally had to sit down with Mark and explain to him what an emergency actually was.

 _"Beyonce' being blocked out of the studio? That's an emergency, you call me. Harry Styles needing Fiji water instead of Ice Mountain? Not an emergency, call Damien."_

Picking up her cell phone, half asleep, Beca saw the message from Amy.

 _"Shawshank, what positions did you and hottie with a body use when you were pregnant with little butt?"_

"Amy, seriously?! I am not about to tell you how Jesse and I had sex when I was pregnant! Especially not at five thirty in the morning." Beca complained to herself.

Jesse came out of the bathroom right as the words escaped her mouth. He looked over at her and groaned.

"Please, please for the love of all things holy do not mention sex right now. You have no idea how intensely wound up I am and how much I need you right now."

Beca smiled, feeling guilty for not giving into him. "I'm sorry, stopping, right now. Try and focus on that time I was pregnant and accidentally threw up all over you."

Jesse paused momentarily and scrunched up his face in disgust. "Oh...oh yeah, I almost forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder."

Beca chuckled and settled back into the covers.

As long as she lived, Beca swore she would never understand her friend's needs to discuss their sex lives with each other. She was just about to text Amy back and go tell her to 'Google it' like everyone else when another text message came in from Ashley.

 _"Please help me I'm dying."_

Beca's eyes went wide for a second. Before she had any time to react, another text message flew in.

 _"Either that or I'm pregnant. I can't really tell the difference anymore. My head has been stuck in this toilet bowl for the past four hours now. I'm vomiting, sweating profusely, and I just want to cry."_

Beca sat up and sighed as she plugged in Amy and Ashley's numbers for a three way call.

"I hate both of you so very much right now." Beca informed them when both girls picked up.

"I know, I know it's early, I'm sorry." Ashley apologized, her voice scratchy and pained. Amy was a whole lot less apologetic.

"Well I'm not! I have needs! And this belly is getting in the way of those needs. I've tried multiple different positions-"

"Please spare us the details, I'm already puking my guts out." Ashley whined.

"My man may not be the most attractive, but at least he's a rock star in the sack." Amy defended.

"And mine isn't? You certainly don't hear me complaining about a lack of sex. Though I could be having a lot more if I wasn't spewing vomit every twenty minutes and dealing with sore breasts that feel like somebody pounded them with a meat tenderizer."

Amy sighed. "Just wait until he goes to suck them and ends up with a mouth full of milk. Poor boy couldn't wash his mouth out fast enough."

"Okay, enough. Ya know, as the first one out of you weirdo's to get knocked up, I had to navigate through my entire pregnancy with no one to look to for advice, and I managed just fine. Amy, one word, cowgirl. If that doesn't work, doggy style. Ashley tell Mike to run out and get you some ginger ale and saltines. Any other questions, call Aubrey! I am no longer the only one who has been through this before. Goodnight!"

Beca hung up the phone and immediately set it to silent. She officially had the weirdest friends and didn't need to hear about anybody else's sex life for the rest of the day.

* * *

Jesse stood in the doorway of Alex's bathroom and stared, eyes wide.

He didn't even know where to begin in terms of cleaning up. Alex's pajamas had been thrown on the bathroom floor, though the hamper was less than five feet away. There had to be at least a half a tube of sparkly blue toothpaste strewn across the counter top. All of her drawers were opened wide, and there were hair ties, clips, and bows of all colors on the floor, along with a purple liquid. Seeing the empty bottle of mouthwash, he connected the pieces. Glancing back over at the sink, he found her hairbrush lying in the middle of the sink with the water still running.

Jesse Swanson was speechless.

Turning around to look at Alex, he tried to figure out how someone so small could make such a massive mess.

"Alex?" He questioned.

"Yeah Daddy?" She answered sweetly.

"Why is there mouthwash all over the floor?" He had so many questions, but this seemed like a good place to start.

"Oh, it's okay. I just dropped my toothbrush in the toilet on accident, so I put it in my bottle of mouthwash. But then I couldn't get it out, 'cause my hand is too big. So I had to dump it out. Don't worry, I got the brush out." Alex explained, not even batting an eyelash.

Jesse looked down at her and sighed. Alex smiled brightly up at him.

"Daddy, don't be sad that I can take care of myself and don't need your help anymore. I can't drive a car yet, so, I still need you for that." Alex said as she wrapped her arms around Jesse's legs.

He couldn't help but laugh. If he didn't laugh, he was going to cry.

* * *

The Learning Station Child Development Center in Fairfield, Connecticut was a welcoming yet massive facility. In fact, it just happened to be Fairfield's largest preschool. With sixteen classrooms serving children ages six weeks through five years, the school accomodated close to two hundred children. Though it may have been a larger school, Jesse and Beca both were highly impressed with the curriculum, the level of security, and the individual attention each child received. Beca and Jesse would be emailed four developmental observations of Alex each month, they were sent home a daily report of Alex's day, and they also would have weekly phone conferences with the teacher to discuss Alex's progress and learning goals. Not to mention, both the director and the assistant director seemed to know each family by name. It was a very warm and inviting place, and Beca and Jesse immediately felt at ease.

"Come on Mommy, let's go!" Alex insisted as she pulled Beca by the hand. As much as she wanted to, Alex couldn't open the door. A key card issued to each family was needed to unlock the door and enter the building.

Beca pulled the plastic card from out of her wallet, and slid it through the electronic scanner. The light changed from red to green and a click was heard. It was then that Jesse opened the door and the three of them walked in.

"Good morning Jesse, Good morning Beca!" Michelle, the center director warmly greeted from her desk. She got up out of her chair and came around to shake their hands and welcome their family. Bending down to Alex's level, she smiled brightly.

"Hi Alex, do you remember me?" Michelle asked, knowing it had been about three weeks since she had met her. Alex nodded her head in response.

"Miss. Michelle." She spoke, smiling shyly.

"That's right. We are so excited to have you here with us today for your first day. Miss. Barb and Miss. Kelsey have a ton of fun things planned for you, I'm sure you will have a great day."

Alex smiled and said thank you before looking up to Beca and Jesse. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road already!" Alex insisted, causing the three adults around her to laugh.

They thanked Michelle and began to make their way down the hall to Alex's classroom, the Magical Monkey's.

Beca couldn't understand why she was feeling so emotional as she and Jesse walked Alex down the hall, it wasn't a feeling she was expecting. She kept reminding herself that it was only preschool and it was only three days a week. It wasn't like Alex was heading off to college, it was a six hour preschool program.

But still, her stomach was in knots. How was it they were here already? How had four years flown by so quickly? It seemed like just yesterday Beca had been nine months pregnant and complaining about back pain and swollen ankles. And yet, somehow, in the midst of middle of the night feedings, endless diaper changes, six thousand viewings of _Frozen,_ stomach viruses, and potty training, Alex grew up. No longer was she dependent on Beca for her every need. Alex could walk, talk, feed herself, dress herself, go to the bathroom by herself, and entertain herself. Well, at least on most days. Today had proved to be a bit different.

Until she became a mother, and held Alexandra in her arms that very first time, Beca never knew it was possible to love someone so much. Suddenly everything seemed to be happening at lightning speed, and she wanted nothing more than to freeze time for just a minute. Gone was the baby who for weeks would only sleep curled up against Beca's chest. Gone was the infant who clapped and babbled any time music was played around her. Gone was the toddler who could play hide and seek for hours and who squealed with delight any time she found Beca or Jesse. Here in the moment was the beautiful, spunky, happy preschooler who saw nothing wrong with growing up and moving on to bigger and better things. Suddenly it felt as if Beca was going to blink and Alex would be telling her they needed to run to the store for tampons. All too quickly she knew she would be in Alex's room, holding her as she cried, and comforting her over her first heartbreak. Suddenly, time was slipping through her fingers, and she was powerless to stop it.

"Hey, you okay?" Jesse asked, taking Beca out of her thoughts and bringing her back to reality.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." She assured him. Jesse of course knew better and squeezed her hand slightly. He knew this wasn't going to be an easy task for her.

Arriving at the door to the _Magical Monkey's_ classroom, Alex pressed down on the handle, and the three of them walked in.

The open, inviting room was brightly painted in a nice shade of teal and filled with children quietly playing at different stations. A row of wooden cubbies lined the side of the room, each labeled with a Monkey displaying each child's name.

In the back of the room, several children played in the dramatic play area, which contained a play kitchen and a bin of dress up clothes. There was a table for coloring, a table with brightly colored lego's, and on the carpet, three boys played with trains and train tracks.

"Well good morning Alex! We are so happy you're here." Barb greeted as she got down to Alex's level. An older, thin woman with a golden blonde bob, Barb had been teaching Pre-K at The Learning Station for twenty years. Full of experience and creativity, she couldn't imagine working any other job. Kelsey, the second teacher in the room, couldn't have been any older than Beca or Jesse, but she was gentle, sweet, and had an impressive education that more than made up for her lack of experience.

Barb walked Alex, Beca, and Jesse over to Alex's cubby where she could hang up her backpack, lunchbox, and sleeping bag for nap time. As Alex was putting her things away, a young blonde haired little boy wearing an orange polo shirt, beige pants with a tiny little belt, and a fedora made his way over.

"Hi! My name is Parker St. James. What's your name?"

Alex looked over at the little boy who had just introduced himself. "Alex Swanson."

The young boy smiled. "Hi Alex Swanson! Do you want to build lego's with me? I need to make a castle so the crocodiles can't eat the prince and princess." He explained. Alex shrugged her shoulders.

"Sure." She replied, not seeing anything better to do. And with that, she walked away from Jesse and Beca, hand and hand with Parker, and over to the lego table.

Beca watched from the cubbies as the two children played sweetly together. Parker split up the legos as evenly as he could and chatted happily as Alex helped him build the castle. There were no tears, no clinging to legs begging them not to leave, there was no scene whatsoever. Alex walked in the room like she owned the whole damn place and didn't look back. She hadn't even said goodbye.

"Alex!" Beca called out. Alex momentarily stopped playing with the legos and looked up.

"What?" She asked, her sparkling blue eye's staring back at Beca.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye?" Beca asked.

"Oh, yeah." She said, as if the idea had completely slipped her mind. Alex walked back over to where Jesse and Beca were standing by the door and wrapped her arms around Beca's neck as her mother picked her up. Beca hugged her tightly, never wanting to let go. Planting a kiss on her cheek, she placed her back down on the floor.

"Do you remember what we talked about?" Beca asked.

"The golden rule. Always treat others the way I want to be treated." Alex replied, causing her parents to smile.

"That's right. Make sure you share with your friends, and play nicely. We'll be back to pick you up after nap, okay?" Jesse explained. Alex nodded her head.

"We love you." Beca reminded her. Alex hugged them both once more.

"Bye Mommy, bye Daddy." She stated, before turning around and heading back over to the lego's with Parker.

Beca and Jesse walked out the door, and closed it behind them. Peeking through the windows, Beca watched for a minute as Alex continued to play, not at all phased that her parents had left.

Sighing, Beca took Jesse's hand in her's as they turned to walk down the hall.

"We need to make sure our next kid isn't so clingy." Jesse joked, smiling at Beca who laughed and shook her head.

"Seriously, I practically had to rip her off of me."

"We're gonna be okay." He reminded her as his brown eyes connected with her blue eyes.

"Yeah." She confidently answered. "We will."

Just then, Beca's phone began to vibrate in her pocket. Grabbing it, she looked down to see who was calling.

"Hey." She answered, her voice sounding unsure.

"Hey, do you have any time to stop by today by chance?"


	17. Teardrop

**Here's a little something that hopefully spice's up your Monday just a bit ;) For those of you not wanting to read any smut, you should just skip this chapter entirely.**

 **RedLipClassic17-Yep, you guessed it :)**

 **Thank you once again for your reviews, they are what keep me going.**

 **Bekah-I hope I always have a story to work with you on. You're the best.**

* * *

Beca stood in front of the door, unsure of how to feel.

She had seen Chloe a handful of times since her accident, but as hard as she tried, Beca couldn't shake the awkwardness that hung in the air each time. Things were different now, they had changed and she wanted more than anything for things to go back to the way they were. Unfortunately, things would never be the way they were.

Chloe's infertility had changed everything. It wasn't the infertility itself, but the way she had handled things. Had she admitted to everyone, or at the very least confided in Beca, what was going on, things wouldn't have turned into such a mess. But as it was, instead of admitting that she and Luke just needed a little extra help to have a baby, Chloe shut the world out and transformed into a totally different person. And while she was healing physically, and receiving extensive counseling to help heal emotionally, repairing relationships wasn't quite as easy.

Beca had tried time and time again to reach out to Chloe, only to be shut down each and every time. As a result, Beca began spending more of her time with her other friends, and allowing those relationships to develop further. Beca found herself spending more time with Stacie, who, after graduating and getting into a steady relationship with Scott, had calmed down considerably. Jesse and Beca often double dated with Scott and Stacie, and Alex of course adored "Aunt CeeCee" more than life itself. Stacie was there when Beca needed a friend. While Stacie would never replace Chloe, she was there when Chloe wasn't, and that helped fill the void.

Beca rang the doorbell and took a step back, sighing. When Chloe had called her that morning after she and Jesse dropped Alex off, Beca knew she had to see her. They had a lot to discuss, and Beca had a feeling that Chloe was finally ready to have a serious conversation with her about the everything that had happened over the past year.

Opening the door, Chloe stood before Beca looking better than she had in months. Dressed in a solid, soft red, long sleeved t-shirt, and a pair of dark wash jeans, Chloe's hair hung to her shoulders in loose red curls. Her makeup was perfectly done, and Beca could smell her perfume. Looking her up and down, Beca was in awe. It had been close to a year since she had seen Chloe this put together. Standing in front of her was the Chloe that Beca had come to know and love.

"Hey. Thanks for coming over." Chloe greeted her, obviously nervous.

Beca fiddled with her fingers, she too unsure of what to make of the situation. "Yeah, of course."

Chloe stepped back, inviting Beca into the house, which looked considerably different from the last time she had seen it.

The Barnes household was back to the way it usually was. The laundry room was neatly arranged, with everything in its place. The furniture in the house was dusted, and perfectly in place.

Following Chloe into the kitchen, Beca's eyes scanned about, taking in the feel of the house. Everything was warm, welcoming and inviting. The kitchen and living room were immaculate and pristine. The trash and recycling had been taken out, and candles were burning on the island, filling the house with scents of apple and pumpkin.

There wasn't a single wine bottle in sight.

Everything looked so clean.

"Thanks." Chloe replied as she opened the oven and pulled out a batch of cookies. "It was a lot of work, but I think we finally got everything back in its place."

Shit. Beca thought to herself. Did I just say that out loud? She kept thinking of anything to say to break the ice. Things shouldn't have been this awkward between them. Chloe and Beca were best friends, or they had been at one point, and yet somehow, they felt like strangers. Beca was at a loss for words.

Glancing over to the fridge, Beca noticed a piece of paper held up by a magnet. As she walked closer, she read over the details. It was a reservation for two for a hotel room in Paris from December 1st-11th. Chloe and Luke were going to Paris?

"Paris?" Beca questioned, turning to Chloe. Chloe smiled.

"We didn't really have a chance to celebrate our anniversary this year, and Luke felt we needed a getaway. I would have been fine with a trip to the beach or something, but, I suppose Paris will do just fine."

Beca smiled. Things seemed to be getting better for Chloe and Luke. Chloe at least seemed to be putting forth an effort. Perhaps the car accident had scared her straight and made her realize just where things would be headed if she continued on the path she was on.

"Tea?" Chloe offered. Beca looked over to the stove, where Chloe was pouring hot liquid into a mug.

"No, I'm good, but thank you." Beca replied as she sat down at the kitchen table. Chloe squeezed a lemon into her tea and walked over to join her.

"Chlo I-"

But Beca didn't get a chance to complete her sentence before Chloe cut her off. "Beca I'm sorry." She blurted out.

"I know that means so little, given everything I've put everyone through, but I'm honestly very sorry. This past year has been an absolute nightmare. All I wanted to do was wake up from it, but it never seemed to happen."

Beca sighed. "Why didn't you come to me?"

Chloe's eyes cast downward as she ran her index finger along the rim of her cup. "Honestly? I don't even know. Everything just snowballed. I kept thinking eventually we would get pregnant and nobody would ever need to know how we struggled. I kept thinking that if I didn't talk about it, didn't acknowledge it, that it wasn't real and I didn't have to deal with it. But whether or not I talked about it, it was still happening."

When she looked back up at Beca, tears began to form in her eyes. "Everything got so screwed up so damn fast. I became so angry, bitter, and hateful. I was angry at so many people. I was angry at God for being broken, I was angry at my husband for not being able to fix the problem, and I was really angry that all my friends could get pregnant and I couldn't. Aubrey's baby shower just about killed me. I came home that day and stayed in bed sobbing. I'm a good person, I would make an amazing mother, I don't deserve what happened to me."

Chloe had never been very religious before, but she seemed to discover her faith when she met Luke. Luke, had been raised to be a God fearing, southern gentleman. Moving to Connecticut had done nothing to change that. Chloe, it seemed, truly found herself after she fell in love with Luke. Together the two attended their local Methodist Church, where Chloe was the Sunday School Coordinator. However, her infertility issues had taken a huge toll on her, and caused her to deeply question her faith. Her infertility, and her inability to properly deal with it caused her to nearly lose everything.

"Chloe...you need to know that bad things don't happen to people as a form of punishment. Bad things happen to good people all the time. Life isn't fair. I didn't deserve to lose my baby. My father didn't deserve to be cheated on by his wife and left to raise his daughter on his own. Ashley didn't deserve to nearly be raped at a party. When bad things happen to people, it isn't because they need to be punished."

"I know that now." Chloe whispered, tears streaming down her face as she blew out a breath. She knew deep down that there was no excuse for her behavior.

"I thought I had done something to upset you." Beca began. She was unsure of where she was going with this, but hoped she would find the right words along the way.

"At first, when you started dodging my phone calls and avoiding me, I figured I would just back off and give you your space. If anybody knows about needing space, it's me. But after a while, it was like you dropped off the face of the Earth. You stopped coming out with us, you weren't talking to anybody, you missed our annual trip to Destin, you missed Alex's dance recital. I didn't have the slightest clue what was going on with you, how the hell was I supposed to explain to Alex what was going on? Even when I did find out, I still didn't have the slightest idea how to explain to her that you didn't want to see her because she reminded you of what you couldn't have." Beca stood up and looked out the sliding glass door. The leaves were just starting to change, creating a beautiful scenery in Chloe's backyard.

"This is going to be hard to hear, and I can't help but feel like a complete bitch, but what kind of friend would I be if I didn't tell you?"

Beca took a deep breath as she stared Chloe face on. "You pushed me away Chloe. Every single time I tried to reach out, you pushed me even further. You missed your Goddaughter's first recital, and you bitched me out for having a good marriage. It was as if my marriage was the reason yours was falling apart. I almost lost Jesse before I realized what pushing people away does. If you don't love, you can't get hurt. But it sure is lonely by yourself."

Beca's words hit Chloe hard. As much as it hurt, she knew she deserved it, she knew she needed to hear the truth.

"I can forgive you Chloe, and I still love you, but it's going to take more than one conversation to repair this relationship." Beca said as she grabbed her keys.

"I gotta run, I'm meeting Jesse and his parents for lunch. I'll call you tonight Chlo."

Beca patted Chloe's shoulder on her way out, and Chloe grabbed onto it, tears streaming down her face.

It was at this moment that Chloe truly realized the full magnitude of her actions. Beca was right, it was going to take more than one talk to fix things. Staring down at her cup of tea, Chloe was left to wonder if things would ever be exactly the same again.

* * *

"You skipped a page." Alex pointed out, causing Jesse to sigh.

The Cat in the Hat. Of course she would want him to read The Cat in the Hat. After a week of abstinence, the last thing he had left to do was get Alex in bed and asleep. So it seemed only logical that on this particular night she would make him read the longest book she owned. Stupidly, Jesse had attempted to skip over a page or two, hoping Alex wouldn't notice. But no, Alex noticed _everything_.

"It's a long book." Jesse replied, looking down at her.

"We're almost done!" Alex insisted, resting her head against Jesse's chest. Nodding his head, Jesse cleared his throat and continued on with the last ten pages.

"Alright peanut, time for bed, it's a school night."

Alex frowned. "But I'm not tired."

"If you lay really still, and think good thoughts, you'll fall asleep pretty quickly." Jesse insisted.

"But..." Alex began, her blue eyes looking up at her father. "I have to go potty."

"You just went potty ten minutes ago. You also washed your face, and brushed your teeth."

Alex leaned in closely and whispered. "But I just peed, I need to go the other type of potty."

Jesse swore Alex had a sixth sense about this stuff. And as much as he wanted to go spend time with Beca, he wanted to make sure Alex was comfortable and settled in. The alternative, he knew, was Alex crying for them continuously and interrupting them every five minutes. Knowing Beca would kill him for doing this, Jesse was desperate. He figured by the time she asked how he got Alex settled in so quickly if she even did ask, he would have her turned on enough that she didn't care.

He told Alex to go to the bathroom while he walked into his bedroom and grabbed the Ipad. As he returned to Alex's room, she was drying her hands and getting back into bed.

"This is our little secret, and a once in a blue moon type of thing. We are not making a habit of this." Jesse explained.

"Kind of like sleeping in yours and mommy's bed?" Alex asked.

"Exactly like that." Jesse answered as he set the movie up.

 _Cars_ filled the screen and Jesse placed it on top of Alex's bedside table.

"I love you Alex, I'll see you in the morning." Jesse said as he kissed her forehead and tucked her into the covers.

"I love you Daddy." Alex replied. And though Jesse was glad to be done with the bedtime routine and free to find Beca, his heart melted at his young daughter's words. He did love her, more than she could ever know.

* * *

Jesse shut the door and leaned against the wall, sighing. The previous week had been pure torture. He, of course, loved his parents, and enjoyed having them stay with them, but it would have been all the more enjoyable if he had still been having sex with his wife every night. The days were fine. They were full of fun and enjoyable moments making memories with his family. But at night, when he had to watch her change, when he would would glance up and see her in a thong or her bra and a pair of tight jeans, he thought he was going to explode from frustration. He could barely even touch her for fear that he would immediately jump her, so desperate for release. At one point, he briefly considered sleeping on the couch. Cold showers and his hand only lasted so long.

But tonight, he didn't have to wait any longer. Tonight, all his waiting was going to pay off.

He found Beca in the laundry room. The upper half of her body was in the washer, grumbling about something, and her lower half was encased in a pair of tight dark wash jeans that made her ass look amazing.

"Seriously, how many times do I have to tell him to take this shit out of his pockets before he puts them in the hamper. Fucking coins. What the? A pen? Seriously Jesse?" Beca mumbled as he watched her balance precariously on the tips of her toes. She must have told Jesse hundreds of times to make sure to empty his pants pockets before throwing them in the hamper so that she didn't have to practically climb into the washer and fish for the various nick nacks he collected throughout the day. He probably listened about ten or so times.

Finally gathering everything out of the washer, Beca emerged to find Jesse standing next to her with a huge grin plastered across his face.

"Dude, the change situation. How hard is it to empty your pockets? The next time I-"

But she didn't have a chance to finish her sentence before Jesse backed her against the wall and pressed his raging hard on against her.

Grasping her hips, he immediately began kissing and biting along Beca's neck, knowing he was going to leave several hickeys, and not caring in the slightest.

Beca moaned softly and brought her hands to Jesse's hair, encouraging his activities. It had taken her brain a few seconds to catch up, as she wasn't expecting her husband to jump her in the laundry room, but she wasn't complaining. She knew he had suffered through a long week, and she was more than willing to make it up to him.

Bringing her hand down to rub him through his jeans, Jesse hissed and gently pushed her hand away, shaking his head.

"I need time to get myself under control. I've been fantasizing about you all week, and if I don't calm down, I'll come before I'm even inside you. Let me take care of you first, in case things are over before you can finish." He explained. Beca nodded her head.

Taking a step back from her, Jesse slowly began to undo the buttons on Beca's dark blue top. Beca looked up at him through hooded eyes. Her neck was red, and her breathing was heavy.

"I have to apologize in advance." He whispered as he popped the first button open. "But I can't make love to you tonight."

Beca was confused, and her eyes displayed that. If Jesse had gotten her all riled up and was just going to leave her high and dry, she was not going to be happy.

"I can't be romantic, I can't be slow." He continued, opening the second button. He could see her black, lacy Victoria's Secret push up bra coming into view. Working on the third button, Jesse began to kiss and nibble along Beca's ear.

"I just want to fuck you tonight. No candles, no music, I want to throw your legs over my shoulder and make you come so hard you can't help but scream my name." He breathed in her ear. Beca closed her eyes and whimpered. This was intense. She never felt like they had a boring sex life-far from it actually. But it had been a while since the last time sex had been more lust filled. Knowing what laid ahead for the night, Beca felt herself grow more and more aroused. The last time Jesse had been in this mood, she came eight times in one night. Her parents had taken Alex for the night, and Jesse had his way with Beca in practically every room of the house. By the next morning, she had almost completely lost her voice and was sure that at least one neighbor had called neighborhood security.

With Alex asleep just a short distance away, Beca knew she certainly couldn't be _that_ loud tonight, and as a result, was going to have to intensely focus on not getting caught up and screaming.

Jesse successfully unbuttoned Beca's top and pulled it off of her creamy pale skin before diving in and planting hickey's along her breasts while his hands worked to get her out of her jeans. He was desperate to mark up her entire body tonight.

Beca's nails returned to Jesse's freshly cut hair as she panted, the delightful sensation coursing through her body had her feeling like she was on fire.

"Jesse..." She cried, her voice high and tight and full of desire. Jesse pulled back from her breasts and briefly looked into her eyes before crashing his lips against hers while he continued to work her jeans off of her body. Running his tongue against her bottom lip, Beca instantly opened her mouth and relished the feel of Jesse's tongue against her's. She moaned against his lips as he grunted in agreement. With one final tug, he had her jeans completely off, and Beca kicked them across the room.

She stood against the wall in her matching lace bra and thong, and Jesse continuously felt himself grow harder and harder. God, he needed to be inside her, he was so desperate to feel her around him and for her to give him the relief that only she could.

As they continued to kiss, Beca took Jesse's hand and guided it to where she needed him the most.

Slipping his hand inside of her panties, Jesse swore out loud.

"Fuck baby, you're soaked." He exclaimed, his fingers drenched in her fluids. Lubrication had never been a problem for Beca, but damn, it was practically pouring out of her like a flood gate had just been opened.

"Please, please, please, please..." Beca cried against his lips. She was practically shaking with the desire to have an orgasm. Though she had initiated the week long break, she too was desperate to get off.

Jesse pulled back from Beca's lips, and before she had the chance to protest, he lifted her up and placed her on top of the dryer.

Pulling her sopping wet panties off of her, Jesse threw them onto the ground before pulling Beca forward, so her ass was at the edge of the machine, before bending down to kiss her inner thighs. Beca's hands gripped the side of the dryer and her head fell back the second she felt his tongue against her. Suddenly, her body was electrified and dying to explode.

"Yeah, yeahhh, oh God..." She moaned as he sucked her clit in just the right way. Feeling his fingers slip inside of her, Beca's hands reached behind her to unhook her bra, releasing her breasts. Sighing, she began to massage her breasts and pinch her nipples as she tried her absolute hardest not to scream his praises.

Releasing a hand from her breast, she reached down and grasped at his hair, encouraging him on.

"So close, Jess I'm so close, you're doing so good." Beca moaned. Knowing just what to do to throw her over the edge, Jesse curved his fingers upward and massaged her G-spot. He could feel her body begin to shake, and Beca was softly crying out as he sucked her as hard as he could. As she began to come down, Jesse pulled his fingers from her body, only to replace them with his tongue. His thumb softly massaged her clit. Before Beca knew what was happening, she was coming apart again, and almost in tears with intense pleasure. As she came down from her second orgasm, Beca leaned her body, fully naked now, back on the dryer, resting her weight on her hands. Jesse pulled his head back from her core, and simply stared at her, words failing him. Without saying anything, Beca hopped down from the dryer, and stood in front of Jesse, staring him down. Backing him against the wall, she held his gaze as her hand slipped down to undo his belt buckle. Jesse could already feel himself begin to shake with anticipation, not sure what part of her body she was going to use on him.

Slowly, she pulled his belt out of the loophole and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling the zipper down as well. Looking up at Jesse, Beca bit her lip teasingly and slipped her hand inside to rub his erection through his boxers. As much as he wanted to, Jesse couldn't keep his eyes open as the pleasure coursed through his body. Beca kissed up and down his neck as she continued to rub.

"You miss me baby?" She whispered.

"God, yes." He moaned, loving how it felt to have her lips on him again. Beca released his hardened dick, and Jesse groaned at the lack of contact. Beca began to unbutton his shirt.

"I've been thinking about riding you all week. I've had to use my vibrator more than once to help take the edge off." She whispered, running her hands along his rock hard abs. "I wanted to give into you so many times, but the waiting has made me just want you that much more. It was worth it."

Beca smiled before pulling Jesse's boxer briefs down and releasing his rock hard, throbbing, eight inch dick. Figuring she had put the poor man through enough, Beca wasted no time in taking him in her mouth.

"Fuck!" Jesse yelled as his eyes rolled back into his skull. The first swipe of her tongue nearly made him come. Fighting against the overwhelming urge to release, Jesse began to run his hands through Beca's hair as she sucked his tip and stroked the rest of him.

"So good, don't stop...oh, oh shit, don't stop." He moaned as he began to rock his hips against her mouth.

Not being able to take it any longer, Jesse finally allowed himself to let go as he moaned heavily before finishing in her mouth. Beca continued to pump him until he was dry. Leaning back up against the wall, Jesse panted heavily, so thankful for an orgasm.

Standing up, she allowed her hands to roam all across Jesse's stomach as she removed his shirt and kissed along his chest. "The things I want to do with you tonight..." She sighed. "I've been wet and wanting you all week."

Jesse groaned, running his fingers over her ass and massaging. "I miss being inside of you. I don't know how much longer I can wait."

Beca grabbed his hands from behind her and instructed him to lay down on the floor and kick off his jeans and boxers. Immediately complying, Jesse laid on the linoleum floor and Beca could see the start of another erection. Straddling his waist, she rested her body on his stomach. Jesse could feel her wetness against him and sighed knowing he had done that to her.

His eyes settled on Beca's body, unable to stop staring. Her brown hair cascaded around her, her full breasts hung so perfectly. Jesse found himself intoxicated by every inch of her.

Leaning forward, Beca captured Jesse's lips in a heated kiss.

"You do so much for me." She whispered breathlessly, feeling herself begin to heat up again.

"I love you. I'd do anything for you." Jesse answered as his hands returned to her ass to caress her. And Beca knew it was the truth. Never in her life would she ever have to question Jesse's loyalty or commitment.

"I wanna make you happy, I wanna make you feel so good. I know the wait was hard, but I'm all yours tonight. What do you want babe? Tell me what you need." She breathed as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Jesse lifted Beca's hips and pushed himself into her.

"You. I just need you."

Beca nodded as she began to build a rhythm and ride Jesse. Leaning forward to rub her clit more powerfully against him, her breasts rocked up and down in front of Jesse's face. Running his hands up Beca's stomach, he then opened his mouth and closed his lips against her nipple. Beca's face scrunched up in pleasure as she began to pant and ride him faster. The coil in her stomach was wound tightly and begging to come undone.

In the kitchen, she could hear her phone vibrating on the counter, and the dishwasher beeping, letting her know that the cycle was finished. But none of it mattered, Beca's focus was completely and totally on Jesse and making sure he was taken care of. In that moment, it was her only responsibility.

"Shit.." He groaned, watching Beca above him, riding him with everything she had. She was biting her lip, and Jesse knew she was trying her absolute hardest not to get loud. Though every now and then, he would hear a moan escape, turning him on even further. He had wished he could make the feeling last all night, but he knew he was reaching the end. He needed to release.

"I need to come, I can't wait any longer." Beca cried, her hands planted firmly on his chest, and her hips grinding against his in a circular motion.

Jesse nodded. "I'm ready when you are. Let go for me."

Beca felt the knot in her stomach begin to come apart, and the orgasm shot through her body like a tidal wave. She wanted to chase it, milk it for all it was worth, but her knees were killing her from kneeling astride Jesse. As much as she wanted to, she could no longer make her legs move. Jesse noticed her pace slow down, and knew she wasn't completely finished. Knowing she needed some help, he grasped her hips and helped her rock against him.

Beca cried out Jesse's name as she felt her orgasm return and engulf her entire body. She bit her bottom lip and tried her hardest to hold back her screams.

Jesse could feel her contracting against him, and released heavily into her, sighing as he found relief once again that night.

"Holy shit that was incredible." He moaned, trying to regain his breathing. Beca nodded her head as she rested above him, her eyes still closed as she came down from an explosive orgasm.

"Oh God, that was so good." She breathed. "So much better than a vibrator."

Jesse immediately swelled with pride knowing that even a sex toy couldn't make her feel nearly as good as he could.

Beca removed herself from Jesse's body, and found that her legs could barely support herself. Laying down next to him on the cold floor, she was slightly uncomfortable, but none the less enjoyed the feeling of being next to Jesse.

He leaned over to her and lightly kissed her lips as his hand stroked her side.

"I missed you so much." Jesse whispered. Beca brought her hand to his cheek and nodded as their noses gently grazed.

"I missed you too."

Opening her mouth, she invited Jesse's tongue in, deepening the kiss. Slowly, he brought his body on top of hers, giving his hands better access to roam.

"Jess..." Beca breathed. "I'm not ready to quit yet, and I want you all night tonight, but this position really isn't comfortable. Can we take this upstairs?"

Jesse agreed that the floor wasn't the most comfortable place, and helped Beca up, ready to head to their bedroom.

They made it to the stairs before Jesse started to touch. With Beca's back to his front, Jesse's hands reached out to skim her stomach as he kissed along her back. Beca moaned softly.

"We're almost there." She reminded him.

"I can't wait." Jesse whispered. "I want you again."

Beca paused. "What's that noise?" She could hear soft talking coming from somewhere.

"Did you leave the TV on in our room?" She asked, turning to face Jesse.

Jesse merely stared at her, unsure of what to tell her exactly, and hoping two orgasms were enough to defuse her anger.

Giving him "the look", Beca folded her arms across her chest. "Is Alex watching a movie?"

"Uhh...well...hopefully she's asleep by this point." Jesse mumbled. Beca continued to glare.

"I was desperate! First she made me read Cat in the Hat, then she continued to find excuse after excuse not to go to bed. I couldn't help it." He whined.

Beca smirked and shook her head before pulling Jesse's lips to hers. "You're lucky I love you nerd."

He walked her backwards into the bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him, and pushed her body onto the bed and up against the pillows as he climbed on top of her. Beca immediately spread her legs to allow Jesse to settle in between them. Jesse began massaging her breast as he kissed her like his life depended on it. Their breathing began to speed up, and they both felt their bodies heating up and preparing them for round two. Pulling back from Beca's lips, Jesse attached himself to her neck and began to suck and nibble.

With her hands holding his head against her neck, Beca panted, loving how his lips felt against her skin. "Jesse," She breathed. "I have work tomorrow, you're leaving hickey's everywhere."

"Mmmhmm, the world deserves to know you are a happily satisfied married woman." He whispered against her skin.

Satisfied with the marks he left, his lips trailed down her body. Jesse kissed along her collarbone and chest before sucking her breast into his mouth, and swirling his tongue around her nipple.

" _God...yes."_ She sighed as she scratched her nails up and down his back. Releasing her nipple, Beca groaned at the lack of contact until she realized where he was heading.

Spreading her legs, Jesse once again brought Beca to another intense orgasm as he tongued her core and sucked her until her legs were shaking.

As he removed his face from her center, Jesse locked eyes with Beca, who was panting heavily.

She knew what he was asking, what he needed, and she nodded her head. Jesse pulled his body flush to hers, and kissed her forehead.

She looked up at him, eyes focused and intent. "Hey," She whispered. "Don't hold back tonight. I want it a little more rough."

Jesse nodded as he bent down to kiss her, her words setting him on fire once more.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, continuing to kiss her as his hand slid down to rub her clit. Beca's nails scraped against his back as she closed her eyes. "Yeah." She finally answered, nodding her head. Jesse removed his hands from her body, and Beca sighed, opening her eyes to look up at him. Sitting up, Jesse took Beca's legs and brought them up to her chest, spreading her wide.

Though Beca knew it was coming, and knew he was going to push into her, she couldn't help but gasp as the rough sensation took her breath away. Jesse grunted as he pushed into her harder and harder each time. The position allowed him to be incredibly deep inside of her, and the feeling was intense for both of them. Jesse locked eyes with Beca, who was fighting to keep hers open.

"It's, ughh, it's okay, you can close them if you need to." Jesse panted as he rocked against her. Beca nodded as her eyelids fell closed and she released a moan against her will.

"Jesse...so good." Beca breathed as she reached her arm back to grab the headboard. Their bed was shaking with every thrust Jesse gave, and though he was never very vocal during sex, Jesse couldn't help but groan and pant from the intense feeling coursing through his body. That coupled with Beca's not so quiet moans and cries created quite the soundtrack in their bedroom. Beca laid in bed, silently praying that Alex didn't wake up.

Jesse didn't even attempt to try and quiet Beca, as he knew it was no use. And though he was slightly nervous about Alex waking up, he didn't want to quiet Beca. There was nothing sexier, nothing that turned him on more than having her underneath him, crying out in ecstasy, because of him.

He was deep inside of her, and thrusting hard, hoping she would come soon. He didn't have to wait for long. After two more powerful thrusts, Beca gasped as she arched her back and allowed her head to fall back into the pillows. Her muscles contracted against him, pulling him in and gripping him tightly as her orgasm overpowered her. Grasping the headboard, she rode out the wave and felt Jesse explode into her.

Jesse's head fell against her neck as he tried to regain his breathing. He had no words to describe the pleasure that just coursed through his body.

"Oh my God my legs are so sore." Beca groaned as she laid beneath Jesse, her legs still pressed up against her chest. As slowly and gently as he could, Jesse eased her legs back down, rubbing them as he did. Beca whimpered slightly, but was grateful as she felt the blood rush back through her.

"Damn." It was all Jesse could say as he stared into Beca's eyes and thought about what they just did.

Beca laughed. "That was hot."

"I love hearing you moaning and breathing in my ear. You're so sexy."

"I love how you make me moan. Tonight has been incredible." She replied, praising Jesse's skills.

He pushed her hair behind her ear as he rubbed his knuckles against her cheek.

"How did I get so lucky?" He whispered. Beca knew it was a serious yet rhetorical question. But she couldn't help it.

"I believe you knocked me up." She deadpanned. Jesse closed his eyes as he shook his head and smirked. "You may be a sarcastic pain in the ass, but you'll always be my sarcastic pain in the ass."

Beca bit her lip as she laughed, naked and exposed beneath him.

"You wanna shower?" He asked her. "If you're nice, I might even wash your hair."

"Oh, so this shower is for the two of us? Why Mr. Swanson...what am I to think?"

"Purely environmental reasons of course. I'm all for doing what I can to save the planet." He answered without missing a beat.

Beca sat up in bed and followed Jesse to the bathroom despite the fact that her legs were killing her. Her body reeked of sex, and she knew she had to get cleaned up.

* * *

They had had sex twice more in the shower, and Jesse finally felt satisfied. He wasn't sure where Beca got her energy from, but he certainly wasn't complaining. She liked sex just as much as he did and was almost always up for a round. Jesse knew he was completely spoiled.

But as he brushed his teeth and got ready for bed, he knew that they didn't have many nights like this left. They were trying for another baby, and it was only a matter of time before Beca got pregnant. Even after the six week mark came and went, the chances of them having sex with a newborn and a five year old in the house were slim to none. He could just picture them trying to get into something when the baby would start crying, causing Alex to wake up and Beca to leak. Suddenly he wasn't so sure he was ready for the change.

Beca never really wanted more than two kids. It was Jesse who always dreamed of the big family life. But with one child who was already so independent, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to start over again. The diapers, the middle of the night feedings, teething, and the crying. And that was just the baby. While Beca hadn't had postpartum depression with Alex, she was still quite moody and irritable for the first couple of weeks. And getting back in bed with her had proved harder than Jesse had imagined. Feeling unsure of herself and her body, Beca was nervous about how sex would feel after a baby, and if she would still be enough for Jesse. Which was a crazy idea for him, and he had spent weeks reminding her how much he loved her and wanted to be with her despite her beliefs to the contrary. He thought back to how rough that first time had been...

 _"...Just don't touch my boobs."_

 _I was completely unsure of how to respond to her request. "Um...what?"_

 _Beca rolled her eyes at my response. "My boobs, don't touch them. I'll most likely leak and it'll be totally gross, and I don't want breastmilk going all over the place."_

 _"But..." I protested. "Your boobs are incredible, they're my favorite part of your body."_

 _Beca stared back at me. "Jess..."_

 _"It's fine. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll keep my hands away, I promise." I reassured her. I would do whatever I needed to in order to ensure she was comfortable._

 _"I'm...just go slow, please." Beca mumbled, feeling completely vulnerable and unable to look me in the eye._

 _"Hey," I began, gently lifting her chin with my finger. "We don't have to do this tonight if you don't want to. Bec, I would never hurt you, ever. I don't care how long it takes, if you're not one hundred percent ready, you don't have to do this. I'll wait for you as long as I need to."_

 _Beca shook her head. "No, I want to be with you. I'm ready for this." She assured me, her voice firm and confident._

 _"I promise baby, I'll be gentle."_

 _I kissed along her neck, and ran my fingers along her stomach, trying my best to relax her and get her turned on, but I could tell she was distracted._

 _"I think I hear Alex crying." She informed me._

 _"I don't hear anything. She's fine baby, relax." I reminded her, my lips never leaving her neck._

 _"She might be hungry." Beca insisted. "Maybe she didn't eat enough the last feeding."_

 _I sighed, not sure how else to take her mind off of things._

 _"You just fed her forty five minutes ago. You burped her, you changed her, and she fell right to sleep. She's fine, really, she is. Do you need to go check on her?"_

 _"No, I'm good, I'm totally into this, promise."_

* * *

It took nearly a half hour to get Beca into things that night, and even then, she was clearly distracted. Alex was eighteen months old before things got back to "normal" and Jesse wasn't sure if he wanted to do it all over again. He liked their lives the way they were. He and Beca had each other, and they had Alex. They had wonderful friends, fulfilling careers, and a family that loved and supported them. Why rock the boat?

Beca was laying in bed watching The Golden Girls when Jesse came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Are you happy?" He asked her point blank. Beca turned her head to face Jesse, completely confused.

"What?" She questioned, unsure of where this was coming from.

"Are you happy? Like...with me, our family, our lives?"

Beca chuckled slightly. "I'm pretty sure what we just did should tell you that I am more than satisfied and happy with you. But yes, I'm happy. Ridiculously happy in fact. Why do you ask?"

Jesse sat down on the bed and turned to look at Beca. "I really enjoyed tonight. Being with you is one of my favorite things in the world. We won't be able to have many nights like this with a newborn in the house."

"And you're just now realizing this?" Beca asked. Jesse shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Well, yeah. I just...we have each other, and we have Alex. We're happy."

"Are you telling me you're having second thoughts about having another baby?" Her eyes were hardened, as she sat up in bed.

"I don't know, maybe." Jesse answered, slightly unsure of his response.

Beca scoffed. "Dude I don't know if you're aware, but we just spent the past three hours having intense, earth shattering sex with no birth control! Four times you came inside of me, Jesse. And now you're telling me you're not so sure you want another baby? It's a little late for that don't you think?"

Jesse sighed. "I'm just a little nervous is all. I know everything will be fine once the baby gets here, it's just all starting to become real. I'll be fine, I mean it's not like I'm gonna be mad at you if you did get pregnant tonight."

Beca's eyes widened at Jesse's response.

"Oh, well thank you! I'm so glad to hear you wouldn't be mad at me for something _you_ had a part in Mister "I don't wanna make love to you I wanna fuck you till you scream my name." I'm pretty sure I wasn't the one who initiated things tonight, thank you very much." Beca harshly whispered, her arms folded across her chest. She had just been in an incredible mood, feeling satisfied and ready to sleep warmly encased in Jesse's arms. Now she was slightly pissed and offended. Jesse immediately read her mood and moved up the bed to be closer to her.

"You can be a real ass sometimes, you know that?" She grumbled as he rubbed her back and kissed her shoulder.

"You're completely right. I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have brought that up right after everything we just did." He apologized.

"We agreed we didn't want Alex being an only child. I've been the only child, got the t-shirt, angry piercings, and tattoos to show for it. Alex deserves siblings. Could you imagine your life without Amanda?"

Jesse paused for a second as he appeared to think it over in his head.

"Jesse..." Beca griped.

"Okay, okay, you're right. I couldn't imagine my life without Amanda. She may embarrass me and irritate me at times, but she's my only sibling, and I love her."

Beca looked over at him as he took her hands in his.

"I'm sorry. You and I are in this together. Whatever happens, happens. You'll get pregnant when the timing is right. And I promise you, I will be thrilled, and I will be with you every step of the way, from the morning sickness right down to the delivery."

"You promise?"

"Absolutely, I promise."


	18. As I'm leaving

**There are no excuses for taking this long to uupdate, but I'm going to list them anyway! A cross country move, settling in, a new job, a new relationship, holidays. Things have been pretty hectic over on my end. But please know that I have no intentions of ever abandoning this story. It's my baby, honestly. It may take me a while between updates, but I promise to see this through to the end.**

 **I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and I hope to hear from many of you! Your reviews are what keep me going. To those of you who take the time to give me your feedback, I am forever grateful. None of them go unnoticed, I assure you.**

 **My readers are the best, and I love each of you!**

 **Bekah-Thanks for never giving up on me.**

 ***Kleenex Warning***

* * *

*Ashley's POV*

Today should have been one of the happiest days of our young lives I thought to myself. But as I sat in the passenger seat of the car, my body wracked with sobs, all I could feel was pain and devastation. More than anything, I felt terribly alone. This of course is a ridiculous feeling to have because I am anything but alone at the moment. I am a mother to be, I am carrying a child I prayed for and want more than anything, my beautifully perfect daughter. She is with me every moment of the day. But as I continue to cry, my hands gently rubbing my belly, I still cannot help but feel anything but alone.

The pain feels like it's eating me alive from the inside out. I cannot move, I can barely breathe. All I can do is sob. Hot, salty tears pour from my eyes as I hyperventilate, trying so desperately to get air into my lungs.

"God give me the strength! I can't do this on my own!" I cried out as I looked toward the Heavens.

I've lost track of how long I've been in the car now. Five minutes? Thirty Minutes? Time is a total blur. In a matter of seconds, I found my world turned completely upside down and backwards, and nothing, absolutely nothing makes sense anymore.

We had been so excited as I laid on that exam table, my belly exposed, and Michael's hand in mine. He had leaned down ever so gently as he kissed my forehead and whispered that he loved me. As the ultrasound wand danced across my stomach, Michael squeezed my hand, knowing we were only seconds away from finding out whether I was carrying our son or daughter.

In that moment, there was so much hope, so much possibility that lay ahead. And in a matter of seconds, it was ripped from me.

I instantly knew something was wrong. There was something about the way the ultrasound tech kept staring at the screen. She kept taking pictures from different angles, and making strange faces. The probe sat right on top of my uterus a lot longer than it should have. I felt my breath catch in my chest as all sorts of visions filled my brain. Something was wrong, but what? Was my baby missing limbs? Jessica had just last week told me about her cousin, whose baby was operated on in the womb when it was discovered that his spine was exposed. Was that what was wrong with my baby?

"Hey, maybe it's twins." Michael nervously laughed, trying in vain to lighten the mood. But nothing he could have said in that moment would lighten the mood. The tension in the room was thick enough to slice with a knife.

"I just need to get a second opinion, I'll be back shortly." The technician murmured before placing the probe back on the table and exiting the room. She was out the door before I even had a chance to question anything. Laying on the table, with my shirt rolled up and gooey gel still smeared on my stomach, I stared straight ahead at the wall as tears began to fill my eyes.

"Ash, I'm sure everything is perfectly fine." Michael tried to assure me. But I shook my head as I laid there on the exam table. Nothing in that moment was perfectly fine.

"Something's wrong. I can feel it." I whispered before bursting into tears. Silently, my body shook as my emotions began to pour out of me. Something was definitely wrong, and no one was telling me what was going on.

He tried, I'll give him that. As I openly sobbed, feeling so afraid and helpless, Michael did try to comfort me. But it was no use. My mind had instantly jumped to the worst case scenarios, and until I knew what was going on, nothing was going to be able to comfort me.

"What if it's dead?" I gasped, as the idea popped into my head. Immediately I began to feel sick as the thought of having to deliver a lifeless baby came into my brain.

"Oh my God..." I cried, my body shaking. My mascara began to run down my reddened cheeks, and while I knew I had to calm myself down, in that moment, I just didn't know how.

"Ashley, look at me." Michael insisted, but I couldn't. I couldn't face him.

"Baby, I'm serious, look at me." He pleaded. "Look at me Ash."

Turning my face towards his, with tears gushing from my eyes, he locked his eyes with mine.

"We heard the heartbeat, remember? Our baby is not dead, do you hear me? We have a perfectly healthy child, and it is most definitely not dead. You need to believe that. Everything is okay, I promise." He explained to me as he kissed away my tears. "Everything is okay."

The way he had spoken, the way he had taken charge, you would have thought that we were in this together. We were supposed to be a team, the two of us. After three years of dating, and two years of marriage, Michael Beaumont knew everything about me. He had seen me when no one else had, he had promised to love and support me for the rest of my life. But the very second something went wrong, he was nowhere to be found.

I looked over to the empty drivers seat. He had left me alone. The sound of him slamming the car door echoed in my brain as I leaned my head against the window.

He had left me alone.

 _"...You have options."_

My head whipped around at the sound of this. Options? Options?! What options? My option was to bring this darling girl into the world. Healthy or not, she was _my_ girl, and I was going to do whatever I had to to give her life.

"Options?" Michael echoed, as if he was curious to know what our choices were, as if we had a choice in this.

"Ninety two percent of couples faced with a Down Syndrome prognosis choose to abort." The doctor informed us.

"And that's still a possibility? Even with Ashley being so far into her pregnancy?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And suddenly, out of nowhere, came a strength inside of me that I never knew existed. My maternal instincts had kicked in, and I was ready for a fight.

The doctor looked down to the floor before sighing and regaining his composure. "Late term abortions are available when there is a health concern to mother or child."

"Don't you even think about coming anywhere near my body with drugs! Unless it's an epidural, you stay the hell away from my body and my baby!" I yelled as my body lunged forward, hands on my belly. I was ready to be her voice.

"Ashley, calm down." Michael said softly, his hand on my shoulder. I glared over at him as I pushed his hand away.

"Calm down? I sure as hell will not calm down Michael Joseph! This is our daughter. Our _daughter_! Do you see that image right there?! She is a person! She has a heartbeat, she has a head, a torso, arms, legs, she is your child!"

I pulled the ultrasound out of my purse and ran my fingers across it.

I had yet to feel her kick me, but she was mine, she was all mine. This was a baby that was planned for, she was tried for, wished for, hoped for. She was wanted.

"Ninety two percent Ash! Do you have any idea what a staggering statistic that is?!" Michael screamed as we drove down the highway. My face was locked into a hardened glare as I folded my arms and stared out the window wondering how my husband could possibly be so heartless. We had heard her heartbeat. We had discovered her gender. And all of that meant absolutely nothing to Michael.

"I love her." I whispered, unable to face him.

"We can make another one." He insisted.

"Jesus Christ, Michael! It's a fucking baby, not a burnt cake!" I screamed, the tears returning as I listened to him so carelessly toss away our child in the hopes that the next one would be "perfect".

Slamming his hand against the steering wheel, he shook his head. "Fucking unbelievable, Ashley. What, you're the only one who has a say in this? Because I'm the man, and I'm not the one carrying the child, I get absolutely no say in this whatsoever? What if I don't want her?" He began.

"What if I had dreams for my child? What if I envisioned a life for her that didn't involve six different types of doctors, therapy, and special accommodations? I had visions of teaching our child to ride a bike, to play baseball, to dance. I had dreams dammit!"

My face softened as I turned to face him. "And what? You think I didn't have any dreams myself? Do you honestly think I didn't envision dance classes, teaching her to bake, family vacations, and bedtime stories? We can still have all of that with her Michael! It'll just be a little different."

We would have incredible support, I knew we would.

Michael and I both came from big families. While he grew up with two brothers and three sisters, I was the youngest of four daughters. And, there was of course, our friends. We had endless resources to pull from, and I knew we would never be alone on this journey. Was it going to be an easy journey? No, it wouldn't be. Was it what we had dreamed of? Of course not. But how could he turn his back on your child, his flesh and blood?

"Dammit Ashley! I don't want different! I want normal!"

He pulled the car into the driveway, and put it in park.

"I did not sign up for this life, okay? I didn't. Ashley, I swear..." But he trailed off before he could finish, turning his head to avoid looking at me.

"You swear what?" I questioned, knowing deep down that I didn't want to know the answer.

Michael turned his head to look me square in the eye.

"You have this baby, and I swear, I swear I will leave you."

And with that, he pulled the keys out of the ignition, and slammed the car door, leaving me alone in the passenger seat.

He had left me alone.

My phone was beeping almost constantly with new text messages. The girls knew that I was going to the doctor for an ultrasound that we hoped would reveal the gender of our baby. What they didn't know was that my daughter was sick. What I didn't know was how I was going to tell them.

Unwilling to listen to the beeping any longer, I reached into my purse and grabbed my phone. All of the girls, my Bella sisters wanted to know about our baby.

 _"Well...Bella or Treble? Please say Bella!"-Aubrey_

 _"Little Miss or Little Mister?"-Beca_

 _"Pink or blue?"-Chloe_

 _"Lashes or staches?"-Stacie_

 _"Prince or Princess? Auntie is so excited either way!"-Jessica_

 _"What's the verdict? Suits or Dresses?"-Cynthia Rose_

Amy had sent half a dozen messages, frustrated that I wasn't responding.

 _"Hamburger or hot dog?_

 _HerSHEy or HersHEy?"_

 _"Mounds or Almond Joy?"_

 _"Cupcake or stud muffin?"_

 _"Plain or Peanut?"_

 _"Hello! You there?"_

Scrolling through to the next message, I scrunched my face up in response to Lily's messages. Which, although expected, were downright weird.

 _"Orange or Purple?"_

 _"Eggs or Tadpoles?"_

And just as I had finally gotten through all my messages, Jessica text me again.

 _"Ash I'm starting to get worried, it isn't like you to not answer me like this. Nobody has heard from you. I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but please call/text me. I love you."_

I love my friends, my sisters, more than life itself, but in that very moment, I just wanted to scream. There was only one way to make it all stop, and for the first time in my life, I lost my temper and opened the car door and promptly threw my iPhone onto the concrete, shattering it into pieces.

Leaving the phone in the driveway, I walked into the house, completely ignoring my husband. As I headed into our bedroom, I closed and locked the door before crawling into bed and pulling the covers up over myself.

All I wanted was to wake up from this nightmare.

* * *

Across town, Jesse Swanson was having a very different evening. He smiled to himself as he thought about the fact that he was just hours away from a ten day vacation with his wife and daughter. As he checked on the pot roast in the slow cooker once more, he could hear _Mulan_ playing in the living room.

 _Ancestor: My children never caused such trouble. They all became acupuncturists._

 _Ancestor: Well, we can't *all* be acupuncturists._

 _Ancestor: No! Your great-granddaughter had to be a cross-dresser!_

Jesse chuckled to himself as he closed the lid and dried his hands with with the dish towel. He was about to join Alex in the living room while they waited for Beca to come home, but as he began to make his way out of the kitchen, he heard the distinct ping of his cell phone. Figuring it was Beca, Jesse glanced over at it briefly, only to be surprised when Damian's name popped up on his screen.

Damian, Beca's assistant, was a great guy, and helped Beca out at work immensely. But he and Jesse rarely communicated, so when he received the text message, Jesse's curiosity peaked.

 _"Hey man, just a heads up. I'm not sure what kind of mood Beca was in when she woke up this morning, but mama is on the warpath. If I were you, I'd cover my junk and tell her those jeans make her ass look fabulous."_

Jesse blew out a breath as he looked over the message. He had so been hoping for an enjoyable dinner together as a family.

 _"Ahh shit. How bad are we talking about here?"_ He quickly scrawled out. Damian's reply was instant and just in time as Jesse heard the garage door open and Beca's car pull in.

 _"Well, for starters, she made an intern cry. And when Jax told her that J Cole was running over his studio time, she flipped him off and told him to suck her dick, so..."_

Jesse looked up at the sound of the door opening and Beca making her way inside. Alex instantly jumped off the couch and went running into Beca's arms.

"Mommy!" Alex shrieked as she wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's neck. Beca closed her eyes as she smiled and kissed Alex's hair.

"Hi baby." She greeted. Jesse could hear the lingering hoarseness of Beca's voice. It had been a long two weeks for their family. The previous week, Beca and Alex both had come down with the flu from hell, and dealt with high fevers, stuffy noses, vomiting, and chills. Because of this, Beca was out of commission three work days. Being just days away from her vacation, and under pressure to complete Adele's latest album, Beca had spent Monday and Tuesday night in Manhattan throwing in hours of overtime to make up for time lost. As a result, Beca was completely spent and exhausted, and Jesse could hear it in her voice.

Beca instructed Alex to go wash up for dinner as she set her stuff down. Alex hopped out of Beca's arms and ran off down the hall to the bathroom. It was then that Beca sighed and looked over towards Jesse, smiling softly.

Jesse walked across the kitchen and looked down to her as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Beca leaned up on her toes, wrapped her arms around Jesse's neck and kissed him slowly, allowing herself a moment to enjoy the feel of his lips against her's.

"I'm so tired." Beca whispered against Jesse's lips, her nose grazing his. Jesse released her lips and kissed her cheek as he rested his head in the crook of her neck, smelling her perfume.

"I know you must be. Dinner's all ready, and I'll run you a bath afterwards." Jesse offered.

"Mmm...I love you." Beca whispered, kissing Jesse once more.

"I love you too, Bec. Why don't you go upstairs and get changed." He suggested. Beca nodded and pulled away from his as she went to make her way upstairs.

Beca Swanson was exhausted. That was an understatement. And so, when her foot hit Alex's Doc McStuffin's medical bag, the one Beca had asked her three times to pick up and take to her room, and sent her straight onto her back, it was the final straw.

"Alexandra Kate Swanson!" Beca bellowed. "Stairs, now!"

Timidly, knowing she was in trouble, Alex made her way into the foyer.

"How many times have I asked you to put your doctor bag away? How many?" Beca asked harshly as she began to get up off the floor. It was extremely rare that Beca ever raised her voice to Alex, and Alex wasn't quite sure how to respond. Instead, she stood there, her bright blue eyes staring up at Beca.

"Answer me when I talk to you, Alex!"

"I'm sorry, mommy." She whispered. Alex could feel her face getting hot and the tears began to come to the surface as Jesse walked into the room. She took one look at him before bursting into tears and running over to him, desperate to be held. Jesse picked Alex up and she immediately buried her face into his neck as she wrapped her tiny arms around his neck.

"Bec..."

Beca took a moment to readjust as she took a deep breath and calmed down.

"Alex, I'm sorry for yelling." Beca apologized. Jesse rubbed Alex's back soothingly. She peaked her head out slowly. "I don't like it when you're mad at me mommy, it scares me."

Beca sighed, feeling guilty for upsetting Alex. She had been feeling off all week, and Beca hoped that this vacation would be just what she needed to start feeling herself again.

"And it upsets me when you don't do as I ask. But I shouldn't have yelled, and I'm very sorry."

Alex squirmed out of Jesse's arms and got down to the floor to gather up her toys.

"I'm sorry you fell. I'll go put it upstairs right now."

Beca bent down to Alex's level and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, baby."

As Alex headed upstairs, Jesse walked over and rubbed Beca's arm. "You okay?"

Beca nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired is all. I'm gonna go upstairs and get changed. I have a feeling it's going to be an early night." She explained as she kissed Jesse and headed up to their bedroom.

As she walked into the closet to change into some more comfortable clothes, her phone began to ring. And though she really wasn't in the mood to talk, Beca answered without even bothering to see who was calling.

"Hello?" She snapped.

"Well hello to you too princess! Wake up on the wrong side of the bed did we?" Amy questioned. Beca rolled her eyes.

"Don't think I can't tell you're rolling your eyes. I'm telling you, you keep doing that and they're going to get stuck one day."

"Sure thing, mom. Now seriously, what do you want? I feel like shit. I'm still trying to get over being sick, and I'm absolutely exhausted after working fifty four hours in four days." Beca explained as she wiggled out of her jeans.

"Alright, alright, I can take a hint. I can get to the point, I can say what it is that needs to be said in record time. I can-"

"Amy! What's up?" Beca interrupted.

"Oh. Well, the sky, airplanes, me after a few too many shots of Fireball."

"I'm about ready to hang up on you if you don't get to the point."

Amy sighed. "Okay, okay. Have you heard from Ashley today? Jessica is flying off her rocker and needing to breathe into a paper bag because she hasn't heard from her in the last thirty seconds. But, she has been ignoring all of us. And I know that pitch is reading my messages! It says she saw them at 3:45. Lily called to talk to me about it, I think...but I couldn't hear a word she was saying. I think she might have had a penny under her tongue again."

Beca shook her head as she finally slipped on some leggings and her oversized Bella t-shirt. "Look you weirdos need to chill for five minutes. So we haven't heard back from her on whether it's a boy or girl. Give her time Amy. Ashley is a very rational and sensible human being. When she's ready to tell us, she will. Besides, we're about to spend a week together in Disney World. It'll come out eventually."

"Yeah, yeah, alright, I guess you're right. Now go get yourself a catnap, Shawshank. I'm not about to put up with ten days of your sassy I mean loveable attitude."

Beca laughed softly. "Goodbye, Amy. I'll see you at the airport in the morning."

"Belly and I will be there! Night Bex, love you."

"Love you too."

Beca hung up the phone and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, maybe I will take a quick catnap. Just ten minutes, all I need is ten minutes..."

* * *

My eyes began to flutter, and I shifted in bed. The knocking on the door continued softly. Rubbing my eyes, I sat up in bed and looked over at the clock. It was 7:30 at night and I had just woken from a four and a half hour nap. My head was killing me.

I got up out of the bed and walked over to open the door. Michael stood before me, unable to look me in the eye.

"Jessica called. She was flipping out about not being able to get in touch with you and wanted to make sure you were still alive. Stacie wanted to make sure you were okay and would still be arriving tomorrow." He informed me.

I felt immensely guilty for causing Stacie a distraction when she should have been totally and completely focused on her wedding. I made a mental note to at least get in touch with her and let her know everything was fine. I had to let everyone know that everything was just fine. At least for now. While I hated having to lie, I wasn't about to take away from Stacie's day.

"Can we talk?"

Michael nodded as he made his way into the room and sat on the bed. Sitting next to him, I felt the distance betweeus and hated it. I had never felt uncomfortable with Michael until now. Looking over to the man I fell in the love with and wanted to share my entire life with, I felt my heart ache. I didn't know this person sitting next to me. The man I had fallen in love with five years ago would have never allowed me to go through this alone.

"Do you remember the night she was conceived?" I asked him, trying so hard to stay in control of my emotions. Michael simply nodded his head.

"It was my birthday, and we took that trip to New Orleans." I knew he remembered, but I wanted to remember too.

"We had just started trying the week before, and that night, you made love to me over and over again. So much love, so much passion." It was useless at this point to try and stop the tears, so I gave in and allowed them to flow freely. "You kissed my stomach and told me you hoped we made a baby that night. A baby with your green eyes, my melodic voice, and our passion for music. Michael...this little girl has all of that. I am seventeen weeks pregnant. She's starting to form her fingerprints, she's startled by noises, she has a heartbeat of 142 beats per minute. This baby is apart of me and I have bonded with her. So she'll need a little more help in some areas, but this is our baby, and in my eyes, she will always be perfect. Please, please do not ask me to make this kind of decision. Please do not leave me alone in this." I sobbed as I poured my heart out to Michael, begging him not to leave me. Begging him to help me through this devastating news. But he continued to sit next to me, staring straight ahead, with absolute zero emotion.

"I meant what I said and I said what I meant Ashley. I'm not doing this. We would be taking care of her the rest of our lives. Forget vacations, forget date nights, forget having a life of any kind. Our entire focus would be on this child. And when we die? What then? We burden our other children? No way in hell."

His hands were clenched into fists, his face was hardened.

"I love her." I cried. "I can't abort her. I can't."

Michael nodded his head. "I'll start looking for places tomorrow and be out by the time you get back from Disney. You can stay here, I will make sure to keep up with the mortgage payments."

"Michael, _please!_ I am literally begging you with everything I have. Please do not do this to me, to us!" I screamed.

He got up and walked back toward the bedroom door. With his back to me, his hand on the doorknob, he stayed firmly in place. "Goodbye, Ashley." He whispered coldly.

"You mean goodnight." I replied, correcting him.

"No. I mean goodbye."

He told me it was going to be ok...and yet he left me alone. The love of my life had just walked out on me...for good.


End file.
